BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

STINKINGROSE

Flying The Coop
Sunday, May 24, 2009

The landscape's changing. Serenity's moving on. They'll all be fine.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1800    RATING: 7    SERIES: FIREFLY

This is a work of fan fiction, any resemblance to the work of others is purely intentional and largely coincidental. Nobody's getting paid for this. The characters that are not mine are someone else's. Please don't sue.

Flying The Coop ********** (Copia. Farmhouse. Spare room. Someone’s in labor, and it isn’t Jayne. Simon is attending to matters at hand, Mal is at Jazmine’s head distracting her through annoyance.)

MAL: “Plenty of virtues to choose from.” JAZ: (through one last push) “I am not naming my child Thrift. (breathing in relief) How do you feel about Patience?” MAL: “That ain’t funny.” (over first cry) SIMON: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but perhaps you should refocus your efforts slightly.” MAL: “Sheh meh?” SIMON: “It’s just that he might not appreciate being named Chastity.” MAL: “You mean it’s a boy?” SIMON: “Would you care for a second opinion?” JAZ: “Oh look, he’s got your..!” MAL: “Thought you said you couldn’t tell before. How’d you miss that?” SIMON: “He never seemed to share your penchant for mooning.” MAL: “Well, how ‘bout Fidelity then?” JAZ: “I would like to take this moment to remind you of your pet mercenary.” MAL: “Point. We could name him after your father.” JAZ: “But I don’t like the name Ezra.” MAL: “You never said that was his name.” JAZ: “It’s a measure of my dislike.” MAL: “That don’t seem too respectful.” JAZ: “Papa hated it too, made everybody call him Jim.” MAL: “Huh. Jim. Had a ranch hand named Jim once. Not too bad a feller. Wasn’t short for James though, Jiminy as I recall. He didn’t like it much either.” JAZ: “Should’ve called him Ez.” (Simon puts the bundle on Jazmine’s belly and returns to work) MAL: “James ain’t bad.” JAZ: “Two Jims could get confusing. What about Seamus?” MAL: “Little old fashioned. Not bad though. Seamus Reynolds. How’s ‘bout Seamus Ezra so’s he knows when you’re fit to boil over.” JAZ: “It’s hard to believe right now that I could ever possibly yell at him.” MAL: “Plum amazing how fast that wears off.” SIMON: “I hate to interrupt during such a critical time for his future psychological well being, but we’re not quite done yet. Jazmine, if you’d care to push we can take care of his ugly little friend and return to the name game forthwith.” JAZ: “Break’s over?” SIMON: “Break’s over.”

****** (Mal and Jazmine’s room a short while later, Grace is in the bed looking skeptically at the new arrival.)

MAL: “We have replaced ourselves. Any more would just be greedy.” JAZ: “Can we still practice? (winces) Later. Say next year?” MAL: “Reckon there’s no harm in it. So Gracie, what do you think of your new brother?” (GRACE wrinkles her nose.) JAZ: “That opinion will change in about twenty or so years, never you mind.”

***** (Copia, farmhouse, kitchen. Mal and Jaz walk in looking for Jayne. Resultant snackus interruptus.)

JAZ: “Jayne, I have a proposition for you.” JAYNE: “Sure the Captain won’t mind none?” JAZ: “Welding, pressure suit. Union scale, hazard pay and overtime.” JAYNE: “What’s the hitch?” JAZ: “There’s a distinct possibility you could drown.” MAL:” Sounds fair.” JAYNE:” Har har.” JAZ: “Ginormous waves. Could swamp a floating city, which is why that plan was abandoned.” JAYNE: “No seaside resorts, then?” JAZ: “None to speak of. At least not above the tide line.” MAL: “Platform in the harbor just offshore near to one of the old compounds, last storm tore a strut loose. Below decks, hence the pressure suit. Needs repair soonest or the whole thing could go. Settlers were hoping to hook it back up . Get the hydropower flowing again, maybe get another town started up next year. Wind turbine atop the platform could use a little tweaking while you’re at it. “ JAZ: “If you’re feeling up to it, that is. There’s a crew ready, they just need a lead welder.” JAYNE: “Beats pickin’ fruit, straight enough. You got yourself a deal.” JAZ: “Nothing like a bumper harvest to put it all in perspective.” MAL: “Serenity’ll take you out. Couple things need checking on. We leave first light. Goin’ cross-lots.”

***** (Copia. Farmhouse. Kitchen. Jazmine is cooking breakfast.)

KAYLEE: “You heard when Cap’ns plannin’ to absquatulate?” JAZ: “Nope. Not long now, though.” KAYLEE: “How do you figure?” JAZ: “His son’s safe and in the world. We’re snugged in here like bedbugs. Plenty of eyes to watch out for one another on the ground and out and about. Regular shipping lines are established for information and quick exits as needs must. He’s itching to get back out there. So is everyone else for that matter.” KAYLEE: “Not you, Shanty?” JAZ: “Me too, most certainly, but my place is here. At least for a while. Little ones to raise and a colony to tend to.” (sings) “And all the little chickens in the garden”. KAYLEE: “You reckon you’ll ever come back on board? Won’t be the same without your cooking.” JAZ: “I’ll pack your lunch, Ah guk. The timing’s not good for me to be wandering about freeboot, especially with wee ones in tow. KAYLEE: Gonna miss you QBG.” JAZ: “Just you keep a little garlic around your neck and have a singsong regular, you’ll never even notice I’m gone. River can now make bao almost as good as mine.” KAYLEE: “And way too many dirty dishes, but that’s the price we pay for not eating off the floor with our hands.” JAZ: “I’ll be done here in about twenty. Could you call in the ravening horde m’dear?” KAYLEE: “Quicker’n you can spit. Cap’n said he needed me along to check on some things. Weren’t too specific, but he seemed in an all-fired hurry to go after porridge. He’s on ship running down the final checks.” (starts out the door) JAZ: “I’ll just let him eat off the floor with his hands so he won’t have to help with the dishes, shall I?” KAYLEE: “Careful, he might do it outta pure orneriness.”

****** (Copia. Energy platform offshore. The repair team is suiting up, Jayne included.)

T.L.: “Now I know you’ve all worked in pressure suits before vaccumside, but it’s a little different in the wet.” WELDIE: “Howzat?” T.L.: “Air supply’s still limited, but these suits ain’t rated for high pressure. Doing a little guesswork on this one. They’ve been fine so far, just keep your wits about you and watch the chrono.” SPANNER: “No leaks?” T.L.: “No leaks. Just got to remember about timing on reentry so to speak. You’ve got 8 hours air. Full shift’s worth. After that you’re blue. So far so good, but it’s a full hour down to depth. Got to take two on the way back up. Leaves you with five hours of fixin’.” JAYNE: “Five gonna be enough?” SPANNER: “Six on the team, it’s an eight hour job.” T.L.: “Gonna need a shift and a half for this one, things go smooth.” WELDIE: “Things don’t go smooth?” T.L.: “Don’t curse yourself ‘fore you even get started. Not so smooth means at least two full shifts. Takes a shift to recharge the scrubbers. This stuff’s serviceable, but ain’t the most up to date. Can’t scrub water like the proper diving gear out nowabouts.” JAYNE: “I’m countin’ four cods here, where’s the other two crew?” T.L.: “You’ll be comin’ up a couplea cods shy. Got two more sets of hands, mind. They’re charging the scrubbers.” JAYNE: “Women?” T.L.: “You got a problem with that?” JAYNE: “Not a one. (aside) Any chance of socializin’ between shifts?” WELDIE: “Not much. Ice queens the pair.” SPANNER: “Sparky’s the best welder this side of Calicutt. Servo’s on remotes. Steady hand, cool head. Good to work with but don’t piss her off. Dong ma?” JAYNE: “I reckon.” T.L.: “Cobb, Spanner, Weldie... make your introductions, get back out of your gear, and then spend the rest of the shift getting up to speed on the job and equipment. Any questions, find me. No questions means you ain’t tryin’ hard enough. Period. Get a grip on it or get blue. Frankly I don’t fancy picking up your dead ass’ slack, so I’d appreciate it if you’d get on it lickety spllit. Chow’s in four. “ JAYNE: “Well this sounds like fun.”

****** (Demeter. Pan and zoom in to somewhere deep inside. Control center for something involving targeting systems. Graphic of Copia on a heads-up.)

KAYLEE: (whistles) “You mean all this has been here the whole time?” ZOE: “Longer than that. Hid it away pretty good. Wouldn’t have known it was here if Shanty hadn’t told us.” MAL: “Best we keep it that way. Always love a surprise.” RIVER: “There’s a remote center on Cornu. Part weather station, part refuge.” MAL: “Looks to be in good repair. What do you make of it?” ZOE: “Somebody did not sleep well at night.” MAL: “I’ll sleep a mite better knowing it’s in working order.” KAYLEE: “That paranoid general Shanty bought the place from was really.. paranoid.” MAL: “Now miss Kaylee, you never know when you’ll need a planetary defense system. And wouldn’t you just feel silly if it wasn’t there when you did?” RIVER: “The good news is it doesn’t look like you can target the planet without some serious overrides.” ZOE: “Bad news?” RIVER: “By the time you finished making them the planet would be under enemy control. Or the owners would be breaking down the door to see who was playing with their presets.” MAL: “Safety’s on then?” RIVER: “Safety’s on.” KAYLEE: “Won’t take more’n five or six hours to make sure the mechanicals are all squeaky clean and runnin’, Cap’n. “ MAL: “Shiny. Should be back in time for supper.”

******* (Copia. Platform. Chow hall. Mid meal.)

SPARKY: (picking dubiously at something green) “Soon as this job’s over I’m headed for a nice sausage sandwich.” WELDIE: “With onions and peppers.” SPARKY: “And mushrooms and cheese.” JAYNE: (leering mildly) Nothin’ like a little sausage...” SERVO: (snorts derisively) SPARKY: “I’d had my hopes set on a big one.” SERVO: “Better wait till you get home then.” T.L.: “While I hate to break up such an edifyin’ dinner conversation concerning the joys of the local sausage supply, I feel a need to remind everyone that the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can stop speculating and actually compare wieners at our leisure.” SERVO: “Cobb, I have those specs you asked for. Sparky and yourself might best compare notes.” SPARKY: “Three welders, two engineers, and a robot walk into a bar.. the schematics were off by three feet.” SPANNER: “That’s it. No cheese for you.” T.L.: “I think I just lost my appetite. Meet you all in two hours for a run through.” WELDIE: “I just hope the weather holds.” JAYNE: “This go se? SPANNER: “This is the good stuff, you don’t want to see it get ugly.”

******** (Yet another crappy little desert moon. Miles from nowhere. Parlay with representatives from the impending uprising is over. Mal and Zoe are being dropped off at the shuttle by a young and overly enthusiastic driver.)

ESCORT: “You really immortal?” MAL: “Not so’s you’d notice. You hear otherwise?” ESCORT:“ Shr ah! I’ve heard you’ve got a whole passel full of clones just to harvest the wetware for spares, so’s you’ll never die. “ ZOE: “Best be off to spread fairy tales elsewhere ‘fore you’re missed.” ESCORT: “We’ll be in touch.” (exits) MAL: “Man puts one little heart in a box, next thing you know he’s a gorram zombie king. Where do people come up with this go se?” ZOE: “Hard to be a legend in your own time.” MAL: “Just so long as I manage to stay in my own time. ZOE: “Not looking forward to facing the little woman if you ain’t above snakes?” MAL: “Not in particular.” ZOE: “Hold onto that thought. What’s your water tell you Sir?” MAL: “Smells like a power play. With the best intentions, mind. We’ll just be sitting this dance out.” ZOE: “Rebellious idealism failing to sway you?” MAL: “Found my freedom. Not lettin’ go, not going out looking for a fight again either.” ZOE: “Even after Miranda?” MAL: “Especially after Miranda.” ZOE: “S’pose it’s for the best, Sir.” MAL: “How’s that?” ZOE: “Hate to have to rename the ship..”

******** (Copia. Platform. Crew quarters shared by the women.)

SPARKY: “ooh.. But I like playing with fire. I’m good at it.“ SERVO: “Don’t pout. You know what it does to my knees.“ SPARKY: “That’s why I do it.“ SERVO: “I’m just saying I’m not sure this is the time or place to get involved in entanglements.” SPARKY: “There’s never a perfect time. Or place. We moved here to get a fresh start away from the Core. Settle down. Make babies.” SERVO: “I just don’t think we’re established enough.” SPARKY: “We’ve been on planet for nigh on six months. We’ve got a nice house. Work’s steady and not showing signs of slacking off. What else are we waiting for, the lottery?” SERVO: “Insem’s expensive. Our savings can’t take it yet.” SPARKY: “What if we could get it for free?” SERVO: “As in indulge in your inexplicable sausage fetish?” SPARKY: “ What can I say, I’m a culinary adventuress.” SERVO: “Well you certainly can cook, Ah Guk.” SPARKY: “Glad you pay attention Sau Lin..” SERVO: “My Chrysanthemum is quite tasty.’ SPARKY: “And my Beautiful Lotus has exquisite petals, but we’re not going to be able to start a family without a little outside input and we’ve known that from the start.” SERVO: “I know. I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to share. I’m a jealous woman.” SPARKY: “So that’s what happened to my toys...” SERVO: “Ai ya! I told you that box was lost in the move. If you’ll recall the junk drawer from the chi fong went missing as well? Life’s just not the same since we lost the potato ricer.” SPARKY: “Not to mention the other box. Do you know how hard it is to find that stuff in mango?” SERVO: “I’m the one who found it, so yes. Fine, you win. Did you have anyone particular in mind? Lars the grocer? Han from accounting at the bank? Steve and Gregor in the next settlement who have suspiciously well decorated accommodations for two young bachelors?” SPARKY: “I’d been considering Cobb.” SERVO: “That fan tong?! He’s a dai dun op. You never said you wanted to have idiots with me.” SPARKY: “There’s more to that one than meets the eye. I heard him use a big word when he thought nobody was looking.” SERVO: “I had an uncle with a parrot that could do that. I could see if the parrot’s available some evening.” SPARKY: “He used it correctly, in a complete sentence. There was even punctuation and almost no cussing. Be nice. Besides, he’s a welder.. it’s at least one redeeming quality. He might even be better than me, and I’m not being modest.” SERVO: ”Cobb. Seriously?” SPARKY: “Maybe. Food for thought.” SERVO: “Best to sleep on it. Shift starts in 10. Not too much trouble you can get into with him in a pressure suit underwater.” SPARKY: “Never underestimate a determined woman.” SERVO: (Hits her with a pillow) “Sleep.”

***** (Copia. Barn. Jazmine is considering Serenity. Mal enters and puts his arms around her.)

MAL: “Lotus Flower I don’t know quite how to put this, but..” JAZ: “Your inner vagabond is calling and you have a terminal case of dirtsick. You’re leaving. I know, Bamboo. It’s time and past. Grab your crew and go. I’ll pack you a lunch. “ MAL: (a bit taken aback) “I only meant on a quick and lucrative run. Maybe next week? How did you know?!” JAZ: “Mal, you’ve been bored out of your mind for over two years. I saw it coming. Everyone did. Go. With my blessings on you all. The door is always open to you, but you might want to knock first.” MAL: “Not so bored as all that, and if the door’s so open why do I need to knock?” JAZ: “Because if things get as ugly as I think they will I may start sleeping with my crossbow under my pillow, and I’d hate to have to paint over you.” MAL: “Mighty sentimental of you. You don’t seem overly tearsome about it.” JAZ: “That’s because this is my resigned face. It’s the one I use just before I put on my martyred expression when you ask for a month’s supply of bao to go.” MAL: “You’re just not going to let this be hard on me, are you?” JAZ: “All things are transient. We’ll adjust. It’s not like you’re dead. Again. Yet.” MAL: “Thanks for the vote of confidence. (turns her to face him) I was hoping you’d come with. Could still use a cook.” JAZ: “The garden won’t fit in the ship. I have responsibilities here, and there’s more leg room for the little ones. You can’t have it both ways, Mal. You’re just going to have to trust me to stay safe when you’re not here. See? I’m making it harder on you. Happy?” MAL: “Deleriously.” JAZ: “It’s to be expected. Bamboo does not like to stay confined to one place. You’re my space pirate. Go do that “yo ho” thing. I’ll keep the port lights on for you. “ MAL:’ My legitimate business interests..” JAZ: “Are few and far between, but I could put in a good word for you if you’d like.” MAL: “That won’t be necessary. Now toss me my hook and my parrot and hand over that bao. “ JAZ: “It’s in the freezer. “(sighs dramatically) MAL: “You do a good martyred. A little heavy on the guilt trip, but not bad. Sausage or veg?” JAZ: “Lesser men would be quailing at my feet by now. Both.” MAL: “And I wouldn’t think any lesser of them for it. Now I’ll go raid the pantry for my greater good. Yarrgh.” JAZ: “Shoo. Go. Find your luggage and dust off your ship. (calling after him) Any word on Jayne?”

*******

(Platform. Control room. Not quite in full panic mode.)

T.L.: “Cobb? Status report! Cobb! Are you there?” JAYNE: “Yeah. Strut cut loose all sudden like. Knocked Spanner to the end of his tether, tore Sparky’s suit. Got a patch on it. Didn’t leak too much. What in the gorram sphincter of hell just happened?” T.L: “Weather shifted sooner than expected. It’s getting a little choppy up here. How much work have you got left to do?” SPARKY: “I’m going to have to cut it short. I had another four hours of air, just lost at least a half an hour to pretty bubbles. There was only about another four hours of work.” T.L.: “Was?” JAYNE: “Strut’s loose, hit the next one over and bent it. Adds on another four hours.” T.L.: “Don’t play it out for overtime, you’d best get topside as soon as it’s secure down there. “ SPANNER: “Servo, can you get the wally down here again to re-bend that strut or are we going to have to do this by hand?” SERVO: “Turning around as we speak. At least somebody on this repair crew doesn’t have to worry about running out of air.” SPARKY: “Rub it in, honey.” T.L. : “Save it for when you’ve got an unlimited supply and get back topside before there’s no point.” SPARKY: “Will do.”

*********

(Copia. Serenity. Cockpit.)

RIVER: “Please hold while I try that extension. (hits a button and turns on the com) Captain? Wave for you. Should I send it down?” MAL: “Neveryoumind. Last time you tried that it wound up broadcast, and it was a personal call. I’m on my way.” RIVER: (Giggles) “Still thinks that one was an accident. “ (hits button) “Your wave is important to us. Please continue to hold and the next available captain will be with you shortly.” (hits button) “Our operators are standing by to disconnect you at the first sign of trouble hun dan, so watch it. “

******** (Copia. Farmhouse kitchen. Half an hour later.)

KAYLEE: “Where are we off to?” MAL: “What will hopefully prove to be a fruitless rendezvous. You’ll be staying with the ship, so don’t bother packing your dancing shoes.” ZOE: “Quick trip. Out and back. Just a day trip. “ MAL: “Skeleton crew. Doc can stay here. River too. Just need Zoe and my mechanic.” KAYLEE: “All right cap’n. But no getting shot without Simon.” MAL: “I ain’t been shot in months. Safe as skydivin’.” ZOE: “Jayne stays behind?” MAL: “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun playin’ with his torch. No need to get him all grumpusticated.” ****

(Platform. Full depth. The strut is being recalcitrant.)

JAYNE: “Gorramit! Hold ‘er steady!” SERVO: “You try fighting the currents and compensating for the movement of the rest of the platform in the weather and see how easy it is, Cobb.” JAYNE: “This thing busts loose you could be down here seeing it first hand.” SERVO: “There, that’s got it back in place. Hit it, fast!” WELDIE: “On it.” JAYNE: “Steady, that’s it. Flux it out good, don’t want no cracks nor holes. Right. Now, light ‘em up and hit it. Go!” (Both ignite torches and begin to mend the broken strut.) T.L.: “Sparky’s almost home. Took a little too long getting things in place, but you’ll still make it back if you get a move on.” JAYNE: “This is harder than it looks. Less jibber-jabberin’d be a help. Still got to get the break we came down for.” WELDIE: “Another dive, another dollar.” T.L.: “Keep it up and I’ll start charging rent.” JAYNE: “We’ll have a hen party when we get home. Till then hush it. “ T.L..: “Understood. See you then. Call if you run into more trouble. Out.”

****** (Spacescape, with Serenity. On the way to a rendezvous. )

ZOE: “Feels good to get out and about again, Sir.” MAL: “That it does.” KAYLEE: “Swag needs movin’ all a-hustle and a-bustle.” ZOE: “A to B to A then home?” MAL: “Not so much as another soul to deal with.” KAYLEE: “When does the coin come in?” ZOE: “Half up front, half on return.” MAL: “Schmooth.” KAYLEE: “Jayne’ll be sorry he missed it.” ZOE: “He’d be bored to tears. Nobody to shoot this trip.” MAL: “Don’t tell him, but he’s making better money where he is.”

******

(Copia. Platform. Crew is back and stripping out of dive gear. Sounds like a storm has picked up.)

JAYNE: (hearing creaking in the weather) “Ain’t nohow this is worth the pay.” SPANNER: “Beats catchin’ rats at the dump.” JAYNE: “Doncha mean shootin’?” WELDIE: “Good eatin’ on a rat. Some folks pay top dollar.” JAYNE: “Depends on where you’re from, I reckon.” T.L.: (entering) “ Status?” JAYNE: “Blowed, and not the fun way.” SPANNER: “We managed to get a patch on the beam we went down for, but had to head up too soon.” T.L.: “Will it hold through the weather?” SPANNER: “Ought do. Just. I hope.” T.L.: “As in ‘you hope’ we’ll be fine, or ‘you hope’ we should evac pronto?” SPANNER: “As in I hope I don’t wake up swimming tomorrow, but I’m not wearing a wetsuit to bed. JAYNE: “Should hold through this, but we’d best get her fixed as soon as the weather breaks.” WELDIE: “We’ll be back on it first thing two shifts out.” T.L.: “You have obviously not seen the radar lately.” JAYNE: “Howd’ya mean?” T.L.: “The suits have at least three days to charge. Best take up knitting.” WELDIE: “ Wo de tien ah.” JAYNE: “Anyone bring a deck of cards?” WELDIE: “Man can only take so much Go Fish.” JAYNE: “Depends on if he’s the one winnin’ everone else’s pay.” WELDIE: “ Explain to me how that game works like that.”

****

(Serenity. Air lock. Returning at a dead run. Gunfire being exchanged.)

MAL: “RIVER, WE’RE ON BOARD! TAKE US OUT OF HERE!” ZOE: “That went normally, Sir.” MAL: “Shoulda brought Jayne.” ZOE: “Leastways we didn’t need the doc.” MAL: “I got the half up front part, but remind me where the plan said they were gonna doublecross us and not only stiff us the second half, but try to take back the first half and leave us for dead?” ZOE: “Think they decided to improvise, Sir.” MAL: “You reckon?” ZOE: “That I do, Sir.” MAL: “Least we kept the first half.” ZOE: “Only because we decided to leave it on board, then beat them back to the ship.” MAL: “Mr. Strategy, that’s me.” ZOE: “Can we go home now, Sir?” MAL: “Why Zoe, that was almost a whine.” ZOE: “Was not, Sir.” MAL: “Was so.” ZOE: “Sir, don’t make me shoot you.” MAL: (retrieves pouch of coin from hiding place) “Let’s go divvy up the booty. They’ll be underwhelmed.” ZOE: “You can always point out that they could have stayed home and picked fruit.” MAL: (shaking pouch) “Belike to be a bigger take.” ZOE: “Ah, the good old days..” MAL: “You could walk home.”

****

(Copia. Platform. Outside the women’s quarters. Sparky is hard in mid-flirt with Jayne.)

SPARKY: “I’ve got a terrible problem with my bunk, I was hoping you could fix it.” JAYNE: “What’s that?” SPARKY: “Not enough people in it.” JAYNE: “Well now, I might be able to help at that. Your bunkmate out?” SPARKY: (opening door and pulling him through) “No. Why?” JAYNE: (leering as he passes through the door) “No reason. (sotto voce) Nothin’ like making up for lost time.”

******* (Later. Inside the bunk.)

SERVO: “Thank Bhudda you sent him out for food.” SPARKY: “He is persistent.” SERVO: “Six hours in a cloud of testosterone is sufficient.” SPARKY: “We’ve got three days. Why rush?” SERVO: “Because he’s large and hairy, and we’ve got what we need.” SPARKY: “I thought you were enjoying his company.” SERVO: “I was enjoying your company. He was enjoying watching me enjoy your company. I was not enjoying watching him enjoying your company.” SPARKY: “I’m very enjoyable company.” SERVO: “Were it not for statistics he would not be allowed back in this room” SPARKY: “Two’s better odds than one. Your turn when he gets back.” SERVO: “You know, I gave up penises several years ago. They are lacking in aesthetic appeal. Plus I can’t stand the way they stare at you.” SPARKY: “BUT...” SERVO: “But it’s a matter of timing, we have one captive, and we need it for the genetic material. I know.” SPARKY: “Who wants to be a mommy?” SERVO: “I will be so happy when they find a way to synthesize spermatazoa. Can we open a vent or something?” JAYNE: (from outside) “Chow’s on ladies!” SERVO: “That was fast.” SPARKY: “He’s like that.” SERVO: “Next time, we run for the food.”

*****

(Copia. Farmhouse. Kitchen. Table is laid for dinner. All are assembled but River and Jayne.)

RIVER: (entering) “Balast is off on the port engine, shuttle two.” MAL: “And a fine hello to you, too.” KAYLEE: “I’m sure it ain’t more than a nothing. On it first thing tomorrow! Dinner trumps wibbling.” JAZ: “At least one person has their priorities in order.” MAL: “We came straight I heard the second call.” SIMON: “Fourth, actually. You were too engrossed in ‘Mr. Bunny goes to Londinium’ to hear the first two tries.” MAL: “It is compelling reading.” ZOE: “I was about to fetch the gong.” JAZ: “Dig in!” JAYNE: “Who said dinner?” SIMON: “How was your week of paid vacation?” JAYNE:(reaching for rolls) “Paid. And other things that rhyme.” JAZ: (pulls tray away) “There are small ears present. Leave that talk on the doorstep with your boots, Mr. Cobb.” JAYNE: “It was lovely, apart from nearly drowning. All fixed up. How was yours?” SIMON: “It was very uneventful, thank you.” JAZ: (stuffs a roll in each’s mouth) “Much better.” KAYLEE: “Tamed with nothing but baked goods.” MAL: “Mark of a true professional.” ZOE: “But will it last?” MAL: “Sounds like a story for after bedtime.” JAYNE: (chuckles lasciviously while chewing) JAZ: (warning) “Bread, Jayne.” JAYNE: (stuffs the rest of the roll) “Mm mmf.”

***** (Copia. Farmhouse porch. After dark. After dinner. Picking session ongoing. Fireflies are out, children are in various stages of falling asleep. Mal and Jazmine are taking a stroll around the garden.)

MAL: “You sure I can’t leave you with a shuttle?” JAZ: “Malcolm Reynolds, you are infuriating. I have sufficient transportation at my disposal. You are going to need that shuttle. Don’t be such a mother hen.” MAL: “Mother he.. that is completely .. you sure?” JAZ: “Positive.” MAL: “ Shouldn’t be gone more’n a month. Got a job lined up. Ought to go a little smoother than the last one. “ JAZ: “Here’s hoping. So you still didn’t mention how your little meeting with the old war buddies went.” MAL: “Those were not my buddies, anyone else’s for that matter. Bunch of hotheads trying to recapture glory and a little cash on the side.” JAZ: “Charming, I’m sure. You know you’re going to get dragged into this when it all goes zucchini shaped.” MAL: “Plan on sticking to making things go from one place to another. Nothing more.” JAZ: “Since when has having a plan ever helped?” MAL: “Woman, stop using logic and fact on me.” JAZ: “Yes dear, I promise to be irrational and fallacious from this day forth.” MAL: “Won’t help. You’ll still be right.” JAZ: “Just you mind that.” MAL: “I aim to stay out until I can’t, and then pick my trenchmates real careful like.” JAZ: “ I’ll keep my ear to the ground for you.” MAL: “Much obliged.” JAZ: “Damn straight. So when does the fantastic voyage embark?” MAL: (Wraps his arms around her) “Need a couple days to tie up loose ends, finalize coordinates for the drop. “ JAZ: “Just look at them all. It’s going to be awfully quiet around here with just Sovay and the kids for company... and a few hundred settlers.“ MAL: “What’s life without a mercenary underfoot?” JAZ: “ Not sure I remember. If I send some crates of produce out do you think it’ll make it there before he eats it all?” MAL: “I will do my utmost.” JAZ: “You always do.”

**** (Copia sweeps out of the frame as Serenity breaks atmosphere.)

COMMENTS

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 8:30 AM

MSA


Sweet:) Very Shiny:)


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