BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ADVENTURE

JDUBASHI

Aftermath
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

After the movie...


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1585    RATING: 6    SERIES: FIREFLY

I know it sucks, but please read, its my first.

Parliament Member Atris Remtoya allowed himself a smile as he worked on his desk. His aide looked up quizzically. Remtoya never smiled. In fact, he had a reputation for never smiling, even when he was happy. If the aide knew the truth, his blood would have run cold. For you see, Atris was a strange man who had strange pleasures. He had been an alliance Torturer during the days of the War, and had taken delight in keeping people alive while causing them extreme pain. His prowess at extracting information had helped him win appointment to parliament. His smile widened as he thought of all the power he had held, and all the pain he caused. But as his thoughts moved up to the near present, his smile turned into a scowl. His aide quickly excused himself, muttering some excuse about needing to copy a report or something. He was right to do so. Seeing Remtoya in a fit of rage was not a needed experience. The anger inside Atris was not spontaneous; it had been fed by a fire. A fire that had started the day the police had come to his office to inform him and his compatriots that an investigation for covering up a disaster that had occurred on a colony. He had investigated himself, and the day he found out who had exposed him, who had destroyed his life and his career, he swore revenge. He would enact revenge on those who had exposed him. He swore on the death of his parents that he would make the crew of Serenity pay for what they had done to him!

--------------------- “Well, crew, I think that we’ve had enough time for self-recrimination,” said Captain Malcolm Reynolds in a firm voice, “We’ve been mourning Wash and Shepard for over three months. We the ship is in disrepair, we’re running out of money, and we need a job and some cash to re-establish ourselves. Now I want some options. We’ve waited too long, and I don’t want to see this ship as si shen space trash. Does anyone have any gorram ideas? No one spoke for about thirty seconds, then Zoe, the first mate spoke up. “Sir, most of our contacts have been killed, we need to find jobs ourselves. And quite frankly I think that no one is going help people who people of parliament have personal vendettas against.” “I know that Zoe but I…” He trailed off after Kaylee, the ships mechanic, raised her hand. “Captain, I agree with Zoe. There ain’t any of our old contacts who’ll offer us jobs, but what about you and Zoe’s army friends. There has got to be some independents that would help us. Right…?” She trailed off, looking unsure of her statement. “Kaylee’s right, everybody. There ain’t a power in the ‘verse that’ll put back our old contacts, but I think one of my old army buddy’s might help me. Name’s Xue Chen, on the moon of Adelanto. He runs a supply depot out of that place, weapons, parts, you name it, and we could patch up Serenity, and maybe arm her.” said Mal, his old demeanor returning. “I --” said Jayne, but he was interrupted by Mal. “Jayne, if it’s violent, you like it. I’ve learned that the day I met you,” said Mal, “Simon, River, any objections?” The pair shook their head, they had no objections. Mal wasn’t surprised. Being the former top-level fugitives, they really went where the ship went. Mal now turned to the last member of their crew, the one whose appointments made the most havoc with their schedule. “Inara does your companioning play havoc with our schedule,” He said in a mock secretary voice. She smiled sweetly, and replied, “Mal, you know I haven’t had any clients since I got on this hunk of go se-“ “Don’t call her that!” yelled Kaylee, her voice suddenly angry at the defamation of her favorite thing in the world. “Kaylee, I know you are a strong advocate for Serenity, but Inara and I are having a pleasant conversation, so please stay out of it,” said Mal in a firm voice. Kaylee slumped back into her seat, glaring fiercely at both Mal and Inara. “Mal, what do you think I’m going to do. Go back to the training house and be arrested, or go to Ariel and be executed? I’m staying on the ship” said Inara in a what-do-you-think voice. “Fine, I’ll go up to the cockpit and set a course for Adelanto; that is if no objects going to a planet where we’re wanted men. And women.” said Mal. “Luckily, Adelanto is far removed from the rest of the ‘verse that we’re likely to be attacked by less than ten roving bands of bounty hunters. What a treat!” and with that sarcastic statement he turned and walked up the stairs. About an hour later, he walked up to Zoe, who was sitting in the dining room, just staring at the table. Mal was worried about her. Ever since Wash died, she had become quiet but extremely reckless. She really didn’t think before doing much now. Mal was worried that he might find his first mate dangling from the ceiling by a rope any day now. He didn’t want to disturb her, but there was something he had to say. He walked up to her and took a seat. “Zoe, I don’t want to disrespect Wash, but if Serenity don’t get herself a pilot real quick, we’re gonna find ourselves with alliance mercs over our backside. Wash knew how to get away from them, and we need someone like that. You know I chose Adelanto because all the pilots gather there, and I have a friend who could help us.” Mal let that statement hang in the air, and watched as Zoe responded. “Mal, thanks for not revealing your true reason for going to Adelanto, thank you for respecting Wash. I just need some more time to get used to his being gone.” With that, she stood up, muttered a few words of thanks to Mal, and walked slowly back to the bunk area. Mal knew she was trying to get over Wash’s death, but he knew that it would take a while, and she would never fully recover. Wash had been her other half, he was funny, humorous, she was serious and meditative. They couldn’t have been more different, but they couldn’t have loved each other more. With that thought of the old days, Mal got up and walked to the cockpit to take the place that he had always hoped would have been filled by Wash, the pilot’s seat. As Serenity turned and went to full burn, something else was happening out by the desolate colony of Haven. Many dozens of ships were moving silently above the planets surface. They were all painted red and black. Most had skeletons and icons of their conquests spread across the hull. Without any radio communications at all, they group of starships formed up and sped away from the planet. If anyone at all had been watching, they would have been praying for their lives. In Serenity’s lounge area, Simon and Kaylee had been chatting enthusiastically about the ships modifications. “It might be nice to have some weapons on the ship. We could actually make do on our threats for once.” Kaylee laughed. “Making do on our threat is as easy as releasing Jayne on them.” Said Simon. “I heard that!” Said Jayne. He sat down with a bundle of weapons and started to clean them as Mal walked in. “Well, I set course for Adelanto and—Jayne, are you cleaning them guns for the third time today.” Asked Mal in an incredulous voice. “No, I ain’t that crazy about my weapons!” said Jayne. Mal turned away trying to hide the smirk on his face, Simon and Kaylee turned away as well. “No, this isn’t the third time, smartass,” said Jayne, “This is the third group. I clean them in three groups.” River walked into the room, sat down at the table and started to eat an apple. Jayne eyed her suspiciously, and stared warily at the knife at her side. “You sure you ain’t gonna go berserk and slash me up again?” said Jayne. “Well she—“Simon started to say, but River cut him off. “Don’t worry Jayne. I’m normal now. Miranda was the secret that tore up my brain. Was the worst one I got from the mean men? Now it’s released, my brain is at peace. I won’t be slashing anyone but my enemies.” Said River, with a little bit of her old self in her voice. --- Atris looked up from his book to a soft noise that issued from his console. Examining the panel, he found that Serenity had just gone into full burn and would reach Adelanto in about two hours. He looked around and noticed that his gunships were still hovering around, as sharp sentinels. “Captain, call in the gunships. They’ve been out for the whole day, they deserve rest.” said Atris. The soldier responded with a tip of his head and pushed a few buttons. Atris smiled and allowed himself to continue reading his book. He smiled as he thought of what would happen to Serenity when he caught them.

--- With a blast of yellow flame, Serenity burst into orbit above Adelanto. Down on the surface, only three settlements could be seen, small circles of grey against an immense background of brown. Even though the planet was home to only 2 million people, the space above was a bustling expanse of ships and stations. None of Serenity’s crew was enjoying the scenery, however. All of the crew was clustered around in Inara’s shuttle, staring at her computer screen. “Well, Mal, it was just a matter of time before one of those gorram parliament members you exposed went after you. I just got a wave from one of my past clients, an Alliance officer. Supposedly, a Parliament member, Atris Remtoya has jumped ship from Ariel and his on the loose, with a heavily armed special yacht, and an escort of about six gunships, probably crewed by diehards.” Inara paused to take a deep breath, then continued. “He left a message. I couldn’t get the full video, but the basic point was, Mal and his crew will die.” Inara finished. No one in the room spoke for a moment. Kaylee looked stunned. Mal and Zoe just looked on with serious faces. Simon and River looked like they always did. And Jayne-. “Jayne, why the gorram are you are you smiling?!” said Mal. “Aw, come on Mal, Its been weeks since I’ve fired my guns, I need some fighting.” Said Jayne. “Fine, get us killed you chun zi.” Mal then turned his attention to Zoe. “Zoe, stay with the ship. I’ll take Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon down to the surface for parts.” With that statement Mal turned and left the room. With a few looks around, Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon turned to follow him. As the ship landed, the forward ramp came down, and Mal and his group leapt off and strode for the city. The entered a small Restaurant. Mal turned to address his crew. “Alright, there a couple of things Serenity needs, here’s how we’re gonna get them. Jayne, go off, and fill up on weapons and ammo. We can’t find ship board weapons on this planet, we can find them later. Kaylee, go and find engine parts, get stuff we won’t be able to find elsewhere. Simon, go out to try and replenish our medical supplies. I know meds are scarce out here, but try to get as much as you can. Meet back here in an hour. I’ll look for Xue, see if he can help.” Said Mal. He then proceeded to leave to look for his friend. Kaylee smiled at Simon, and then walked off towards the space docks. Simon and Jayne continued deeper into the city. An hour later, Simon returned to find Jayne and Mal sipping at drinks at a table. Jayne had a large bag at his feet. “So, how was the weapons run?” asked Simon. “Pretty good,” said Jayne, “I got my hands on another Vera, two hypervelocity rifles, about a dozen grenades, a rapid fire machine gun, and two dozen submachine guns to replace our pistols. All in all, a damn good haul.” Jayne finished his sentence and proceeded to clean ‘Vera’. “Mal, did you find Xue?” asked Simon. “Xue’s dead” said Mal, “You remember that Reaver attack on Adelanto about three years back? It turns out that a bomb was dropped on his shop, blew him apart, just parts left.” Mal said this without a hint of grief for his friend. Simon was about to ask him about his lack of grief when Kaylee walked in. She sat down and then introduced her companion. “This is Arcan, he runs a parts shop, but he also deals in special parts.” said Kaylee. “Malcolm Reynolds, I understand you have a need for some ship based weapons?” said Arcan. “I do, what do you have?” Mal asked. “Follow me.” Said Arcan, with a slight smile. With a couple of quick glances to the rest of the group, Mal stood up and followed Arcan. The group trooped down to a service elevator. They got in, and Arcan punched in a 7-digit code, and the elevator started down. After about 5 minutes, the elevator stopped, and the group walked out. Jayne took a sharp breath as they looked around. They were looking at an armory. Huge weapons that were only fit for mounting on ships were mounted on racks across the huge room “Well, here is the merchandise, take-” his statement was cut off by a few explosions and hundreds of screams. Mal comlink beeped, and Zoe’s voice filtered through. “Sir, it’s the reavers! We’re taking off, make your way to the landing pad, we’ll pick you up there. Arcan ran away, into a small bunker in the corner, and locked it. Mal looked at Jayne, who opened the bag, and handed out the guns. They got into the elevator. As it opened t the top, they were greeted with one of the most horrifying scenes they had ever seen. The zombie-ish reavers were everywhere, their rotting skin and hair had a stench rivaled by none. They were leaping on any human in view, and eating their flesh. Jayne moved forward with his Machinegun, and went to rock-and-roll. The reavers flesh was churned apart as they charged the group. Methodically, the group moved forward, advancing slowly through the wasteland of carnage and killing anything that moved, until they reached the entrance to the space port. A single reaver with a rocket launcher started firing. Explosions dotted the building. “Watch it!” yelled Jayne, as he let lose with Vera, the rifle bucking in his hands as he fired again and again. The reaver dissolved into a whirlwind of blood and gore. “Let’s go!” yelled Mal. The group moved onto pad, forming a circle, while Mal called Zoe. “Zoe, a taxi would be highly appreciated!” He yelled. Strangely no reavers approached them. As Serenity touched down, a mob of humans ran towards the ship, screaming with pleas for help. Jayne and Mal opened fire over their heads, sending the mob on the dirt. Serenity flew into space as fast as the engines could carry it. In orbit, the crew was greeted to a breathtaking sight. About three hundred reaver ships were in orbit, each was sending down hundreds of pods. “Well the Reavers have changed tactics, never have I seen attack en masse before. No ones surviving this attack. Zoe, set course for Ariel, they have some weapon shops there; we can buy arms for the ship. In a flash of yellow flame, Serenity jetted away from the scene of destruction. --- Safely away from Adelanto, Atris cursed his luck. He had barely managed to escape from the Reavers, and had almost lost Serenity. But he needed a new plan. No direct attack would work against them. He had to try an unorthodox method. With that thought, a plan began to form in his mind. He would take something from them, something that some couldn’t be without. --- Arriving at Ariel was one of the hazardous things Mal had ever done. He had been to the planet before, but he wasn’t being hunted by a rogue with a ton of firepower at his fingers. Twice Serenity was challenged by alliance patrols and weapons were so close to firing the first time that He had Kaylee change the ships identity code so they wouldn’t arouse suspicion. Firefly class ships were getting rarer every day and ones in good condition would attract attention. As Serenity touched down, he breathed a sigh of relief. He gathered Jayne and Kaylee in the hanger before they set out. “There’ll be no medicine gathering here, the only meds on Ariel are locked up nice and tight in the hospitals, and there ain’t a power in the ‘verse that’ll get me to do that heist again. This time we’re after parts. I know a good shop where we can get some.” said Mal. And with that, they started out. Ariel was worlds apart from Adelanto, it was clean and orderly. No street merchants hawking their wares or beggars in the street. This wasn’t due to Ariel’s incredible economy. No, it was due to the Alliance, and their obsession with looks. The beggars and street merchants were herded off to the lower levels, thanks to the Alliance police. Mal’s train of thought was interrupted as he saw the very store he was supposed to enter. He walked through the door, to a small room with a small Asian man behind a counter. “May, I help you?” he said, with a sweet smile on his face. “Yes, we need ship mounted weapons. Nothing fancy, just enough to ward off pirate attacks.” Mal said, though unconvincingly. “Yes, well I have limited stocks, not much available I’m afraid. If you are going to buy, I need your name.” said the man. “My names Malcolm Reynolds” said Mal. “Oh, I that case, come, and let me show you my warehouse,” said the man, “By the way, my name is Fong.” He showed them to a small service elevator, and gestured inside. Mal was hesitant. He didn’t trust Fong. The way Fong’s eyes lit up when he told him his name scared him slightly. But he needed those parts. He moved towards the elevator, and got in. To say the elevator ride was simple is like saying the luge is like walking. The elevator didn’t descend, it dropped. Like a rock. After two minutes of a gut-busting fall, it crashed to a stop. Mal straightened up, and walked out, jogging to catch up to Fong, who was already out the door. Mal walked out the door, and was immediately beset by the red dots of laser sights. Both Kaylee and Jayne had dropped anything weapon like and had their hands on their heads. The snipers were surrounding a man with a black coat. He had a commanding air about him, and seemed to be in charge of this whole charade. Suddenly, he spoke. “Hello Mal. You probably don’t know who I am. Let me elaborate. I am the man whose life you ruined. I am the man whose life was destroyed, torn apart. I was something before you exposed Miranda. Now I am nothing. Doing this to you will be my final act. I am Atris Remtoya.” said Atris. “Are you gonna kill me?” asked Mal, “Then get it over with! I don’t want to suffer.” “No, I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to do something worse,” said Atris, “I’m going to take something from you. Kaylee, come here.” With those words, Mal’s heart sank into his boots. Killing him was no where near as bad as this. His crew was his family, and losing one of them was as bad as losing his father. “If you touch one hair on her head...”said Mal, with rage creeping into his voice. “Oh, you can be assured of that. Now turn around and walk out.” said Atris. He turned around with Kaylee and walked to a door at the other side of the door. Eyes filled with cold fury Mal slowly turned around and walked back to the elevator. Jayne followed him. No one spoke on the way back, but Mal’s look said it all. When they walked into Serenity, Simon spoke with a look a surprise. “Where’s Kaylee, what happened?” asked Simon. Mal swept past him and called out over the intercom. “Everybody, Kaylee’s been kidnapped by that crazy piece of si shen. Inara, get to the cockpit and fly this bird out. Zoe, Jayne, formulate a rescue plan. Then meet me in the cargo bay.” In the cargo bay Mal was explaining to everyone what happened. “It was that stupid zhu tou Atris Remtoya. He kidnapped Kaylee. We are going after him. Inara when you track him, go after him with everything we’ve got.” Mal finished his speech. “Mal, even though I’m not being paid for this, I’ve found Atris’s ship. He’s heading off towards a deep space sector about one hour from here. I’m setting off. Take note of two things though, one, he can outrun us in a heartbeat, and I’m detecting energy signatures approaching that could be two approaching fleets.” said Inara. “All right, go after him. Get Kaylee back!!” said Mal. On Atris’s ship, he was preparing for a ceremony. He didn’t want to physically torture Kaylee; no he was much too humane for that. Instead, he would use the time honored technique of psychological torture, but he would make her a little scared of him first. He had her brought into one of his chambers. The walls were lined with scythes, scalpels, hooks, drugs and the other instruments of torture. They were all for show though. Even though he was well versed in physical torture, he hadn’t used it on someone in seven years. She was frightened, but didn’t say anything. Her face told it all though. He fingered a scalpel, and acted as if he was going to use it. But he wasn’t. Without saying a word and ignoring her protests, he pulled a helmet over her head. He had had a disk full of images of her friends dying made, almost an hour of it. She muttered her last protest. “Why me? Why not the captain or someone more important?” said Kaylee. As he injected her with a drug that would put her into a deep coma, he answered the question. “Because having you here is more tortuous to Mal than any knives in the world.” Said Atris. He lowered the helmet onto her head and inserted the disk. After she woke up, she would believe her friends to be dead. As he left the room, he paused, just so he could hear her muffled screams. Back on Serenity, Mal and his crew were pushing the engines to their limit to catch up to Atris. In the cockpit however, River had a different kind of trouble. “Inara,” she yelled, “Reavers and Alliance have just appeared.” “What! Reavers and Alliance? How many?” she asked. “Just about 100 ships per side. Kaylee’s captor is on the other side of the pack.” Said River, the worry in her voice rising sharply. She was right. There were about 200 large, medium and small ships arrayed in two fleets. There were carriers, fighters, cruisers, even battleships on the Alliance side. The Reavers had a motlier group of ships, but no less deadly. Civilian cruise liners, tugs, even luxury yachts, all outfitted with enough weapons to make Jayne happy for the rest of his life. Plenty to worry about. “Mal, get in here. NOW!” screamed Inara. “I’m here what--. Holy tou, Reavers and Alliance. Where’s that scumbags ship?” said Mal, sounding flustered. “Atris is on the other side.” Said River, just as the two fleets clashed in a barrage of cannon and laser fire. Mal watched two ships explode before he turned around. “Then let’s go get him. River, Inara, you’re the best pilots we have this side of the ‘verse. Fly straight through that mess. Let’s get Kaylee back. I’ll be downstairs with the rescue party.” Mal finished his speech, then left to go to the hanger. Once he got down, he found Simon, Jayne, and Zoe prepping weapons and equipment. “We knew there would be a rescue, so we got ready early. Actually we got ready as soon as we left Ariel. Sir, everything is under control. Now we just to get close to Atris’s ship.” Announced Zoe. Mal smiled. He had known they would have been preparing when he announced the rescue, but not an hour before he announce it. With nothing inspiring to say, he sat down and started cleaning his weapons. Up in the cockpit, things were not going so well. When they started into the battle, Inara and River knew it would be tough. Not this tough though. Twice they were caught by a reaver’s magnetic cord, twice they escaped it. Once they had to double back to avoid an annoying missile. They once flew through the burning wreckage of an Alliance cruiser. When they reached the other side they paused to survey the battle. Both sides were decimated. Most of the small ships were gone, and only the large ones remained. River’s keen eyes frantically searched for Atris’s ship and found it, right safe at the back of the Alliance line. As both sides clashed again, Atris headed away from the battle and right at Serenity. “He’s taunting us. When he passes, I’m going to slam and dock with him.” River made this declaration without expression, but her fear showed in her face. She went to full burn at Atris’s ship, taking care to set a trajectory that would miss him slightly. At the last second, she adjusted her course and slammed directly into Atris. River heard the clacking of the docking ports and smiled in satisfaction. Serenity and Atris’s ship were now docked. “Captain, we’re docked. Send in the crew, Inara and I will keep the lock enabled. In the cargo bay, Mal, Zoe, and Jayne were taking up positions around the small door. Mal triggered the door by remote. It opened slowly, and revealed a dark corridor beyond. Jayne tossed in a grenade, and as it exploded, three men screamed in pain. Zoe leaped through the door and Mal and Jayne followed. “Simon, stay here and shoot anyone that isn’t us who tries to come through.” Said Mal. Then he followed Jayne. The group had walked a good distance when they came to an open room with a balcony. Snipers ringed it. Mal and Jayne dove to one side, and waited for the barrage of fire to hit their cover. The crates jolted and bounced. Jayne hurled two grenades, and as they went off, he leaped up and sprayed the balcony with bullets. All but two of the snipers fell. Mal stood up, and found himself aiming where the snipers had been. He looked to the side and saw Zoe aiming where they had been. The group ran ahead, through another passage way. They saw a large room dotted with surgical tools, and Kaylee in a chair, unconscious. Jayne and Zoe dragged her out of the chair, and back through the hallway. They were back to the room with the snipers when he realized that this was all a setup. All the doors away from this place were locked. He was about to comment about this when a huge weight slammed into his back, pinning him down. It was Atris. He sent a kick directed at Mal’s chin. Mal flipped over and landed on his back. Atris started to fall on Mal, but ripped and fell on his face. Mal kicked him again and the battle continued. The fought for about 5 minutes, neither one getting the upper hand. They forced each other to the platform. Using his last burst of strength, Mal pushed Atris over the edge of the platform. Atris didn’t show any fear as he spoke his last words. “Do you think this is over? More will fill my place and make you pay. Malcolm Reynolds, you will never escape.” Atris spat into Mal’s face. “I have only One thing to say to you,” Said Mal, “Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu!” and with that said, Mal broke Atris’s spine. He watched Atris die, and then ran back to the ship. He reached the door just in time to see it start to close. He leaped through and saw that Jayne was watching the door. Where in the gorram hell were you when I was fighting Atris?” asked Mal. “We ran into a group of Alliance troops and had to fight our way out. Kaylee’s fine. Go signal River, so we can leave.” Said Jayne. Mal walked over to the intercom. “River. Moon ‘em!” he said, with vigor returning to his voice. “Yes, Cap’n!” came the enthusiastic reply. Serenity detached from Atris’s dying ship. The Alliance had won, but barely, the five remaining ships were busy going through the wreckage, looking for survivors. No one noticed Serenity going to full burn out of the system. --- Everyone was gathered in the dining hall when Simon came in. “Kaylee’s going to be all right. The damage was mostly mental. A whole bunch of rest should make her right.” Said Simon. “Well, I need to explain to you what happened. When we exposed the Reaver’s secret, the few good politicians left in the world initiated an investigation. Since they no longer had any military that they could use as a personal army, they took matters into their own hands. I’m assured that Atris was only the first. More are soon to come. Anyone who wants out can leave can do at our next port of call. Any takers?” said Mal. The silence in the room said it all. Mal felt tears come to his eyes. He knew they would follow him to the death. Whatever lay ahead, he knew his crew could handle it.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 6:00 PM

SIHNON


YAARIIIIIIIIII!!!!

And I come unto thee with tidings and criticism! (But the fun "so you can improve" kind)

Slow doooowwnnnnn. Ya could'a split this into four parts, fleshed it out a little. You have the reader rushing through, wondering what the hell just happened in the last paragraph.

You were a -little- off on characterization. Mal was a little too eloquent, Inara insulted the ship (which she specifically said she loved in Out of Gas in the scene with Simon), I'm pretty darn sure Vera's a one of a kind gun...

Otherwise, nice plot! =D Little confusing, but coupled with the whole "fleshing it out" thing, it'd be quite shiny. (You're my opposite. I can't do plots worth shit.)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 6:15 PM

JDUBASHI


Yeah, I know about those problems. It was for an english assignment, and i had a deadline. No time to check for errors. I don't own the DVD's though. The reason I didn't split it was because i just cut and pasted it. If i had more time it would have been better. Do you think it was ok for a first attempt? I shoulda made Mal sound dumber though.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 6:54 PM

SERENYTY


Pretty nice, and I agree with all the criticism stated above.

Also, Zoe was out of character a bit, when talking about Wash. She called Mal his name, instead of "Sir," and she seemed a bit more talkative than usual.

Otherwise, very good.

Oh, and what assignment did you have to do? Fanfiction for an assignment= good.

Thursday, March 30, 2006 1:47 PM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN


it could have been better but could have been worse


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