So anyway, this is my story that my girlfriend, veshengri, mentioned about a month ago in hers that we were supposed to upload together. But once I finished mine, I hated the way it turned out and decided to overhaul it. Now it's finally ready I feel. If you didn't read hers, we both came up with a similar prompt for a fanfic (Kaylee steals Mal's coat) but decided to take it in our own, different, individual directions. Like most of her stories, hers is more light-hearted and humorous while mine, like most of my stories, is more lemony. Like with virtually everything I write, these characters do not belong to me at all. And for those who don't get the title reference, listen to the song "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo (the Kate Bush version is also acceptable but I feel the Placebo one fits better) and imagine the lyrics being sung from Kaylee's POV. Anyway, enough jabbering, on with the story.

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"Where in the sphincter of hell is my coat?!"

In the few weeks it had been since his ship resumed flight after the Miranda footage broadwave, things in Capt. Malcolm Reynolds' life continued in much the same fashion it had beforehand for him and his crew: Things were not going smooth. Jobs were scarcer than usual, thanks in no part to the Alliance wiping out several of his previous employers. And the few jobs they had gotten had come with much begging and pleading on Mal's part to even be trusted with work from people who were scared stiff at doing business with the man who had decided to poke the governing body of the galaxy with a really pointy stick.

The handful of jobs they did get didn't go much better once they had been hired. Mal wasn't sure how they were doing it but somehow the Alliance always happened to be around while business was trying to go down. And they always happened to be armed to the teeth and looking for a fight. Not one job had gone down in the past few weeks without at least a minor firefight breaking out. And it was a true miracle that they'd been able to escape every time without losing another crewmember. There were plenty of injuries though and Simon was kept so busy tending to wounds that he'd scarcely found time to eat or sleep. Just from the most recent job that happened that day, his first mate Zoë had taken a gunshot to her bicep and Jayne had been knocked out cold after running headfirst into a wooden beam while trying to escape and concussed himself.

And now his coat was missing. This had not been a good day.

"When I find out who took my coat, I'm dumping the sumbitch out of the airlock!" Mal raged to nobody in particular as he stomped through the ship in search of his prized possession. It wasn't particularly cold or anything right now, Mal just always felt better if he knew where his brown coat was at all times. It was part of his identity. He wore it even after the war to show that he had fought the Alliance and continued to do so, even when so many others just rolled over and let the Alliance shackle their lives. As far as he was concerned, he'd rather die than be without it.

Mal had already searched through the entirety of the ship twice and hadn't had any luck. Everyone else was already in bed after a long hard day and Mal was slowly succumbing to exhaustion himself. He finally decided to take up the search tomorrow when he could interrogate the crew in person. He slumped off through the ship towards the crew dorms and descended the ladder into his bunk. When he got there he noticed something on his pillow. Confused, he strode over and picked up a video capture screen that had been placed there. Intrigued, Mal pressed play and the screen flickered to life.

The image appeared and the face of his mechanic Kaylee came into focus. She set down the video capture she was holding and backed up so her entire body was in the frame. Mal's grip on the small monitor tightened when he saw Kaylee was wearing his coat in his bunk and didn't appear to be wearing anything else under it.

"Okay, hey there, Captain. As you can see, I've got your coat here with me and if'n you want it back, you're going to have to come to my bunk to get it. See you soon."

Kaylee blew the screen a kiss and gave an impish little smile before walking back over to the capture and shutting it off, causing the screen to flicker to black. Mal sighed heavily and pursed his lips at what he just saw. He'd already had a stressful enough day and didn't really need this right now. Running his hand through his messy brown hair, Mal closed his eyes and tried to work up the proper demeanor before heading out to get his coat back. He was angry as sin with Kaylee right now but he knew that going down there and hollering at her wasn't going to make things any better for him or for her. After convincing himself he wasn't going to snap at her, Mal walked to his bunk and headed out. He came to Kaylee's bunk and knocked loudly. In an instant, Kaylee had opened the hatch and Mal climbed down into his mechanic's bunk.

When Mal reached the foot of the ladder, the first thing he saw was Kaylee sitting on the edge of her bed, clad in his coat and with a wicked smile on her face. Mal merely groaned to himself and rolled his eyes at her antics and walked over to her.

"Kaylee, what is this foolishness you're up to?" Mal sighed, tiredly. "Please give me back my coat."

"Ooh, wanna get right down to business, do you?" Kaylee purred seductively as she stood up and started slipping the coat off. Mal's suspicious were confirmed as Kaylee's small breast came into view as did a lot of other flesh.

"Aiya tyeh-ah Kaylee!" Mal shouted and threw his arms up to his face to shield his view from seeing his nude mechanic. Kaylee stopped disrobing and buckled the coat back up so she was decent again. Once Mal could see there were no inappropriate parts of Kaylee visible, he let his arms back down.

"Kaylee, what are you playing at here? Why did you take my coat and why are you currently naked underneath it?" Mal asked with a hint of impatient stiffness in his voice.

"Well, I know things have been kinda rough on us for the past couple weeks and so I thought I'd try and cheer you up a little," replied Kaylee brightly.

"Look, I appreciate the thought and all Kaylee but I really don't want this."

"Aw, c'mon Cap'n," Kaylee purred while doing her sexiest walk she could manage over to Mal until they were face to face. She then stood on her tiptoes and whispered huskily in Mal's ear, "You deserve to have a little fun every now and then. You and I both know you want this."

Kaylee placed a gentle kiss on Mal's ear and moved to kiss his neck but Mal quickly stepped back before she could. Without warning, Mal grabbed Kaylee's face between both his hands, forcing her to look at him and his menacing, furious face.

"Now listen to me Kaylee and listen to me good. I've got enough problems to deal with as it is and I really don't need this go-se on top of it! The last thing I need in my life right now is my mechanic stealing my property to try and seduce me! Now, I'm going to turn my back and I expect you to hand over my coat and change into some decent clothes."

Mal released Kaylee's face and turned around so he was facing the ladder out of her bunk and out of this nightmare. He waited for a few moments to be handed his coat but didn't hear any signs of Kaylee doing what he asked. Instead, all he heard was a tiny sniffling sound. Mal wheeled around and found Kaylee sitting on the edge of her bed, tears streaming out of her large brown eyes.

Instantly, Mal's hostile demeanor evaporated at the sight of Kaylee crying. It always tore Mal to pieces to see her sad and upset. Shepherd Book had once said that when Kaylee cried, the entire universe cried with her just because of how heartbreaking it was. And as Mal stood there and watched her sob, all his conscience could think was "Nice going you hundan, you made her cry. I hope you're proud of yourself." Feeling utterly rotten, Mal went to try and repair the damage he'd done and sat down next to Kaylee, putting his arms around her and holding her tight. Kaylee sobbed into his shoulder and pressed herself as close to Mal as she could get.

"Kaylee darlin', I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hollered at you like that. You were just trying to help and it was wrong of me to yell at you like that. Please don't cry bao bei," Mal said softly to Kaylee as he gently stroked her golden brown hair, trying to help her relax. After a bit of time, Kaylee had cried herself out and sat back up but kept her head bowed.

"'m sorry Cap'n," Kaylee sniffled, "I wasn't tryin' to make you mad or nuthin. It's just, things here have been pretty gorram awful around here lately and it's changing you. You ain't been the same since we got back in the air. You been even more closed off and surly and angry than you usually are. And I just miss you is all. I miss my old captain and I want him back. And I'm willing to do anything it takes to get him back."

Kaylee finally looked up and at Mal once she'd said her piece. Mal swallowed hard as he looked down at Kaylee, watching her eyes shine with the threat of new tears. Mal nearly broke down himself for a moment just watching her innocent and hopeful face look at him but pulled himself together and cleared his throat before beginning his response.

"You're right Kaylee girl, I have been a bit on edge lately. And it's not fair of me to take it out on you or anyone else. It's ultimately my fault why we don't have solid and safe work. I made it perfectly clear that anyone who didn't want to be apart of my idea should clear out. I'm sorry for my behavior. But Kaylee, you surely must've known that this wasn't the best plan to make things better for me?"

"Well I dunno," Kaylee shrugged, "whenever I'm feeling down, a roll in the sheets always helps make me feel better. Guess I just thought you was wired the same way I was in that matter."

"That may be true but that don't change the fact that you and me getting together wouldn't be right at all. I mean you're a good deal younger than me and I'm no good at the whole courting thing. Plus, you've already got yourself a man. What would he think if he knew of this?"

Kaylee stiffened a bit didn't answer right away. And when she spoke, it was with a coolness to her voice that she hadn't yet had in the conversation.

"We had another fight the other day. I haven't seen him hardly at all in the past few weeks cause he's been so busy fixin' everyone up. But I went down to the infirmary to see him and he snapped at me, yellin' about how he needs to work and can't be distracted by nuthin. I tried to calm him down but he just yelled some more about how he didn't want me bugggin him all the time so I finally hollered back that I wouldn't bother him ever again. So yeah, he wouldn't care none if I slept with you or if I threw myself out the airlock."

"Oh," was all Mal could say initially. After pondering for a moment for something more meaningful to say, he said, "Well I'm terribly sorry to hear that mei-mei. But don't you think you're both overreacting a bit here? I mean one fight shouldn't break the two of you up, now should it?"

"I dunno Cap'n, it just didn't seem like it was supposed to ever work out. We ain't got too much in common and plus he wasn't exactly spectacular in the sack. I guess a city boy like him just ain't supposed to be with a girl like me."

Kaylee started to sniffle again and a couple lone tears leaked from her eyes but Mal was quickly there to wrap her up in his arms once more before she could fully break down. Kaylee snuggled in close to Mal's chest, listening to his heart as it hammered against his chest.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that darlin'," Mal said softly as he lightly stroked Kaylee's hair. "I really had high hopes that you'd found someone good to make you happy. Someone as pretty as you shouldn't be alone and deserves someone special to make them happy all the time."

"Y'think I'm pretty, Cap'n?"

"Well o'course I do bao bei. There ain't another soul in the whole 'verse who's as lovely as you. You got a smile on you that makes the stars look dim and jewels seem dull. Any man would be lucky to have you for a mate, no matter where in the 'verse he comes from," Mal said as he leaned in to kiss Kaylee's forehead to emphasize his words. But in the instant he moved down, Kaylee tilted her head up to smile and him and their lips came together. Both of them quickly recoiled in surprise and Mal looked like he'd grabbed an electric fence while Kaylee merely looked stunned.

As Mal cleared his throat and tried to stammer out an apology, Kaylee made her move and closed the distance between them again, cupping Mal's cheek in her hand as she closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his. Mal struggled slightly and let a few noises of protest but Kaylee remained persistent and kissed him even harder. After a moment, Mal relented and accepted the kiss and started kissing her back. Mal's mind dissolved and he lost track of everything around him as he passionately kissed his sweet mechanic. But as quick as the brief instant he allowed himself to enjoy the kiss, his brain suddenly snapped back on and he successfully managed to pull away from Kaylee, gasping as if he'd just run a mile. Kaylee opened her eyes and felt confused and slightly hurt about what was going on.

"Mal, what's wrong? What is it?"

Mal's brain briefly registered that Kaylee didn't address him as "Captain" for the first time in forever likely but he managed to keep his focus and look at her with his haunted eyes.

"Kaylee, this isn't right. When I said you deserve someone good who could make you happy, I wasn't referring to myself one bit. I'm no good for someone like you. I'm a mean, cold, broken man who has to do bad things just to be able to survive. You deserve better than me, a lot better as a matter of fact. I don't want to hurt you."

"Captain, you won't hurt me." Kaylee replied seriously. "I don't buy for one second the things you say about yourself. I see the way you care for and protect this ship and this crew and I just know that deep down inside you got a heart capable of love. I know already that you'd do everything in your power to keep me safe and out of danger even right now. So I don't see any reason at all that you're somehow incapable of being with me and making me happy. You said I deserved someone special but I think you need it more than anybody. I know you been through way more than anyone should have been through in their lives but that don't change the kind of man you are and it don't change that you're the man that I want for me."

Mal's brain was a hurricane of thoughts and emotions as he listened to Kaylee's startling speech. His mind and his heart were firmly at war with each other, each trying to convince the other of what was right in this situation. All he'd wanted to do is get his coat back and head to bed. Now he was in his mechanic's bunk feeling completely stripped bare and vulnerable as Kaylee had done a masterful job tearing down all his defenses. And as he pondered, Kaylee made things all the more difficult by scooting back over to him and placing small, soft kisses on his cheek. Each kiss simultaneously burned like an ember leaping off a fire and also chilled like a raindrop, further intensifying the struggle within.

Finally Kaylee placed one final kiss on the corner of his eye, hoping it'd get him to look at her. Correctly interpreting her intention, Mal glanced over to her. Kaylee had her best doe eyes on and her lip was quivering just a bit as she simply whispered "Please..." to him. That did it and the dam of his emotions finally crumbled into dust as his affection for Kaylee came flooding throughout him. Without hesitating another second, Mal crashed his lips against hers and began kissing her with a passion he hadn't felt in many years and didn't know he still possessed. Kaylee was quick to reciprocate his intensity and her mouth parted, desperately seeking out his tongue. Mal quickly obliged her and their tongues came together, furiously jostling with each other while both their hands roamed over every inch of each other's bodies, desperately seeking every inch they could grab.

After a time that could have been a minute, an hour or even an entire day, the two bodies separated for a moment so they could both regain their breath. Kaylee flung her arms around Mal's neck and clutched him close against her while she burst into joyous tears, overcome with the emotion of the moment.

"Thank you Captain, thank you," she cried over and over, feeling as overjoyed as she did the day Mal had offered her the job onboard the ship. Mal chose to remain silent as he hugged her back tightly, smiling his first genuine smile in months. Kaylee finally got a hold of herself and eased back to look Mal in the face. They spent several moments just gazing at each other, both taking in the wonderful sight of seeing the other one smiling again.

"I'm not just dead sure yet as to what I've gotten myself into tonight but so far it's been worth it," Mal said breathlessly.

"And I've only just begun," Kaylee replied as her voice took on the same seductive purr she had when Mal first arrived. Mal chuckled a bit at that as Kaylee pulled him in for another kiss and pulled him down on top of her until they were lying on her bed. They both approached this kiss much gentler than their previous one, taking their time and saving their passion up for later events.

Mal wrapped one arm around the back of Kaylee's head and buried his hand in her soft hair, gently stroking her scalp, drawing small sighs of bliss from her. She chose to settle on gently stroking his cheek and chin with her hand. He hadn't shaved recently and his stubble was like coarse sandpaper. Her touch electrified Mal, sending shockwaves all up and down his body from her touch and causing goosebumps to erupt all over his skin.

As they continued to kiss, Kaylee's hands drifted down to Mal's shirt and she started undoing the buttons on it. She finally parted the material and slid her hands inside, feeling Mal's surprisingly soft skin underneath. She hugged him close against her and broke their kiss as she slid her face down his, to his neck and finally to his bare chest, which she snuggled up to like it was her own brand of catnip. Mal drew a deep breath and closed his eyes, simply enjoying how good Kaylee's face felt against his chest while he removed his suspenders and pulled his shirt completely off.

Kaylee slowly started placing kisses all along Mal's chest and stomach, taking special care at every scar she reached. Every wound was another memory that shaped who Mal was and Kaylee wanted to prove that even with all those wounds, both physically and psychologically, she still wanted him and wouldn't take him any other way. Mal, meanwhile, was quietly wondering to himself how he'd gotten himself into such a surreal moment. Why was Kaylee doing this? Had she always felt this way about him? Why did she like him so much? But at that point Mal's libido smacked Mal's brain upside the head and told it to shut up and enjoy the moment for once. Mal considered that for all of a millisecond and accepted that reasoning.

Desiring more of her, Mal dipped his hand inside his coat to seek out some skin of his own to feel but found it troublesome with his coat interfering. Kaylee remedied this by scooting out from under him, getting to her feet and slowly shed herself of Mal's coat, leaving her naked before him. Mal's breath caught in his throat as he took in the incredible beauty of Kaywinnet Lee Frye. As far as Mal was concerned, he'd never seen a more perfect woman in all his life. Everything was amazing, from her toned, muscular arms to her full, wide hips, her small but perky breasts and just a faint outline of a nice fleshy tummy. Pretty was a true understatement, Kaylee was drop dead gorgeous.

Kaylee blushed at Mal's reaction and climbed back into her bed with him. She placed a small kiss on his lips while Mal's hands picked up where they left off and ran their way all over Kaylee's soft, smooth skin. Kaylee bit her bottom lip and steadily started breathing faster and heavier, getting progressively more and more turned on from Mal's gentle touch. Mal's hands came to her breast and he wrapped his hand around the small mound of flesh, tenderly kneading it between his fingers, not wanting to be too rough with her.

Kaylee let out a small moan as Mal groped her breast. She could tell that even now he was taking special care with her as his touch was firm but not a white-knuckled grip either. She certainly wouldn't have minded if he'd wanted to be rougher with her because Kaylee had no issue with hard sex either. But she'd always appreciated the soft, slow, tender sex more for some reason. She liked being taken care of and when the boys she was with would make sure she was having a good time too rather than just trying to reach their release at her expense.

While he continued to busy himself with Kaylee's breast, Mal reached his hand down between Kaylee's legs, seeking out her small nub to make her moan even more for him. When he finally found it, Kaylee seized up and let out a loud squeak followed by a quavering sigh as her body melted under Mal's touch. Desiring more reactions like that, Mal took his hand off her breast and replaced it with his mouth. He snaked his tongue around her erect nipple while his fingers continued stroking Kaylee's clitoris, causing nearly every muscle in her body to flex at the same time and drawing another high-pitched moan.

Her mind was starting to fog over from the sensations pulsing through her body but Kaylee wasn't ready for incoherence just yet. As she writhed under Mal's skilled fingers and tongue, Kaylee noticed Mal's erection pressing itself against her thigh. She reached down and fumbled at the clasp of his pants for a bit, her hands seeming to have a mind of their own as they clumsily tried to get Mal's pants off. She finally got it undone and Mal helped her slide his pants off of him, taking his underwear along with them. Not wasting another second, Kaylee's hand sought out Mal's stiff cock and closed her hand around it. It was Mal's turn to let out an involuntary gasp and his eyes briefly rolled back into his head.

Kaylee took advantage of this brief pause and clambered her way up on top of Mal and sensually ran her tongue from the shaft of Mal's penis all the way up to the head. Mal shuddered a bit and couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious as he hadn't grabbed a shower in a few days and was sure he must be a bit grimy down there. But Kaylee didn't seem to mind as she enveloped the head of his cock with her mouth while swirling her tongue around as much of it as she could reach.

Eventually, Kaylee went further and slowly started lowering her mouth further down around Mal's shaft. She nearly got it all the way in but started to gag and had to head back up for air. Mal groaned as she did this, unable to get out a more coherent way to express to Kaylee how good that felt. Kaylee got the message though and dipped back down again as far as she could and then back up. She slowly began building a rhythm as her mouth repeatedly took Mal's stiffness in and out of it. Mal knew that if she kept this up, he wouldn't outlast the minute and knew he didn't want that to be the end of their night, as good as it would feel. He craved more of her and placed a hand on her cheek to get her to stop so he could tell her just that.

"Somethin' wrong Cap'n?" Kaylee questioned, concerned she'd accidentally hurt him somehow.

"Only that if you keep that up, I ain't going to be up for much more," gasped Mal, his mouth dry. "And I do want more Kaylee."

Kaylee got a wicked glint in her eye as she interpreted that statement and quickly climbed up Mal's body so she was straddling his hips. Slowly, she backed herself up until she felt his penis come into contact with her eagerly-waiting cunt. After adjusting herself to ensure he'd be inside her, Kaylee slowly pushed her groin down onto Mal's cock and it filled her up inch by inch. Once he was all the way in, both of them took a moment to savor the feeling as they looked deep into each other's eyes. Kaylee leaned down for a kiss and Mal took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight against him.

"Wuh de tyen ah, you feel so good Captain," Kaylee sighed into his ear.

"You feel pretty amazing yourself Kaylee," Mal mumbled thickly, his mouth feeling like it was full of marbles. Kaylee giggled and gave him another deep kiss. As she did, Mal slowly pulled out of her and then slid himself back in agonizingly slow. Kaylee moaned and gasped for breath as he did and hugged Mal tight around his neck. Mal kept hugging her close with one arm while his other hand drifted to her plump ass and gripped it tight to help guide her hips. He once again slowly slid out and back into her and Kaylee cried out this time, loving every second of him being inside her.

Slowly, Mal started increasing the speed of his thrusts but never took it to a high-level, choosing instead to continue to savor every inch of her while he made love to her. Kaylee kept moaning louder and louder into her pillow as Mal fucked her carefully as if she was some holy object, deserving of the best care and gentlest touch so as not to spoil her. Sweat started pouring off their bodies as the heat between them increased with every passionate thrust. Kaylee could feel herself building to an orgasm at breakneck speeds and it wasn't long at all before she felt an incredible release as a typhoon of ecstasy washed over her and she screamed Mal's name into her pillow.

With the small but noticeable contractions of her pussy and her screaming his name while she came, Mal wasn't able to hold on any longer himself and with a mighty groan, he thrust inside Kaylee one final time as his semen came gushing from his cock in repeated bursts and flowed deep within Kaylee, who climaxed a second time as she felt Mal cum and shrieked in delight as her body shook. Eventually, both orgasms subsided and left the two completely spent and exhausted on top of each other. They spent several minutes lying perfectly still with Mal still inside Kaylee as his erection slowly shrank while they tried to regain normal breathing rates and pulses.

Finally, Kaylee was able to summon the brain power to roll off of Mal and curl up beside him. She laid an arm across his abdomen and placed her hand on his side, causing an involuntary twitch from Mal's still-tense nerves. After some time, they were able to both relax and hold each other close, neither saying a word for the longest time. Eventually, Kaylee looked up into Mal's shining eyes and broke the silence.

"That was truly amazing Mal," she whispered softly. "I can't remember a time I've ever had it so good in bed. You really know how to treat a girl good."

"I'm glad you think so. Next time I'm stressed I'll be sure to know where to head to for a pick-me-up," said Mal tiredly. He had already been exhausted before he'd come looking for his coat but now he was completely spent and desperate for a long sleep. "Just please don't take my coat again, okay? All you need to do is ask."

"Whatever you say Captain."

Kaylee softly kissed him on the cheek while Mal sat up and reached over the edge of the bed to grab his coat. Kaylee for a moment thought he was going to leave but instead Mal lied back down and laid the coat over her like a blanket. Kaylee nearly teared up from the gesture and wrapped her arms around Mal's torso and snuggled into his shoulder while he held her in his strong, safe arms all night. Eventually, both smugglers managed to slip off to sleep, dreaming of what a bright new future they looked to be heading towards.