BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

SLYNN

Life For Rent
Friday, March 12, 2004

Inara POV. One shot deal. A look at the life of a companion and what (I think at least) might make her decide to go off into the great unknown.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1656    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

Life for Rent by SLynn

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine “Life For Rent” by Dido

Inara never imagined her life would be like this.

She was just a girl when out of hundreds of others she’d been picked to become a companion. Her family had been proud. It was an honor. And she’d been proud even if, at the time, she didn’t fully understand what it meant.

A companion was someone special. Someone revered.

But companions didn’t have families.

She had left hers at twelve.

Her mother, whose face now seems so distant, had cried. Her father had barely said a word. And her sister had been jealous. Jessenia had been passed over for training two years earlier and could not forgive her for being accepted. That was what Inara remembered most. She had never even said goodbye to her.

Training had been difficult and at first she had been extremely homesick. Homesick and lonely. But eventually the feelings had subsided, never really leaving but becoming gradually less intrusive as weeks became months became years. There was so much to learn and it left little time for such concerns.

A companion’s life was always about giving of yourself to others. There was no recreation time. Who needed it anyways? Certainly not a companion. Companions only needed to give. And the more Inara understood that the more she felt that it truly was a blessed life.

In times of uncertainty, she was always provided for. Wherever she went she was respected. Her company sought after. Inara was proud of who she was. Her station in life was secure.

And then…

What? She wasn’t sure.

She awoke one day and felt empty. Used. Her life, her entire life she’d given to others. Her mind, her body, her soul.

What did she have to show for it?

Friends? Not really. Companions rarely interacted with anyone outside their sect. And even if they did it was mostly in an exchange of ideas, no real discussions about themselves.

Family? No. Her family was lost to her. She hadn’t seen them in nearly fifteen years. No contact had been allowed until she had completed training and after that she hadn’t been able to locate them.

A life? Certainly not one of her own. She kept her own schedule but was required to fill so many hours a week in support of her sect. She hadn’t yet gained the status to set her own hours.

Inara discovered something about herself that morning. She discovered that she owned nothing in this world, not even herself. And more importantly she discovered that those feelings of loneliness and that sense of longing, longing for a home, were still there. There and stronger then ever, hungry for having slept so many years.

So she did the only thing she could. She left.

Inara had never been certain of where she would go upon leaving the sect, or even if she’d be allowed, but she was determined and a determined Inara was not someone to be opposed.

So she got her leave.

She would still be a licensed companion. Still make monthly contributions to her sect, but she would be free to travel as she liked and how she chose too.

And Inara chose Serenity.

She new that Malcolm Reynolds only wanted her onboard as cover for his more colorful jobs. And she also, after their first meeting no less, knew what he thought of her and her profession. But she chose Serenity just the same.

Never quite certain why herself, she had just known it was her place. From the moment she set foot on her. As if being aboard Serenity was a calling in itself. And now it was her home. A real home. And aboard it was her family. The only real family she’d known.

She sat and thought about how she’d ended up here. How lucky she’d been. How she’d found her way here. Home. Finally home.

And the more she thought the more she realized that no one ever really found serenity.

Serenity found them.

****

"Life For Rent" by Dido

I haven't ever really found a place that I call home I never stick around quite long enough to make it I apologize that once again I'm not in love But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea To travel the world alone and live more simply I have no idea what's happened to that dream Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine Cos nothing I have is truly mine Cos nothing I have is truly mine Cos nothing I have is truly mine

COMMENTS

Friday, March 12, 2004 9:16 PM

ANONYMOUS


This was a great insight on Inara. With her family and her training...I really don't find any fics with that. Beautifully done. Great job!

Cassandrae

Saturday, March 13, 2004 1:08 AM

AMDOBELL


I thought this was an excellent explanation of why Inara hired a shuttle on Serenity. Why a Companion would do such a thing. It all fits and I just love Dido so the song you chose from her latest album is like the icing on Inara's cake. Thanks for such a big shiny slice of it, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Saturday, May 22, 2004 6:58 AM

KNIGHTSHADE


This seems like good take on Inara's situation. For as prim and hauty as she could be sometimes about being a Companion, she seemed to have a yearning for something else. Well written, and a good explanation for her actions.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 1:04 AM

ANONYMOUS


This was a nice little fic, but I'm not sure it really captured Inara. She is portrayed as always maintaining a deliberate distance from the crew of Serenity. And it seems she is running away from intimacy, from family, even though she may yearn for it. Nevertheless, I enjoyed this fic.


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