Chapter 4: Icy Emotions

River was laying the cot in the infirmary, watching Simon work. As much as she hated coming in here, she hated being alone even more, and with the crew out and about on Persephone, this was the only place she could come to if she wanted company, even if the company didn’t seem in a talking mood. River could sense Simon was angry but she could also sense his loneliness. Over the past months she had felt his feelings for Kaylee grow and so she too was surprised to hear them argue so fiercely. She hated it when anyone on the crew was angry because she could feel the emotion so intensely that it hurt, but when it was her brother who was angry she felt pain for an entirely different reason. She had to resolve this, and quickly.

“Talk to her” Said River

“River, how did you –“ Simon stopped himself. Of course she knew, she always knew. “I don’t want to talk to Kaylee”

“You miss her”

“Yes, I do” Simon admitted. It had been two days since he had fought with Kaylee and the only time he had seen her since then was at dinner. “But I doubt she misses me”

“She doesn’t miss you. She misses Simon”

“Meimei, what are you talking about?” Simon asked. He was in no mood for her games.

“Ask Kaylee” Replied River

“Ask me what?”

Simon turned around to see Kaylee standing in the doorway looking stern. He cleared his throat and tried to rack his brain for something to say but Kaylee put up her hand to stop him.

“It doesn’t matter” She said “I just came to say goodbye before I set out with Inara”

“Goodbye?” Enquired Simon, puzzled. Surely she was only going out for a few hours and that hardly merited a goodbye.

“Yes” Said Kaylee, obviously trying to sound as calm and serene as she could “Inara has offered to let me stay with her at a friend’s house tonight. She’s going to see a client after dinner but until then we had planned to spend some time together. I figured it might be nice to spend some time with civilized people”

She emphasised the word “civilized”, nearly spitting it out. Simon was taken aback by her harsh tone. Maybe he had been too hard with her…

River watched the two of them stare at each other. The pain that was flowing from each of them almost unbearable but she couldn’t look away.

“Kaylee, I…” Simon searched for the right words. Sure, what Kaylee had said had stung a little but he could tell she only said it because she was hurt, and she was hurt because of him. Looking back to that day in the engine room he realised she might not even have been talking about him. Oh God, she might not even have know he was there! “Sagwa…”

“Sagwa?!” Asked Kaylee, incredulously “I’m a sagwa?!”

“No, Kaylee, I’m the sagwa”

“Well you got that right…”

“Listen Kaylee –“ Began Simon, but before he could continue he heard Inara calling.

“Kaylee?” She yelled, while still managing to sound ladylike “We’re going to be late, hurry up!”

Kaylee stood there for a few more seconds waiting for Simon to finish but Inara’s calling had broken his train of thought and he could no longer remember what he was going to say. Disappointed, Kaylee turned and walked out if the infirmary, leaving Simon alone with River.

“You are so fong luh” Sighed River.

TRANSLATIONS: Sagwa = Idiot fong luh = loopy in the head