All the usual disclaimers here. This one is for Brenda20 and ILOVEJAYNE so they will forgive me for the ending of Niska's Revenge. Besides which ILJ threatened me with the Chain of command!

The Chat

"Uh, Mal. Can I talk to you?"

Mal looked up from cleaning his guns and saw Jayne standing there looking all manner of uncomfortable. "Thought I gave you a few days off. Wasn’t expecting to see you back here before Friday. But sure, pull up a chair, talking’s free."

"I kind of got myself in some trouble, Mal."

"So now you want me to call everyone back to the ship and make a quick exit. Is that it? Might be best you tell me what the trouble is."

Jayne looked down and kind of squirmed in his chair, but didn’t answer right away. Suddenly he had Mal’s full attention because he had never known Jayne to be uneasy about saying something, no matter how inappropriate someone else might think it. His mind boggled to think what topic might make JAYNE uneasy. He just hoped it would end up being too expensive for one Malcolm Reynolds.

"I got to get married, Mal," the big man said in a very low voice.

"What was that, Jayne. Speak up. I couldn’t make out what you just said."

"I got to get married, Mal. I swear to you on my mother’s Bible that I thought she was older, a lot older."

"I’m thinking perhaps you need to be doing more explaining here."

"Well, I met this girl…"

"Since you’re getting married, I sorta figured that much. Go on."

"She was real pretty and she and I had a good time kidding around at this bar. She even plays a killer game of pool. She told me she was 23. Certainly looked it. Well anyway, you know I ain’t shy about asking a woman to bed. She agreed and we went off to my room. Well, she undressed and, oh my, she was just ruttin beautiful, so I undid my pants and grabbed her and we started to…"

"I think I get the picture, Jayne, I don’t need the gory details. Get to the part where you have to marry her."

"Second time around, I hear some guy yelling in the hallway. Then he suddenly busts through the door. Turns out he’s her dad and she’s 16, not 23 like I thought."

"I can see why he might want his daughter to get married, but I’m not seeing why you’d be agreeing to that."

"It’s this way, Mal. He’s the Chief of Police and it seems I either got to marry her or they’ll lock me up for rape. Won’t let us leave either. They got Serenity locked down."

"Well, juh jen sha guh kwai luh duh jeen jan. So you planning to bring this bride of yours with you when we leave?"

"If you say I can. Otherwise I guess I’ll have to stay here. I couldn’t abandon the poor girl. It's not like her dad would take her back. But that’s not really what I came to ask."

"You are kind of handy to have in a fight, so yes, I suppose you can bring her along. You’ll have to pay some for her keep though. I can’t afford to be paying for feeding the passengers. So just what was it you wanted to ask?"

"I was wondering if you’d stand up with me and be my best man."