Feel free to use anywhere, just give me credit. Comments most appreciated.

Ten Years Later by Judy Moffitt

She’d been working on the bridge, calculating different routes for the next leg of the trip after tomorrow’s stop on Persephone. But it was way after midnight now, ship time, and she decided to call it a night. She stopped in the kitchen on the way to bed and found Mal sitting there. He was there most nights and she enjoyed talking to him. Tonight, she had something important to say and it seemed to be the right time.

"Evening River. How are the course calculations coming?"

"Almost done. I’ll have Wash look them over in the morning."

She thought it was nice to have a real job on Serenity as Second Pilot. River was even happier to be mentally stable enough to have a real job. She truly appreciated the effort Simon had made to find a cure for her. Even after three years, she still wasn’t used to being sane all the time. ‘Course she and Mal still had some secrets. He was the only one who knew she still read minds and did other things just with her brain. Even Simon didn’t know or he’d still be trying fix what she didn’t consider to be wrong.

"Day Wash finds a mistake in your calculations is the day I give up Serenity," Mal teased.

She smiled. Mal liked it when he made her smile, she lit up the whole room. And truth to tell, she was so serious most of the time; she didn’t smile nearly often enough.

"Did you know today was ten years to the day since Simon and I came to Serenity? I never really thanked you for taking us in and sheltering us when the Alliance was trying so hard to find me."

"God, has it really been that long? Seems like just yesterday. But so much has happened. Who’d a guessed how it would all turn out.? We’re even respectable most times, nowadays."

"It’s easier now that we aren’t fugitives. Don’t think we can ever thank Book enough for arranging a fake death for us to get the Alliance off our trail." Pause. "Do you remember how beautiful Inara was the day Simon and Kaylee got married?"

Mal flinched and tried unsuccessfully to hide it. River thought, "Oops, I mentioned the forbidden name. Oh well, time he got over that. It’s been 5 years since she left after all."

"Now River, you know I never saw Inara look anything less than beautiful. But nobody outshone our Kaylee that day. Don’t believe I’ve ever seen a body so happy in all my born days."

"Well maybe the day Zoe had her first. Hard to believe Micah is 9 already. It’s such fun to have children on board. I like being an aunt. Even Jayne’s two are smart as whips. I wish…"

"That he could be here to see them. Yeah, he’d be proud of how they are turning out, I think. Funny, if you’d’ve asked me 10 years ago if I’d ever miss Jayne, I’d have laughed at you. But he and Maria saved a lot of people on Boros before getting shot down. At least we were able to pick up their kids and give them a home."

"Never thought I’d see the day when I’d miss Jayne either. But he changed a lot that last three years. Especially after he met Maria. I miss Book and Inara, too. But at least they’re still alive."

"Yeah, never would have thought that Book would end up as the head of his whole order. Guess the work he did getting that school of yours shut down counted for a lot though."

"And his work here was done since he didn’t need to watch over me anymore and didn’t need us to help get others out. He’s happy at the Abbey. As well he deserves to be. I’d be dead by now for sure if he hadn’t gotten me out. I still think about the ones he couldn’t save though. They were so evil by the time the Alliance was done. Sometimes I still dream about the one who found us. We’d all be dead if I hadn’t just happened to have some side effects the others didn’t get. At least we didn’t have to deal with them reading minds, too."

"Sorry River, I can’t fix your nightmares the way you fixed mine. Did I ever thank you for that, by the way?"

"I didn’t know you knew. But you’re welcome. They were hurting me too, you know. They were so strong; I couldn’t just ignore them. Not once I was stable again. Before, I just didn’t understand where they came from."

"And here I thought you did it just because you like me." Mal smiled at her, teasing.

"I do like you Mal. Of all of them, you’re the only one who wasn’t afraid of me then. Even Simon was afraid of what I was. And we both know they’d still be afraid, if they knew what I still am."

"Can’t say I wasn’t worried sometimes, River."

"But you were afraid of what they had done to me, of what I might do without having any control over it. You weren’t afraid when you realized I read minds or when you saw me do things I shouldn’t be able to do. Only that I might be controlled by them. The others were afraid of me and what I could do and of what I might see in them." River hesitated, they were near the subject she wanted to discuss, maybe she should say it now. She gathered her courage together. This might not go well; she had to be prepared. As well as she knew him, River still wasn’t sure how he’d react.

"Mal. you know I fell in love with you that day you helped me get rid of Jubal Early. You thought I was dangerous, couldn’t guarantee I was in control, and yet you trusted me and followed my plan. And then you let me back on the ship even though you had earlier decided to ask us to leave." Her voice broke, "Meant a lot to a frightened, lonely girl."

He took her face in his hands and tilted it up to his. Looking directly into her eyes, he said, "You trying to tell me you still feel that way, River?"

She smiled that brilliant, playful smile of hers. "What do you think?"

"I think ten years is an awfully long time to wait to say such a thing. Why now?"

"Because I’m well now and have been for long enough that I don’t think I’ll relapse. So it’s safe to tell you now. And because you need to get over Inara and build a life of your own, not just be uncle to all the kids on board. And because I think that you could love me too; if you gave yourself the chance. And maybe, like Inara, I need to know if it’s time for me to leave and find someone else."

"Hold on there. Give me a minute to adjust here, River. I hadn’t thought about this before. You were so young when you came on board, I never really considered it. Somewhere along the way, you grew up and I’m just now noticing. Makes me feel a little stupid if you must know the truth."

He stood there just looking at her for a long time. "I still love Inara, you know. Doubt that would ever change."

"I know, but you long ago decided not to tell her. I’ve always known you loved her and I’ve always known why you felt it was better for her that you not act on it. Doesn’t mean you should spend the rest of your life not loving anyone else."

His eyes were troubled. She could read that he didn’t want to hurt her by giving her less than she deserved and that he wasn’t sure he could give her what she was asking for. He struggled to put his thoughts into words. "River, I…"

"Shhhh." She put her finger on his lips. "Just kiss me. If you don’t want to take it further after, I’ll just get off at the next decent planet." She moved closer and put her arms around his neck.

"What the hell," he thought. "It’s been a long damn time since I’ve kissed anyone and she is so gorram beautiful. I just don’t want to hurt her though."

"Kissing me won’t hurt me, I promise. And thank you for thinking I’m beautiful."

"Don’t read my mind when I’m thinking such things. A man’s mind can get right smutty sometimes."

"Can’t think of a better time to read it. Now kiss me."

He put his arms around her and very gently and lovingly kissed her. Didn’t stay a gentle kiss for long though as the passion flared up between them. River read his feelings and projected her feelings back to him. Suddenly he knew just exactly what loving a telepath would involve.

Eventually he needed air and they broke apart. Her eyes were shining and she looked luminous. Mal knew in that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He’d given up one woman he loved; he wasn’t about to do it a second time.

"You surely do know how to kiss a man. An old man like me, might take me several weeks to recover from that one. On the other hand, seeing as how we’re landing on Persephone tomorrow…I think the crew might like it if Book did the wedding ceremony, don’t you?"