Rivers Diary: Part Two
Wednesday, April 6, 2011

part two of the Diary of River Tam, some years after the events in BDM.


Drifting. the stars are sparkling in the dead of space (hydrogen, helium, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, silicon, magnesium, neon, iron, sulfur) pretty pretty lights in my eyes drifting with the motion of sweet Serenity (faithful, alive, home, Midbulk transport, standard radion-accelerator core, classcode 03-K64, Firefly, safety) Simon inside worrying Captain flying within Jayne cleaning his guns. Anara her face, and Zoe missing Wash again. my family is broken may never heal but here on Serenity we stay.


Nothing But Noises. nice girls don’t cry. nice girls don’t scream and throw things. nice girls don’t go insane. nice girls don’t wear combat boots. nice girls do their work promptly and cheerfully. nice girls sit and stand and do as their told. I’m not a nice girl. I don’t try hard enough. I need to listen, Simon and Cap'n. know best. I could be a nice girl. if I try.


the Wind. the wind is blowing again. once it start it never stops, not until it fills your head, your eyes, your heart.  not until you scream. Simon says there isn't wind in space. I know better. I see it everywhere. ever since Miranda. the Dead ride the winds that blow us away. we never really left. night night time. time to be a good girl. take my meds. meds make Simon feel safe. Make him feel like I’m better. like everything’s ok. they make me dream. - River.


Somedays. Somedays, Simon smothers me with attention, constantly checking up on me, and some days he hardly even notices me, especially when he’s working on a new project. I know he means well, but I wish he’d make up his gorram mind. At least Kaylee gives him something else to think about these days. I think he’s going to propose. its gonna be a June Wedding. - River


Unification Day. its Unification Day today. I got to pilot Serenity this year, while Simon patched up Cap’n. Zoe didn't much of a fight this year, but at least she went. thats something. - River


Algorithms and Flying. I’ve begun hiding algorithms in my sketches and paintings, just to see if anyone notices. No one ever does anymore, not since Book. Book always noticed, even when he didn't say anything about it. But their there. just in case.  I’ve been much better these past few days, so Cap’n in a rare display of wisdom, has begun showing me how to fly solo. I already know most of it, but its nice to hear him say it anyhow. Cap’n does a rare good job flying Serenity, but he hasn't have the touch. Maybe I do. as for our last Job, we came, we was shot at, we left. Blah blah, all in good health, got the job done. Typical run. Mite to typical these days. But typical. today is a old Earth that was holiday. no one knows but me. all the Families a bustle, ant hill tipped upside down. I’m hiding, so River can’t find me, but have to go soon. Kaylee’s letting me help cook supper. something about Fire in a Can, fun for all the good boys and girls, most especially me. - River.


Sometimes I Wonder sometimes I wonder if there is a Star out there, made just for me. made just for each and everyone of us. the mathematical probability is extremely unlikely of course, but I wonder. - River

*read Rivers new entries everyday at or find her on facebook under Rivers Diary*


Thursday, April 7, 2011 4:07 AM


River has captured the pendulum swing of Simon's attention span - from smothering, overly anxious and caring brother to otherwise pre-occupied with other things. I don't think he can make his mind up because he probably doesn't know he's doing it. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"

Thursday, April 7, 2011 7:20 AM


exactly, thats one of the constant variables that I think would effect River on a day to day basis, her actions swinging from trying to avoid Simon, to desperately trying to get his attention. it effects her relationships with the crew too, especially her friendship with Kaylee. on one hand, Kaylee is her best friend and like a Jie Jie to her, and on another level, River subconciously resents having to compete with her for Simon's attention.

Thursday, April 7, 2011 12:19 PM


Definitely think River's comments about Simon ring true, in that Simon is the kind of person/doctor who tends to look at things as cases to solve or treat and once done, he's not invested as much as he was previously. An interesting facet of his personality and training as a trauma surgeon.

Friday, April 8, 2011 1:52 PM


I like the sense of temporal disorganization of the entries, some seem like before and after.

I also like your poetics, and the very casual diary like feel of these. River seems a lot more calm than she's been in a while.

Friday, April 8, 2011 3:59 PM


mmm I was trying to convey Rivers feeling that time doesn't matter in a more subtle way, I'm happy you noticed that :)
as for River being calm' I feel as if getting Miranda off her chest, and her having several years to mature, would have both given her more calm periods, and when she 'Falls' she 'Falls Deep' so to speak. that is, she rarely has psycotic episodes anymore, but when she does they seem much more severe, in contrast to her day to day temperment.

Friday, April 15, 2011 5:02 AM


There are still grammatical errors that I believe makes the text not feel at all like River wrote it. I'm not the best my self at English, though I saw this:

You say "But their there." And I suppose you mean "But they are there." or "But they're there.".

Friday, April 15, 2011 5:32 PM


woops. thanks for noticing, Im definitely gonna look for a beta for part four.

Sunday, July 31, 2011 12:09 PM


Like I said, I'm looking up parts1-6. I like the choice to have River not completely healed--it adds some dramatic tension, and I secretly think it's more realistic than a complete turn-around (which I am writing a the moment, so who am I to talk?!)


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Allie's Adventures; Part One
Ni Hao! My name's Alleyne Mei Washburne, or Allie for short, and I just turned fourteen. And this, is my Cortex Blog! Sure, its super duper secret and encrypted by River so no one can see it but me, but hey! Blog! One step closer to pretending to be normal. And with my family, that's never easy.

River's Diary: Part Nine.
the final part of Rivers Diary, as pertaing to events five or so years after BDM.

River's Diary: Part Eight.
part eight of the diary of River Tam, some years after the events in BDM

River's Diary: Part Seven.
part seven of the diary of River Tam, some years after the events in BDM.

River's Diary: Part Six
Part Six of the Diary of River Tam, some years after the events of BDM

River's Diary: Part Five
Part Five of the Diary of River Tam, some years after the events in BDM.

River's Diary: Part Four.
part four of the diary of River Tam, some years after the events in the BDM.

Rivers Diary: Part Three
Part three of the diary of River Tam, as written some years after the events in BDM

Rivers Diary: Part Two
part two of the Diary of River Tam, some years after the events in BDM.

Rivers Diary: Part One
the Diary of River Tam several years after the events in BDM.