The Best Deceptions: Ch 8
Saturday, March 18, 2006

Jayne/Kaylee... the Frye household... Serenity...


Really short chapter, but short is better than nothing, no?

Sorry about the long wait between drinks, people, this one wasn't talking for a long while.

Then it kinda did. Chapter eight brings you mostly set up. I won't make you wait so long for the next part.

Disclaimer: The shiniest dolls aren't mine, the ones with scuff marks all over 'em, (you know the ones, with the little blue pen marks on their arms and the hair that's just that little bit skewiff and toes that have been chewed by the dog), those are mine.

Rating: This one... G. Fluffapalooza.

Comments: Seriously, FLUFFAPALOOZA. And I'm sorry to leave it there. It just happened.

Feedback: Is my crack. Comment here or email:


Previous Chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.



Jayne cracked an eye open at the voice down at the end of the bed.

"I know, sweetie, I tried to tell him." Kaylee answered softly, her voice was light with laughter. "Now hold still a minute and don't wake him up."

"Too late." He growled, shuffling up onto his elbows. "How the ruttin' hell did you get in?"

"Jayne!" Kaylee hissed as Lilly giggled.

"Sorry, kid." He leaned his head to the side so he could rub his eyes awake, then frowned down at the two girls, sitting crouched at the end of the bed. "What happened?"

Lilly had her leg stretched out and Kaylee was in the middle of cleaning what looked to be a scratch of sorts. Their faces, as they smiled at each other, sharing some secret that made them both giggle together, heads leaning in to each other, their faces were so similar they could have been mother and daughter, not aunt and niece. The thought made him hold his breath just a little.

"Got stuck on the window." Lilly shrugged. "Somebody put a chair on the door and I couldn't get in."

The look Kaylee gave him then was pure smug as he let his elbows sag and he fell back to the pillow. There just weren't no way to stop the kid. He found that he really didn't mind as he waited for them to both finish.

It didn't take long and Jayne just smiled, not too big, not enough for anyone to notice, just a small smile when Lilly scrambled up the bed and crawled under the covers and was joined by Kaylee a second after that.

He just wrapped his arms around them and fell back to sleep.


"Gorramit." Large hands came around her waist and tried to hinder her as she did up the buttons of her coveralls. "Your ma just about makes my mouth water."

"What?" Kaylee spun around, caught between teasing and confused. "Jayne? Don't you let Daddy hear you say that."

"Huh?" He kept his eyes down as his hand reached out and tried to unbutton what she'd already done. Her hand batted his away. She saw his eyes widen. "Oh, hey, I didn't mean it like that."

"I hope not." She grinned.

"I meant that cookin' she's doin'." He took a long, deep breath. "I love the smell of baked stuff."

"Well." She slapped at his wandering hand again. "That's just 'cause you ain't been here when it happens and you don't know what it means."

"What?" He pouted and tried another tactic, bringing his hands down gently on her shoulders. "It means somethin' more than there's a party tomorrow?"

"Poor boy." Kaylee felt her eyes sparkling. "You got no idea. That sweet little woman in there that you love so much? Stay outta her way. That's all the warnin' you're gonna get."

"Your momma don't scare me, none, Kaylee."

It wasn't like she hadn't been expecting it, the way his little fingers slowly edged under the collar of her coveralls, followed by the rest of them in turn, until he had enough leverage to push the fabric off her shoulders.

"I'll scare you in a minute, you don't let me get dressed."

"Aw, but..." He hadn't taken the pout off his lips. "We don't gotta be back on the ship 'til tomorrow, why can't ya keep wearin' the dresses?"

"'Cause last night was bad enough, with the boys an' Joe makin' jokes and faces and sly little comments about the size of mosquitoes 'round this planet. Jayne, we don't even have mosquitoes!"

"Yeah." There was no mistaking the predatory gleam in his eye. That, and the way his thumb brushed over the hickey on her collar, made her knees weak. "But it sure was fun makin' it."

"Yeah." Her eyebrows challenged him. "See how fun you think it is when Mal sees your handiwork."

"Right then." Jayne swallowed and brought the edges of her coveralls together, buttoning them up. "Better get dressed."


“Jayne Cobb!”

He froze, his hand half way up to his mouth.

“Uh… yeah?”

“I like you, you’re a fine man.” Mary glared. “But that biscuit makes it anywhere near your mouth an’ you won’t be a man much longer. Do you understand me?”

Slowly, carefully, without making any sudden moves, Jayne lowered the still warm biscuit to the tray and let it join its friends. He smiled.

“It just smelled so good.”

“Don’t you try any of that go se around here, mister.” She pushed past him, easily balancing another hot tray as she carried it from the oven. “You don’t grin anywhere near as pretty as my own children. An’ you ask them how much I let them steal from the Christmas food?”

“None.” Joe piped up easily as he bit off a mouthful of dry toast. “Not a crumb.”

“None that she knew about.” Kaylee grinned from her place at the table.

“Kaywinnit Lee Frye.” Mary turned on her daughter. “You’re not too old to be put over my knee. I have sixteen people eating dinner here tonight and more than that expecting Christmas lunch tomorrow. If you can’t be any help, you can just leave.”

“I’ll be good.” She gulped.

Jayne curled his top lip, gloating at her. He didn’t see the hand that came out of nowhere and clipped him upside the back of his head, but he felt it and he felt the flour as it drifted up in a little cloud from the impact and floated down into his eyes.

“I certainly hope you’re not going to be hanging about causing trouble all day.”

“I’m gone.” Joe snapped up the last piece of toast and kissed his mother, giving Jayne a sympathetic look before fleeing out the door.

“Got a few jobs to finish.” Frank walked straight through the kitchen, he hadn’t even sat down, just moved without stopping from the bedroom and out the front door. “I’ll be back before the afternoon.”

“You better, Mister Frye.” Mary called after him. “’Cause I’ll have Kaylee change the locks an’ you won’t get back in if you’re late.”

“Lilly?” Betty asked.

“I’m taking Ivy into the bedroom and we’re gonna stay out of your hair.” She answered, quickly. “You won’t hear nothin’ from us.”

All three of the women left turned to face Jayne.

“Uh.” His brain deserted him. “I could…?”

“No.” Mary answered.

“Maybe with the…?”

“No.” Betty told him.


“Go to town, Jayne.” Kaylee finally took pity on him. “Go an’ wait for Serenity.”

“They ain’t getting’ here ‘til after lunch.” Jayne complained. “That’s hours…”

“Jayne.” Kaylee hissed. “I’m givin’ you an easy out, now go.”


He bit the inside of his cheek as he stood in the cargo bay. Then he ran his hands over the sides of his thighs for the hundredth time. It wasn’t the fanciest of all get ups, but it was his.

“You look fine, Mal.”

Oh, sure, fair enough for her to say. Hers was the fanciest get up. All silk and satin and rich burgundy reds that accentuated curves he was fairly sure he wasn’t supposed to be noticing.

“Well, you ain’t about to meet the folk of your mechanic, the same folk you promised to watch over said sweet mechanic, now are you, Inara?”

She didn’t even blink at the frantic string of his words, but a smile edged her lips.

“It’s not like you’re asking for her hand in marriage.”

“That’s funny.” But he wasn’t laughing. “You’re a real hoot, Inara, anyone ever tell you that?”

“Quite often.” She patted his arm. “I wouldn’t worry too much. If Jayne hasn’t managed to offend all their sensibilities in one week, then there’s certainly not a lot you can do that would turn them against you.”

“Oh god.” His face paled. “Jayne. I can only imagine…”

“Things sounded fine in their waves, Sir.”

They looked up to see Zoe and Wash descending the stairs from the cockpit.

“We landed?” He shot at them.

“Wait, what?” Wash looked from one to the other, his face stretched out in panic. “Someone’s supposed to be landing this thing? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Mal’s hand twitched over his holster.

“Of course we’re landed, Sir.” Zoe assured him.

“I’m sure you’re worrying about nothing, Mal.” Book smiled. “If Kaylee’s family is anything like her, they’re very friendly.”

Well, that was good advice for a perfect ‘Verse. Which, Malcolm Reynolds happened to know by personal experience, this wasn’t.

“Where’s the doc?” He glanced around. “Last thing we need right now is that girl goin’ batshit crazy on…”

“No bats today.” River popped up close by and gave him a cheeky grin. “Maybe moths.”

“Sorry Captain.” Simon hurried into the bay. “I was just looking for her.”

“Well.” He breathed in. “Guess we’re all here, then.”

And he pushed the button to open the door.


Coming soon: chapter nine and the crew's reactions.


Saturday, March 18, 2006 5:19 AM


Yea! On with the story! Everyone's so fluffy cute...what a nice way to start the day.

Can't wait to see the crew's reactions!

Saturday, March 18, 2006 5:27 AM


I was just checking what new fanfic had been posted here - and I find the next chapter of The Best Deceptions!!!!

Shiny - Thanks Jacqui!!!!

Short, but sweet - I'm looking forward to the chapter 9, where the crew get to meet Kaylee's family and see what's been going on between Jayne & Kaylee......

How will Mal react...... and Simon..... ??

I know you've been busy with other fanfic & fanvids, but please finish this one off too..... I just love it!!!

Saturday, March 18, 2006 8:48 AM


There's just something about a sneak attack upside Jayne's head! Go Mom! Just shiny, Jacqui! Keep 'em comin!

Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:14 AM


Oh yay! Finally another chapter for this! I'm wondering how many of the crew will have a clue just from seeing Jayne or Jayne and Kaylee together(well, besides River of course). Mal will probably have to shoot something! Hope your muses keep talking!

Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:41 AM


yay!!! can't wait to see all their faces when they find out bout kaylee and jayne!!

oh i hope simon does somthin stupid and eats a little dirt. don't really care by who... but...

anyways. love the fluff.. ah hell who'm i kiddin, i just love jayne.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:15 PM


Yay! *does happy dance*

I was so excited to see that a new chapter was posted, I actually held my breath while I read it. (Don't worry, I'm a fast reader. I didn't pass out or anything ;P).

Great stuff, as usual, Jacqui. I especially loved this exchange:
“We landed?” He shot at them.
“Wait, what?” Wash looked from one to the other, his face stretched out in panic. “Someone’s supposed to be landing this thing? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Such a total Wash moment.

More as soon as you can, juat can't wait for those crew reactions. It's gonna be an interesting Christmas dinner.

Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:16 PM


Ahem. *blushes* "juat" was supposed to be "just". I'm so excited I can't type straight.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 6:04 AM


Made for a most cheerful morning, what with readin' and us gigglin' over coffee and pancakes. A right fair way to start a morning, Miss J.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 7:59 AM


Aaaaah. That's better! I needed that fix of Jacqui fluff.

God, I'm loving this. I want to know where it goes!

More! More!

Sunday, May 28, 2006 4:12 AM


missus frye rocks!!!



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The Best Deceptions: Ch 9
The crew of Serenity touch down on Kaylee's home planet. Hi-larity ensues. Jayne/Kaylee.

Something From Nothing 12/12.
FINAL in the series. Kaylee Frye is out of time.

Something From Nothing 11/?
Sometimes you... oh, you all know what it's about. James. Kaylee. The horror, the angst...

Something From Nothing 10/?
Sometimes all you can do is make the best of a bad situation, sometimes you find you're better for it.

Something From Nothing 9/?
Sometimes all you can do is make the best of a bad situation, sometimes you find you're better for it.

Something From Nothing 8/?
More story, more backstory, the usual...

Something From Nothing 7/?
James talks some more, maybe his parents can learn from his example?

Something From Nothing 6/?
Nightmares, truths and comfort, oh my.

Something From Nothing 5/?
A little confrontation, a lot of truth, the usual.

Something From Nothing 4/?
Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation and, sometimes, you find you're better off for it.