BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

JACQUI

Something From Nothing 10/?
Monday, April 3, 2006

Sometimes all you can do is make the best of a bad situation, sometimes you find you're better for it.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2130    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Ten? Ten?!?! How the hell did it get to ten and counting? I don't know. See, this is why you have to STOP encouraging me. It only leads to badness.

Rating: G.

Disclaimer: Only one is mine, the rest belong to Joss.

Comments: Flashback-a-palooza. Nothin' to see here, folks, move it along.

Feedback: Love it, love it, love it. wily_one24@yahoo.com.au

Previous Chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and nine.

*** Chapter 10: ***

Laughter bubbles up from her throat and she can't contain it, just lets it flow up and out as she tries not to trip over her own feet.

"Daddy." She sighs when she can breathe again. "You ain't never told Ma that joke."

"Too right I ain't never told your Ma, you needn't either."

Kaylee hefts James on her hip as an afterthought.

"You ready for tonight? You're not gonna be late, are you?"

His fingers scratch at his chin for just a second, as if he's really considering, really trying to make a decision. But she can see the glint in his eyes, the warmth.

"That depends now, you and your Mama make that cake?"

She grins.

"Exactly how you like it."

"Well then, long as I get a piece, ain't nothin' gonna stop me seeing this one's first birthday."

"I don't know how much'll be left." She teases as she gestures to the spoon in her son's hand. "He ain't let that thing go since Ma let him lick the icing off. We'll be lucky he leaves the silver on it."

Her daddy laughs.

"That's my grandson, he likes his chocolate..."

It's funny, the things that stick in a person's memory. Kaylee will always remember the way they turn together, her and her daddy, faces angled up to the sky, twin expressions of confusion and worry on their faces.

"That's not right..." He begins.

"Ship's in trouble." She finishes.

It's hard and piercing and painful, her daddy's sudden grip on her elbow.

"Come on!" He doesn't give her time to think. "Run, Kaylee!"

"What?" She struggles to keep her hold on James. "Daddy?"

Her foot stumbles in the dust.

"Get up!" He yells at her. "Over here, to the Meers'!"

The Meers, her brain buzzes over the name, trying to find a connection, any reason as to why her daddy is dragging her over there. Something nags at the back of her brain, something about the first month she was here, the way her daddy showed her over the town again, re introduced her to everyone.

They have a vault in the back, she remembers, but that's only for emergencies. No one uses it for anything. There are several of them around the town, little hidden rooms. She can't remember if they were ever mentioned again in all the months since.

There's a strange whizzing sound and Kaylee turns to look at it. Her eyes don't know what they're seeing, a dark mass sliding down a rope, but her ears hear the sudden screaming and pain.

"Daddy?" He pushes them into a building. "What about Ma? Daddy!"

"I'm goin' to get her."

But it's a lie. Kaylee knows it. Her daddy knows it. She turns around to search for him, to grab at him, one hand clutching James and the other reaching out.

"Daddy!"

"You stay there!" He yells at her, but she can barely see him anymore, there are tears and other people in her way. "I love you, Kaylee!"

And then he's gone, lost in a surge of panic, and Kaylee is pressed back, pulled along and her body turns pliant, she allows herself to be shoved into the small room.

It's in the sudden silence of it that James begins to cry.

***

"Hey." She jumps when there's a voice near her, his breath rank and rotten. "You keep that brat quiet, you hear me?"

Kaylee nods, eyes wide.

"You shut him up." He shoves something at her side and waits until her free hand closes over it. "Or I will shut him up for you, do you understand?"

She keeps nodding, closing her eyes so she can't see anything. It doesn't help. There are still screams on the outside, the horrible, tearing sound of flesh and terror.

"This ain't a game, little girl." They're only whispers, but they feel like they're going to scald the skin right off her neck. "Those're reavers out there, you know it? They find us an' we're all dead, baby or not."

Dead. Kaylee's hand presses the cloth over James' mouth. Dead, just like her daddy who pushed them into this vault and then turned back to fight. James struggles for several long, excruciating seconds. Dead, just like her momma who was stayin' at home and too far to go back for.

***

"Scared?"

Kaylee hisses as her head is pulled back, fingers twisting painfully in her hair. She has to bite down on her tongue to stop herself from making any sound. Her hands cover the body she has scooped against her.

"Who's sacred, little girl? It ain't me."

***

"No, no, no." Becca's voice is little more than a moan as she shakes her head back and forth. Kaylee remembers her walking down the street with a younger sister. "No, no."

***

They all fall quiet and the hands slide away from her hair. Kaylee stands up straight.

"Miss Frye, huh?" But it starts again soon enough. "You're little baby Frye? Yeah, I heard you was back some time ago. So you ain't married to his daddy, then?"

She rolls her shoulders along the wall, twists them so that she can turn away and ignore him. It doesn't help, his voice comes, hot and sticky at the back of her neck.

"You even know who the daddy is? Or did ya just lose count? Was that it? He a town baby?"

James whimpers and twists against her. She hefts him up closer to her chest.

"Well, don't that beat all? An unwed mama?" Kaylee doesn't feel the finger that trails down her spine, she doesn't. "Loose and available. Two things I like in a woman."

***

"They're dead, they're dead, they're all dead." Becca whispers it over and over, rocking back and forth, she's been whispering it for hours now and her voice is getting higher. "They're all dead."

"Shh." Kaylee hums it between her lips, alternating between her and James in her arms as he gnaws compulsively on the biscuit she shoved at him from the bare supplies to keep him quiet. "It's gonna be fine. Shh."

"Shut the hell up." Whispers the voice behind her. "You're gonna get us killed, kid!"

***

"They're dead!"

"Geoffrey." Kaylee pleads. "Do something? Okay? You're closest. Calm her down."

***

"Anybody goes out there now and they'll be ripped apart, poked more'n a half price whore. They're not waitin' for food, no more, they've eaten. They just wanna play now."

"Please." She begs. "Just stop."

"They're dead, they're dead!" Becca's voice rises again, perilously close to be audible outside their sanctuary. "And we're next! They're gonna..."

"Boy!" An arm pushes past her and catches Geoffrey on the side of his head. Kaylee's face is pressed into the wall and she hollows her body to protect her son. "You shut her up."

Becca starts screaming.

There's no room in here, no room, and she can feel everything. She feels his body slide around hers, feels the impact of him grabbing Becca, feels the thud of Becca's head hit the wall.

"Aaiy-eee." Her name is a gurgle and a hand reaching towards her, fingernails scratching at the wall. "Elll-meee."

Kaylee slides down, her knees won't hold her up anymore.

"You shut up." The voice hisses. "You hear me, girl? Shut the hell up!"

James lies in the cradle of her thighs, head on her knees, and she bends over him, rocking back and forth. The faster she moves, the less she'll hear it, that strangled, garbled choking sound.

The shudder of a foot scrambling next to her.

"Aaiy-eee!"

Kaylee bends her head, pushes it into James' belly as they rock, his hands come around her head, fingers twisting in her hair. She's grateful for the sting of it, the feel of pulling, the tearing of her scalp.

Her fingers cover his mouth, fingers pressing his lips tight into his teeth.

"Shh." She hums it. "Shh, baby."

Fourteen, her brain tells her. Becca is fourteen. Fourteen years old, nails scratching at the arm that pins her neck to the wall and drawing blood. Fourteen, eyes bulging out of her head. Fourteen, teeth biting down on the hand that gags her. Fourteen, with little choking gasps.

Fourteen, and with a loud, audible crack everything goes quiet.

There's no more noise.

***

"He killed her."

Jayne didn't know how she kept talking like that, her voice not even wavering. He knew bigger, tougher men who'd cry for less. But Kaylee was just reciting the words like she was reading off a shopping list.

"Just like that." She shifted her shoulders. The last thing Jayne would have called it would be a shrug. "She died, asking me to help her."

A very tense, pain filled shopping list.

"Kaylee." He said it into the top of her head. "You did what you had to, you kept our son safe."

"And that makes it okay?"

He didn't have the answer to that, there was nothing he could say. There was only one thing he knew how to do and no way in hell was that gonna help Kaylee. He brushed the back of her shoulders.

"C'mon, I gotta get up."

But she didn't let go, she tightened her arm around his waist.

"Kaylee, please, you gotta let me up."

"Jayne." Her voice was low and he could hear many things in it, warning, fear. "Jayne, where are you going?"

"Just going. I'll be back." He inched himself off the bed. "'Til then? Our boy wakes up, you keep him in this shuttle. You hear me?"

"Jayne?"

But he was already half way to the door.

***

"How late are we gonna be?"

Wash looked at the charts in front of him.

"Won't be more than a day out. We didn't stop that long."

"Cap'n? You there?"

A small voice came over the com and Mal picked it up.

"Kaylee?"

"You gotta stop him, Cap'n." She said and Wash could see Mal cursing under his breath. "Don't let him do nothin' stupid."

"I got it."

They didn't have much time.

"Wash?" They heard him before they saw him. "Wash!?"

"Now, Jayne." Mal met him at the door to the bridge. "You calm down, do you hear me?"

Wash never claimed to be the smartest man alive, hell, he never claimed to be the smartest man aboard the ship. One thing he knew, one thing he knew well, when Jayne got that look in his eyes, he kept his head down and didn't make eye contact. Just looked at the controls.

"This ain't the time, Mal."

"Oh, now's the perfect time... I... Jayne!"

Wash braved a look back at them. He nearly fell out of his chair when he saw Mal being thrown out of the door, forced out by his shoulders, Jayne not even blinking, just pushing him out and locking the door.

"Oh, god." He turned back to the console and kept his head down. "I'm not changing course, you can't make me, I'm not changing course."

"Wash?" Footsteps echoed all the way up to his chair. "This thing have a pilot flight log or somethin'?"

"Huh?" That made him look up. "What do you want...?"

"April 20." Jayne growled as he sat down. "Tell me what we were doin'."

Then it clicked.

"Oh, Jayne, come on, do you really want to know?"

"I ain't askin, little man."

"We were..." The screen came to life as he pressed the buttons. "We were on Boros. Stayed two days. That was..."

Wash let his words trail off.

"Monty's cargo." Jayne's teeth gritted. "Got paid well for that."

There weren't many jobs they stayed on planet for, not many chances to have much time off ship. Wash remembered the little tavern they all had a drink in, even Simon and River left Serenity to celebrate a little good fortune. They'd laughed well that night, drinking heavily. He and Zoe had had some time together, just the two of them. And Jayne...

"Don't do this to yourself." He said.

Jayne leaned over double, his face bowed down over his knees as his arms stretched up, holding the console. Wash could see how red his skin was, saw the tension in it.

"You didn't know."

"With a whore." Came the answer, strangled out of a clenched jaw. "With a gorram whore."

"It's not your fault, Jayne."

It started as a growl, low and dangerous, then it grew into a yell as Jayne's muscles bunched. His feet lifted up and slammed down hard.

"Jayne!" Wash said again. "Listen to me, you couldn't have stopped it."

"What do you know?" Jayne looked up and Wash nearly flinched at the look in his eyes. "What the hell do you know about it?"

Nearly, but he held his ground.

"You want to know where I was when Zo and Mal were lying in ditches, covered in mud and bodies?" He had to control his breath. "I was on a drinking binge with my buddies from flight school. What a lark, great fun, fond memories."

The tension in Jayne wasn't lessening, but he could see a small spark of reason growing behind his eyes.

"There's nothing I can do to change what happened, Jayne. I wish there was. There's nothing I wouldn't give to go back and change whatever it is that gives her those nightmares."

Wash looked over at Jayne.

"And don't you ever tell her I told you that, 'cause she'll kill me." Jayne nodded his agreement. "Possibly with a pinkie. I don't even know if she meant her own. Just 'a pinkie', that's all she said."

Off track, Hoban, he thought, now is not the time for your lethal pinkie in a drawer theory.

"But there's nothing I can do, except help her through the now. And that's all you can do, too." He saw the set of Jayne's jaw. "And going back won't help her, either. She got herself out of there, don't drag her back just to make yourself feel better."

It was a long time before Jayne stood up.

"Thanks Wash."

***

Mal sat at the table. He couldn't think as the crashes echoed through the ship. Loud, consistent, even, they made him wonder. He didn't want to wonder. He was quite happy not wondering. Especially if that's what the answers did.

Simon, River and Book sat playing cards. He didn't think any of them were concentrating on the game.

Zoe came to sit next to him. She carried a pair of strong, dark goggles and a blow torch.

"You planning on renovating?"

"Yes."

It was a simple enough answer. Mal breathed in.

"I'll help."

They sat and waited for Jayne to leave his bunk.

***

"Jayne!" She knew who it was before she even looked up. Everybody else knocked before they came in, too nervous to take a misstep. "Are you okay?"

Kaylee had paced the shuttle for over an hour, waiting for him.

"I'm fine."

He stood there and his eyes said something different, something as hoarse as his voice, but she didn't argue. She just took his hands, carefully, and led him to a space she'd cleared on the floor.

"Thought we might need this."

She gave him a soft smile as they knelt on the ground and she gently laid his hands in the large bowl. The water was still warm and even as she watched, his blood spiraled up, branched out, leaked away from the swollen and split knuckles.

He didn't say anything as she tended to him and she didn't force it. Simon had brought her the supplies from the infirmary and she hadn't had to ask why.

"He still sleepin'?" He asked eventually.

"Yes." It was a quick answer, sure, like he needed. "Once he's down, he's a heavy sleeper. Just like you."

It was a glimmer of hope she saw spark at the corner of his lips at that. Then it was gone and he sighed.

"Okay, I'm ready." She swallowed when he spoke. "Ready to hear the rest."

*** more soon...

COMMENTS

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:02 AM

CANTONHEROINE


"Off track, Hoban, he thought, now is not the time for your lethal pinkie in a drawer theory."

Man, did I ever need that little bit of mirth amidst all the tension. It was so Joss of you to throw that in there, and Wash was perfect in that scene. Just the right mix of fearless and fraidy-cat.

I'm ready to hear the rest too. Hope it ends with that monster's gruesome horrible death.

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:12 AM

BOOKADDICT


Oh

Wow

Speechless

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:17 AM

ANONYMOUS


Nice moment between Wash and Jayne, though I think there is a typo - flight school, not fight school? But I like this scene, as it really rounds out that all of the crew are connected to each other.

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:26 AM

JACQUI


Uh... yes. Thank you anon. FLIGHT school. Heh. Though, you never know, Wash has hidden depths, he's a semi-muscular man. He could've gone to fight school.

With geese.

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:27 AM

TAMSIBLING


I am not a Kaylee/Jayne shipper by any stretch of the imagination, but your characterization of the big lug is making me change my mind, ever so slightly.

This was written with unbelievable tension and electricity. I loved the interplay between Wash and Jayne - that was priceless. And the pinkie theory - hi-larious. I want to hear the rest, now!

Monday, April 3, 2006 4:23 AM

BANZAIBILL


ROFLMAO! The "lethal pinkie in a drawer theory" had me snorting coffee out of my nose! It was so perfectly Wash, and such a perfect lightening of mood in the right place.

You craft your stories extremely well! Just Wow! I don't know if it's innate, with them coming out that way the first time, or if you think and polish them for hours, but either way, they're wonderful. For some reason, all of my comments to your stories have exclamation marks, and I'm usually not a "!" kind of guy.

Keep it up - we need some more badness.

Monday, April 3, 2006 5:29 AM

CASUALTY


"Okay, I'm ready." She swallowed when he spoke. "Ready to hear the rest."

I'm not sure I am though. I want to hear the rest I'm just not sure I'm ready.

I am not a Jaylee fan at all but you just seem to make me want to read it because you write so well. Thank you Jacqui.

Monday, April 3, 2006 5:57 AM

BRITCHICK


Another great installment Jacqui, and fab interaction with the crew, especially Jayne and Wash

thank you.

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:00 AM

ANONYMOUS


I've been following this story since you began, and I love it!! Such a wonderful story, though I'm a little afraid to know the "rest of it"

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:05 AM

HIS


She writes very well, pulls you in and makes you want more. I really liked the interaction between Jayne and Wash, to love someone and know that you can't fix the past that hurt them.

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:22 AM

ANONYMOUS


I've got to stop reading these before I go to class. I get these weird expressions on my face (sadness, horror, giggles) and my students think I'm really losing it.

I loved that it was Wash who helped Jayne out (again). Wash is really the only one on the ship who has any idea of how to deal with that sort of thing. I also loved that Jayne knew to leave to let out his anger. But is he really ready to hear the rest of it, cause I'm thinkin' it's worse.

p.s. I just *knew* that s.o.b. killed that little girl! Now what other horrible things did he do? It's really a little sick that I want to know that. I think you'll be single-handedly responsible for a sudden increase in psychotherapy around the world.

-squish

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:49 AM

ANONYMOUS


Wow.

It's all I can say.

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:50 AM

ANONYMOUS


You must love us as much as we love your writing, cause you keep giving us gold. This chapter was wonderful. The lethal pinkie in a drawer theory was perfectly timed.
Vena

Monday, April 3, 2006 6:58 AM

ANONYMOUS


Jacqui, this fic is fantastic! My tummy is all coiled up just pondering what there is left to say..

The parallel between Wash and Jayne's experience was inspired- your inventiveness never ceases to amaze!

I look forward to your next post..

Thankyou

Nina C

http://www.myspace.com/ninaclarkandkidcharlemagne

Monday, April 3, 2006 7:14 AM

HISGOODGIRL


Said it before. Gonna say it again. You're ruttin' amazin'

Monday, April 3, 2006 8:35 AM

ANONYMOUS


Wash braved a look back at them. He nearly fell out of his chair when he saw Mal being thrown out of the door, forced out by his shoulders, Jayne not even blinking, just pushing him out and locking the door.
omg jayne has the dumbest notions on how to fix things dont ya just love him

Monday, April 3, 2006 8:44 AM

GWENFREWI


I logged in just to post on your shiny fic.

I love this. I loved that Wash was able to reason with Jayne while he was on the rampage.

Only thought was, I don't think Mal would take kindly to being thrown of the bridge of His ship.

Otherwise, the darkness of the entire thing was wonderful.

Monday, April 3, 2006 9:07 AM

ASHLAN


Yay another chapter so soon!

i still kinda wanna see jayne go back and beat the crap outta that guy,serves him right after all.
you're an amazing writer, that's why we encourage you so much!!
can't wait for the next bit!

Monday, April 3, 2006 9:20 AM

ANONYMOUS


Is it just me or is this a repost of chapter 9????

Monday, April 3, 2006 10:23 AM

AYRAD


Beautiful, beautiful!
The scene between Jayne and Wash was powerful. I, too want to hear the rest of the story, poor Becca, poor little girl.
Just a month ago a little kid of 18 months has been kidnapped in Parma (one of the cities of Northern Italy, I live in Milano, I'm Italian). His abductors wanted to blackmail the kid's father asking a ransom of something like 50.000 Euros (not really a great sum of money if you think about it...). The little kid, Tommaso, was sick with epilepsy even had fever when they took him away. Until yesterday, his parents, the police, press, everybody until were hopeful to find Tommaso safe and alive.
They were sure.
Yesterday the kidnappers have been caught. Looks like they were even close friends of the kid's parents! Their children used to play together...
Well, those abductors, those monsters.
They haave killed Tommaso in cold blood two days after taking him. They hit him in the head because he was crying.
Poor little angel, so defenseless, so sick, so innocent. Killed because he couldn't stop crying.
Of course the country is in shock right now.
I would really see those people die.
As much as I would really see that son of a bitch in your story with his head ripped off his neck.
I hope he died really painfully.
Girl, go ahead and give us a rightepus vengeance for all the horror Kaylee and James have gone through.
Like it wasn't enough to have Reavers eating on your friends and parents!

Monday, April 3, 2006 10:26 AM

AYRAD


Ops, sorry for the typos...I usually write better English than that...I'm just so tired after work!!!

Monday, April 3, 2006 10:27 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Damn.....this is truly some dark and angsty stuff here, Jacqui....balanced with Wash's actions....perfect recipe:)

I too find it quite fitting that Wash is the one who gets to Jayne with his scaredy-cat reasoning....knowing that things would just be worse if you sought out the place of some much trauma for a loved one simply for revenge....marriage to Zoe is an important teacher for Wash.

I have to admit I am torn between wanting to know that Kaylee dealt with the cowardly SOB herself and seeing you write Jayne turning the motherf---er into a pile of ground round. Both have their advantages to resolving the big issue her....I eagerly await the results;)

BEB

Monday, April 3, 2006 12:07 PM

RAVENHAIR


Oh, I just realized that when Jayne left to go to the bridge and he told Kaylee to keep James in the shuttle, he didn't want James to see or hear him tearing apart his bunk so violently. *sob*

Love Daddy Jayne.

Monday, April 3, 2006 1:01 PM

ANONYMOUS


Damn, indeed! We wouldn't keep begging you for more if you wouldn't keep writing so well. It's your fault. More please.

/M

Monday, April 3, 2006 2:55 PM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


Ya know, it's just fiction-fabulous fiction- but fiction none the less. Until you read something like Ayrads comment. So Jacqui, it's up to you to give us the revenge we seek for stories like that. Stories where doing the right thing would get us arrested.

love your stuff, I truly do. You usually manage to make me cry, this time Ayrad did. Continue on!

Monday, April 3, 2006 3:40 PM

WINTERHART


How can you bear to write stories as powerful as this? It's incredible to read - just pulls on the emotions until they've no choice but to spill over *sob*

Your Wash is wonderful; just as brilliant and true-to-life as the rest of the characters. As many have said, the pinky-in-a-drawer-theory was very much needed in the middle of all the emotional wrangling :)

Can't wait for more, as usual! ^^

Monday, April 3, 2006 4:22 PM

RAVENHAIR


Jacqui, have you noticed that the list of comments are as long as your chapters?

You have everyone at your mercy!

Monday, April 3, 2006 7:02 PM

SAVAGEAMANDA


Wow, amazing once again.

As everyone else has said, the Wash/Jayne moment was awesome and totally in characters. Pretty intense stuff coming out of Kaylee though.

Edge of my seat for more.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 3:40 AM

BELLONA


you know that emotional torture? i think it's back

b


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