Craving part 5
Monday, November 21, 2005

What Simon did


Inara stopped Simon on the catwalk “Didn’t you see what might happen?” she asked him angrily.

“Oh yes, I saw” he said

He had seen what might happen and had done it anyway. When he realised what his actions did to Kaylee, how miserable she was, Simon wanted to apologise, he really did. But something always stopped him.

Simon hated Jayne. He was tired of the sneering, the rough teasing, the knocks in the corridor, everything. River’s sudden attachment to the big mercenary infuriated and bewildered him. It appeared that she had forgotten Jayne’s betrayal at Ariel, his continuous distrust of her, his actions prior to Miranda. In spite of all this lately River was actually spending more time with Jayne than she was with himself. . When Jayne had him cornered in the infirmary, River hadn’t even helped him! She had let the man almost choke and threaten him. She’d then left with Jayne had come back hours later, drunk. Drunk! Jayne had taken his little sister to a bar and got her drunk.

But Jayne’s actions had given Simon the ammunition he needed. He was brought to the realisation that Jayne was in love with Kaylee, disgusting as that was. The man probably relied on her friendship, her trust. So Simon would take Kaylee’s friendship away. He acted with malice aforethought to injure Jayne anyway he could.

Simon admitted to himself that there were problems between himself and Kaylee. He had honestly meant the words he had spoken when in battle with the Reavers. He sincerely loved Kaylee and thought that their being together was meant to be.

But he didn’t handle relationships well, didn’t always know the right way to behave, the correct thing to say. Kaylee’s all or nothing approach to relationships; her emotional reactions to every situation were foreign to him. He was uncomfortable with parading their newfound relationship in front of the crew and couldn’t understand Kaylee’s need for constant touches.

While he certainly desired her he found that their attitudes toward sex were diametrically opposed. Simon was all for quiet passion, controlled experiences. Kaylee was to his mind excessively demonstrative. When in the throes of passion she cried out, it embarrassed more than it excited him. Her frank requests for certain sexual positions and acts stunned him so much so that sometimes he couldn’t carry them out. He was beginning to regard their sexual relations as a duty not a pleasure and thought that Kaylee was feeling the same. If he had slept better he may have reacted to the situation differently

But he was suffering from lack of sleep. Disturbed nights always affected him badly and he wasn’t as patient as he might have been with Kaylee who was waking up every night with nightmares, screaming, crying. If he had been just her doctor and not her lover he would have diagnosed what used to be called ‘post traumatic stress disorder’. He did suggest that Kaylee needed medical help but when she refused to discuss it, didn’t act upon his words. To ensure a night’s sleep he had actually resorted to doping Kaylee without her knowledge. He had only done it twice, scared that if either Mal or Jayne found out he would certainly die. That they would find out was a real possibility because Simon was sure that Kaylee was discussing their problems with Jayne.

Of course he knew that Kaylee and Jayne had been friends long before he came on board Serenity. He didn’t understand or like the friendship but he knew it existed. He also knew that even though she discussed them with others, sooner or later Kaylee took all her problems to Jayne. He was proved correct when Jayne stormed into the infirmary grabbed him by the throat and hoisted him in the air. The man’s voice was quiet and deadly, his eyes fierce and cold at once when he threatened Simon with solving the problem, breaking up or death.

Simon had no idea how to solve their problems, and quite frankly didn’t want to. He just wanted peace, time to research, to help River. He broke off the relationship and revenged himself on Jayne.

If Kaylee hadn’t been so stressed and unhappy what Simon said to her wouldn’t have affected her. She would’ve gone on treating Jayne like her best friend, telling him all her problems, working alongside him, trusting him. But Simon picked his moment with care and while ending their relationship told Kaylee that Jayne was responsible for their problems. He told her that Jayne had interfered constantly, repeated everything she told him, and done his best to break them up.

Simon got what he had intended. Kaylee was treating Jayne badly. She wasn’t speaking to him at dinner, didn’t ask for his help with the engine or anything else and avoided him at all other times. When she did speak to him her words were hurtful and a lot meaner than Kaylee normally was. The happy, shiny engineer seemed to be completely gone.

Although most times he did a good job of concealing his feelings Jayne was devastated by Kaylee’s behaviour. Becoming even more so when she was injured in the engine room. Injuries she might have avoided if she had asked for his help. Simon too was concerned, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. He had several times caught a look of confusion in Kaylee’s eyes, knowing she was questioning her behaviour and would soon start questioning his.

He was saved from confession and apologies by Jayne deciding to leave the ship. This totally unexpected move amazed Simon and relieved him of immediate action. He stood watching as Jayne walked away without looking back, and Simon felt guiltily satisfied.


Monday, November 21, 2005 4:59 AM


::wimper:: why do you keep hurting my poor Jayne and Kaylee?

fix it please please make it all better :(

Monday, November 21, 2005 5:37 AM



I didn't know Simon had it in him!

Monday, November 21, 2005 7:42 AM


Ick. Bad Simon!

On the one hand, I can see his anger and want for renevege: how can he be expected to "fix" anything when the one guy who is the thorn in his side (not to mention his "competition") is constantly butting in?

On the other hand, let's hope River figures it out and kicks his ass.

Monday, November 21, 2005 7:52 AM


This version of Simon certainly isn't worthy of Kaylee but Jayne leaving doesn't meant he gets to move in on Kaylee. Could be it all blows up in his face. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, November 21, 2005 7:59 AM


it hurts. make it better. please?


Monday, November 21, 2005 5:53 PM


I am going to kill Simon. This instant.

Mal, can I borrow your gun? No? Zoe?
Awwwwwww come on, you guys! Fine! I'll do it with my bare hands.....

Will someone PLEASE go after Jayne and bring him back? Right now!

Monday, November 21, 2005 7:04 PM


simon's a big meanie! could he really be that evil? of course it would blow up in his face.

Friday, November 25, 2005 11:32 PM


I'm with Lil Kristy. No more hurting our Jayne and Kaylee. Simon? Have at it. He could definitely benefit from a good literary drubbing. Heck, I'll hold, you punch.

One more thing: Could there be some sexifyin' in somebody's future? I mean, besides mine?


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Recurrent verse : part seven : Weary
Kaylee has to cope on the crashed ship while the crew of Serenity search for her.

Simon has concentrated his whole life on his sister

Wash and River get to know each other better a friendship fic.

Recurrent Verse : Part six : Crash
Kaylee meets unexpected problems while flying with Monty.

Them that choose it : Part two : Loss
Kaylee meets someone from home.

Recurrent Verse : part five : Dreaming
A meeting with Monty and Jayne and Kaylee sort some things out

Jayne tells Kaylee something she doesn't want to hear

To heal
River is still healing as she and Jayne learn more about each other

Things that can happen in darkness - a Jaylee drabble.

Recurrent Verse
a collection of four stories exploring the beginnings of something for Jayne and Kaylee