Author’s Note: Hi guys. Sorry I haven’t updated. There are so many excuses I could hand you, the main one being I got writers block with the damn thing. But with writer’s block came another brilliant idea. Don’t get me wrong, the other story will and has to be continued, this is more of a funny side project to get me out of the angst blues, and it’s more for an acquired taste. I can see a lot of people loving it and a lot of people hating it, and that’s fine with me. I’m just writing it for fun. There’s going to be eight chapters. Each chapter no longer then eight pages, so it’ll go along pretty quickly. The plot is in stone and everything set up, so this sucker should be finished rather quickly. Also this is based off of the book Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Not the Disney movie or something else. He has to be my favorite author (I'm a little obsessed with this book) and I tried to write true to the book. Making the characters as much like the book's characters as possible. So for those of you who like it, like it and for those of you who hate it, hate it. Either way tell me what your think. You'll also receive bonus love from me if you can guess which character is which (just 'cause I like games.

I bring you the crew of Serenity in Wonderland!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Firefly/Serenity or Alice in Wonderland. I just like to take things that aren’t mine and wreck them. Ask my sister.

Feed Your Head Chapter 1 Through the Common Room Door

“Wu de tyen ah Kaylee,” Mal yelled angrily from the doorway of the engine room. When he saw her push herself out from underneath the rotating engine his eyes grew wide, “Don’t tell me that luh-suh piece ain’t been fixed up yet.”

“It ain’t exactly that easy Captain,” Kaylee enlightened while rubbing her grease stained hands onto the thighs of her coveralls, while giving him full, apologetic eyes. He gave her a skeptical glance so she continued, “I mean it ain’t a main important part of the ship, so you don’t notice it’s broken ‘til something like this happens.”

“Kaylee, the rest of the crew is reelin’,” he informed her, “Wash can barely pilot the ship ‘cause she’s shakin’ so much. Jayne’s show us his supper on three different occasions now. That’s how unimportant it is?” he questioned crossing his arms over his chest impatiently and leaning against the doorframe.

“The thing is Captain, that once it’s broken, it’s so small, that finding exactly where to fix it ain’t exactly easy,” she looked up at him with big sad eyes, “Best bet would be wait ‘til we dock, than get a new one. The kind Serenity takes is pretty generic, so you ought to be able to get one cheap.”

“Kaylee, if we’re flying through the big empty black and half the crew can’t stop hurlin’, then do you really think that we’d be able to land?” he questioned, he closed his eyes for a moment as the engine room violently shook.

“But it’s gonna take me all night to find the tear in-”

“Then take all night,” Mal argued back. “In fact I don’t want you getting any shut eye at all until that piece of fei oo is fixed,” the room shook again and he swallowed the acrid taste in his mouth hard.

Her eyes and her mouth grew wide, “Captain, I got up before all of you to check the-”

“Kaylee,” the captain whined, “I don’t care. I want the gorram part fixed on the ruttin’ engine by the time I wake up in the morning,” he demanded. She looked away, “Dong ma?”

“Shr ah,” she replied quietly and grabbed hold of a metal pole as the room jarred once again.

Mal placed a hand over his stomach, “How come you ain’t tossed your supper yet?” he questioned her.

She giggleed, “You know where I come from’s nothing but ‘quakes Captain. Its part of the reason Serenity broke down there, some pieces ain’t good at keeping together through the shakes,” she reminded as she gently patted one of the cool metal walls in the engine room.

When she looked back to Mal, he was unimpressed and she immediately regretted what she said, “Just pretend I didn’t say nothing.”

“I’m going to bed,” Mal said abruptly, “Rest of the crews likely sleepin’, or in their bunks at least. So don’t go lying under the engine, wouldn’t want one of the ‘quakes knockin’ it loose,” he warned her.

She smiled, “Ain’t no reason to be worried Captain.”

“I ain’t worried about you, I don’t wanna be woken up,” he told her as he turned. His face was gradually loosing its color as the ‘quakes began to worsen, “An’ you get her fixed up nice and proper by morning.”

“I will Captain,” she nodded in agreement, “‘Night.”

“Night lil’ Kaylee,” he answered stumbling through the doorway and leaving her standing alone in the middle of the engine room, the walls shaking harshly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A few hours had passed and she still hadn’t found the problem with the gorram part. It looked just fine as far as she could see, and she’d been over every bump, and cranny in the small metal device. It was only as big as a peanut in her hand, and there was only so many times, a tired mechanics eyes would wander over the piece before she had to call it quits.

The room was vibrating worse then before, all the pieces in it were shaking now as well, and even Kaylee felt she’d been shook more than a few times. Her brain becoming a little hazy.

Her eyes were growing weighty with fatigue, and her eyes were burning. Mal had told her to fix it by morning, and if she didn’t she’d get a mouthful from everyone for sure. But she was so tired, and surely a few seconds of her closing her eyes and laying her heavy head on the desk wouldn’t hurt anything.

The sought after rest didn’t come though, because the desk was shaking at such a high degree she couldn’t even close her eyes. Kaylee released a small unsatisfied sigh and looked down to the piece of machinery jumping all over her desk.

Suddenly over the noise of the metal groaning, came quick, deep hefty footsteps echoing down the hallway and into the engine room.

She cautiously stepped away from the desk and walked over to the doorframe, but hid behind the wall, just allowing her head to poke around the corner to glance at who was speeding down the halls at this time of night.

Simon greeted her, though a look of panic was on his face, “Honey?” Kaylee questioned walking around the corner and standing directly in his path, “What’s the matter.”

“I can’t,” told her, shaking his head and trying to maneuver around her, “I’m late.”

Her eyebrows knitted as she took in his words, “You’re late?” she asked moving her back against the wall so he could get around her. His hands had been guiding her that way.

“Yes,” he replied impatiently, hurriedly walking down the hallways to the common room. His mouth was purse and his arms were held stationary at his side. Another ‘quake ripped through the ship causing them both to slam into the walls and tumble towards the ground. Serenity lurched sending them topple downwards to land by the table in the common room. With a groan she landed less than gracefully on top of him. He said nothing as he helped her up and quickly discarded her as he walked to the other side of the room, to a small niche in the wall.

“Late for what?” Kaylee asked running behind him to catch up, but he was to fast. When she saw what he was looking for in the wall her feet stopped moving out of sheer confusion and all she could manage to utter was, “Simon?”

A door that she’d never cared to notice was before Simon, it was apparently what he was rushing to get to.

“No time,” he told her as another ‘quake hit, sending her tumble back into the hallways this time, and Simon through the doorway.

“Simon?” She questioned after a moment, but there came no response. She lay on her back in the hallway, her hands pushing her up into a sitting position. She shook her head, and tried to comprehend what exactly just happened.

After a minut when there came no answer, she stood up and slowly entered the common room once again, “Simon?”

A few seconds of silence passed until a quake hit the common room, knocking items off the counter and tables. Kaylee grabbed onto the wall to steady herself, closing her eyes while the chairs were shot around the room like pool balls.

Simon had obviously gone through the door, but why? What was he late for that was so damn important that he had to sneak away in the middle of the night?

She thought whether she should go after Simon, make sure he was okay, or return to the engine room and fix the part. She knew she should do what the captain had told her to, but she was never very good at arguing with her curiosity.

She moved around the corner and chanced a look in the door. Her hands moved up to her eyes as she rubbed them, before allowing herself a second glance.

“This ain’t even possible,” she told herself as her eyes stared through the door.

The door opened from the dank common room, to what could be labeled as an exact opposite. Through the door was a gloriously green meadow which met with an azure blue sky. An eclectic amount of colorful flowers littered the bright green grass as birds sung from above landing in the large trees that lined the pasture. The whole thing looked so surreal, like a painting.

“I must’ve hit my head or something,” muttered to herself. The scene looked so inviting. Like she could curl up under one of the trees and sleep for days on end, but the ship wasn’t gonna fix itself, and neither was anyone on it but her.

Another tiny discontented sigh left her body as she turned to leave, but not before something caught her eye. Simon was moving quickly through the meadow and towards tree line of the darker, less inviting forest.

Her eyes grew large, he wasn’t nothing but a core doctor, what was he gonna do if something got him in the woods? Her conscience began to argue with her as she held on to the idea of returning to the engine room. Until she saw one of the clumps of bushes growing in the bright sunlight.

“Those can’t be,” she spoke to herself as she crossed the barrier of the door and didn’t notice much when it slammed shut behind her, instantly disappearing. Her feet made a direct route to the bushes as she enjoyed the smell of fresh verdant grass, and newly watered soil.

Her fingers twitched with joy and a beam grew across her face when she realized that the bushes had actually been strawberry bushes. She giggled aloud as she plucked one of the ripe, ruby berries off the plant and placed it in her mouth. Savoring the taste of naturally grown strawberries which were literally extinct these days.

She spun around in a circle to take in the pasture. It was absolutely breath taking. She could find Simon, bring him back and maybe spend a few hours here before returning to the…

Her heart began to beat faster as another strawberry burst in her mouth. What happened to the door she’d come through? There was a clear path in the long grass which way she’d come, but the door she’d entered through was gone.

“It’s okay,” she told herself as she backed up into the bush, “Simon’s been here before, he’s gotta know another way out.” After her ears heard her own words she agreed with them more. Nodded contently as she swallowed the strawberry in her mouth. All she had to do was find Simon and she’d be home free.

Kaylee speedily began tugging the berries off the tree and placed them in her pocket. She didn’t know how long she’d be staying in this place, but now at least she had a good source of food.

Looking off in the direction Simon had gone, she wasn’t at all surprised to see that there was no sign of him. Taking the abandonment in stride, she began to set off down the trail he had taken through the forest.

The immediate coolness of the shade caused by the canopy of tree branches moved over her arms, but wasn’t bothersome, it was more relaxing. This place seemed to be absolutely perfect, Kaylee was neither hot nor cold, she wasn’t hungry or thirsty and her fatigue seemed to have vanished.

Looking down at the light brown path, Kaylee could see Simon’s footprints stick out strongly as the impressions were deep. A smile grew on her face as she realized she could track him like a rabbit.

As she ventured deeper and deeper into the forest, her eyes became trained on his footprints, using them to guide her around bends, through forks and even across a small stream. That boy must’ve been late for something real important.

With her head craned down staring into the dirt for some time as she walked, she suddenly felt the top of her head come into contact with something that had the same density as rubber. Her body flew backward, landing her on her back in the dirt.

Kaylee moaned and gave her forehead a wipe as her eyes slipped open a sliver. Above her was a break in the tree line. The sun shone brightly down, almost obscuring her vision, but she did see one thing. A structure that looked a lot like mushroom. A very large mushroom.

She scrambled up and shielded her eyes with her hand as she examined her find more carefully. It was indeed a mushroom. It’s stem round and fat, colored a paling beige. The shell of it however was a shocking shade of red with bright white spots.

How did mushrooms get to grow this big? The fungus that stood towering before her was only a little smaller than Inara’s shuttle.

A giggle escaped her mouth; it was funny that the companion absolutely detested mushrooms. She’d certainly hate this one, “I gotta tell Inara about this when I get back,” Kaylee agreed with her idea as a smile grew on her face.

With the humor of the mushroom fading quickly, she moved to resume following Simon’s rabbit tracks until she noticed that they’d disappeared. They led straight up to the monumental stem of the mushroom, but there was none on the other side.

Confusion clogged Kaylee’s mind a moment before she recognized that Simon could’ve climbed up the mushroom and down the other side, though she didn’t comprehend why he would if he was in a rush.

She shrugged her shoulders of it, and grasped the bouncy exterior of the giant fungus, trying her darndest to climb the thing. Her fingers gripped the smooth surface as her boots tried to dig their way into the stem for some stability.

Her grasp was so hard on the spotted shell of the toadstool that her fingers slid through and became covered in foul smelling juice. Her face cringed, but it allowed her the proper solidity to lift herself up onto the top of the mushroom.

Kaylee sprawled out on the shell and let out a sigh of exhaustion. She lay still for more then a few moments, regaining her breath and her momentum, knelt so she was on her knees and rubbed the rancid smelling juice deep into the thighs of her coveralls.

Finally standing and placing her hands on her hips victoriously, she took notice of all the ground she’d covered in such a short time. If she kept up her speed, she and Simon could be back before everyone woke up. Maybe she could even get the steadiness of the ship back.

Taking in a deep breath, of what she expected to be clean air, Kaylee was greatly mistaken. The air had turned industrious and recycled. It tasted like the air on overpopulated planets and smelt like the common room after Jayne had been smoking his cigars against Mal and the rest of the crew’s wishes.

Wincing at the disgusting taste she turned around, letting out a few small coughs, until a pair of eyes met her silently and uninterestingly as she looked up, they started her into falling backwards and almost off the mushroom.

“Ai ya,” Kaylee moaned as she sat up, rubbing the sore area on her back “You’re a mite scary when you don’t say nothing.” To her comment, the person replied with no words whatsoever.

TBC