What's The Buzz?
Saturday, September 16, 2006

Follows Triangulation. Plans laid. People too. Honey's sweet but love is sweeter. Jayne fears bees.


Disclaimer inserted here. Not my property, not making money, just having fun.

What’s The Buzz?

Scene 1 (Near Persephone.)

BADGER: (on vidscreen) So how d’you feel about bees? MAL: They sting, I don’t much care for that. Why? BADGER: They also make honey what rhymes wif money, which sweetens me toward the little beggars no end. MAL: What’s this got to do with my ship? BADGER: Got client here wants some bees moved to a planet out in the black, then honey to be brought back here. Tidy sum to be made. MAL: Why this ship? BADGER: Ti wo de pi gu if you’re not the only hun dan desperate enough to take bugs that far. MAL: They asked for us special, did they? BADGER: They asked for the craziest biao zi de erzi I knew. You popped up at top of list. MAL: Where’s the far point? BADGER: Uninhabited planet. Migrants work it in season, then push off for greener pastures. ‘S a bit off the beaten path. MAL: Does this land of not much else and honey have a name? BADGER: Didn’t say. You’ll get a wave wtih the coordinates if you accept. Must be some rich bugger what don’t like company as owns it. I just collect my sum for setting it up. MAL: So where do we pick the bees up, on the docks? BADGER: Matter of fact you don’t. Pop ‘round to these coordinates for that lot. IF you’re taking the job. MAL: We’ll be landing to refuel and restock. Let your client know we’ll be ready to leave in 3 days. Crew’s got some errands to run, some as want to stretch their legs a little. That gonna be a problem? BADGER: Shouldn’t be. Ta! MAL: Ta. JAZ: (lurking near door) Work? MAL: Work. So, you know any rich and crotchety buggers looking to hire crazies to move bugs around? JAZ: Might do. MAL: Thought so. (takes her hand) How many layers you working through on this one? JAZ: Only 3. It’s my cargo. I’d like to see Copia again, and the migrants will be leaving soon. Pruning’s done. Honey’s off the hives. We’re bringing in the new stock to replace what’s been lost. You ever have a ripe pear fresh off the tree? MAL: Can’t say as I have. (kisses her hand) JAZ: Ginger pear pie. You are in for a treat. (leans in for a kiss) MAL: Anything special we need to bring? JAZ: There may be a few odds and ends tucked in with the bees. You’ll want a hat, it tends towards the breezy there. Chimes change key when it picks up. Kinda flat most places One big mountain, couplea smaller ranges here and there. Not much in the way of big trees yet. MAL: How long’s it like to take? JAZ: Depends on how hard you burn. I’d say four weeks out, another 3 back. MAL: Less back? JAZ: Slight detour to Dyton for goodies and sundries. MAL: And just what encompasses sundries? JAZ: The occasional passenger. MAL: What’s the occasion? JAZ: Family reunion. MAL: This another one of your bolt holes? JAZ: Nope, rendezvous with the space gypsies. This is the place I want you to know how to find in direst need. We’ll have to hurry back towards the center of civilization after though. Much more than two months is cutting it a little close with ZOE and it would be best if we were within spitting distance of a real med center just in case. Twins tend to get impatient. MAL: You’re not that far behind her yourself. Should be pretty low risk traveling. Less chance of getting shot at while you’re a two-fer the better. Zoe’ll stand by a body’s side even when she’s waddling. Reflexes slow and the belly makes too good a target when it gets that big. I was wondering how to best handle that when the time came. ‘Fraid I’d have to order her to stay behind. She wouldn’t like that overmuch. Nice quiet bit of work should be just what the doctor ordered. (Kisses her) Woman, you are devious. JAZ: Doctor was fretting some over her. This should make him easier to work with. Think of it as a working vacation. It’s funding itself. Nice leisurely stopover, then make our way back to meet new folk and find interesting new crime to commit. MAL: You do know how to make a thing sound appealing. Go start on supper (smacks her bottom) I’ll tell the others ‘fore we land. (she exits as com beeps). (Grinning ear to ear) Why hello Badger. Let’s talk fees.

Scene 2 (Meal that evening)

KAYLEE: But we’ve still got two days to restock and repair, right Cap’n? MAL: Should do. JAYNE: R&R don’t leave much time for R&R. MAL: There’ll be time aplenty for amusing yourself on our next endeavor. JAYNE: What’s that? MAL: Long haul freight with a return payload. Possibility of some passengers on their way to a rendezvous. ZOE: (Hand to belly) How long a haul, Sir? MAL: Not that long. Maybe seven weeks all told. We’ll be back near advanced medicine soon enough. SIMON: That’s good to hear. We should really find somewhere peaceful yet civilized to relocate until after Zoe’s delivered if we can. Staying in one place until Jazmine’s finished would be preferable. MAL: That’s already under consideration, Doc. I got not desire to be helping you catch ‘em in the middle of nowhere. Coin we make on this ought to let us set a spell. Maybe let Kaylee have a little fun with the ship. KAYLEE: There’s a few things could use a little tighten and tweak. MAL: We’ll be out in the black a while. Make sure nothing’s like to fall off Serenity twixt here and there Little Kaylee. Dong Ma? KAYLEE: Cap’n, have I ever let her down like that... ‘cept when you wouldn’t give me funds to fix her? MAL: That’ll be enough of that, and no. RIVER: What’s our destination? MAL: Pickup on Dyton then head for Harvest. Our stop’s closest in her orbit to there this time of year. RIVER: I assume nomenclature exists for this locale? MAL: It does. It’s a bitty little planet wtih one large moon, uninhabited. SIMON: What’s it called? MAL: Moon’s called Demeter. ZOE: And the planet? RIVER: Copia! Terrible word play. JAYNE: How’s that? RIVER: Because its largest geographical feature is one large horn shaped mountain named Cornu. ZOE: What did that poor little rock do to deserve that? RIVER: It was named by surveyors, not the owners. There was plenty of water before terra forming efforts began. Wishful nomenclature. JAYNE: How d’you know all that? RIVER: (glares at him) I read. You should try it sometime. MAL: While I will admit trading witty banter’s always a tickle, we still have business to discuss. ZOE: What are we carrying, Sir? MAL: People. ZOE: What are we carrying other than people? MAL: (quickly) Bees. ZOE: Bees? MAL: Bees. In stasis. And honey on the return. SIMON: Follows a certain logic I suppose. Why bees? RIVER: Pollination, dummy. SIMON: Ah, of course. Food source. JAYNE: What’s she mean? People eatin’ bees? ZOE: Bees pollinate flowers, flowers turn into fruit and vegetables. No bees, no food. MAL: Copia’s restocking lost bees. The space gypsies we’re picking up are heading out to meet with the migrant workers there. We’re bringing part of the honey crop back for sale closer in. JAYNE: How’s honey money? MAL: Not bad. Neither is bees’ fees. ZOE: You can stop now. MAL: Best paying part is the travelers. ZOE: Space gypsies? MAL: Traveling under the radar. I didn’t ask too closely. SIMON: What’s another fugitive or seven? MAL: That’s been my policy so far. Don’t see any reason to change it now. SIMON: I certainly can’t argue with you. MAL: Not on my ship you can’t. JAYNE: So the bees’ll be sleepin’ like? MAL: Like baby bumblebees. JAYNE: They ain’t like to wake up or nothin’ are they? SIMON: Why, do they make you nervous? JAYNE: Qu ni de! No. RIVER: How many bees can be carried in a firefly? What an entomological conundrum. MAL: Anybody else got a comment on our paying job? Jazmine? You’ve been awfully quiet. JAZ: I’m just along for the ride. Fresh honey’d be nice. Any settlers on this ill named hunk of orbital debris? MAL: Nary a one. Unpopulated except in season, or so I’m told. SIMON: Summer people. Scourge of the known universe. I’ve been one, I should know. MAL: Agricultural season actually, but I’m sure you can get a sunburn and dress badly if you so desire. ZOE: Sounds like a long trip. Should I pack a book? MAL: Pack a library if you have to. I don’t want to hear any whining on this trip. KAYLEE: Check before we leave ‘cause he isn’t stopping for bathrooms either. RIVER: I like bees. Tamen xihuan tiaowu. They’re known for it. MAL: Well, that’s our daily ration of random. Let’s get dirt side and pick ‘em up. Unless there’s dessert?

Scene 3 (Loading crates of sleeping bees)

MAL: She ready to go mei mei? KAYLEE: Ready and waiting. Those old couplings might have held on another trip but they didn’t have to for a change. JAYNE: We should get paid more often. MAL: Jayne, is that box... buzzing? JAYNE: (drops crate) Da ziang bao zha shi de la du zi! (realizes they’re laughing) Ni hun qiu. MAL: Careful with that cargo, you’ll break their little frozen legs. SIMON: Or the cryo system, then they won’t be frozen anymore. JAYNE: (gingerly picking up crate and carrying it to be stowed) Go tsao de hun dan. ZOE: Never knew you measured bugs by the pound. MAL: Probably about half a million in your hands right now, way the man was talking. All right that’s the last of it. Let’s get in the air. (looks at cargo) Least we don’t have to hand feed ‘em. ZOE: Not as messy as cows either. MAL: That too.

Scene 4 (Dyton. Airlock ramp. Itinerants boarding. Ten, appear to be possibly a family, possibly not.)

KAYLEE: Welcome. Ni hao, xian sheng. Welcome aboard. Qhing jin. Hello ma’am. JAZ: (Falling in step with one) Oh, do you play? MAL: Lively looking bunch. KAYLEE: They’ve been traveling hard over a week. MAL: Got another three to go still. ZOE: Think they’ll make it? MAL: If not, search their pockets for loose change. KAYLEE: (shocked) Captain! MAL: That was a joke. They’ll be sleeping in the cargo bay, but QBG’ll feed ‘em up just so she can near kill ‘em with entertainment. Kaylee, get us ready to go. My feet are itching to move, this close in. KAYLEE: (exiting past him) Try changing your socks. MAL: Do you need a spanking? KAYLEE: Yes sir, Cap’n! (kisses his cheek on the way by and ducks out) ZOE: You want me to keep an eye on them. MAL: Jazmine promised to baby sit. It was her idea after all. ZOE: Who’s got night duty? MAL: She’ll probably talk to them all night. Every night. Said something about links in a chain. ZOE: She starts to show me the secret handshake, I’m leaving. MAL: Be nice, she’s arranging for work aplenty. ZOE: Seems sensible enough. Not the type for code names and such. MAL: Cloak and dagger’s not her style. Our girl’s more direct like. ZOE: She’s more the exploding miniature crossbow type. MAL: Full of surprises that one. Admit it, you want one too. I know I do. ZOE: So who are these people, really? MAL: Just what they say they are apparently. Lower on the food chain with an ear to the ground. Carry chit chat between planets. They’re meeting up with the rest of the group they normally travel with. ZOE: So you’ve got nights? MAL: I’ve got nights. After Jazmine’s done with ‘em. Which translates into about a two hour watch the way she jaws on. ZOE: She does love to talk with people. And feed them.

Scene 5 (Cargo bay. Simon playing Go with male passenger. Jayne arm wrestling another man. Two women fussing over Zoe’s belly, hanging pendulum over her stomach and arguing ) #1: Girl. #2: No, boy. Jack in the back, Nelly in the belly. (Zoe amused and over it at same time. Looks at Mal who shrugs then returns to talking to oldest male passenger. Jazmine playing music with two passengers. One male one female. Kaylee and River talking and laughing with three younger daughters.)

Scene 6 (Cargo bay. Night. Passengers on pallets sleeping. Mal watching over them. Jazmine comes to him, makes quiet contact, Mal takes her hand and kisses it, she trails it up his cheek, through his hair and slips away. Mal smiles.

Scene 7 (Bridge)

ZOE: (Wearing a truly awful printed mu mu and flip flops) So there’s going to be other ships when we get there? MAL: (Trying not to look at her outfit) That’s a certainty. Serenity can’t haul a whole crop or go in seventeen directions besides. ZOE: Like to be trouble? MAL: No telling. Way QBG tells it there’s a remarkable likeness to an ant hill just got dug up, then the place gets deserted just as fast. Pruning done, harvest in, bees to bed, gone. ZOE: Anybody waiting to lighten our load? MAL: Not unheard of, not likely. ZOE: But not out of the question. MAL: Folk don’t usually go looking for trouble this area. ZOE: Has a way of finding us on its own. I’m feeling a touch logy these days Mal. MAL: Shouldn’t be a problem. Anybody tries to board the ship you should have plenty of time to get your weapon and aim it. ZOE: Armor’s not gonna fit. MAL: (Gives up not looking) You look too fetching in that.. um .. whatever it is.. to shoot any old way. ZOE: Hideous tent? MAL: Looks roomy. Air circulation must be pretty good. It’s a very practical garment. ZOE: Still ugly. It’s the best we could do. My boots don’t fit anymore either. MAL: Did you know you have legs? ZOE: I figured those had something to do with my walking around like. MAL: Just don’t think I’ve seen ‘em uncovered before. Getting a bit um.. (gestures toward bosom) too. ZOE: Maternal looking? Mammalian? Lactiferous? Huge? Hadn’t noticed. MAL: Something like that. ZOE: Well they hurt’s all I’ve got to say, Sir. Back’s killing me, feet hurt, tired, ornery, crying for no reason. I’m just not feeling solid. MAL: I’ve been told it passes. ZOE: So have I. Doesn’t make it any easier. Somebody starts trouble I may not be up to speed. MAL: We’ll survive, don’t you fret. ZOE: Hope so, Sir. I dearly hope so.

Scene 8 (Copia’s orbit. Bridge. All watching approach)

RIVER: Demeter, large moon for a planet of this size. Tidal forces will be pronounced. KAYLEE: There’s that big mountain. Wow, it really ... sticks right out there doesn’t it? JAZ: That will be enough Jayne. JAYNE: What? I ain’t said a gorram word. JAZ: You were thinking real loud. SIMON: (twisting head around to make sense of it) Was that a volcano? RIVER: Erosion has laid a curve into it, but it does appear to fit the profile. SIMON: That must have been some lava flow. Centuries, do you think? RIVER: It appears to be dormant. The landscape appears stable, flora is not disturbed. No visible signs of dramatic erosion or recent pyroclastic events. JAYNE: Walkin’ cortex link’s what she is. (River sticks tongue out at him) KAYLEE: Ooh look! Water. How pretty. It’s all so green and fuzzy down there. MAL: All right, that’s enough sight seeing for now. Let’s get her landed. (They file out) You got our landing site laid in yet little albatross? RIVER: Affirmative, and I concur with your assessment. MAL: I ventured an opinion? RIVER: (nods) “ Right pretty”.

Scene 9 (Ramp, planet surface)

JAZ: Come on Mal, I want to show you some of the orchards. MAL: We’ll just wander off all subtle like and pretend you don’t know where you’re going, is that the plan? JAZ: Well yes, it was. Except we were going to take the mule so we could bring back produce. I’ve already arranged for delivery of juice from the vineyards on Cornu to keep Kaylee busy for a few weeks. By the time it's finished we should all be able to drink it again. MAL: Why not just take the shuttle and go wild? JAZ: Nobody can eat that many ripe pears. MAL: Not even Jayne? JAZ: Not even Jayne, Zoe and Kaylee rolled into one bottomless pit. And I am not canning today. MAL: Maybe we shouldn’t take the mule then. Might get greedy and end up in a world full of belly aches. JAZ: Could be heavy. MAL: We can stop often. ‘Till your arms aren’t tired any more. JAZ: (whacks him) No pie for you! KAYLEE: (coming up holding hands with Simon, both looking positively frisky) Cap’n, we thought we’d go visit the lake nearby we saw on the way down. MAL: Just be back by dark. You have her back on time young man. SIMON: A curfew. How quaint. KAYLEE: C’mon Simon, ‘fore Mr. Grouchy Dad changes his mind and grounds me. (They dash off) MAL: They grow up so fast. JAZ: Let’s go pie boy. I want to get back before the hooley starts.

Scene 10 (Lakeside. Simon and Kaylee resting under a tree) KAYLEE: Whatcha thinking? SIMON: Well.. No, no. KAYLEE: Come on, share.(pokes him) SIMON: Just how peaceful the lake is, how pretty this spot is. (kisses her) How pretty you are. KAYLEE: I’m pretty? SIMON: (touching her cheek) Shr ah. KAYLEE: Will you take me in a manly fashion? SIMON: As often as possible. KAYLEE: You’re a smart man. I like that about you. (They kiss) SIMON: So tell me about the courting customs on your home planet. KAYLEE: Well.. Basically the father of the bride and any brothers aim their guns at the groom and say “She’s about to deliver, now say the zi niu vows you biao zi de erzi. No offense Ma’am” That last part being addressed to the groom’s mother. Mother of the bride mostly stands around crying and making sure the bride doesn’t make a run for it. SIMON: Really? KAYLEE: Well, that’s how it was at my cousin’s wedding. There does seem to be a pattern to it. SIMON: So no asking for her hand, no matchmakers? KAYLEE: They’d probably faint, but I’ve heard of long engagements. Some of ‘em up to six months . That’s usually if the girl’s good at math though, and has a calendar handy. SIMON: Ah. KAYLEE: Why do you ask? SIMON: Curiosity mostly. KAYLEE: Mostly? SIMON: Well we have been , you know, together, quite a while. I find your company quite pleasant. River’s doing much better now. I just was thinking... KAYLEE: Just was thinking? SIMON: OK I’m doing this very badly. I just need a moment to get what I’m trying to say lined up. KAYLEE: I’ll wait. You take your time. SIMON: You’ve done an awful lot of waiting for me while I’ve gathered my thoughts. It doesn’t seem right somehow. KAYLEE: You get used to it. SIMON: Okay, I’m going to try this again. Kaywinnett Lee Frye you laugh at my jokes. You always have a smile for me. No, for everyone. You are the brightest star in the void. Bao bei you have made my life not only bearable, but worth the effort. You have so much to give to others and you just keep giving no matter how nasty, mean, and stupid they are to you, my own tongue tied self included. You make it worth getting up out of bed and even more worth staying there. I want to share that bed with you. Always. OK maybe a bigger bed eventually but.. KAYLEE: Simon, are you asking me something? SIMON: Marry me. Please. I want to wake up next to you always. I want to have little engineers running around breaking things with you. I want to tell our grandchildren how good you used to look covered in engine grease and how you can fix anything. Even make protein taste chocolatey. So will you? KAYLEE: Wu de ma, tien shiao duh. I was set to ask you if you didn’t get around to it soon, lover. (Through kisses ) Yes. Yes. Yes. SIMON: Would you tell Mal? I really don’t want to get shot. KAYLEE: That’s my big brave man. How ‘bout we tell him together? SIMON: Fine, but you do the talking. He likes you. KAYLEE: Good point. Maybe we should get him drunk first, put his aim off a little. SIMON: My almost wife the mistress of intrigue. KAYLEE: Still got a couple of hours of light left. It’s about a half hour walk back. Wanna get a running start on those grand kids? (starts unbuttoning his shirt) SIMON: Not quite yet. ( starts to unzip her suit) But we can have fun practicing. (Looks around) There doesn’t seem to be anyone around to critique our attempts at present. KAYLEE: Grrrr...(Flips him onto his back with much laughter from both)

Scene 11 (Orchard)

MAL: So you brought me all the way out to the back end of nowhere to try a peice of fruit? JAZ: I brought you here for what could be one of the most amazing sensual experiences of your life. (Picks a pear that drops into her hand) Behold. Observe the perfect blush on the speckled skin promising incredible sweetness to come. (Takes his hand and guides it over the pear) Feel the firm yet yielding flesh speaking of its melting readiness. (Holds it to his nose)Smell the spicy juices waiting to be released. MAL: You make fruit sound good. JAZ: Now taste. MAL: (Takes a BIG bite to find juices running down his chin) Omigoff, ai ya, mmf! JAZ: (laughing) Delicious, neh? MAL: (having swallowed)Amazing. But very messy. JAZ: Messy can be fun. But if you’d prefer neat ..( pulls pear away) MAL: (Reaches for it) Can I finish that? JAZ: Was it worth the trip? MAL: ‘S good fruit. JAZ: (Hands it back) You go ahead while I start gathering. If you’re a good boy I may let you try a peach some day. Only thing I’ve ever found that tops a pear. MAL: Only thing? (Pulls her in close and nibbles) JAZ: Well, maybe not only. MAL: Thought not. (Keeps nibbling) JAZ: Thought you wanted that pear. MAL: Changed my mind, I’ll eat it later. (drops it to pull Jazmine closer. They sink towards ground) JAZ: Malcolm, I think you just sat on that pear. MAL: I think you’re right. Oh well. (Rolls her over in the grass. Looks at her a moment as he runs a hand up her leg) My Lotus Flower. (Kisses her)

Scene 12 (Campfire near ships. Pickup band playing. Dancing, drinking, merriment)

ZOE: Last time we did this you got married. MAL: I’m not accepting any hats from strangers tonight. ZOE: Good idea. Where’s Jayne? MAL: Looking for someone to not give him a hat, I believe. ZOE: River seems to be having fun. (River dancing with several young men) Who do you think’s going to wear out first, her or the band? MAL: Even money. (Looks up as music stops) What’s this? (Kaylee and Simon, giggling drunk, stand up ) KAYLEE: Hey everybody!! We’re gettin’ married! (collective cheer goes up) RIVER: It’s about time, Doofus! (Band strikes up a Klezmer tune, dancing resumes) SIMON: Wait, weren’t we supposed to get Mal drunk first? KAYLEE: Well, we got somebody drunk. Too late now. MAL: Oh, renci de fo zu. Not like we couldn’t see that one coming. ZOE: (puts her hand on his arm) Mal, be happy for them. MAL: I am Zoe, I am. Doc’ll be good to her. He’d just better not take her off my ship. ZOE: No chance of that. She’d rather give up strawberries. Here they come, now you behave. MAL: (calls to them) Got something you want to be telling your Captain? (Zoe punches his arm) Ow! SIMON: (bristling) I asked Kaylee to be my wife. She accepted. End of story. KAYLEE: (Near tears) He makes me happy Mal. MAL: You sure about this, Doc? She’s a mean hand with a wrench when you get her riled up. You could get hurt. SIMON: (sees he’s pulling their legs) I can take her. Best 3 out of 5 anyway. KAYLEE: (relieved) You can take me whenever you like. MAL: Oh, I did not need to hear that. Come here the both of you. (Puts an arm around each) You’ve got my blessings, not that you need it or came looking for it. Just be good to each other and don’t mess up my ship. SIMON: I think we can manage that. KAYLEE: (Hugs the air out of Mal, gets an amusing squeaky noise) I love my Captain! ZOE: Be happy, the both of you. (exchanges hugs and quick pecks with both). Now go on and have some fun. (They scoot) MAL: There go the two least messed up people on my boat. ZOE: Give them a few years to really get on each other’s nerves. ‘Course we are talking about Kaylee here, they’ll be fine. MAL: I won’t cry if you won’t. ZOE: (staring at the fire) Go find your woman. Kiss her navel. Take her like you mean it. MAL: (Looking at Jazmine) Always do. ZOE: Good man. RIVER: (leading a snake dance) Come dance with us! (grabs them both and drags them along).

Scene 13 (Infirmary a few days later. Simon is bandaging Mal’s hand. Jazmine is daubing a cut on his face, his eye swollen nearly shut.)

ZOE: All I’m saying is you didn’t have to start a brawl as a way to say goodbye. MAL: Did you hear what he said about Jazmine? He smacked her too! JAZ: He said I had a fine fat ass. It’s a compliment with these folk. Much as you’d admire a man’s horse or prize cow. Flirting is a way of saying you have something worth the coveting. You didn’t have to hit him. MAL: Well how was I supposed to know that? Anyway, he hit back. ZOE: And almost stabbed you. And nearly choked you. What made you take on that sasquatch anyway? He stood near seven feet. MAL: I thought I was defending a lady’s honor. Mine in point of fact. JAZ: It’ll be all right. The nose gouging on your part was inspired. You managed to impress them with your berzerker ferocity. Nobody else would be stupid enough to take on Yuri. MAL: See? Ow! I impressed them. JAZ: Hold still you big alpha male. ZOE: You get yourself killed next time, I’m going to say I told you so. MAL: I won’t be around to hear it. ZOE: Still gonna say it. SIMON: There, done. Try not to hit anything with that hand for a week or so. JAZ: (Puts last cling on face, kisses it) All better. Gonna be some pretty colors there though. MAL: Let’s get going. We’ve got a load to deliver. JAZ: (kisses him gently on cheek) You were very brave. Thank you. Please remember next time: I can defend my own honor, OK? I’ll let you know if I want help, I promise. Deal? MAL: Deal. (kisses her) He was pretty big, wasn’t he? JAZ: Hu-normous. SIMON: If you two are done, I’d like to clean up my infirmary. JAZ: Come on, pie’s about done by now. MAL: (To Simon as they leave) If you hurry we might save you some.

Scene 14 (Dinner. Much laughter, empty pie pan. Zoe and Jayne fighting over the last bits, Zoe pulls her fork, Jayne surrenders) RIVER: That was delicious. Can we make another? JAZ: We should have enough left. What it really needs is a touch of cream drizzled over it. KAYLEE: Stop, I’m going to explode. SIMON: That was quite good. MAL: You keep cooking like this we’re all like to have to roll off the ship when we land. RIVER: What was that? KAYLEE: Looked like a bee. I saw a couple earlier too. JAYNE: Where? KAYLEE: In the cargo bay. JAZ: How long was that door open after we loaded the honey? MAL: Four, five hours, why? JAZ: Uh oh. RIVER: You may be correct, there were some swarms in the area. JAYNE: Swarms? That don’t sound good. JAZ: It depends of if you’re a beekeeper or not. River, how fast can you learn about hiving a swarm? (River dashes off) We should still have a few hours before they settle in and start building comb. I think I’ve got a couple of veils somewhere can be pressed into service. They should be pretty docile but, Kaylee we’re going to need some gloves( Kaylee goes to find some). MAL: Shanty, what are you talking about? Is that another one? What’s going on? JAZ: Stowaways. Swarm was looking for a new hive, smelled the honey, made itself to home. If we can catch them and put them in a box somewhere we can sell them when we land. MAL: If we can’t? JAZ: How do you feel about getting stung? A lot? (exits to find veils) MAL: Ah. JAYNE: I ain’t going near any gorram bees what’s awake. They make me puff up. SIMON: Oh. You could have said you were allergic. JAYNE: Make me swell, not sneeze. SIMON: Swelling’s worse than sneezing. MAL: Jayne, get to your bunk. Make sure there aren’t any bees in the room then seal the door until we tell you it’s safe. (Jayne runs for it). SIMON: If we can’t catch them we may have to keep him secluded until we can fumigate. I have epi, but I’d rather not risk it this far from a hospital. Could be the rest of the trip. MAL: We’d have to bring him his meals for nearly three weeks. Little less if we burn hard. SIMON: Three weeks of no spitting at the table. Do we have to tell him if we can contain them? MAL: I’ll think about it.


Sunday, September 17, 2006 6:31 PM


I really enjoyed these last two posts. Great stories! It is nice to see something going well for a change.

I cannot beleive you put Zoe in a mu mu. I laughed really hard. I wonder where she had her weapon hidden. knowing her it was there somewhere.

And bees in a spaceship. I will probably be haing nightmares for a week. I think my allergic self would be hiding with Jayne. I am not sure which would be more dangerous. Bee stings or being alone with Jayne for weeks.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 12:07 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER a mu-mu?!? there would have been a sight to see;)



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This is a setup.

Lonesome Albatross
Sniff sniff...sob. Teenage angst. Also flying bullets.

Love Nuns
Serenity returns to Copia. Mal faces the music. Half naked men wrestling.

Big Rosie
Back story for the 76th.

Come The Ressurrection
Fairly short (for me). He's baack!