BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ROMANCE

HUMBUG

Competition: Part 1
Tuesday, July 25, 2006

romanceguru suggested the plot bunny for this over at Live Journal: She requested a Rayne story with Mal as the 'other man' vying for River's affection. Expect lots of Angst for River, and lots of fun too!


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2412    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Title: River’s Dilemma Series Title: Competition Author: Humbug Rating: PG13 Fandom: Firefly Word Count: 883 Summary: Malcontent: Jayne and Mal compete for River’s affection. Warning: The aim of Malcontent is to put Mal through as many painful situations as possible. Disclaimer: Joss is Boss. I’m just borrowing his characters for fun!!

Authors Note: Thanks to bookaddict for betaing.

And thanks romanceguru for the plot bunny!

************************* ta ma de = F*** me blind wod e ma = mother of God mei mei = little sister hua li = gorgeous *************************

River’s Dilemma

Jayne was attracted to River from the first moment he saw her, all creamy skin and frightened little movements as she crawled out of the silver box. What was it called, the cryo- somethin’ or other? But he pushed it to the back of his mind, she was barely more’n a child, in her wits if not her body.

This uncharacteristically gentlemanly decision had changed ever since he saw her fight the Reavers on Miranda. Ta ma de, the thought of her standing there, surrounded by hundreds of dead Reavers,, blood still dripping from the weapons in her hands, wound tighter than a steel trap, ready to pounce again at a moments danger. Even many months later his John Thomas still swelled at the thought. It was the most gorram sexy thing he’d ever seen.

They’d gotten a lot closer lately, laughing and joking like a couple of school kids. Once he’d noticed her staring at him from the corner of her eye.

He was so ready for it to go further, but only if she wanted it too. River was everyone’s mei-mei, and the last thing he wanted was for her to cry rape. He’d be out of that airlock before he could take a breath. So he was taking it real slow, letting her set the pace, but all he wanted was to feel those soft lips pressed against his own.

Wo de ma, he hadn’t kissed a woman on the mouth, or even wanted to kiss a woman on the mouth since he was a boy, in the flush of first love, back on his home planet. Her name was Valerie, and he let himself daydream about her soft lips and creamy skin, just like River’s….

*************************

River let her mind wander around the thoughts of each of the crew on Serenity. Not prying, not mind reading, just catching a glimpse of what was on each person’s mind.

Simon was thinking about Kaylee, and Kaylee was of course thinking of Simon. Wash and Zoe’s minds were full of the happiness of sitting together companionably as they worked: Wash piloting Serenity, Zoe taking care of her weapons. Inara was thinking of Mal, as always when she wasn’t working. Jayne was daydreaming about a lost love, no, wait, it was…

River gasped as she realised what Jayne was dreaming about her: lips pressing and sucking, tongues licking, hands caressing, hearts beating faster, breaths shallowing. She sat down and gathered her thoughts. She had no idea that he was thinking of her like that.

Jumping up she ran towards Jayne’s bunk.

“Woah there, Miss River.” Captain Mal caught her round the waist to slow her down, “You keep running around like that and you’ll likely fall and break you’re neck. And I won’t be the one to pick up the pieces.”

“Captain Mal,” she gasped, as his hands continued resting on her hips, “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

“Where were you goin’ in such a hurry?”

River blushed as she blurted out, “To see Jayne. So many questions…”

Mal moved his hands from her waist, but rested one at her elbow, “I don’t think it’s proper for a young lady, such as you, to be visiting a rough man like Jayne alone in his bunk.”

River’s eyes filled with tears, “He’s not rough, he’s just Jayne, and he’s my friend.”

“‘Course he is, River. Just he’s a man, and he has needs. And you’re turning into a very beautiful young woman.”

“You think she’s beautiful?”

“Hua li.”

“Even more so than Inara?”

Mal nodded, “Maybe I can answer a few of those questions,” he suggested, tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear.

“Later,” River grinned, reaching up on tip toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

She ran all the way to Jayne’s bunk, but he wasn’t there. She searched the ship for his mind. He was angry, lifting weights in the cargo bay, trying to block out his thoughts. What was wrong? She knew she shouldn’t pry, but what could one peek hurt?

She saw lots of red anger, and some green jealousy. Jayne had seen the captain stop her, holding her by the waist, and the kiss she gave him. He was jealous, of her and the Captain.

What was happening? This morning she was just a girl, functioning normally, the bits staying down, the words coming out right, and people understanding her. Now she was an object, an object of desire. She had the two alpha males on the boat vying for her attention.

What to do? What to say? She didn’t know. She needed advice. Not Inara, in her own heart Captain Mal belonged to her. Not Kaylee, all she could think about was Simon. Book. Shepherd Book, she’d ask him. He’d consult his symbol and give her wise counsel from within its pages and parameters. She could not make sense of his symbol, but to him it was a compass, a guide line, and map for guidance of when and where to turn in times of crisis. And that’s where she was, in the midst of a crisis. Two men. Who to choose? Who was best? Which to pick, which to turn down? Must she choose? She thought she must, but the Shepherd would know.

*************************

COMMENTS

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 2:17 AM

WILDHEAVENFARM


I anxiously await the next installemnt. The sentence "He’d consult his symbol and give her wise counsel from within its pages and parameters." is particularly good. I found Mal's voice to be a bit off the mark though.

And where did the trend of River speaking of herself in third person come from anyway? (this is directed at the group as a whole, rather than just Humbug)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 9:14 AM

HUMBUG


Thank you (I think?)

I'll post more soon. River speaks of herself in the third person in OIS, definitely - "She understands. She does not comprehend".

I think you'll hear more traditional Mal speak in the next few chapters. At least I hope I captured him okay. If it doesn't annoy you too much, just go with the flow. But it's up to you. If you don't like, don't read it.

Thursday, July 27, 2006 3:55 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh...things are getting mighty interesting, aren't they?

;)

Honestly didn't think the dialogue was too off the mark, but I guess improvements couldn't hurt;)

Gotta wonder though....we see Jayne's train of thought about River, and we see River picking up on Jayne's thoughts and feelings...but we don't really see what's going through Mal's head that would lead him to flirt with River when previously, he was in fatherly mode with River. Just makes me hope that you'll explore Mal's thoughts on deciding to persue River instead of keeping up his dance with Inara:D

BEB


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