Author's note: Inspired by Ryan Adams' song September. The line "Doctor's on the phone and she hangs up and says 'I ain't never gonna see the winter again', and I don't know how but she smiles." reminded me intensely of Kaylee. A bit longer than most things I write. Would be longer, but I didn't want to veer into nonsensical territory.

She’d been sick for over a week when they landed on Ariel. Nothing serious, but she was tired and pale. She’d banged her knee running around the engine room after River a few weeks ago and the bruise seemed to be spreading instead of going away. Simon was a doctor. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly what was wrong; he just couldn’t bring himself to admit it. It was such a rare occurrence now-they’d made so many medical advancements in the past few hundred years that there were immunizations for everything. Most of these advancements hadn’t made it past the core planets, however. When Simon was growing up, he thought that appropriate—the outer planets didn’t want to conform to what the Alliance expected of them, they could suffer the consequences. That was before he met Kaylee. Before he realized that people from the outer planets were people too. “Kaylee?” he called. “Kaylee?” when there was no reply, Simon’s heart stopped momentarily. Could it have spread so fast? Could she be dead already? He was half-relieved to find her on the floor of the engine room, snoring. He knelt down next to her. “Bao bei? Wake up.” “Oh hi, Simon,” she yawned, arching her back like a cat. “Sorry, just got real sleepy all of a sudden.” Simon smiled, passed a hand through her hair. “That’s okay, sweetheart. Listen, Mal gave me the okay to take you to the doctor when we land, but I need to take some blood for analysis first.” He held up the needle apologetically. She made a face, and then smiled. “Hey,” she said, watching with interest as Simon located a vein. “Maybe we’re havin’ a baby, that’s why I’m so tired.” Simon glanced down at the bruise that was creeping its way down Kaylee’s leg and swallowed hard. “Maybe,” he replied.

“This is quite remarkable,” the oncologist, whose name Simon hadn’t cared to remember, said. “Miss Frye, your blood work came back positive for acute promyelocytic leukemia. Simon bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. No. Kaylee looked up at the doctor. “What does that mean?” The doctor began a length explanation about blood cells and antibodies and treatment options. Simon interrupted. He needed the truth. “How long?” he asked.

Back at the hotel, Kaylee waved Serenity. “Hey, li’l Kaylee, what’s news?” Mal asked brightly. “’Nother critter on my boat? Nara’s already dreamin’ up names.” Kaylee shook her head. “I ain’t never gonna see the winter ‘gain,” she said softly, somehow smiling bravely up at Mal’s face on the wall-mounted screen. It was just enough to push Simon over the edge.

“What’s going on, Mal?” Inara demanded. “Tell me what’s going on. You’re unusually with drawn, and, if at all possible, more broody than usual. You finally realize that the war is over?” Mal took a deep breath. “Kaylee’s dyin’, Nara. Onco-somethin’ at that big fancy hospital gave ‘er til September.” Inara mentally calculated. “That’s only three months from now!” she protested, as if she could somehow change the facts. “Isn’t there treatment? Something?” Mal brushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. “That’s with the treatment.”

“I’m looking for Kaywinnit Lee Frye, please.” Inara was unused to hospitals. “Room O-137,” the receptionist said, smiling sympathetically. “Your relation to the patient?” Inara swallowed hard. “She’s my me—I’m her sister.” Another sympathetic smile. “Do you need help finding your way?” Inara shook her head. “I’m fine.” Simon was dozing in a chair by the bed, clutching Kaylee’s hand in his own. “Hi, ‘Nara,” she managed. “Hey, you.” Inara sat down in the other chair. “How’s it goin’, mei-mei?” “Oh.” Kaylee gagged a little, involuntarily, and Simon stirred. “Shiny, ‘Nara.” She gagged again. “They just got me on some medicine that makes me real sick, is all.” She leaned back against the pillows. “I’ll be back fixin’ Serenity real soon, ‘Nara. You best take care of my girl while I’m trapped in here, ‘kay? You promise me you’ll do that?” And then she started to cry. “I don’t wanna die, ‘Nara,” she sobbed. “I wanna get married an’ have babies an’ live forever.” Inara, helpless, climbed into the bed. “I know, mei-mei, I know. I’m sorry,” she murmured, running her hands through Kaylee’s hair, causing a down shower of hair. “I know, baby. It’ll be okay. They’ll take care of you.” And they did. By the time August rolled around, they’d tried three different treatments. They worked for a while, but inevitably bounced. Simon had, by that time, had enough. “Let me bring her home,” he pleaded. “Let her die where she feels safest.” That afternoon, he crept into Kaylee’s room, where she slept, looking as though all the life had been drained out of her. “Bao bei,” he said softly, voice like a breath of air. “We’re going home.” Everything had been scrubbed down when Simon arrived back on Serenity. “Here’s the plan,” he said, standing in front of the crew. “I gave River a smoother, so she should sleep. Kaylee will be arriving in about half an hour. The infirmary and the engine room should as of now be considered off-limits. Anyone requiring moderate medical attention may see me in my bunk.” He looked around. “We’re on our way to Zephyr now?” Mal nodded. “Already contacted her folks.” “Good.” Simon glanced at his watch. “Any questions?” “Yeah, I got a question.” Simon tried to hide his exasperation. “Yes, Jayne?” “What happens if one of us gets shot?” Simon gave him a look. “I would consider that requiring moderate medical attention.” He looked around. “Any other questions?” Silence. “Good. I need to go back to the hospital to assist with the transfer. We’ll be back in approximately twenty minutes.”

It happened suddenly. River could feel it, like a plug being pulled. She crept into the engine room. Simon could feel it, too, curled up in the hammock whispering in a language River couldn’t understand. “That’s it,” she murmured. “It’s over.” Then, louder, so Simon could hear, “Her soul is happy. No pain where she is. She told me to tell you to relax.” They got off on Zephyr two days later. While everyone else was in the house where Kaylee had grown up, Simon was at the local bar. “Now what’s a shiny stranger like you doin’ in a place like Engelside?” the bartender asked. “Engel means angel,” he slurred. “She was in Engelside, now she’s by the angel’s side.” He took another swig of his drink and attempted to stand up. He immediately sat back down, then threw up. “Sorry,” he managed, and then started to cry. The bartender sighed. “Figures,” he muttered. “Ya drank near all my alcohol.” He glanced at the mess. “Ya need someone to take ya home?” “Nonono.” Simon shook his head. “I’n find m’way.” He stumbled out the door and into the autumn air after dropping some money on the counter. As he wandered through the town where Kaylee had grown up, he found himself feeling her. Hearing her laughter down by the church, spotting a glimpse of her small, pigtailed form in the schoolyard, smelling her strawberry-and-engine scent as he staggered onto her porch and into her house. He was collapsed on her bed, trying to sleep, when he finally sobered up enough to realize he could hear fireflies chirping. Staring out the window, he suddenly started to cry.

“…then I feel you coming but I don’t know how…”