BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

MEINTERRUPTED

Replacement
Tuesday, May 2, 2006

"Twenty minutes later, she's dragged him to the alley behind the bar, kissing him fiercely." [Z/W, Z/OMC]


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1005    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Title: Replacement: Lover the First Series: As yet unnamed 22 Lovers project Author: Kari (meinterrupted AT livejournal DOT com) Rating: Adult. Sex, but nothing explicit Word count: 817 Spoilers/Timeline: Post-movie. Major spoilers. Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t sue. Summary: 'Twenty minutes later, she's dragged him to the alley behind the bar, kissing him fiercely.' Author's Note: Written for 22_lovers. The first in a series of (appx.) 22 stories about Zoë and her lovers. Unbeta'd, because I'm impatient.

--

It's been two months since Miranda, and every day Zoë still feels like she wants to die. She keeps going, for Mal, for Kaylee, even for Wash, but never for herself. At night, alone in her bed (our bed, our bed, always our bed) she sleeps fitfully, dreaming, or lying awake, staring at the ceiling. But never crying. She still can't let herself cry.

Her dreams come in two categories. The first are those about Miranda. In her dreams, sometimes she saves him. Some nights, she pushes him out of the way, taking the spear herself. (I was supposed to go first, it was supposed to be me, baby, I'm so sorry.) Other nights, she drags him to her, sparing them both from the spear. They would run to the last stand, and no one died. But most nights, she watches helplessly as he's impaled, and runs with Mal to save the others.

The other dreams are more disturbing. Some nights she dreams of his touch, his caresses, his kisses. She dreams of laughing at his jokes, rolling her eyes at that silly moustache, grinning at his obsession with dinosaurs. She remembers their first kiss, his surprise when she had kissed him after a particularly dangerous mission. ("Don't read into this, Washburn." "Wouldn't dream of it." "You're reading." "Okay, I admit it. But just a little.") Those are the mornings she wakes up screaming, shaking from lack of touch, lack of Wash. Seeing him alive in her dreams is more painful than watching him die.

It's one of those mornings when they land on Beylix. Zoë splashes water on her face, trying to wash away the remnants of her dreams, wash away memories of her husband. (I'm sorry baby, but I gotta get through the day.) Her face is clean, but her heart is still broken and bloody inside. She doesn't think it will ever heal.

The tavern is dark and seedy, as always. Mal is in a corner, talking with their contact, and Jayne is sitting at the bar, a whore on his lap. Zoë keeps an eye on the door, watching for any signs of danger. She has a beer, but she's not drinking it. So when the man next to her offers to buy her a drink, she turns him down.

He merely smiles. "You're too pretty for a guy like me anyway." She turns, sharply, his voice reminding her so much of Wash's. "But once you finish, I'd still like to buy you one."

She smiles back at him.

Twenty minutes later she's dragged him to the alley behind the bar, kissing him fiercely. Her fingers thread through his hair (wrong shade of red, but still so familiar) as he palms her breasts. Michael--she thinks he said it was Michael--slides his hands down to her hips, pulling her tight against him. He starts murmuring something in her ear, and she stops. "Don't talk," she mutters angrily.

He takes the hint, instead using his mouth to suck on her ear. Zoë moans just a little, closing her eyes, and pretending the hands on her body were just a little bigger. He fumbles with her belt, unzipping her pants and his. She grips his shoulders, digging her short nails into his shirt. It's another moment before she can feel him against her (he's using a condom, god I don't remember the last time I had to use one) and he slides in with one hard thrust.

Her back rubs against the rough brick as he pounds into her. She presses one hand against the wall for support, the other fisting his hair. It hurts, stretching muscles grown atrophied in the months since Miranda. He's bigger than Wash, hitting her cervix with each thrust, and the pain (not just bodily, hurt in my heart) brings tears to her eyes. They're still clamped shut, making it easier to pretend he is someone else, but drops of water leak out the edges.

He finishes, collapsing against her. The weight is familiar (familiar but wrong, I can't pretend anymore), but she pushes him away, zipping her pants, and the tears start flowing in earnest. She drops to her knees, helpless against the onslaught of emotion. She can hear him behind her, buttoning his own jeans, and when he's done, he approaches her, lightly laying his hand on her shoulder. "I--I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

She shakes her head, her face tight. Zoë leans away from him, his hand falling off her shoulder, and presses her forehead to the wall. The brick is cold and rough, and it grounds her. Three deep breaths later, she is again Zoë Alleyne Washburn, first mate of Serenity and warrior woman. She stands and straightens her shirt, ignoring the man behind her. When she walks back into the bar, everything is the way she left it.

That night, she doesn't dream.

COMMENTS

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:32 PM

SOFI


oh.my.god. this is soooooo urm... harrowing? zoe!! wash!!! =( its really good and uber sad! you just want to give her a big hug!! ok you just want to give her wash back. freakin reavers *gets angry*

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 3:15 AM

ALLIETHORN7


DAMN THOSE REAVERS!!!!!!! Joss may be a God, but that doesn't mean that he can't be wrong sometimes... can it? Cuz Wash and Zoe was so wrong, but so RIGHT it ain't even funny. DAMN REAVERS!!!! DAMN FOX EXECS!!!!! AND DAMN THAT GORRAM HARPOON WHAT TOOK HIM!!!! Oh, and great fic here.

-Danny

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 11:01 AM

OURMRSWASHBURNE


See, if Joss had aimed the harpoon at FOX instead of Wash, it woulda been a whole lot more fun! :)

(OK, not strictly true, I dont actually encourage squicking up company employees.)

I didnt think I was going to like this, but I did. Thank you for writing it.

Zoe keeps getting more and more awesome with every fic I read.

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 1:38 PM

ANONYMOUS


Thanks for the comments, people, I really appreciate them.

And Joss is an evil god. *cuddles Wash*

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 1:39 PM

MEINTERRUPTED


Aaand that was me. *pokes FFF*

Thursday, May 4, 2006 9:33 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Well...this was interesting;)

Wondered if Zoe would end up trying one-night stands...usually it seems she goes all nun-like in her feelings or goes for Jayne. This is a realistic and painful option that should be explored more.

BEB

Friday, May 5, 2006 4:29 AM

MEINTERRUPTED


See, I think Zoë would bottle up her feelings so much she /has/ to let it out somehow. (And Zoë/Jayne is one of those 'ships you HAVE to sell me on. I just can't read an established Z/J fic. Makes my brain go all 'omgwtfshe'dkillhim!')

I really ought to get back to this series. ^_^

Sunday, May 28, 2006 8:44 PM

LUCASHARPER


Well i got to admit I never thought of this option. It's certainly a grim prospect, but it makes alot of sense. I'd be interested in a follow up of sorts.

Luc.

Saturday, July 8, 2006 6:50 AM

BELLONA


poor zoe, hurts my heart to read it.

b


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