“’Nara will you be alright?”

“I’m happy to help mei mei. Do you need anything else?”

“The only thing left to do is give Jayne his coin.”

“Jayne?”

“It’ll keep him under control.”

“And River?”

“She’s upset, Mal’s trying to keep her busy.”

“Mal loves her…” Inara stopped; her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Like a daughter!” Burst Kaylee, “Zoë thinks he’s healing from losing so much from the war.” She hugged her friend. “One day soon he’ll realize how much he loves you.”

“I hope so mei mei.”

“Inara, have you noticed that Serenity attracts people with needs?”

“How so?”

Kaylee started, ticking off each person with her fingers. “Well, Mal needs healing to his soul from the damage done to him in the war. Zoë had nothing but the Captain. Wash had his pick of jobs and chose the most remote one possible. Jayne, well, he will never admit it but he needs love and family. Book is tortured about his past. River, I don’t think ever really had a father. Simon needs to share the burden of healing River. I didn’t really have a future. On my planet female mechanics, there just weren’t any. And then there’s you…”

“What about me?” Inara looked at Kaylee with an appraising eye; not surprised that Kaylee cared so much about these people but that her appraisal of each person was so insightful.

“Inara, you left a promising and assured future, exactly why I don’t know, but you’ve found a home, family and love. You look surprised?”

“Kaylee, you’ve just read the crew better than I did, and I’ve had years of training. Oh don’t look so defensive, you did surprise me, delightfully so.” Giving her friend a hug, “better go find Jayne.”

“See you later ‘Nara.” Kaylee left with a wave.

“Good luck Kay’.” Inara said to the closed door.

~~~~~

Simon had had a busy day inventorying and reinventorying the infirmary. It was the only place he felt safe, normal. He could play doctor and pretend nothing was wrong. He had Kaylee fooled into believing that he was well. No one else was on to him. One drawback was he had to leave to treat River; she still hated the infirmary. He also couldn’t help but feel jealous of Mal. River adored him so. In some ways he was relieved that someone else could handle River, but she had been his alone for so long that he missed her, even if she was just down the hall.

He was looking around for something else to distract him when an ape appeared.

“Doc, Kaylee wants you to stay here.” With that Jayne slammed the door shut.

~~~~~

River was standing on her head.

“River! Stand up!” Mal ordered.

Flipping right side up with a graceful flourish, River smiled at him. “What’s wrong Captain Daddy?”

“Next time do that in your room, or wear something that’s not a dress.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Daddy!” River said through a grin.

Mal shook his head but couldn’t help smiling. Mentally a giant, physically beautiful but emotionally young – very young. A girl to be proud of, a girl so full of love and wonder, it was why Simon was willing to sacrifice everything for her.

Her face clouded over. “It’s starting!” She sobbed.

~~~~~

Kaylee felt nervous, no, scared. The man she loved was in pain and scared. She has to take a chance, he is worth it – they are worth it. For the past few weeks Simon had been going through the motions of being alive: never smiling, rarely talking, when they had sex it was ‘to’ her not ‘with’ her. A curious thing was his almost nonstop fidgeting with his wedding ring. Today things change for the better; she will not consider otherwise.

She nods to Jayne who lets her enter.

“Kaylee what’s going on?”

“It’s time for you to come home.”

“I am home.”

“No you’re not! Nothing you do is the way you used to do it. You hold Rill like she’s not yours. You hold me like I’m a chore…”

“You seem to enjoy it!”

“Yes Simon, you sex me good. When we’re in bed you are sexing ‘me’, but there’s no ‘we’ there.” Tears are coating her cheeks. “It’s not just me. You hold everyone at a distance, and that has to stop. You, my dear husband have to heal because you have a family and you have friends. We need you whole, not hollow.” Kaylee leaned against the door, Simon started towards her, she stopped him with a hand. “NO! We are here to cure you, my tears don’t mean nothing.”

“Why is Jayne at the door?”

“You can’t leave without my say so.” She slapped the door and Jayne opened it. “Jayne, why are you keeping Simon in this room?”

“You paid me. Need him roughed up a little? Throw that in for free!”

“No just watch the door.” With that Jayne closed the door.

“I can’t believe you would do that,”

“You forced me Simon. Now you can’t walk away, hide or pretend. Why do you no longer trust me?”

“I just… It’s that… I’m afraid.” He whispered.

"Afraid of me?"

"Afraid thay none of this is real. Afraid that i've betrayed everyone and everything I love; in one of Travis Walken's games."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: In the next chapter Jayne gets his fondest wish, at least one of them.

Still looking for a beta...