Well all thing s must come to an end. Hope you like the ending.

The Job (PartV - Conclusion)

It had been a difficult day. The town where they landed hadn’t been his home, but he and his family had visited there once before. It still looked the same, as if nothing had changed in the last 20 years. But as far as Malcolm Reynolds was concerned, everything had changed. In the intervening years, his family had died, he’d sold the ranch, he’d lost a war and his faith, and he’d been beaten, tortured, arrested and left to die on more than one occasion. It was hard to look at the shops ringing the docks and remember the innocent kid he’d been back then. It was harder still to remember his mother and his sister shopping for party dresses at the same shop that still stood on the corner of the main street.

Mal didn’t avoid difficult tasks. So he’d gone himself to meet with the owner of their cargo and arrange for the delivery and the return shipment even though just about the last thing in the universe he wanted was set foot on that planet. Zoe and Wash had both volunteered to go in his place, but it was a harsh universe and a captain who couldn’t do the job of a captain didn’t last very long in it. So Mal had gone and now he was back on Serenity.

They were unloading the cargo now, but the return cargo wouldn’t be here for three more days because some flooding had cut off the delivery route of the grain. So they had to wait while the wagon train took a longer route.

Everyone was standing in the cargo bay when he returned except Simon and River, who always stayed out of sight when strangers were on board. They were there to give him support, he knew. Inara came down to greet him looking cool and elegant as usual. "How are you doing," she asked. "Fine." She gave him a look that clearly said, "That’s a load of gos se." But she let it pass without remark for which he was grateful.

It was due to her that he was functioning at all. The last three days of discussing his feelings and nightmares with her had helped a lot. The pain was bearable now. But it had been damn hard and he wasn’t looking forward to the further discussions he knew she would insist on. At least she wasn’t going to make him discuss it publicly.

"How long are we staying," Kaylee wanted to know.

"Too long. The return cargo’s been delayed and won’t get here til Monday."

"Good." Mal looked at Inara like she was a crazy woman. She couldn’t possibly have meant that. She, more than anyone, knew how hard it was for him to be here.

She smiled that brilliant smile of hers, took his hands and said, "We’ll have time to have a funeral for your family and friends."

Mal jerked away from her like she was poisonous snake. "What!, No way, I ain’t going through no religious jibber jabber. I ain’t. God didn’t care about them when they died, he didn’t care about the soldiers in Serenity Valley, and he don’t care if we have 10,000 funerals."

All noise stopped in the cargo bay as everyone stared at him. Mal was so angry he was shaking. Book opened his mouth to speak. "Not a word, preacher. I ain’t doing it and that’s final." He stomped off to his quarters.

Wash looked at Inara. "Well that went well."

"About as well as I expected. When he calms down, he’ll see I’m right."

Jayne burst out laughing at that one. "Bet you 100 credits the Captain don’t agree before we leave."

"While we wait for Mal to calm down, we should to plan the funeral."

"You’re serious," Zoe said.

"I am. It needs to be done if he’s to heal."

**************

Inara hesitated in front of Mal’s quarters. She knew he was furious and she was a little nervous about this conversation. But it had to be done. No point in asking if she could come in. Well he’d barged in on her more than a few times; time to repay the favor.

"Mal," she asked as she climbed down the ladder.

"I ain’t talking to you. Go away."

"I’m sorry I made you mad, but this is important."

"Mad? I am so far beyond mad, I can’t even see mad."

She reached out to touch him and he pulled away and turned his back on her.

"Go away."

"Can’t I at least tell why I think it’s important?"

"No."

"Why do you think I did it?"

"You want me to start believing that religious crap again. Think it’s good for me is all I can figure. Never should have trusted you with my thoughts."

Damn the man was stubborn. She had to let go of the hurt from that trust comment. She knew he could trust her. He just didn’t yet. She hadn’t expected it to be easy. Nothing ever was where Mal was concerned. Time to pull out the big guns.

"Would you like to see Kaylee hurt or dead because of you? Is that what you want?"

"I wouldn’t hurt her, you know that."

"No Mal I don’t. If you don’t start to heal from this pain you’ve been carrying around, one day you’re going to snap. And if there’s a crisis when you do, as there almost surely will be, you could get everyone on this boat hurt or killed. Mal that’s not a speculation. That’s based on years of research into trauma and how people deal with it. You want to be the cause of River’s death or Kaylee’s or mine?"

The brutal truth of that statement was like a physical blow to Mal, rocking him back on his heels. He turned and looked at her, really looked at her. "Gorramit, she meant that," he thought. "Hell"

A long moment of silence passed between them. Inara saw the anger turn into despair. She reached out to him and this time he didn’t move away.

"I’m sorry Mal, but you have to grieve their deaths. Holding the pain inside is killing you. A funeral isn’t for the dead and it isn’t for God, it’s for the people left behind. It’s purpose is to help them grieve openly, so the wound will heal. You need a funeral, not God, not your family and friends, you."

Mal didn’t say anything, but he was listening. Inara went on. "You couldn’t deal with it at the time it happened. You were fighting a war, I know you didn’t have time for grief then. So you pushed it away and let the wound scab over. It was a survival mechanism. But the hurt is still there inside you like a massive infection. It will burst one day. You can choose now, while we have time, the crew to give you support, and no additional crisis or you can wait until it bursts on it’s own. Choosing to release it yourself is the survival mechanism now. I won’t lie to you Mal. Releasing it will be horrible. It’s going to hurt worse than you can imagine. But letting it burst on it’s own will be a 1000 times worse."

Mal sighed. He knew she was right. He hadn’t wanted to face it, but that didn’t change what the truth was. "All right."

**************

The next day they landed on the site of the old ranch house. The new owners had built elsewhere, so the land here was empty. Somehow word had gotten out as to what was going to happen and people from all around were there to pay their respects. Must have been 2000 or so who attended.

The ceremony was beautiful as any ceremony managed by a Companion was bound to be. Book spoke on the meaning of love and life, carefully avoiding any religious references. Zoe, Wash, Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon took turns reading the names of the people who died there. Inara played her psaltery and River danced of hope and life and the blooming of spring after the long winter. Many of the locals got up and said a few words about the dead. Finally Mal spoke about his mother and sisters and friends. He spoke of the good times for the first time in a long while. He told of the lessons his mother had taught him. And he cried.