PN! PN! Best idea ever! by Bytemite

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PN! PN! Best idea ever!

POSTED BY: BYTEMITE
UPDATED: Friday, August 20, 2010 14:54
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VIEWED: 1026
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Friday, August 20, 2010 11:45 AM

Because if people are going to be invading your privacy, tormenting you with a miserable experience and then just making it worse by metaphorically pulling your pants down and taking humiliating pictures, you might as well remind them of the reason WHY being so involved in people's lives and watching them so closely is a bad idea.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 11:49 AM

MINCINGBEAST

giggles, etc...

not a bad idea! so long as security must gaze at my rotten grundl, why not increase its blood flow?

any other passive aggressive suggestions? perhaps if i befouled my boxers before going through the body scan...or drew a face on my shame.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 11:57 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Actually the geekfarm offers a line of underwear that has a large cartoon bomb on it, made of a foil material which shows up quite clearly on X-rays and scans like this, and they've sold quite a number of them.

-F

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Friday, August 20, 2010 11:58 AM

BYTEMITE

It can be the nose, and make it a frowny face.

Well, one kind of body scanner works based on the amount of x-rays reflected back from the target. I imagine that the machine is set to only pick up a certain amount of backscatter, so there might be a way to increase the amount of reflected radiation and wash out the gamma of the image on the computer without using metal... Road paint all over your junk? Even if you don't wash out the naughty parts off the picture you'd disturb the hell out of the security guys over your gloriously luminescent member.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 12:00 PM

BYTEMITE

That's a neat idea too, though it's also a risky option. If a guard can't see under your underwear, what's to stop them from making you strip if they're feeling spiteful?

Forgive me for my paranoia, god forbid they take me to one of those little side rooms... Just them and me.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 12:04 PM

BYTEMITE

Oh! Oh! Since foil shows up on the scanner, make yourself look like a CYBORG.

...Well, I mean, you know. Like something looks like artful circuity in foil taped to you. Though completely metal limbs might help the illusion.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 12:06 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

I was thinking of making mine up as a snuffaluffagus...

AURaptor's Greatest Hits:

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 20:32 To AnthonyT:
Go fuck yourself.
On this matter, make no mistake. I want you to go fuck yourself long and hard, as well as anyone who agrees with you. I got no use for you.

Friday, May 28, 2010 - 18:26 To President Obama:
Mr. President, you're a god damn, mother fucking liar.
Fuck you, you cock sucking community activist piece of shit.
... go fuck yourself, Mr. President.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 12:10 PM

MINCINGBEAST

i'll be big bird, with yellow feathers and so forth.

or a simple, elegant smiley face. or arching brows and fangs. or the letters HIV. i dunno.

it occurs to me that although I am resoundingly sex-negative, that I may be a flasher or perverted exhibitionist in the making. the thought of poor security folks being forced to gaze upon my decorated junk makes me swoon.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 12:35 PM

KLESST

Quote:
Originally posted by mincingbeast:
I may be a flasher or perverted exhibitionist in the making. the thought of poor security folks being forced to gaze upon my decorated junk makes me swoon.

If you're a male the fear that they wouldn't even notice might outweigh any potential benefit.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 1:35 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
Oh! Oh! Since foil shows up on the scanner, make yourself look like a CYBORG.

...Well, I mean, you know. Like something looks like artful circuity in foil taped to you. Though completely metal limbs might help the illusion.

Helll-OOOOO!
I *AM* a cyborg, remember ?!

Goddamn, between the leg, the pins, plates, plastic and ceramic bits (hell there's actually some sea coral in there which was ground up and used as a splice for a broken tibia) those stupid widgets light up like a goddamned pinball machine when I go anywhere near em.

This is one reason I refuse to fly commercial, and trips to the county courthouse get real interesting, but at least in the latter case I have a little fun with them since my CCW doesn't specify what weapons or how many!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExtendedDisarming

But the DepHomeSec goons and their jackbooted friends have no bloody sense of humor whatever, and not only want a full fucking copy of my entire medical records, which weighs like eight pounds mind you - they have a reputation for prying out/prying off stuff that ain't supposed to be removed!
(I will not post the links, but I am not whatever kidding about that, there's some real horror stories!)

And while I am not all *that* sensitive about it, after a while the "What the hell HAPPENED to you?" question gets a little... old.

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 2:28 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Hee, hee, hee, Frem; when someone suggested that, my first thought was "Well, Frem almost IS one already..."

Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
Contracted Agent of Veritas Oilspillus, code name “Nike”,
signing off

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Friday, August 20, 2010 2:54 PM

BYTEMITE

That did occur to me as I was posting it. But if we're not just inducing curiousity-killed-the-cat in guards, but rather trying for full on weirded out to discourage further invasion of privacy, there's nothing wrong with taking all that up to eleven.

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