Jayne

The ride back to Serenity was silent. Wash spoke only twice, once to ask Kaylee if she could see anyone trailing them, and again to ask if they were both okay. Kaylee seemed to have lost her voice, shaking her head to the first question, nodding to the second. Jayne sat staring at the form in his lap. Several moments had passed before he realized he was counting her breaths. One, two, three. They were few, far between, and sounded shallow. He clenched his hand on her leg, feeling the warmth well up beneath his palm and wondering for the thousandth time why the gorram hell a person would do what she had done. He could feel Kaylee watching over his shoulder. Half of him wanted to scream at her about her damn panels, wanted to blame her for what had happened on Serenity to push them to this. The other half wanted to hold her, to tell her everything would be okay. Instead, he said nothing. He just stared with her at the body in his arms.

Wash flipped a few switches, and the shuttle’s trajectory shifted slightly. He spoke quietly into the comm. Jayne caught a few words about panels, Reavers, a passenger and the doctor. He looked up, catching a glimpse of the barren rock where Serenity rested. He hadn’t realized they had come home so soon.

“No,” Wash was saying. “Kaylee and Jayne are fine. We’ve got someone else on board. They brought her back with them. We couldn’t leave her. Tell the doc to have his infirmary ready. It’s ugly. Really ugly.”

“Were you followed?” Mal’s voice was laced with fear. It sounded tinny in the confines of the shuttle.

“Negative,” Wash replied. “Visuals and scopes are clear.”

Mal breathed a sigh of relief. “Tell me you at least got what we sent ya for.”

“Two panels and a purifier,” Wash replied. “Don’t know that we ended up paying for ‘em, though. Apparently things got messy down there real fast.” He looked over his shoulder. “Hang on, guys. We’ll be hooked on in a second.” Sending the shuttle into a gentle spin, he brought it back to its perch on Serenity’s hull and killed the power.

Mal was waiting at the door when it opened, the doc hovering behind him. His eyes took in everything – the blood on the floor, the grey uniform, the discarded bags, but he was all business. “Doc, there’s your patient. Go to it.” Simon pushed past, barely looking at Kaylee as he knelt by Jayne and Hunter. Mal spoke over his exclamations. “Wash, get this thing secured. I want you and Kaylee to clear out that engine room and get this ship working again on the double. I don’t want any more surprises today.” He looked down at Simon. “Can she be moved?”

Simon looked up. “She’ll have to be. But quickly. And gently.” Mal swooped into the small space, picked up the officer with surprising gentleness, then hurried from the shuttle. A sudden sense of déjà vu struck Jayne– an image of himself, carrying a gun-shot Kaylee to the infirmary, the same controlled rush through the hold and the depths of Serenity. He stood to follow, feeling his blood-soaked clothes cling to his body as he stepped from the shuttle. Inara met him on the stairs. “What on - Wu de tyen ah!”

Jayne shoved past her, sweeping her up in his wake. “Ain’t mine,” he said. “Nor Kaylee’s neither.” He thundered down the steps and into infirmary in time to see Mal laying the officer out on the table, stymied for a second as to how to put her down.

“On her side,” Simon commanded. His voice had changed, becoming more official, more secure than Jayne had ever heard him. Mal leaned Hunter to one side as Simon ran the leather restraint across her body, strapping her in place.

“Tell me what you need.” Mal’s voice was tight.

“Help. One person. And a cutting torch. Everyone else, out.” His fingers probed around her wound, and Jayne found himself suddenly light-headed. Mal was shoving everyone but Inara out. She had volunteered to help, having some medical training as a companion. Jayne wondered if Companion training included cutting torches or welding skills and found himself suddenly fighting down a bubble of hysteria. Gotta get straight, he thought. Gotta hang on. Book had gone back to the hold for the torch.

Mal pushed past Jayne, grabbing his arm firmly and leading him toward the lounge. They met Zoë on the way. Her eyes were cold, her voice flat.

“That what I think it is, Sir?” she said, looking past the captain’s shoulder.

“It is,” Mal replied evenly. “But we’ve got bigger troubles. I need you to go spell Wash in the engine room. Make sure he’s clean, then send him up to the bridge. I want off this rock yesterday.”

Zoë nodded, always the soldier. “I’m on it, Sir.”

Mal guided Jayne to a chair. “Sit down,” he said. He rubbed a hand through his hair as he sat down, making it stand on end. Jayne found himself staring at the blood on Mal’s hands, found himself equally unable to look the blood on his own. The captain’s voice was quiet. “You want to tell me what in the hell happened down there?”

So Jayne told. He took a long time, telling Mal exactly what happened, giving details and everything. Jayne felt himself talking just to hear that he was still alive, but he kept going. The words and visions tumbled out of him like rushing water. He finished with the cavern, and with Kaylee begging him to take her. He was dimly aware of Wash coming through, of a gentler hum as Serenity finally left her barren perch. Over the hum of the ship, he thought he could hear wailing, sobbing, and he hoped that someone was still with Kaylee. “She told us to leave her,” he told Mal. “She said they was coming back and we needed to go. Kaylee wouldn’t hear none of it. We had to… we had to… son of a - ” he lurched to his feet, knocking dishes from the counter as he ran to the sink, his stomach heaving. Clutching the sides of the counter, he threw up, his body spasming over and over. As the spell passed, he spat into the sink, his knuckles white against the metal of the sides. “I saw ‘em. I heard ‘em. I could even smell ‘em. Saw ‘em so close…” he shut his eyes, trying to block the visions, the noise. “Gorram it, Mal… Not even I could have left her there for them.”

Mal put a hand on his shoulder, leaning across him to turn on the sink. Rinsing the mess down, he wet a cloth and handed it to Jayne. “We’ll figure out right and wrong later. Just sit tight for now.” He clapped his hand on Jayne’s shoulder, talking almost to himself. “It’ll be all right.” Jayne felt himself nod, and he opened his eyes. The wet rag in his hand was beginning to turn pink as the blood transferred to the cloth. Nodding again, he pushed away from the sink and went to sit on one of the couches, twisting the rag on his hands. Mal turned away, calling Wash on the comm.

“Where we headed, Wash?”

“Didn’t know, Cap,” came the reply. “Away from there.”

Mal nodded. “Still got a job to finish, Wash. We’re due in Borealis in three days to meet with the buyer, and I ain’t about to lose this payload. We’re cutting it close as it is.”

“But what about - ” Wash began, but Mal cut him off.

“I got eight people on this boat I’m worried for first. Ain’t gonna stop for one dyin’ greyback I never even met good. We’ll do what we can, but we have got to finish this job, or there might not be more. Dong ma?” “Understood, Mal,” Wash replied without rancor. “Course’ll be laid in a couple of seconds. I’ll go direct as I can, no stops.”

“Good man,” Mal smiled faintly. “Knew I hired ya for somethin’.” Mal turned back to Jayne. “You all right for a bit? I want to go check on Kaylee, and to see if the Doc is doin’ any good.”

Jayne watched the rag twisting through his hands. “Yeah. Go on.” It was only after Mal left that he realized how badly he was shaking.