REGINAROADIE'S BLOG

reginaroadie

Crystal ball goes up to May 1st.
Sunday, December 30, 2007

Hey All

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a blog that described my last year and a half of boyhood. Thought it was fairly lengthy, and someone even commented on how that he like that I was so organized and planned. Well, as the holidays happened around me, I suddenly realized that my life as I know it (in general my educational career that started in Sept 1990, but specifically my late high school/college years that started in January 2002 here in Regina on my own) will figuratively be done on May 1st, 2008. After that, I honestly have no idea what to fuck to expect. Which while it is kind of exciting, I'm feeling more anxious than anything else.

Here's what I know for sure will happen in the next four months. On the 2nd, the gym at the U of R will be back open, and I really will be hitting it everyday and not skimping out on what I'm supposed to do. Ever since last year, I only did a full six weeks twice. Just as my body's metabolism was about to shift and I'd lose some actual weight, either school, work and the CUPE 1975 strike would get in the way. But this time, since I only have one class to do, I'm determined not to slip up. This semester, I'm actually going to lose weight and look good. On the 7th, that's when I have my very last class ever on Mondays from 11:30 to 2:20, Film 401. It'll only be three hours, but outside of class I think I'll be putting more time and effort into my final film than anything else. I'm doing a documentary about the film program called ABOUT US. So far, I only have six interviews (five if you discount my bad interview of myself) and I still need to digitize one more of my HD tapes. In the next four months, I have to interview hopefully about three dozen students and teachers, find a way to rip DVD's so that I can incorporate movie clips into the doc (although I thought of an interesting back-up plan that could work), comb through tons of raw footage of student films over the years and edit it all into a reasonable length for a final student film. My last class is on the 7th of April, the 401 final screenings will be sometime at the end of that month, and then the grad ceremony will be sometime in June. But the Grad ceremony is just for show. It's that 401 screening that I feel will be the official end of my academic career. I think I'll be editing right up till that day, actually. That's how complex and emotionally invested I am into it. It's my thank you back to the program, teachers and friends I've been with for the last five years.

In the old homestead, we'll have our last new roommate, this guy named Joseph, moving into the basement on New Years Day. That makes the last configuration of people living in the house me, Matt, Joseph and this guy Steve that moved in last month. Matt will be the first to move out. He's applying for a full time position in the military, so sometime in the near future he'll be moving out for good to either Kingstown or Edmonton. We're all hoping for the latter. I'm hoping he goes as late as possible, since when he goes, then it's just me and two other guys. It wouldn't be like the summer where it was me and some other roomies, since I knew he'd always be back by the end of August. This time, he's gone for good. Which I think is going to be hard for me, since we've pretty much shared a living space ever since we were like four or five. It's going to be so weird not having him around. Plus, when he goes he takes the 46 inch LCD flatscreen with him, and I have a few more Blu-Ray titles and LOST and JERICHO that I'd like to watch on it.

So Matt will be the first to go, and then maybe around April, depending on whether or not I and the other guys find our own places, we'd move out either all at once or one at a time. I'm not sure how much of what's in the house I'll take with me to the new place. I was never much of a pack rat, so hopefully I can leave with not that much stuff. Although I'm hoping with my graduation coming up that I can get a bunch of money from relatives and the govt so that I can buy some new shit, like a new computer, iPod and tv.

And I have to be out by May 1st, since that's when the new owners take ownership of the house. And by that time, the doc will be done, my final grade will be in and my only other school thing to do is just the show up for the grad ceremony in June. And after that...............................................

I'm sure by then I'll have something figured out, or that at the very least I'll be facing the uncertainty of life with my head up high with confidence, ala Claire in the final ep of SIX FEET UNDER (although I won't be driving east in a new Hybrid listening to Sia's "Breathe Me". More of a classic rock guy myself, plus that song while beautiful is starting to become a bit cliche.). But my overthinking part of myself is slightly freaking out. Because unlike almost everyone else around me, I'm not getting a degree that'll guarantee gainful employment as soon as I get out. I've purposely decided to go the artistic bohemian lifestyle. And while Hugh, Dave, Trixi, Dan and a lot of other people seem to be working full time in the industry already, the big break I've had so far is sitting in my car for 12 hours a day for a week in Oct. And there's other shit that I think about, maybe too much, that makes me think that I'm just spinning my wheels. That everyone else around me is moving on with jobs and real lives and stuff, whereas I feel like the same guy I was in high school, and not in a good way.

I dunno. I just do not know. And maybe it's a good thing that I don't know what's in store after May 1st, 2008. I guess all I really want to know is if after that date, that things are really going to pick up. That the bulk of my existence so far has all been in prep for my real life, you know?

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