Looking for a (non-fanfic) Beta (parents/children especially)

UPDATED: Thursday, April 23, 2009 09:52
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Thursday, April 23, 2009 9:52 AM


Didn't feel right asking in the BSR, since this isn't actually fanfic.

As I've been told, being a writer is less about being "employed" than about "being read." To that end, I've got a couple of finished scripts that I want to show off/get actual reactions to. For the moment, these are both just "show" pieces, to show potential employers what my writing style looks like when left to my own devices (as opposed to "Spec" scripts, that show what I look like when I'm trying to match someone else's tone). Someday, however, who knows. These just might get pitched somewhere ("Starfighter Academy" in particular ties into a bigger saga that I'll definitely be putting out in some form, someday).

These are both sci-fi shows (i.e., series' pilots) that ended up being aimed at childrenm only because I'm starting to believe that space-opera-style sci-fi is financially impossible these days unless it's animated, and in NorAm, animation can only possibly be "for kids" (this means that I have to tone down some stuff, but I tend not to go too Dark anyway). I'm thinking of the sci-fi cartoons I had in my youth (but which no one seems to make anymore): Galaxy Rangers, Wheeled Warriors, Silverhawks, Thundercats, Robotech, etc.

Ergo, I'm looking especially for anyone who might have kids around --are these the kind of shows you could see them watching? (And if not, why not? Too violent? Too complicated? Not complicated enough? No talking anthropomorphic sponges?) Alternatively, are these the kind of shows you'd watch?

FWIW, I'm a big fan of anime-style, so in my head these shows both look kinda like Avatar: the Last Airbender or Oban Star Racers --stylized, but with enough detail to carry emotional weight and go lush or gritty by turns.

Starfighter Academy: Escape Velocity is the longer script (set up like a "movie" that could be cut up into three half-hour episodes), and is the more traditionally "sci-fi" of the two; it involves, well, starfighter pilots. Epic, star-spanning adventure and action, with aliens, robots, vast interstellar empires, and vaster interstellar conspiracies. Also, a bit of romance and comedy (and some inevitable Firefly references ). This one comes with outlines for the first 13 eps (a standard part of a series pitch), hinting at where the ongoing story arc would go.

The Weird Kid: Brave New World is shorter (a single half-hour ep), and tries to be more mainstream --except for the sci-fi elements, it'd be a slice-of-life series (like Lucky Star, Azumanga Daioh, or K-On!). Much as I hate the terms, this one ends up more shoujo (aimed at girls --except that some guys love character-driven "shoujo" drama and some girls love loud action-packed "shonen" series, so the labels don't actually mean what they claim to). I'm. . . not as confident in my humour writing, so this may come across as a little dry ('cause I'm trying to set up characters and an Aesop before hitting the silly stuff). Not as many Browncoat refs (aside from nearly swiping ThatWeirdGirl's name --sorry ), and no outlines, 'cause I'm deliberately trying to be more self-contained and episodic (in the vein of the slice-of-life sub-genre --what happens doesn't matter as much as how well we get to know the characters).

If you're interested, let me know and I'll send PMs with the link (they're in PDF files).

We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.






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