Disclaimers: Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The snow was getting deep around the end of the uprooted tree, obscuring Alex’s view of the woods around her. It made her feel more secure, knowing her tracks were being covered over and she was sheltered from the eyes of those who might want to do her further harm. She relaxed the grip somewhat on her gun. At first everything hurt. Everything. There was not one part of her that didn’t hurt in some way. Until now, she had never really been aware just how many different types of pain the human body could experience. There was the dull ache. The throbbing pain. The burning pain. The stabbing pain. Alex paid attention to the pain, and what part of her hurt in what way. It kept her mind busy. At some point, seemingly an interminable amount of time later, the daylight began to fade, and she became aware that the pain was fading, too. It was a relief, in a way, but not so good in other ways. What was replacing it was numbing cold, moving stealthily up, starting at her feet and working its way through her entire body. Alex remembered learning in nursing school that when the body starts to shut down and is no longer struggling to survive, the pain response is no longer necessary. She supposed that was happening to her now. Her mind felt remarkably clear, all things considered, but her body was no longer responding. Strangely, the fear was melting away, too. There was only some lingering regret about leaving her loved ones in this way. Eventually, as night fell, even the cold started to fade. From where she lay, if she looked straight up through the roots of the deadfall surrounding her, she could make out a little piece of the night sky. The snow had stopped, and she could see stars and the outlines of other moons and planets, far away from her part of the ‘verse. She thought of her family, on a very distant planet. She had talked to her mama every day before the riots started. Now, after not hearing from her for days and seeing the news reports that were certainly being broadwaved by now, Mama probably assumed the worst had happened. I’m so sorry Mama, she thought. I was trying to help. I was doing this for you. I never meant for any of this to happen, to cause you any more hardship and pain. She wished she could hug Mama, and her brother too, just one more time. She thought of her husband then. She had lost him long ago, a casualty of the war. He had made it home, but couldn’t cope with what he had been through, and took his own life shortly thereafter. Alex had struggled to make peace with what had happened; to understand why he had done what he’d done; and to deal with the mixed emotions of it all. She loved him so much. Yet she was angry with him for taking the coward’s way out, for refusing her help, for leaving her that way. She would have given anything for the chance to talk to him one last time so she could ask him why... She supposed if loved ones were reunited in death she would have that chance soon enough. And she thought of Mal. She had known him such a short time...yet what a time it had turned out to be. She looked up at the planets and stars again, and wondered where in that great big ‘verse he was now. He had not been doing so well when she met him. She truly hoped he was doing better and that he was finding the peace she so wished for him to find. She managed a weak smile as she thought of him. The brief time she had spent with him was the warmest she had felt since Philip had died. She wondered if he ever thought of her. After awhile, with the pain gone, and the cold gone, the stars began to fade out, too. The thoughts of her time on Serenity were the last things to go before Alex closed her eyes and let everything fade away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to Chapter 7.

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