Oppositional Defiant Disorder by Bytemite

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder

POSTED BY: BYTEMITE
UPDATED: Tuesday, February 8, 2011 18:51
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 7:57 AM

All I know is that doing nothing might allow something bad to happen. I want to research first, so I don't make things worse. And I can't do anything until I see their family, I don't have any means to contact them. Estranged and all.

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 8:02 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Good answer.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 9:47 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Rion, I'm sorry this thread upset you. Mental illness is tough to deal with, and the complexity of it all, and the treatments, are even tougher.

Quote:
Maybe indeed Van Gogh's mental health differences added to his creative abilities, I have no quarrel with that and I'm glad he was able to use that to create art. But it sounds like there was a flip side to it for him: What if he destroyed those paintings not because he honestly didn't feel they were good. Waht if he destroyed his best work because mean nasty voices were telling him to do it and the only way to get them to shut up was to comply? What if he destroyed them because he was under a heavy and horrid dillusion that if he didn't something horrible would happen? What if the dillusion or intrusive thoughts were so strong that the only way to get temporary relief and make the pain subside a little was to do it? What if it was a nasty compulsion? We can't know because he's long dead, but what if? Would you doom someone to suffer such intense pain just because you're against something (medicine) in principle? Just some things to think about in this discussion.

Absolutely right on the mark, and it happens.

Interestingly, a few "polls" we've done on mental health forums asking if people would choose to have their disorder just disappear if they could resulted in the vast majority saying they wouldn't...but without exception, every one of them who is a parent saying they wouldn't wish it on their kids. Thing is, it's so much a part of us that we don't KNOW what we'd be giving up if it weren't there. For all the grief it causes us, there are supposedly many thing that come along with the gene, aside from talent. Like we bipolars are usually higher IQ, more empathetic, and of course feel things to such a greater degree, bad AND good...

I'm lucky that I'm only Bipolar II. I don't know how I'd feel if I suffered the very real horrors Choey has, Jo had, or people like Van Gogh experienced. We discussed it a lot after we finished the polls, and the most common reason given was that we don't know who we'd BE without bipolarity, 'cuz we don't know how much of it is "us" BESIDES the bad stuff.

I can't obviously speak for any other mental illness, and I'm just guessing if it were schiz or borderline, ANYTHING they create isn't worth living with the symptoms. Like "A Beautiful Mind", who knows whether he would have chosen to give up that incredible intellect to be rid of the hallucinations?

Jo was an absolutely amazing self-taught sculptor, but here's exactly what you're talking about: She did this fantastic head of a woman, then in a manic episode, broke it up and tossed it in the garbage. I was absolutely devastated; and here comes her borderline--she blamed ME because I should have known she'd destroy it and put it away where she couldn't get to it! The combination of Bipolar I and Borderline made life virtually impossible for Jo, and were why we eventually had to give up and send her back to England. It was a horrific experience, especially toward then end when she got hooked on painkillers!

Jim and I were always terribly envious of her talents, and how they were wasted, mostly because of her borderline. We tried to help her for over four years, at a cost of almost $75,000 to us (because she was never able to earn for herself), and it's always saddened me that she never really improved. I did love her; and as much as a borderline is capabe of love, she did love me.

For a while Jo was determined to sculpt small versions of various poses from Cirque de Soleil; the ways they move their bodies are fantastic. She had dreams of contacting Cirque and becoming their "resident artist"...it was grandiose, definitely, but she actually could have pulled it off, her talent was that good...but she couldn't stay stable long enough to do it. Broke my heart; the ones she started could have been fantastic, but she'd go manic and put them away, then start another...she never finished even one.

Choey, on the other hand, is a heck of an artist. She's learned over the years how to manage her Bipolar I, is a recovering alcholic, and sells her art on e-bay. She's looking for a local gallery, and may go far, who knows?

So who knows about famous artists/musicians/writers who were bipolar? Certainly some suffered greatly, like Poe and Mozart, etc. I'm just grateful for what they left behind, tho' I wish they could have gotten SOME kind of help to ease their pain. Maybe there's some philosophical aspect that one lifetime counts X much, and a legacy of great talent counts X much, then one would have to decide...

My talents, like my bipolarity, are very small. I have many, but no BIG talent like Jo or Choey; they give me pleasure, but are of little note, so I can't relate to what others would choose.

Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
Contracted Agent of Veritas Oilspillus, code name “Nike”,
signing off

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 6:41 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Byte, sometimes I do talk to parents, but I only get their end of the story usually. I had the privelidge of going to my colleague's support group for parents of under 18 kids who have mental illness. It was interesting, I talked a little about my experiences getting it at age 13, of course I didn't go into major details about symptoms, I never do, to me my secret private business is very secret and private, I only tell people what I'm willing to let them know, I talk in vagueries etc. I'm helping with the child psych conference this weekend, I debated whether to help with it or not since I do believe that sometimes it is over diagnosed in kids. But I decided to, any parents who come to it are probably involved in the system already and I heard that there will be some lectures about things like whether kids with ADD really need medicine, are we over medicating our kids etc. We'll see how it goes, I may hate it or I may like it.

Niki, if I could choose to get rid of my mental illness I'd totally chuck it, never to look back at it. Its hideous and I don't feel it shapes me at all. I think some situations are more complicated, especially with touched folk, talented artists, things like that, it seems to be more a part of them in some ways, though I know they'd all choose to get rid of the unpleasant symptoms, but some wouldn't choose to get rid of the whole thing.
And then there's borderline PD, goodness that's a difficult disorder to mannage, I've heard that loving someone with borderline can be a really painful experience, you seem to agree. Where is Jo now? It sounds like you and your husband did all you could for her. Ugh borderline. Its not the talk about mental illness that upsets me, I can mannage, I work at NAMI as the phone woman so people call me all day long and talk and I help them. There's just such tense energy around this topic on these boards. Usually when I have a good cry it feels good, to let the pain out in a tangible way. Not last night, it didn't feel good then. Oh well, no worries friends.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 6:51 PM

DREAMTROVE

Riona,

Don't worry, this is nothing. You should see what it's like when we really get into it ;) But everyone here is friends anyway, we just disagree about certain things, this is one of them. But just wait until a wedge issue comes up, people will really shred each other...

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