To my Wash,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Inana said that it might help me get over your death. Writing to you. Trying to explain what I’m feeling (not something I’m good at outside of our bunk if you remember). Something she learnt in the training house. Some of her clients find it useful she said. But I don’t know. How can I get over when I never got a chance to say good bye to your body. All we found when we got back to Serenity was your blood all over the bridge. Jayne, in particular, and all the others I’m sure as well, reckons either the Reavers or the Alliance took you when they boarded the ship. The Hwoon dahn took you from me. During the war (I know how you hate to hear those words) me and Mal saw lots guys and gals getting blown-up, shot, all sorts, but we always tried to bury them. But I couldn’t even bury you, all I could do was make a cairn for you, along with the Preacher and Mr. Universe, but we buried their bodies. All’s well on the ship I suppose. She’s back to her beautiful self, none of that Reaver crap on it. Not sure Kaylee will forgive Mal for doing that to Serenity. Speaking of Kaylee, her and Simon have finally got it together. Kaylee said that just before we started battling the Reavers, Simon said that he wanted to be with her, and that helped to get her through it. Boy finally managed to say the right thing. Jayne’s….. well Jayne. He’s quieter. We all are, I guess. He misses Book, says that the two of them talked a lot about lots of philosophical matters. Well I find that hard to believe, it being Jayne and all, but……. who knows. Inara sticking around for the moment. I hope she stays, for Mal mostly, but also for everyone else. She can just keep the calm relaxing face, radiates like. Not that I’ve taken a fancy to her or anything, I’m not about to live out your little fantasy, now that your not here. Mal’s alright I guess. He misses you more than you probably think, ‘specially since he’s taken to teaching River to fly Serenity. She’s a bit looser with the controls than you but she seems to have a certain crazy knack for it. Mal’s taken to calling her Little Albatross. Don’t know what to think of that, so long as no idiot shoots her. He’d have to be as crazy as her to try it though. You thought what she did at that bar was impressive. She killed hundreds of those Hwoon dahn when we were all down, fighting the Reavers. She’s the only one who doesn’t think that you’re not dead. She doesn’t say it so many words, thank god, but she seems to think that you’re still with us in Serenity, part of her or some such. I don’t know what to feel towards both of them. I know River couldn’t stop what they did to her, but why did Simon have to bring them on to our boat. We had a good life. Mal did the right thing by those people on Miranda, but it got you killed, and I don’t know if I can forgive him for that, I just don’t know. I don’t know what to write else now, I just wish you were alive somewhere. Somewhere………………

***

He woke up. His eyes felt heavy, stuck together. A massive dull pain radiated from his stomach outwards. Why did that hurt so much? He tried to move. It hurt. Alot. All of his body hurt a lot. So he didn’t move again for awhile. He tried to think of what had happened to him. There was nothing clear. Just shapes, colours. A leaf soaring. A warm chocolaty feeling. But nothing more, not even his name. Who was he? He didn’t know so, he gave up for the moment. His throat felt soar, dehydrated. He tried to call out…………

***

The man in the far corner of the room got up, looked over at the latest addition to the camp. The guys blonde hair had been clean when he had been brought in from the hospital, but now it was drenched with sweat. He seemed to have had a massive wound to his abdomen, and that had been fixed and sealed up good by the doctors. Funny that they fixed people up really good just so they could be used in some damned experiment. Oh well. He’d been here since he’d been captured at Serenity Valley, and he was still here. The new guy was stirring, trying to say something. “Water..”, he croaked. The man moved over and poured a trickle down the new guys thoart. “Thank-you” he said, “Er…where am I?” “Well mate, your in an Alliance prisoner camp. And like all of us here, your dead.”

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Hwoon dahn - Bastards

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