.into the black. nowhere else, can my head be so empty, and yet so filled. nowhere else does it all seem to make perfect sense. Only in the sky can I face the days ahead, the hours, the months, the years, the time I will spend filled with the others, before I go and become my own. Before its my turn to fill my head.  I know what they did to me was wrong, and every cycle I wake up I face it all over again. But sometimes, when I help someone, or I see the good in Jayne, I somehow feel that this is my purpose in the Verse. to be the one person that allways comprends what’s really happening.

maybe understanding it will come later.

-River Tam.

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Three steps ahead, two steps back. well we spent a lovely day and a half on Dyton, afor we left again, chasing after the elusive promise of work. I must say, I’m somewhat relieved to be back ‘neath the black again. Like the Cap’n and Zoë in that regard, always thinking three paces ahead of where we’re suppose to be. Even Jayne worries ‘bout it, but most of us leave the worrying to Mal. Except me. Cap’n trusts me to be two steps ahead of him, w’out him having to say a thing. And so I am. But just cause I’m smart don’t mean I don’t get tired of it on occasion. Being a genius on a ship with the same people, day in, day out, is both tiring and frustrating on occasion.

~R. ____________________________

Such a suprise. Silly, yet somber, can’t wait to see his face. Kaylee’s been hankering to do this for months, ever since I had that episode that lead to the current look. Cap’n just keeps putting her off. Now, she’s callin’ it a ‘get well suprise’. More like a ‘get mad suprise’ if you ask me. I’m doing the detail work. Just cause he’s gonna be mad, doesn’t mean I ain’t gonna help.

~ Mischeviously River. ________________________

Shock, and... Um? Cap’ns mouth quite literally dropped when he finally managed to hobble out to the kitchen. was just silent for a good five point three nine minutes, staring at the shiny new look. I percieve he is in some kind of shock. more to be following after he recovers.

I don’t think the new flowers look that bad. its all manner of ‘groovy’ as they used to say. Jayne just won’t eat in there anymore, says its too ‘sissyfied’.

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In her own mind. I spent my awake cycle with Inara today. She sat with her happy Buddha man for awhile. says it brings her peace. Zoë has a different kind of peace. Zoë’s peace says when she dies, she goes to a pretty place. lots of light, no fear, no hate. It won’t be what she imagines it to be, you know. Everything won’t be white, no wings, gravity can’t matter as much, statisically improbable. won’t be the same, so why should they? Can’t be what they want it to be, they want it all wrong.

it’s just a theory anyway. ~ River.

______________________ *hey guys, thank you for all your patience, I'm sorry it took so long to post this part. I'll be posting some other stuff soon as well, and ya'll be the first to know when I start activly writing RD again. ~ Ji*