BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

BLAZESOLO

The Private
Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Cpl. Zoe and Sgt. Mal help a young Pvt. at Serenity Valley.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2156    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

The pain woke me again, I screamed and clutched my belly. From somewhere a soft, feminine voice said "Shh, everythings gonna be alright Private. I'm still here." Who ever it was I was thankful ta them for stayin with me! "Who...are you?" I croaked out the question, "Please I needa know." I took a deep breath as the pain swept over my body again. Would this Gorram pain ever end! I tried ta open my eyes, but the sun was so bright that I shut'em tight against the light. I grimmaced and she spoke ta me again "Just rest Private, the med ships will be here soon." she said as she put a cool rag on my forehead. "Here have a little water now." She lifted my head so I could drink. Ah the water felt as sweet as honey and cool as a mountain stream, but I knew it was just my imagination....OH GOD the pain again!!Ilayed back down and felt myself passin out...I reached for her hand..found it and held on ..I didn't want ta die alone!! Corporal Zoe Alleyne looked up at the Sargent and shrugged her shoulders "Well she's alive for now, Sir" Zoe said as she kept ahold of the young Private's hand! Sargent Malcolm Reynolds wiped his face witha dirty hand and turned away from them.He sighed heavily and looked at all the scattered bodies in Serenity Valley and wondered......His ears caught the sound of heavy engines comin over the horizon. The med ships had come, but they were Alliance not Independant.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:14 PM

ITSAWASH


Blaze, very good imagery here, Hon. Nice method of inviting us to know the suffering man although no name. I have always liked that technique.

Good job with Mal and Zoe too. *hugs ya. Keep going, you hear?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:49 PM

CSERENITY


hey Bs, make ya stories longer but keep going' its good gorrammit,lol good job did way better than me!!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 5:32 PM

SPACEFULLOFOBJECTS


Loved it Blaze, may dear. You painted a wonderful picture! I agree with Wash, leaving out the name of the injured man brought a wonderful element to the scene. Zoe's focus on this one soldier fit character very well.

Cheers!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 9:34 PM

AMDOBELL


Nice start, though the soldier is obviously a woman not a man. Where will you go from here? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Thursday, February 23, 2006 4:42 PM

SHINYTALENT


*hugs*
wow blaze, awesome imagery, awesome idea, i love it.
write some more ok?

Sunday, March 26, 2006 5:32 AM

BELLONA


wow...just, wow...

b


POST YOUR COMMENTS

You must log in to post comments.

YOUR OPTIONS

OTHER FANFICS BY AUTHOR

The Private Pt3
The continuing Adventures of the private. We finally know her name.

The Private pt2
More about the young Pvt. that Zoe helped at SerenityValley

The Private
Cpl. Zoe and Sgt. Mal help a young Pvt. at Serenity Valley.