Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When she woke it was to singing; a female voice singing, softly, nearby. She tried to open her eyes, but a piercingly bright light caused her to squeeze them shut tightly once more against its harshness. As she gradually pushed aside the fog in her head, she became aware of something touching her, resting on her belly. She willed her eyes open then, and in the intense light of the room made out someone sitting next to her. She squinted and blinked the figure into focus. It was River, and she appeared not to notice at first that Alex had awakened. She was singing quietly, something that sounded to Alex like a lullaby, and was looking at Alex’s abdomen as she sang. Alex realized it was River’s hand she could feel resting lightly on her. She also realized the bright lights surrounding her were the lights of the infirmary and that she was on the table. “Hey,” she said groggily, propping herself up on her elbows. River looked at her and smiled serenely, the song trailing off to a hum. “What are you doing?” Alex tried to be as nonchalant as she could, but she was terribly confused. “Babysitting,” River replied. She looked down and smiled at Alex’s belly. “Somebody had to watch the baby while you were gone.” River’s tone was matter-of-fact, and Alex nodded, unsure what to say. She looked around for Simon or anyone else, but she and River were alone. “Thanks?” she finally ventured. River patted Alex’s belly and then removed her hand. “Baby’s asleep now,” she said. She lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. Her face was peaceful, and she looked at Alex’s belly with what seemed to be almost an expression of love. Then she looked up at Alex, her face growing solemn. “It’s okay,” she said reassuringly. “Baby’s all right. They didn’t hurt him.” “Him?” River nodded. “Who him?” River pointed to Alex’s belly. Alex felt a tingle run through her. “It’s a him?” River considered it for a moment, studying her belly as though looking for the answer, frowned slightly, then nodded. “I think so,” she said. Alex didn’t know what to say. “He’s okay, though,” River said quickly. “They didn’t hurt him.” Alex hesitated, not knowing if she should pursue River’s line of thought. “Who are ‘they’?” she finally asked. “The men,” River said. She looked into Alex’s eyes. “The man with the big hands...and the rest.” Alex closed her eyes again as a flash of the memory hit her and made her head swim. She kept her eyes closed and focused on her breathing until it passed. Then she looked back at River. “What happened to me?” she asked her. “Do you know why I’m in here?” River started to answer her, then she abruptly turned away and looked at the closed infirmary door. “Gotta go—got a job to do,” she said, rising and starting away. “I thought you had a job already—you were babysitting...right?” “Not me,” River said, turning back to her. “You. You have a job to do.” She opened the door to the sounds of a commotion outside. Footsteps, lots of them, coming closer, mingled with a chorus of voices all talking over one another: “What happened?” “Where’s Simon? Where’s the doc?” “I’m okay!” “Get him to the infirmary!” “Simon! We need ya down here!” “Just...put me down! I’m fine!” “Hurry!” Then the crowd was at the infirmary entrance. River stepped lightly out of the way as Jayne, Zoë and Book crowded into the room, carrying someone between them. Alex saw the flash of brown, and the boots, and then the drops of blood hitting the floor and spattering the others. They were carrying him face down. She sat upright on the table, forgetting about the men, and River, and even the baby for the moment. “Mal!” she exclaimed in alarm, her heart suddenly in her throat. She instinctively threw back the blanket covering her and slid to the floor. Simon entered, saw her getting off the table, and ran to her. “No, Alex, don’t...get back up there!” He turned to Zoë. “What happened?” He started away, then, when Alex didn’t return to the bed, grabbed her and tried to force her back down. “Alex, you can’t get up...you passed out...” Then, to the others again, “What’s going on—“ “He got shot,” Zoë said as she let the second bed down from the wall. “Yeah, in my ass!” Mal whined. “Is he okay?” Alex asked, feeling panicky again, but not for herself this time. She hobbled away from the table. “Here—put him here.” “Alex, get—“ Simon began again. “I’m gonna help,” Alex said. Mal, who was struggling and protesting, suddenly spotted Alex. “What happened? Why’s she in here?” he asked Simon. “She passed out,” Simon said. “Alex, you need to—“ “Why’d she pass out?” Mal demanded. He looked at Alex, his face contorted with pain and now anxiety. “Why you passin’ out?” “Captain—“ Zoë began. “I’m a nurse! I’m helping! Here...put him here.” Alex patted the table. “Please.” They put Mal on the table, still face down. “Alex, then take the other bed, please,“ Simon tried again. Kaylee came up behind her. “Alex, you should do what Simon—“ she began. “DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO GODDAMN DO!” Alex yelled, and then stood wide-eyed, not quite believing what had come out of her mouth. The room fell silent. Mal was staring at her, agape. “Where’d you get that mouth?” he asked incredulously. “My kid ain’t gonna talk like that, is it?” He looked around at the others. “Tell me my kid ain’t gonna talk like that!” Zoë shared a glance with Wash, who had come to stand in the doorway, and one corner of her mouth twitched slightly. “Sir, I’m sure no child of yours would ever talk like that,” she said, giving Mal a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Wash snickered aloud. Mal groaned and buried his face in the pillow. “Don’t nobody care that I got shot in the ass?” he moaned forlornly, his voice muffled. “’Course we care, Cap’n,” Kaylee assured him, exchanging a pitying look with Zoë over Mal’s back. “It’s a fine ass...don’t want it comin’ to no harm!” Jayne snorted. “Yeah, it’s a fine ass—too bad it’s on his shoulders!” Mal’s head snapped up and he glared at Jayne as Wash brayed with laughter and turned quickly to face the exit, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “Coulda been worse sir...coulda been your heart,” Zoë pointed out. “’Least that’s somethin’ he doesn’t use!” Jayne said, and Wash stomped his foot and shoved a fist against his mouth to keep from laughing aloud again. “Husband...” Zoë warned from across the room. “What’s so ruttin’ funny about this?” Mal protested, and Simon pushed his head back down onto the pillow. “Lay still,” he said, sounding annoyed. He turned to Alex. “Okay...if you insist on helping, I need an IV started, I need to you get him sedated and prepped, and I need the extractor set up.” Alex nodded, thankful for something constructive to do. While the others joked, she had already prepared the IV setup and loaded the hypo gun with sedative. She slipped a crutch under one arm for support and went to Mal’s side. He looked up at her with worried eyes. She pressed the gun against his neck and activated it. He winced and then caught her eye again. “Don’t you be passin’ out no more,” he warned. She put a hand on his head and stroked his hair as he began to relax. “You listen to what the doc says...” His eyes fell to her belly, inches from his face. He touched it as he began to fade out, his fingertips sliding over the roundness. Alex felt her eyes grow moist, and she didn’t dare look up. She could feel every eye in the room on her, observing this moment. “Don’t you ever tell my kid about this,” Mal slurred. His fingers began to go limp and his hand slowly fell away. “I don’t want my kid to know...I got shot...in the ass.” He let out a final sigh as he drifted into sleep. The silence that followed was heavy, but only for a beat. Then Simon mercifully spoke, all business. “All right, everybody,” he said, motioning for the exit, “We need to get to work. Everybody not helping...give us some space, please.” As the crowd began to thin, he looked up at Alex. “Sure you wanna do this?” She nodded decisively. “All right then, nurse,” Simon said with a slight smile. He began removing Mal’s coat. “Let’s get the IV in and get that bullet out.” Alex gratefully went to work. Work was good. It took her mind off the horrible visions forcing their way into her mind—things she’d hoped to remember, and now wished she had not. She was sorry it had to be Mal on the table being tended to, but having something to do was a blessing. She threw herself into the task before her and, for a little while, was able to block out the pain, the fear and the uncertainty and just do what she did best—be a nurse and help fix somebody else. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Chapter 33. Back to Chapter 31.