Happy Birthday, Lizzy!

Pairing- Simon/Kaylee, Unrequited Jayne/Kaylee

Rating- PG13 for language

Story set to and based off of “Mr. Golden Deal” by Tonic.

Mr. Golden Deal

Jayne drained yet another bottle. He was wasting all of the money he’d been saving for that new gun, but that didn’t mean a gorram thing right now. A few rough lookin’ customers were staring at him in open awe. The fact that the merc could put away that much liquor and stay on his feet was something of an amazement. The bartender was a lil pipsqueak of a man, but he managed to summon up the gumption to speak to him. “Sir, I’d say that you’ve had enough,” he said softly. Jayne gave a half smile. “If’n it was enough, I wouldn’t be still thinkin’ straight. Give me another one. Hell, I’ll buy her one, too,” he told the man gesturing to the whore across the room. She’d been givin’ him the eye all night.

The bartender only nodded, and pulled a fresh bottle from beneath the bar. Jayne didn’t wait for him to pour a shot. He snatched the bottle, and hauled it to his lips.

Mal hadn’t said a word when he’d said he wasn’t comin’ to the service. Guess the Captain knew it was askin’ too damn much. Seein’ Kaylee in white was just too much. He’d caught a glimpse of her in the kitchen last night tryin’ on her dress to show Inara, River, and Zoe. She looked beautiful. Knew he shouldn’t, but Jayne had just stood there for a moment watching her twirl in the frilly thing that Mal had bought her. It felt like the gorram reavers were tearing at his chest.

“Shoulda been me,” he mumbled to no one in particular.

By now, the whore had made her way up to him. “Lookin’ for some company tonight?”

He shook his head. “You ain’t the one.”

“You could pretend if you like. I don’t mind,” she told him coyly. “I bet she’s pretty.”

Jayne took another drink. “Prettier than most, not so pretty as others.”

The whore was beginning to show her frustration. “Musta been somethin’ about this one that got you drinkin’.”

Alcohol had loosened Jayne’s tongue a bit. “She’s a real good person. Sweet. Kinda innocent. Girl has a way about her. Ida killed any man that even thought about lookin’ at her wrong. She got herself a citified pretty boy, and there ain’t been no changin’ her mind since. Went and married him today.”

“I can make you feel better,” she offered.

Jayne took a long look at the whore. She was really somethin’. Tall, blonde, real nice tits. If he’d not been thinkin’ about Kaylee so much, he’da been across that room in a blink, and upstairs in two. As it was, he couldn’t summon up the will to do it. The whore wasn’t Kaylee. “Not tonight.”

She didn’t say anything as she turned on her heel. No doubt she’d find a mark tonight easy as can be. The good lookin’ ones always did. Hell, didn’t take long for Inara to have Mal sniffin’ round her skirts. ‘Course she was too uppity to call herself a whore, and now she’d even got Mal holdin’ his tongue on that front. He’d heard Inara telling Kaylee that she could tell Jayne wasn’t nothin’ but trouble. After that, Kaylee’d kinda stayed back from him a bit. He’da liked to dump that prissy bitch out the airlock. Yet there weren’t no denyin’ that the doc had got Kaylee from the first shot.

The time he’d laid eyes on that little dandy he’d wanted to break his pretty face. He knew that one would cause them hell. Him and his sister had cost the crew too damn much over the years. Mal had only let them stay cause the doc patched Kaylee up after she got shot, but he didn’t seem to be payin’ no mind to why she took the bullet in the first place. Mal shoulda let Jayne do his work on him for just that alone. No, that doc hadn’t been a gorram thing but trouble.

And Jayne wasn’t blind to what the little fuck had been doin’ to hurt Kaylee all that time neither. She’d cried her heart out more times than he could count on account of the doc. She always hid in the engine room, but Jayne was smart enough to know. More’n anything, he’d wanted to tell her somethin’ to make her quit cryin’ but he didn’t know what to say for somethin’ like that. He never did have a way with words. Still, he did his best to watch out for her. T’wasn’t right that she was with a man who made her cry. What did the doc have that made her go so damned crazy besides a pretty boy face and a fancy education? Even she had to know that he’d never really care about nothin’ but his crazy sister. Doc didn’t love her the way he should.

The doc didn’t love Kaylee the way Jayne did.

“I’d say that you’ve had enough.” This time the words were full of authority.

Jayne turned toward the voice. “Go to hell, Mal.”

The Captain was still wearing his only suit, and he took the bottle away from Jayne’s clumsy reach. “How long you been here?”

“I ain’t goin’ with you when you pull outta here,” Jayne said ignoring Mal’s question.

“Don’t much like it myself, but things have changed on the boat,” Mal admitted.

“The money ain’t good enough anymore, Mal.”

Hard blue eyes stared straight at him. “And how much money would it take for you to stay on?”

“You ain’t got that much,” Jayne scoffed. He didn’t care what the captain thought, he managed to grab the bottle back. Downing the amber liquid in one long drink, he felt the edges of the world soften just a bit. For an instant, he thought he saw pity in Mal’s eyes, but knew that was just horseshit.

“If you got your mind made up, I ain’t gonna say nothin’ to try and change it. I have to say that I will miss havin’ you around. You came in handy a time or two. Can’t say I’ll miss the conversation none, though.” Mal let out a short laugh.

A short time—or however long it was—later, Jayne felt himself being drug off of the bar stool, but two strong bodies. He wanted to fight them. Tell them to mind their own gorram business, but he didn’t have it in him right then. The night air sobered him up a bit when they left the bar, and he tried to lift himself out of their grasp, but Zoe and Mal were too strong. They half dragged, half carried him to Serenity.

In the dim light of the ship, Jayne thought he saw Kaylee tiptoeing back to Simon’s—and now her bunk. He heard her girlish laughter followed by the doc’s voice. Even in his drunken state, Jayne knew he’d never be able to stay on board now.

He let Zoe and Mal, haul him into bed and pull his boots off. The last thing he thought before falling asleep was that it should have been him in that bunk with Kaylee.

MR. GOLDEN DEAL by Tonic

Swallow your pride Make way for the new bride Holding your tongue When they call another winner Oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal Tell me how does she feel

She's like the wind That boy couldn't sail He says I've washed these decks for years I've carried those pails And oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal Tell me how does she feel Does she hold you in the night Does she tell you everything's gonna be alright Hey Mr. Golden Deal How does she feel

Captain oh my captain Steer the first mate true The men they sing a song of fear Ghosts of ships who failed before And the captain he is laughing You can't control the sea She will always do as she pleases It's her nature to be free And oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal Tell me how does she feel Do you hold her in the night Do you tell her everything's gonna be alright Hey Mr. Golden Deal I know how you feel Oh, I know Hey Mr. Golden Deal How does she feel