BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

BROWNCOATE3

Memories (Chapter One)
Monday, March 10, 2008

First post so be gentle... Constructive criticism is welcome and wanted but like I said, gentle... I know how we are when it comes to our crew and what we say about them...


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2445    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" he screamed as explosions and gunfire flooded his ears.

He threw himself down behind an overturned concrete pylon and listened to the bullets ricochet off the other side. He pulled the magazine out of his rifle and looked down into it. The rusted spring looked back up at him. He hurled the thing away with disgust. A shot rang out and the magazine jumped in the air.

"Sharp shot ass hole!" he shouted over the pylon.

Another shot ricocheted off the concrete and he pulled his helmet down further over his head.

"That's it Cheek, antagonize the people trying to shoot you." Bo muttered to himself.

Behind him, rocks shifted and another body hurled itself beside him.

"How's it goin Sarge?" Bo asked.

"Pretty shitty. How bout on your end kiddo?" Sargeant Reynolds asked.

"'Bout the same here old man."

A look of brief amusement passed between them. Then the gravity of the situation returned with a huge explosion. Bo slapped a magazine with full rounds into his rifle and nodded to Malcolm. Both men stood and returned fire. Bo sighted and dropped two Alliance soldiers with two quick pulls of the trigger. An almost evil cackle burst out of Mal beside him as he sprayed bullets at the remaining troops. A smile broke from Bo's stoic face as he listened to Mal spit insults as fast as bullets.

"Come on you lilly livered, purple bellies!" Malcolm screamed.

Another gunner came to Bo's left side.

"Zoe! Keep 'em busy!" Sargeant Reynolds yelled.

He leapt over the barricade and went hurtling towards the now dwindling Allaince soldiers.

"Sarge! That's suicide" Bo yelled.

"Cheek, you of all people should know that he's not going to listen to that." Zoe shouted over the gun fire.

Malcolm grabbed one of the retreating Alliance soldiers and threw him to the ground. He looked down at the soldier and kicked the man in the head and watched him promptly black out. The other soldiers were moving extremely quickly in the opposite direction. Mal shouted insults as he turned to see Bo and Zoe running towards him. Bo was motioning towards the fleeing Alliance troops and then turned and fired behind him. Zoe grabbed Mal and pulled him along with her. A huge explosion rocked the building as Mal and Zoe just made it out the door. A scream echoed from the building. It resounded louder than the explosions and seemed to drown out all other noise.

Mal sat up in a cold sweat with half the crew standing around him in the infirmary. Wires were attached to his chest and Simon had a stethoscope pressed to his heart.

"That's cold doc." Mal said shortly as he pushed it off him. "Now why y'all got me wired up to look more like Serenity than me? Is it Halloween already?"

"You were screamin' Cap'n" Kaylee said quietly.

"Your heart rate was skyrocketing. You were having a pretty vivid nightmare." Simon said as he examined one of the screens displaying the information. "Your vitals resembled some of River's while you were sleeping actually."

"Wait. Y'all been watchin me sleep? For how long?"

He looked over at the now visibly pregnant Zoe.

"We been here for about three hours, sir. You were in your bunk screaming for who knows how long before that." Zoe stated, still very military like.

River stepped between Mal and Zoe and stared deeply into Mal's eyes.

"You think he's your fault. That you could have stopped the landslide." she told him.

Mal shuddered. She was reading him. Hadn't he given her orders not to do that? She was right in any case.

(Que Firefly Theme)

(Just a start... I'll delve deeper later...)

COMMENTS

Monday, March 10, 2008 1:31 PM

TATERTOT


i see you put it up. i gotta say i think it is well writen. can't wait to read some more. :)

Monday, March 10, 2008 3:15 PM

SLUMMING


Very good first post. I'm always fascinated with how folks write the war flashbacks for Mal. I look forward to seeing where you're headed with this.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 1:14 AM

AMDOBELL


I loved this and especially the typically Mal response when he woke up to find the crew gathered round him and himself wired up like Serenity's engine. Not a bad analogy. Really excellent work, the more impressive because it is your first piece. Look forward to more! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 2:25 AM

WYTCHCROFT


an exciting start!:)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 7:24 AM

JANE0904


Good start! Always a winner to drop into action immediately, and then to find Mal was dreaming so intently for his brainwaves to resemble River's ... very interesting! Can't wait to read more.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 10:53 AM

OKAMI


Good tone,interesting premise.Run with it I'd like to see more.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 11:52 AM

DUN


nice start looking forward too seeing where it goes

Saturday, March 15, 2008 12:50 PM

ORAM


Ohhhh, I like this. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 12:53 PM

WERZBOWSKI


That's a mighty fine start.

Monday, June 9, 2008 5:36 AM

ANGELLEMARCS


How did this escape me?! I think it was cuz' I read it and the second and just didn't comment here. Well, here I go fixing it. :))

Wonderful start with great characters. BTW, loved your new one in 'Changing'.


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