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The Pillowbook of Inara Serra: Part V Book of Waking Dreams
Friday, September 8, 2006

It's time to open your eyes and see what's really in the verse.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2643    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

31. Who can find a virtuous woman?

"Who can find a virtuous woman?"

On Earth-That-Was virtue was invariably linked with morality. A woman could only be virtuous if she remained chaste.

For our Prima Noctes, Companions receive a ruby choker. It marks our caste and acts as a constant reminder of our value and virtue in a verse that has forgotten the price of beauty. Ishtar gave me mine the night I embraced by first client. Tonight she came to take it all away.

Ishtar has grown old. Her once beguiling face is deeply lined and a curtain of thinning white hair covers her back. She leaned heavily on her silver cane as she hobbled over to sit in the chair opposite to me. But her voice is still strong and beautiful. The Gods have been kind in that one aspect. She raised it addressing me as if I was a mere novice, “The Enclave met and voted. The risk Láng may find you is too great.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Your parents are dead, a shuttle accident. There is nothing left to restrain him.” Ishtar breathed deeply, “You must leave House Madrassa.”

The words should have hurt more than they did. There is a point when dreams invade reality and you can’t scream to wake yourself up. There is a point beyond pain, when you have lost all that you love and there is nothing left to feel. “I understand. May I have sometime to make the necessary arrangements.” I took the rubies and placed them in her hand.

I could not tell if it was emotion or the disease slowly eating away at her system that deprived her of her once widely praised grace. But Ishtar’s hands shook as she held my wrist and looked into my eyes, “I was very selfish, all those years ago. I should have sent you faraway. I think you might have been happy on a farm or a ranch, perhaps.”

“We will never know. Will we, Holy Mother?”

Trembling, she placed the rubies back in my hand and I helped her to stand. “I will find a way to make amends,” she promised, embracing me. She hobbled toward the door but stopped and turned to look at me. “Inara. You are worth more than those stones. When the time comes, do not sell yourself cheaply.”

Everything is slipping away and all I have left to hold on to are these cold jewels in my hand.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”

The Pillow Book of Inara Serra Part V: Book of Waking Dreams

**** Reynolds Ranch ****

Everyday the ritual was the same. Serenity rose before dawn-- with the chickens, as the locals might say. Dressed in clothing that had neither shape nor color, she headed out into the fields to perform the hundred menial tasks whose names he’d forgotten.

There was a certain grace to the situation’s many contradictions. Her hands were small and callused; but her fingers were tapered, far better suited to dancing across a dulcimer than mowing hay and feeding livestock. Those hands gave life to a calf one day and take it from a heifer the next. They built fences and chopped wood. She performed all of it like sleepwalker, only wakening just before twilight when she grabbed her basket of treats and sets off into the woods.

He stood watching, hidden by the shadows of the trees; waiting for her to come to him.

****Londonium, Láng Estate****

Kali awoke drenched in sweat. She could still taste the water in her mouth, feel the weeds wrapped around her legs. Of the many failures in her life, that one prevailed as her deepest regret. But, today would bring more. Shan Yu had found the traitor. He waited for her at House Hetaira.

Chancellor Láng stirred beside her. “What is it mei-mei?” he asked, reaching for her. He was used to her nightmares. Once upon a time he had the power to take away.

“I want you to take me back to Hong Lou Meng,” she whispered, leaning into his creeping touch.

The request awakened him fully. “What?” He sat up regarding his changeable mistress. “But you always hated it there.”

“I want to go home. Will you take me there?”

“Of course, I . . .”

“Good,” she said cutting him off while gracing him with a radiant smile he hadn’t seen for ages. “Today. We can go today.”

“Pina,” he reasoned. “I have meetings.”

Clouds descended over the smile so quickly he had to question its existence. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she condescended, “I forgot there’s that execution after breakfast and then a hair cut.”

“That’s not fair. We’re in the middle of a war.”

“A war you have the power to stop. Declare an armistice, negotiate with the Independents. You can still walk away from this. I know you’re tired. . .”

He had had enough, “What I am tired of, madam, is my mistress thinking she has the right to dictate policy. The Lángs built this empire. Father beat back the first wave of Browncoats. I will do the same. You may have no sense of family honor, but I do. I will not be the one to lose everything my ancestors bled for.”

****Eumenide ****

“This is a good land, a fertile land, and we shall call it . . . Joshonia.”

“Nay, we shall call Ellenwood. Death to the tyrant Josh!”

“Damn your sudden but inevitable betrayal.” They both laughed.

“Betrayal’s just the nature of the verse.” Ching Shi walked in on Josh and Sue Ellen sitting on the bed playing with his dinosaurs. Looking at the pair she didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or shoot them. “We just got new orders, I need your help dragging the Commander out of his latest stupor.”

“Let him rot, I’m busy!” Josh snapped as he consciously put a bit of distance between himself and Sue Ellen.

“Ah, clearly you’re confused about out roles,” Shi began. “See, she’s the skank that will hump anything with a pulse, biologic or electric.”

“Hey, don’t take your frustrations out on me,” Sue Ellen shouted.

“Oh go fuck something,” Shi shot back. “Where was I? Oh yes. I’m the judgmental bitch who tells everyone what to do. And you, my friend,” she said staring down Josh, “are the lovable sap who accepts everybody as they are while strongly encouraging them to mend their sinful ways.”

Clearly not amused, he replied, “This ain’t gonna to work.”

“I wasn’t asking,” she said grabbing his arm and hauling him off the bed. “Now move your rutting ass!”

He pushed her off violently, “He left them to die there, Shi. Just like he did to my parents! That’s what he does. Times get tough and Malcolm Reynolds runs to save his hide, it don’t matter who gets hurt in the process.”

“That’s not fair Josh,” Sue Ellen said quietly. “The entire fleet is under orders to stay well and clear of Shadow.”

“You,” Shi stopped herself realizing that Sue Ellen was agreeing with her. “She’s right. That decision most probably saved our lives.”

“You don’t turn your back on family. ‘Course, you wouldn’t understand what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

Shi slammed her first into the wall, just narrowly missing Josh’s already broken nose, “Don’t ever talk about my family.” She walked out.

****House Hetaira****

Kali recognized him. Takashi Miike had been with the family for years. They had played together as children. He hung on the Saint-Andrew’s cross in the dungeon of House Hetaira. The sight of his broken body hanging there angered her. While the Guild employed their own interrogators, they lacked formal training. Like all things, interrogation took finesse, but there was no art to what had happened here. *We are no better than the Alliance.*

“Takashi-chan,” she bowed, “It brings me much pleasure to have you here. You were always a naughty little boy. Bad boys like you usually have to spend thousands credits and have a slew of recommendations before they can enter this room.” Kali lifted her veil and smiled into the dawning look of recognition and horror spread across her victim’s face. “But I’ll make a special exception for you, ototo.”

He began to beg. “Waga Reifujin, if I had known it was you. . .”

“You would have what? Charged more? Three hundred pieces of platinum is already quite generous.”

“I told him nothing.”

“Shh, you shame us both by lying.” Kali opened an ebony box and withdrew a long silver needle. “See, I’ve brought you presents.” She adeptly ran it across her forehead and down her cheek before sliding it into her mouth. She sucked on it a moment before drawing it out, cutting herself. “Your mother used to do this for me when I was little girl,” she said with bloodied lips as she caressed him with the needle. “I would get a headache and she would use the pins to take the pain away. It was only later that I learned that the art worked both ways.”

“Please . . .”

Kali ignored him. “Did you know that it takes less than a pound of pressure to piece human flesh?” She placed her blue-gloved hand on his chest and slipped the needle between her fingers. “We’re fragile creatures,” she said. “The trick is knowing exactly where to press,” Kali finished slowly twisting the needle into his soft tissue. Her laughter was deep and throaty, edged with practiced seduction. It mixed surprisingly well with his screams.

****Shadow****

Jayne jammed another chunk of pie into his mouth as he drank thirstily from the flask, smacking his lips to savor the welcoming taste of Sarah’s cider. “You want some, Kid?”

Serenity sat beside him at the mouth of the cave admiring Jayne’s seeming supernatural ability to eat, drink, and talk at the same time. Weren’t a pretty sight, but ‘twas one she sorely missed. “No thanks. I’ve sworn off spirits for the time being.” She laughed self-consciously. “They don’t sit too well with my stomach.”

Jayne smiled even as he crammed more pie into his mouth, “Jonah’s fergotten all about that little incident. Heck, Helen tell’s me some fella’s even ask fer that. I remember this guy I used ta run with . . .”

Serenity held up her hands, “Too much information!!” She grabbed the flask from him and drank a few swigs to settle her suddenly rolling stomach. “How they treatin’ you at The Other Heart of Gold any ways? Looks like they ain’t feedin’ you none.”

Jayne swallowed and fought the urge to belch. Home cookin’ weren’t the only reason why he trekked out here everyday. “Great! A man’s natural place is in a whorehouse. Helen’s thrilled ta have me all to herself. Jonah keeps askin’ after you and when y’re comin’ back ta town. I think he’s sweet on you,” he said wiggling those caterpillars that passed for eyebrows.

“For reals?” she asked, brightening a bit. “I mean . . . well . . . I gots other stuff on my mind. Things been tough round the ranch. Most of them worthless hands run off the day after you . . . ah . . . left. Kaylee needs me to help pick up the slack. I ain’t got time to go to town.”

“Well if she needs another hand, I can pitch in.” The truth was that Jayne missed the ranch and kept waiting to hear he could come back. He missed Kaylee and wanted to keep an eye on her, even if it was only through Serenity’s garbled reports. People round The Other Heart of Gold talked too much sense, he longed for angst filled teenage ramblings and even River’s moon brained nonsense.

Serenity shook her head sadly. “Kaylee’s still mighty niao. I keeps askin’ but. . .”

“Oh.”

“But I’ll keep at her. Between my whinin’ and Sarah grumblin’ ‘bout there bein’ too much food around without you to finish it, she’ll be beggin’ ya to come back in no time.”

Jayne started to take another bite, but threw the pie down in disgust, “Yeah Nitty, whatever you say. You best be goin’. It’s getting dark and I wouldn’t want anyone to worry. Purplebellies might be out there.”

Serenity started to put away the remains of supper. “Don’t see what the big deal is anyway. For all every body talks ‘bout the big scary Alliance not much has changed round here in the week since they came. ‘Part from the patrol that came round and talked to Kaylee for a couple minutes the other day, ya wouldn’t even know they were here.” She smiled as she pulled the long hunting knife Jayne had given her for her birthday out of her basket. “Sides, any Purplebellie messes with me gonna have ta talk ta Bessie here.”

Jayne shook his head. “You gotta big mouth on ya.”

“Runs in the family,” she said pointedly as she hugged him.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

They joined hands and left the cave. Serenity skipped while loudly humming the Hero of Canton as Jayne trudged by her side. Both were oblivious to the danger until the click of rifles stopped them dead in their tracks.

****House Hetaira****

He was stronger than he looked. Takashi took multiple pins in his chest and eyes without breaking. The full story only came out after Kali took the razor wire and began to saw away at his ankle. He had been in General Atherton Wing’s employment for less than a month, recruited shortly after the Shadow vote was taken. His mission was to watch the Ambassador and Mai reporting on their movements. To his knowledge, none of the other servants had been bought. Though she took his little finger-- just to be sure.

“You’ve done well, ototo; I believe you.”

“The others. Don’t punish the others,” he mewed, reduced to entreaties and tears. “I swear they had nothing to do with this.”

“They have always been loyal. I will take care of them. No reprisals,” she promised.

“Thank you my Lady. I remember when we . . .”

“Please stop.” Kali said softly. She removed her gloves and the Lang’s signet ring. She held the latter over a candle watching the platinum turn red, then white in the flame. “They are safe. But you, little brother, I cannot save.” She pressed the metal into his forehead, branding him with the mark of the wolf.

“Well done, Excellency,” Shan Yu said emerging from the dungeon’s shadows.

“Cut him down.” Kali absently waved her delicate hand in the direction of the unconscious man. “Have him wiped and dump him on Atherton’s door step,” she ordered.

“Is it wise to tip our hand that way?” inquired the Councilor.

“I guess you should drop by and observe your friend’s reaction to our little message,” she snapped sarcastically.

“Of course, Madame. But there still may be traitors amongst us. Your staff must be questioned,” the little man insisted.

Her head hurt, she had neither the time nor the patience for this. Wing knew about Summers. *Everything is falling apart.* “Ni ta ma de. Tianxia suoyoude ren dou gaisi including the Guild. No one touches them!”

“Yes, Excellency.” Shan Yu bowed, deferentially backing out of the room.

Kali gently took her victim’s pulse and removed the needles. She had been careful not to cause any permanent damage to his vital organs. Looking around to confirm that there was no one but the two of them in the room she serenely stepped into a dark corner and vomited there. Rising, she delicately wiped her mouth off and left the room.

“Get me a secure cortex link to House Madrassa.”

****The Eumenide****

Sue Ellen hurried after Shi, “What was he talkin’ about?”

“Nothin’,” Shi spat.

Sue Ellen stepped in front of her, blocking Ching Shi’s path. “How’s about we pretend to like each other, just this once. Why did what he say that got to you so bad?”

Shi slumped down on to the corridor floor. “I’m from Leda. My parent’s and I were off world when the riots broke out and the Alliance terra bombed the place.” She counted her breadths trying to control the emotions raging inside of her. “We moved around a bunch after that. We were on Higgin’s moon when the Alliance came looking for volunteers. Lined all us mudder up and asked a bunch of questions like planet of origin and reason for leaving. My parents were dumb enough to tell the truth. Gorram purplebellie shot them right there, called them terrorists. The soldiers dragged the bodies away and the line continued,” she finished.

“You saw all that, didn’t ya?” Sue Ellen asked already knowing the answer.

“I was right behind them. I stepped up and lied through my teeth. Even volunteered to join up, anything to save my hide. About a week later I stowed away on a transport ship and joined the Browncoats.”

Sue Ellen sat down on the floor by Shi, careful not to touch her, “And you told Josh?”

“Got drunk one night, started singing the Hero of Canton. Turns out, Josh’s uncle is none other than the Jayne Cobb. He asked how I knew the song and the story just kinda came out.”

They were both silent for a long time. Shi looked like she was on the brink of crying, so Sue Ellen piped up, “Whiskey makes people all sorts of truthsome. I walked in on the Commander passed out on the table the other night. He was havin’ some kinda awful dream. He was holdin’ half of this real purdy rock like his life depended on it. He ‘kept sayin’ ‘I killed her. It’s my fault.’” So I woke him up.

“And?”

“He told me all sorts of things, most of which I won’t repeat. But he did say, ‘Inara almost died giving birth to Serenity. She still would die for her. She would kill for her.”

“Well, I’m terribly relieved we can scratch the Commander’s whelp off our list of concerns.”

****Shadow*****

“Well, well, well, look what we have here,” said the first.

“Looks like a prairie harpy and her trick,” replied the second.

Jayne scanned the scene. He counted four, all with weapons trained on either him or the Kid. For all he knew there could be more. He slowly raised his hands hoping that Serenity would follow suit. “We ain’t botherin’ no one.”

The second wrapped his filthy arm around a frozen Serenity. “She’s botherin’ me.” He leisurely licked the side of her face. “Got me all sorts of hot and bothered.”

Jayne breathed deeply, dampening down his rage, “You best leave her be ‘fore I have to rip your tongue right out of your mouth, boy.”

The first, apparently the leader, turned and smiled at Jayne, “Easy there grandpa. This one looks a bit young for. . .” Pop! His head exploded.

Serenity gripped the knife in her basket and spun planting it deep in the neck of the solider fondling her. With a twist of the blade she broke the jugular. His blood baptized her as she stood watching his body crumple to the ground.

Pop! The third purplebellie looked confused as he watched red stain spreading across his chest. “Why?”

Jayne ran forward and grabbed the last from behind taking his gun. “I got your friend,” he shouted. “Come on out or I’ll blow his ruttin’ head off.”

“Be my guest.” A boy dressed in surprisingly clean fatigues walked out of the forest. “Unlike you, I don’t make a habit of killing my friends,” he said with a wink at Jayne as he carefully laid his rifle on the ground.

Jayne wasn’t buying it and tightened his grip on the hostage. “And just who the diyu are you?”

“Summers, Matthew Summers. Commander Reynolds figured there might be Alliance trouble. He sent to look after the girl.”

“And you expect me to take your word for that? Gosh Matt, you think I’m as dumb as I look?”

“Dumber, if half of what Mal tells me is true.”

“Hey, I’m the one’s whose friggin’ armed. . .” Jayne stopped, watching in horror as a blood cloaked Serenity calmly strode directly up to the stranger. She picked up the rifle and grasped its barrel. There was a sharp intake of breadth.

Her voice was pained. “He’s telling the truth.”

Gorram girl had lost her mind. “Nitty, let me handle this.”

She marched back over to Jayne and held up her singed palm. “The rifle’s still hot. He was the shooter.”

“That don’t mean nothin’.”

“No Jayne,” she turned and looked at the man. “It means that if he wanted us dead, we’d be on the ground like them two.”

Spice hung in the air. Summers, taken aback, genuinely smiled. “Penny for the smart lady.”

Serenity returned the gun to him. “So, champion, what we gonna do about this mess?”

Her mind was screaming. The fingers itched to claw the gore from her face and hair, but outwardly she was a serene as her name, as her mother. The little one was stronger than she looked. “Get out of here. I’ll take care of this,” he promised.

“Thank you.” She walked back and took the merc’s hand. “Let’s go.”

Jayne couldn’t believe his eyes or ears, the Kid had thoroughly cracked. “Nitty . . . he. . . we . . . Gorramit!” He kicked the solider kneeling at his feet, grunting with satisfaction when he heard a rib snap.

“Jayne,” the graceful adult began to fade. In her place stood a child on the brink of tears. “I wanna go home.”

He never could say no to her. “Ok baby girl, we’ll go home.” He marched Serenity past Summers. “Anything happens and I’ll . . .”

“What push me out the airlock?”

The merc grunted immaterial threats as he kept walking with the girl by his side. *Hell, Mal must have sent the little bastard.* They were the only ones that knew about what happened after Ariel.

Summers watched them go. The air still reeked of her and his mouth watered slightly. Sanguinity never tasted so good.

“Nah-ah Johnny,” Summers said training the rifle directly at the solider struggling to his feet without taking his eyes of the departing pair. “You and I aren’t done yet.”

Once Jayne and Serenity were out of sight, he returned his attention to the solider.

“Go on and shoot. I will tell you nothing.”

Summer’s chucked the solider under the chin, “You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know, Johnny.”

John’s head felt funny. “How do you know my name?”

“I know a lot of things. I know about the nosebleeds.” A few drops of blood fell to the ground. “The ear aches.” John’s ears began to ring as pain throbbed through his head. “Heck, I even know that you used to wet your bed.” His bladder broke. The warm fragrant liquid chased the last of the girl’s smell away.

“What are you doing to me?”

Summers moved in closer to whisper in his prey’s ear. “I know what you and the boys did to that grunt in basic. She killed herself three days later. Why would you want to do that to her? Knowing what it felt like.”

“Stop it,” John whimpered.

“Such a weak little runt, stewing in your own piss.” The creature pressed on watching the red flow faster. “Maybe you were asking for it. Maybe she was.”

“No!”

“Maybe we all are. But you’re going to do right by my lady. You will return to your superiors and tell them that your squadron was ambushed. Congratulations, you were the only survivor and killed the Browncoat sympathizers. I trust you to produce the proper evidence. Now, look at me.” Summer’s pulled John’s hair back forcing the blood stained eyes open. “LOOK AT ME! I’ll show you what real nightmares are made of.”

Summer’s lived his life based on one solitary principle: Servant or solider, strip away the surface and we’re all just flesh and screams.

****The Eumenide****

Time had passed, but the two women remained seated on the cold metal floor of the corridor. It had been a long time since either had talked, really talked to another soul. It felt good, neither was quite ready to give this up and return to reality.

“Sue Ellen, why do you . . . how shall I put it?”

“I believe the phrase was ‘hump anything with a pulse.’”

“Yeah that,” Shi said actually blushing at how harsh her words sounded.

The mechanic and the pilot had one thing in common; neither had ever felt the need to justify their choices to anyone. But since they were sharing, the Sue Ellen tried to explain, “Well, if you think about it, my job, my life is all about killin’ folk.”

“Yeah the people who try to kill us!”

“True, but take away the war, the uniform, the majority of them is just folk, like you and me. They got families, friends, dreams, and the such. Most of the time it don’t bother me. Can’t afford to get all philosophical like in the middle of a firefight or while building a bomb. But here in the Black, when there’s nothin’ else ta do, it hurts somethin’ fierce.”

“So you fuck anything that moves?”

Sue Ellen shrugged. “Take away the kinky toys and sex is about life, two people, more if you’re lucky,” she smiled, “comin’ together to celebrate each other, get lost in each others bodies. That’s living, it can even make a life. Let’s face it; all of us is side characters. We’ll most probably die and no one’ll notice or care. While I’m here, I wanna feel like I’m alive.”

Shi shook her head. “You know, you’re pretty deep for a skanky ho.”

“Yeah, well you listen pretty good for a hard assed, judgmental bitch.”

“I guess we should get off our rumps and revive the sleeping lush.”

“Yep, let’s do that.”

Shi paused in front of the Commander’s door. “You won’t tell anybody about my. . . what we talked about.”

“It will just stay between us girls,” Sue Ellen smiled.

**** Reynolds Ranch ****

“They’re here!” River chirped.

Kaylee stopped her pacing in time to see Jayne and a blood soaked Serenity walk through the door. She ran and pulled her girl away from him. “What the hell did you do to her?”

River opened her mouth to explain, but Serenity spoke first. “It ain’t Jayne’s fault, á yi. I was taken him supper. They don’t feed him good at the Other Heart of Gold. He were walkin’ me back, like he always does and,” she swallowed. “And, well, they. . . they were just there. They was sayin’ nasty things and, then, pop. The first one just fell down. I. . . I took Bessie and I . . .” She paused, trying to order the story in her head. “I left Bessie out there. I gotta go get her.” Serenity turned quickly towards the door and tripped over her own feet falling to the floor. “I left Bessie inside him,” she wailed.

Kaylee walked over quickly and helped Serenity to her feet. That’s what mothers do. They pick us up when we fall. “This ain’t your fault! You here me?” Kiss it and make it all better; at least they try to. “Whatever you done, it ain’t no less that that hundan deserved.”

Serenity nodded weakly and let Kaylee walk her up the stair. “It ain’t Jayne’s fault,” she muttered mostly to herself. “He really don’t belong in that whorehouse. Man’s place is with his family. They don’t feed him right. He was walkin’ me home and . . .”

Kaylee crooned, “I know baby, I know. I ain’t mad at Jayne.”

“Then he can stay?” Serenity begged, “Please á yi, don’t send him away again.”

“Jayne can stay. But you don’t want him seein’ you like this. Let’s go upstairs and get you cleaned up. Then we’ll all have some coco, you, me, River, Sarah, even Jayne. Would you like that baby?”

“Yes please.” Serenity nodded and beamed a brittle smile at her merc-father. “See, told ya you’d be back home soon. Now everything will be better. Matt will come and if they try to hurt me again he’ll make them go pop. Just like the balloons Papa used ta bring me on my birthday.” she giggled. “Pop!”

****House Hetaira****

Kahli knelt in deep abasement before the wall sized cortex screen. “Tian jiàng, Shen Sheng Wuh de Ma.” A face, once fair, but now bloated with age and decadence glared down at her.

“Inara, just as beautiful as ever. Really my dear you must tell me your secret,” Shan Li purred.

“Forgive me, Holy Mother, but I have no time for niceties. There may be a problem concerning Shadow.”

“But I thought you had dealt with the spy?”

*Merciful Buddah, Shan Yu works fast.* “The spy has been eliminated, but my operative may have been compromised.”

It gave Li immeasurable pleasure to watch Inara squirm. “My deepest sympathies, but what would you have us do?”

“Kill Wing.”

“Impracticable, the man is too inept for us to loose.”

Despite years of training, Inara couldn’t keep the desperation out of her voice, “I know you have agents on Shadow; it would be so simple to have one of them confirm that Summers has not been turned.”

“Impossible, we will not risk one of our people by having them communicate with your pet freak.”

“Then do something. Ishtar promised the Guild’s full support if I agreed to bring down the Chancellor and Blue Sun.”

“And you have it. All your communiqués are transmitted to the Browncoats; a considerable portion of our coffers go to support the cause. But the child plays no part in this game. Any secondary promises died with Ishtar.”

“Shan Li,” Inara pleaded, “you are a mother too. Surely you must understand.”

“I understand that brat divides your loyalties. You could have brought her to us all those years ago, but your passion for the pirate clouded your judgment then. I understand that you have made your bed. Now, my dear, I’m afraid you’ll just have to rot in it.”

Inara rose but kept her head bowed in respect. “You have made your position clear. Kindly allow me the privilege of articulating mine.” She didn't wait for Shan Li to give her consent. “I gave up everything to serve the Guild. Serenity is all I have left.”

Shan Li couldn’t hide her smirk, “That is touching. I still don’t see how your personal affairs concern the Guild.”

“They should matter, because if anything happens to my daughter, I will tell the Chancellor everything. The Guild will be disbanded, the temples razed, and I’ll personally salt the earth of the sacred gardens, just for fun. By the time I’m done, a Companion will be lucky if a client will allow her to pay to gen houzi bi diou shi.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Shan Li’s breathing rate had markedly increased. Her cheeks were flushed and a single drop of sweat trickled down her face. She knew that Inara wasn’t lying.

“When I first came seeking sanctuary from the Guild, you called me a curse. Then you knew exactly who and what I was. I respectfully suggest you cleave to that memory in our future communications. Jiang fu, Shen Sheng Wuh de Ma.”

**** Reynolds Ranch****

River had been the one he worried about. An older, slower model, unquestionably out of her mind; they were, still, essentially the same type of entity. She laughed at him. “Poor baby, doesn’t even know the story or even the character he’s supposed to play. Prince? Huntsman? Godfather Death? Doesn’t know Red Riding Hood is actually a Wolf.” Maybe she was too far-gone to detect the threat. “Big eyes to see your soul. Big mouth to swallow you whole,” she sang. The rest were trusting people. Good people. Salt of the earth, one might say. Even the merc. It was all too easy to use these “qualities” against them. In their heart of hearts they wanted to believe that the Captain cared about them; that he wouldn’t abandon his own. A promise here, a witty anecdote the past there and Summers was in.

They gave him a good meal and his pick of cots in the nearly empty ranch hand dormitory. He gave them the assurances they longed for: “Yes, the bodies are gone.” “No, there shouldn’t be any more Alliance trouble for the time being.” He asked after the girl: “Is Serenity alright?” “I brought her basket back.” “Yes, a smother is just the thing to help her through the night.” All this he performed with a warm, winning smile. For the inhabitants of the Reynolds Ranch it seemed that, again, River was right; God had sent a gift to help them through these troubled times. Neither River nor Summers bothered to correct the gender in their thoughts.

He bided his time, waiting until midnight, *country folk go to retire so early,* to make his way back to the house. Up the stairs and round the bend to the right where his mission lay sleeping.

The room wasn’t her. The walls were a faded pink, lined with decrepit stuffed animals and Russian nesting dolls. Arranged between these were different rocks accompanied with little cards detailing their names and origin in immature calligraphy. There were also drawings of an old, Firefly class ship and the people who once called it home. A handmade rag carpet, wicker furniture gone gray with age; it was the room of a child. Still, the air was thick with her scent. Summers could barely breath for wanting . . . What he could not say.

In the bed, the girl stirred. She dreamt of that afternoon, reliving her first kill over and over again in graphic detail. Serenity whimpered in her sleep and clutched a broken geo stone tighter. Its jagged edges cut through her calluses, making faint red beads appear on the pillow. It looked like she wept in a state of passion.

Any other place, any other person, he would have found the sight charming. Suffering, like fine wine, was to be savored. But it didn’t look right on her; and that scared him more than anything had in a long time. He shook himself mentally. *Emotions are the chains that others use to control us.*

Summers gently kissed her brow and took the dreams away. He couldn’t help but smile as she relaxed and rolled over to fit herself more comfortably around the stone she slept with. *Maybe in the next life.*

Summers reached into Serenity’s basket and removed Bessie, raising the blade high as a dark red haze infused his vision.

Japanese

Chan- an informal title used for young children and very close friends or family members. Ototo- younger brother Waga Reifujin- My Lady

Chinese Niao- pissed Tianxia suoyoude ren dou gaisi- Fuck you. Damn everyone in the verse. Á yi- Auntie Tian jiàng, Shen Sheng Wuh de Ma- All praise and glory, Holy Mother gen houzi bi diou shi- Engage in a feces-hurling contest with a monkey Jiang Fu- Blessings from heaven

COMMENTS

Sunday, September 10, 2006 10:05 AM

ERYN


OMG! you're back! with another absolutely amazing installment... thank you so much for sharing again - i love your work!


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Many months later, a new chapter

The Pillowbook of Inara Serra: Part V Book of Waking Dreams
It's time to open your eyes and see what's really in the verse.

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Now I lay me down to sleep. . .

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Since I lack both imagination and poetic talent, the entries in this series are based on some of my favorite love poems. The first is in honor of Edna St. Vincent Millay’s, Thursday, one of the greatest breakup poems ever written.