BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

BOOKADDICT

To say goodbye
Thursday, March 23, 2006

Jayne centric pre series & post BDM. A series of four drabbles written for the Several_ways challenge at Live Journal. Challenge 4...Several ways to say goodbye.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2684    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

Parting

Her mistake baby folks called him called him that to his face. Riley never thought that, keepin’ her boy hadn’t been a mistake, not leavin’ with the daddy that was her mistake.

He’d asked her, more than once too, but she’d only been fourteen, frightened of leavin’ home, worried ‘bout her family. The same family that were so ‘shamed ‘bout her they sent out her out to the middle of nowhere to live with her grandma.

In the end she didn’t mind livin’ with grandma. The old lady loved her and Jayne, always looked after them, and made the rest of the relatives be nice. When she was dyin’ she fixed that Riley should marry a friend of hers, makin’ sure that Jayne and she were protected.

And they were for a few years, till her man died, leavin’ her and Jayne to be a team together, lookin’ after Mattie who was always sickly, keeping the farm goin’. They were doin’ all right too, till her family got themselves in trouble.

They were beggin’ her for help; relyin’ on her to get them out of trouble, save them from starvation or worse. All she had to do was marry the local squire.

To give him credit, she didn’t think that the future husband cared one way or ‘tother ‘bout Jayne, he just wanted heirs. But his mother did and it was she who ran the show. Lorded it over the rest of the population, controlled ‘em with a mixture of benevolence, fear and intimidation.

Jayne had no schoolin’, was slow, got into fights and was his fathers’ son. Her big wild boy would never fit in with the new family, wouldn’t be welcome. That’d been spelled out in a humiliatin’ interview with her future mother-in-law. Humiliatin’ and frightenin’. It seemed that Jayne’s daddy had infuriated the woman somehow and she might take her anger out on Riley’s boy.

To be truthful, after meetin’ her mother-in-law, she were more worried ‘bout Jayne’s safety now than she was ‘bout the rest of the family, ‘cept for Mattie. Mattie who was getting’ more ‘n’ sickly needin’ some expensive doctorin’. Riley didn’t know what to do.

She knew Jayne would never give up tryin’ to look after them. He wouldn’t listen to reason, arguin’ with her ‘bout her decision, tryin’ to think of other ways to help the family, kept urgin’ her to leave, go somewhere else.

Riley was gonna have to do somethin’ drastic, somethin’ that would probably alienate her boy from her for ever. She needed to protect him.

Carefully she made her plans. She found a job for him on a boat shippin’ out in a couple of weeks, made the captain (an old friend) promise to come get him if he didn’t turn up.

That done Riley waited till Jayne went out huntin’. Knowin’ he’d be gone two days she packed up his bags, wrote a letter tryin’ to explain, and while he was gone took Mattie and left.

Knowin’ her stubborn boy, she kept away for two weeks. She heard how he searched all over for her, punchin’ out his older cousins for what they had planned, spendin’ a night in gaol for it. Riley had to stop herself goin’ to him when she heard that, he would be so gorram hurt and shamed.

The gaol was the end though. When she finally went back to the homestead Jayne and his bags were gone. All that was left was her letter. Riley bent down to pick up the shredded pieces lying scattered all over the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks.

*****************

So long

Raising the butt of his rifle, Slim whacked Jayne on the back of his head sendin’ him tumblin’ to the ground.

As soon as Slim met the guy he knew he was onto a good thing. The younger man was barely outta his teens and slow-brained, but as a hunter and tracker, Slim had never seen better. Jayne’s weapons skills were way above average too, the things that man could do with a knife and gun, ya wanted him on your side.

He’d proved it time ‘n’ time again in the six months they’d been partners. This last job they wouldn’tve succeeded but for Jayne’s talents, thanks to him they were sittin’ on the biggest strike of Slim’s career, and he weren’t gonna give any of it up.

“It’s survival of the fittest Jayne, and that’s me.” His gun pointed menacingly at his erstwhile partner. The partner who was all set to give a cut to their employer, be all honourable like.

He snarled at the younger man. “Ya know what your trouble is? Ya trust people too easily, always looking to be family, do the right thing. This time the money’s too good to be dividin’ up.”

He was real sorry to be doin’ this, but a man had to look after himself.

“Goodbye Jayne, nice knowin’ ya.” He pulled the trigger and felt a heavy weight hit him as he fell to the ground.

Jayne had rolled over and shot at the exact moment he had – except Jayne hadn’t missed.

Now it was Slim lying on the ground his life bleeding out onto the dirt. All these months together and he never knew the man had a hid out piece.

Cold blue eyes regarded him as Jayne reached for the money. “Might be slow, but I learn my lessons well. Never trust no-one.”

*******************

Farewell

“Mama” two pairs of eyes looked at me “tell us ‘bout the mercenary.”

“Why ya want to hear that munchkins?”

“Wanna know how come we’re here.” My two girls snuggled up to me waitin’ for the story even though they knew it word for word.

I never hid from them what I’d been, how I lived, ‘n’ this was my best story.

“Hey girl,” he greeted me “Got myself a good score ‘n’ need me some trim.”

I grinned and threw my arms round his neck givin’ a squeal. My reaction weren’t fake, like it would be usually, I was glad to see him.

Growin’ up in a whorehouse and later workin’ in one I shoulda known better.

Never get involved with clients, was the first and most obvious rule of working in a whorehouse and most times I didn’t. But there were always exceptions and Jayne Cobb was one of them. Over the years he’d visited I got kinda attached to him.

He was a mite slow and a lot rough round the edges, but as a client he was ideal.

Didn’t just take his pleasure, or treat ya as if ya were just a body. Never argued ‘bout payin’, never hurt any girl in the place.

Never got close to anyone either. Lots of guys who we saw would get all familiar like, start gettin’ possessive over certain girls they liked.

Jayne wasn’t like that. One girl was same as another to him. He was kind enough to ya, just didn’t wanna care. Anyone got too close to him he’d back off and walk away.

I used to wonder what would happen if he met a girl or somethin’ else he couldn’t walk away from. I was sorta wishin’ I was that girl. So I asked him that day and his answer sorta stuck with me, ‘cause it was what I thought ‘bout myself.

“Think that day’s long gone girl.” He grinned at me in a sad way, “Don’t think I’d be a good bet. I done too many bad things, don’t trust no-one, always expect to be betrayed.”

I didn’t see him for a long time after that and then one day I spotted him lounging beside a fruit stall, swai as ever. I thought to go over and speak to him, maybe have a roll together, but stopped short when I realised there was a girl with him.

A proper girl, not a whore, pretty even dressed in coveralls and covered in grease. She said somethin’ to him and held out an apple, watchin’ with a smile when he took a bite.

Even from that distance I could see Jayne had found that someone he couldn’t walk away from, I sighed and said farewell to that dream.

But it got me thinkin’ that if he could turn his life round, so could I. Not long after that I met ya daddy then you guys came along and here we are… happy.

*****************

Amen

After he left she never heard a word from her boy, not for years.

She didn’t blame him; in retrospect she could see that her letter would have killed somethin’ inside him. Jayne would’ve thought she shared the same opinion of him that everyone else did, his own Ma.

Sendin’ her boy away like that had been for nothin’ after all. The man she’d married died three years later, leavin’ her with two more children, a collapsed empire and a mountain of debts. She and the kids wound up back at the old homestead again. It always seemed sorta empty without Jayne.

Always worried and wonderin’ about him, she’d written letter after letter, sendin’ them all over in the hope one would reach him. At long last an answer came, short, not much personal stuff, some coin.

Since then over the last few years they had traded letters back and forth, even sent gifts and such gettin’ sorta comfortable again. But he never came back, just like she’d told him.

When Riley wrote to say that she was dyin’, she hadn’t thought he would come.

She was shocked to see him suddenly appear in the doorway one day, blue eyes unreadable, bigger than she expected, covered with weapons, strong, tough, a hard-case, not carin’ ‘bout nothin’ or no-one.

But maybe she was mistaken ‘bout that, it appeared he did care for someone, ‘cause by his side stood a girl and Jayne was holdin’ onto her hand like it was a lifeline.

“Ma, this is Kaylee.” Her boy’s voice was all manner of proud when he introduced her.

The girl was all warmth and love, direct and strong, carin’ and hopeful. Sat with her day after day, helpin’ with the nursin’, keepin’ Jayne, wild as ever, on an even keel.

The rest of the crew visited as well, they hadn’t just left Jayne and gone off. Showed they was real friends, a family. They were an odd group but she liked them, she was glad her boy had found a home.

The doctor checked on her every day and the time came when he raised his eyes and looked at Kaylee who left the room quickly.

“My last day is it doc?” Riley had already guessed it, her breathin’ was worse ‘n’ she kept fadin’ in and out.

“Yes ma’am I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry boy, so long as I get to talk to Jayne before I go.”

He came and sat for a long time, holdin’ her hand, Kaylee by his side. The girl never left him alone for long, givin’ him her strength and love.

“I’m sorry Jayne for the way I did things, should never have hurt ya that way.”

“Don’t matter no more, I got over it.”

“Be that as it may, I shoulda said good-bye properly, told ya that I love ya.” Her voice sounded far away even to herself. “I did ya know, I do still, will always.”

“I know Ma that ya love me, did what was best.” She thought he had tears in his eyes.

Jayne picked her up strong arms hugging her to his body; Kaylee standing with her hand on his shoulder. “Bye Ma, love ya.”

.

COMMENTS

Thursday, March 23, 2006 1:16 AM

REAVERMAN


Very good. Kinda sad, but I too am a huge fan of Jayne-centric stuff, and I love it when people show how Jayne became the hardass mercenary that he is. Great work bookaddict, it was definitely worth reading.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 4:24 AM

MAGHAFFAR


Man, that's some good word-slingin'... Y'know yer stuff.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 6:06 AM

GUENEVER


OOh, melancholy. Wonderful thread.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 6:21 AM

RAVENHAIR


*sniff*

Lovely work. I love how the Jaylee part slides right in there from someone else's point of view.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 9:39 AM

MAL4PREZ


double *sniff*

That was fantastic. Super sad, but... wow. Believeable Jayne background, and really touching!

Thursday, March 23, 2006 4:57 PM

CANTONHEROINE


Nice one, bookaddict. I truly love the way you write Jayne; you don't skip over his faults and foibles, yet you always manage to imbue him with that tiny bit of softness that we all adore.

Sweet and sad, in equal parts. Wonderful.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 12:42 AM

BELLONA


i love the way you explain how jayne got to be the way he is. and the fact that he helped someone change their life for the better.

b


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