And Baby makes 11 part 2
Monday, March 27, 2006

Zoe's getting on everyone's nerves. Part two of And Baby makes 11.


Zoë was confined to her bed, doctor’s orders. He allowed her only a couple of hours of movement. Most of that was spent washing up. She resisted at first the being confined to the bed. Wash would find Zoë in the cargo bay trying to load the cargo or take inventory on the goods. Inara had found Zoë in the kitchen standing on a chair trying to reach the top cupboard. The last draw was when Zoë had strapped on a pistol and somehow got on the mule to go do a job with Mal and Jayne. “Zoë what in the hell you think your doing?” Mal asked as he threw his bag on the mule. “The job sir.” Mal started laughing. “That is about the funniest thing I heard in a long while…Zoë you ain’t going.” “It’s a milk run. We dealt with Pablo before, shouldn’t be a problem.” Jayne joined them amused about how Zoë managed to get herself on the mule. “Zoë what you expect to when something goes wrong and a fight breaks out…ya planning to squash ‘em by sittin on them seeing how your rump got so big.” “Jayne.” Mal barked. “What! It’s true Mal. Zoë looks more like stuffed pig than a woman!” Zoë punched Jayne in the shoulder. “Oww. Why’d you do that for?” Jayne rubbed his aching shoulder. Mal laughing. “Jayne’s got a point…you ain’t no good to us like that…and if your husband found out that you went on a job…well…well he’ll try to kill me. I don’t want your babies to be without a father Zoë. So, no you ain’t going.” “Sir.” “No use in arguing, you ain’t going…Doc.” Mal screamed. “Doc!” Simon came running into the cargo bay. “What’s wrong?” He knew immediately what was wrong when he saw Zoë on the mule. “Seems that Zoë got in her head that she’s going on the job.” Mal said. “Zoë you’re supposed to be on bed rest.” Simon took her hand to get her off the mule. Jayne hopped on. “Mule run a lot faster now without all that weight.” “Jayne!” Mal barked. “What…I’m just saying what everybody thinking. Zoë woman you blew up.” “That’s because she is caring twins Jayne.” Simon responded. “Still look like a stuffed pig.” Mal turned and looked at Jayne. “Dumb ass.” He hopped on the mule and started her up. “We’ll be back in a few…Zoë ship’s yours.” Mal and Jayne drove off of Serenity’s ramp.

“You what!” Wash paced back and forth in the infirmary. “Zoë do we have to hog tie you to the bed to get you to sit still…first it was trying to stack crates, then it was standing on chairs, and now you actually tired to go on a job. Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiouh doh sai-jin wuh dhu pee-goo. Simon would you please talk some since into my wife. Cause I’m all out.” Wash stood with his hands on his hips. Simon finished drawing Zoë’s blood. “I have an idea…I’ll ask everyone to take shifts and sit with you so you won’t be so bored.” Zoë just took a deep breath. She was ready to get these kids out of her. Zoë was never the one to just sit around and do nothing type of girl. She hated to admit it but Simon and Wash was right she did need to slow down. It took her twenty minutes to get on the mule and another 20 to recover from getting on it. “Fine.” Zoë said dryly. “Fine?” Wash didn’t expect it to be that easy. Wash kissed her belly and whispered to it. “See, Daddy does win sometimes.”

Zoë hated Simon’s idea of the shifts even more than, her sitting in her room alone even more. No one talked to Zoë they just talked to her belly. When it was Kaylee’s shift Zoë would rest in her hammock in the engine room. Kaylee would talk to her belly about Serenity’s workins and what to do and not do. Kaylee would take each one of her tools and hold it up to Zoë’s belly and tell the babies what each did. During the Shepherd’s shift he would read Bible verses to her belly. Zoë didn’t mind that so much, because the Shepherd had a soothing voice. Put her to sleep. River even volunteer to sit with Zoë. River would hold whole conversations with her belly. Zoë could never make out what the girl was saying most of the time. River told Zoë she was telling the babies secrets of the universe that every child should know, before coming into it. It was odd, but Zoë figure this was a sane as River was going to get. Zoë thought Inara was going to be the more sensible one. She was wrong. Inara talked to her belly and not her all about the different planets she had visited. Sometimes Inara would play music for the babies. Even Jayne took a shift, which surprised Zoë and the rest of the crew. He would show her belly his gun and knife collecting. He would show each one lovingly tell the babies what each one did. And he promised them when they were old enough he’d buy them there first gun. But out of all of Serenity’s crew her husband was the worst of all. Wash was constantly talking to her belly. He would sit his cups on her belly. Zoë would wake up for naps and find plates on her belly. And what she hated most was that Wash would use her belly for his dinos. He called her belly their new moon. Zoë was ready to get these kids out, so that everything and everyone would go back to normal.

“Kaylee I told you I didn’t want a baby shower.” Zoë said as Kaylee covered her eyes and Wash helped lead her into the kitchen. “You gotta have a baby shower Zoë it’s only proper.” Gleefully Kaylee said. “Watch your step sugar lump.” Wash said cautiously. “How can I watch my step Wash when’s Kaylee’s hands are covering my eyes.” Zoë hated surprises she like know what was coming at her. “Stop whining.” Wash helped her over the door frame and sat her down at the kitchen table. “Surprise!” Everyone shouted. Zoë looked around the kitchen. Kaylee had decorated with paper and strings. Zoë could feel tears coming, “Damn hormones.” She said to herself. “You like it?” Kaylee asked. “Yeah I like it.” “Good. River and Inara helped me decorate. And Shepherd cooked dinner. Jayne and Simon got along long enough to set the table.” Mal walked into the kitchen. He had forgotten that they were throwing Wash and Zoë a baby shower. “What in happen in here…Kaylee did you let those space monkey’s get loose in my kitchen? It looks like something exploded in here” Kaylee rolled her eyes, “It’s called a baby shower.” Mal sat down at the table and looked at all the presents all neatly arranged. “These for me. It ain’t even my birthday.” Wash squatted Mal’s hand. “No they’ll all for Wash’s baby one and Wash’s baby two.” Mal acted like it hurt, “Wash’s baby one and two?” He gave Zoë what in the hell is Wash talking about look. “Open mines first.” Jayne shoved a present at Zoë and Wash. “This ones from my mother. I told her you two where having doubles.” Wash and Zoë looked at each other, “Doubles.” They whispered to each other. Zoë open the box that Jayne got her it was full of straw. “Straw exactly what every baby needs.” Sarcastically Wash added. “Ain’t straw. You ain’t dig in there far enough.” Jayne couldn’t wait for them to fine what his mother had made them so her pulled them out. “See.” Jayne held up two little knitted caps. “I told her you liked the one she made for me.” He dug a little deeper in the box and pulled out matching booties. “She made mitts for them too.” “I think there baby booties Jayne.” Kaylee added. Barely containing his laughter Wash added “Thank your mother for us. We’ve have the most stylish babies in the verse.” “That ain’t it.” Jayne gave them another box. “Ohh…I hope it’s matching hats for us.” Wash opened the box. “Jayne you shouldn’t have…look everyone.” Wash held up Jayne’s gift. “Baby’s first gun.” “There’s a knife in there too.” “Ah yes, baby’s first pocket knife…not only will our children be stylish but they will be armed. Isn’t that sweet dear.” “Yes very. Thank you Jayne.” “Won’t nothing.” Jayne was actually blushing which kind of scared everyone. Wash looked around the table. “Hmmm I don’t think anything will top, the Cobbs wonderful gifts…” He played en-meanie-miney-mo to pick the next gift to open. “This one would be next.” “That’s from me.” Book stepped up. Wash quickly unwrapped Books gifts. It was a collection of fairytales. “Thanks Shepherd.” River handed Wash and Zoë a piece of string. Wash just looked at it. “Just what we wanted…string…thank you River.” “It’s not string. It’s the tie that bonds…” “Oh yes. Right I see it now…honey it’s the tie that bonds.” Zoë looked at her husband then at River. “Thank you River honey.” Inara handed Zoë her gift. It was of course the most neatly wrapped present anyone had seen. Zoë opened it and it was two antique silver rattles. “They’re beautiful, Inara. Thank you.” Zoë said smiling. Inara gave her a big hug. “They’re engraved also; it’s the Chinese character for blossom.” Wash looked around the table they had open everyone’s gifts. “Well is that it.” Kaylee looked like she was going to pop. “No the Simon and mine is in passenger dorms.” Kaylee went over and covered Zoë’s eyes and lead her back to the passenger dorms. “It’s a nursery.” Zoë couldn’t fight the tears this time. The room was beautiful. Kaylee had painted half the room like the sky and the other like space. Of course in the space side there was Serenity. “Simon helped me paint it. Ain’t it shiny?” Kaylee ran to the other side of the room. “Shepherd built this.” She pointed to the two cribs that were made out of wood. “You like it sweetie?” Wash ask holding his wife’s hand. “Yes I do husband…Thank you all so much.” “Wait.” Jayne snorted. “Mal ain’t got you two nothing.” Zoë had notice that Mal had been distant ever since they had their argument about the Jiangsu job. Mal hadn’t even followed them to the nursery. Zoë let it go; she knew Mal would come around in his own time. The shower was fun. Kaylee even had games from them to play. Zoë was tired. Per Simon’s request he thought it would be better for Zoë if she slept in the nursery so she wouldn’t have to climb up and down the ladder in their bunks. This time she didn’t argue. It had become a chore to climb those things. “River honey just put the gifts anywhere.” Zoë said as she laid down on the bed. River was busy, counting and sorting the gifts. “…there are only pairs…she’s not going to like being left out.” “Uh huh…” Zoë drifted off to sleep.

It was due day and Zoë was ready. She enjoyed being pregnant and all but she was ready to get this kids out of her. She was in the infirmary way before anyone got up. Simon walked in a bit surprise. He still looked tired. “Zoë what are you doing here?” “Today’s the day…” “Zoë I told you that it’s estimation. I can’t guarantee that you’ll delivery today.” “Doc…don’t get me wrong…it’s been fun being pregnant but I’m ready to get these kids out of me.” Simon took out his tools and starting examining Zoë. “I know you’re ready, but it’s really the decision of the babies.” Zoë looked down at her extremely large belly. “You two ready for this verse…cause I’m aching to meet ya.” Wash came running into the infirmary half dress and half awake. “Did I miss it…Wash’s baby 1 and Wash’s baby 2 here yet?” Simon and Zoë both looked at Wash. “Honey, where’s your pants?” Zoë said laughing. Wash looked down he hadn’t notice that he forgot to put his pants on. “I woke up and you weren’t there…I thought it had started.” “No actually Zoë I don’t think that your going to be delivering the baby any time soon.” Zoë did not like that idea.

*****2 days over due******

Kaylee came running out the engine room in tears. She bumped into Wash on her way out. “Mei Mei what’s wrong?” Kaylee didn’t answer she just kept going. “Kaylee…Kaylee I’m sorry.” Zoë yelled out from the engine room. “Wife what did you do to make Kaylee cry?” Wash helped her down from the hammock she was sitting in. “I yelled at her.” “At Kaylee…why would you yell at Kaylee?” “I don’t know.” “What did you say to her?” Zoë looked a bit ashamed of herself. Kaylee was the sweetest girl in the verse. “I told her cheeriness was getting on my gorram nerves and if she didn’t stop smiling I was going to throw her out the airlock.” “Yep. That would send me running and crying out the room.” “It’s half your fault you know.” “Yes. Dear I know.”

**************4 days over due*********

Jayne was in the infirmary making a mess when Simon caught him. “Jayne what did I tell you about coming into my infirmary when I’m not here!” Jayne threw more of Simon’s things around the room. Simon grabbed his shoulder and turned him facing him. “Oh. What happen?” Simon asked looking at Jayne’s puffy face. “Don’t want to talk about it.” Jayne barked. Simon touched his eye. Jayne cursed at the touch. “That needs a weave on it.” Jayne sat on the bed still cursing under his breath. Wash came into the room laughing, “Jayne I’m sorry.” “Ain’t funny. You’re ruttin wife has lost it.” Jayne shifted in the seat. “Ouch...doc that hurts.” “Sorry.” “Jayne, Zoë didn’t mean to throw the mug at you.” “She’s lucky she’s a woman or I would of hit her back.” “Zoë threw a mug at you?” Simon was trying not to laugh. “She’s off her rocker…I wish she pop those brats out soon.” Jayne barked. “Me too.” Wash added.

********5 days over due********

“Zoë baby let me in.” Wash stood at the door of their new room. “Please…I’m sorry…you look as beautiful as the day frisk me…I’m sure that you will get you’re warrior woman body back real soon. Just let me in.” Book came up behind Wash and place his hand on his shoulder. “Trouble?” Wash jumped. “Sort of…Zoë’s locked me out.” Book came to the door. “Zoë, its me Book.” “Shove it preacher I don’t want to hear it.” Zoë barked from the other side of the door. Book took a step back. “Oh my.” He place his signature comforting hand on Wash. “Good luck son. I’ll pray for you.” Book walked a way in kind of a rush. “See Zoë you made the preacher run…let me in please.”

******6 days overdue********

“Doc it you don’t cut them out of me I’m going to do it myself.” Zoë barked as she wobbled into the infirmary. “Zoë, I don’t want to do a c-section if I don’t have too. Like I told you this morning you are no where near ready to give birth.” Simon said trailing in after Zoë. “I don’t care how you get them out doctor I just want them out.” Wash looked tired and warned out. He wanted the babies born just as bad as Zoë. “Simon is there anything you can give her to speed up the process. It’s been six days.” Wash sounded exacerbated. “I don’t want to give her anything. I can’t monitor her like I could if I was at a core hospital. Its easier if everything happens naturally. C-section is a last resort only if the babies or Zoë are in danger.” “I’m in danger Doc. Is there something that you can give me?!” Wash proclaimed. “Why are you whining? You’re not the one who gain 30 pounds. You’re not the one who had the breast tenderness, hemorrhoids or the nausea, you’re not the one who has to push out your big headed children. So stop complaining.” “But I am the one that has to deal with you. You and the tenderness, you and the hemorrhoids, you and the nausea, you and the mood swings….Sweetie you’re making it real hard…” “I’m making it hard…This is all you’re fault you know.” “You where there too.” Wash threw up his hands. River was standing in the doorframe of the infirmary. “Too hostile. They don’t want to come out in an unstable environment.”

******7 days overdue*******

Serenity had to land because something broke. Everyone volunteered to help Kaylee find the parts she needed for the ship. Really everyone wanted to get away from Zoë. Mal stayed behind to try and get some work done. He made sure that they took a walkie talkie with them just incase Zoë went into labor. He barely got the words out and they all where out the door. Zoë was trying to rest but the babies decided to do the hooky pokie on her bladder. After she finished her business. Zoë wobbled around Serenity. She loved this place and she couldn’t wait to raise her kids here. If they ever come out. She wobbled in the kitchen and sat down. She was seven days overdue and she had tried all the methods Simon had suggested to hurry up the birthing process, but nothing had worked. Finally Zoë remembered something River said about the babies not wanting to come out because their environment was unstable. Seeing how she apologized to everyone, there was one other person that was hindering her stable environment, Mal. Mal was in his bunk trying to balance out Serenity’s funds. He had been taking it easy ever since Zoë got pregnant taking milk runs. Bernoulli’s man had come through. They now had a steady flow of income coming in. But that wasn’t enough to keep Serenity flying and the crew feed. Mal heard footsteps coming down his bunk. He grabbed his gun. “Hello?” “It’s me Mal.” Zoë called down. “Zoë what do you think you’re doing?” Mal had to help her the rest of the way down. “If Simon or Wash knew you where climbing down stairs they would kill me.” “Had to talk to you.” “Ya could of use the com system.” Zoë sat down on his bed. She took a deep breath. It was harder to climb down than she thought. “You ok?” “I’m fine.” “So what’s on your mind?” Mal sat at his desk. “You and me never talked about this, not out right fully.” “Talked about what?” “Don’t play dumb, sir. My being pregnant.” Mal shifted. “Don’t seem to matter none seeing how any day now you gonna pop.” “It does to me. 9 months you have barely looked or spoke to me or Wash. You didn’t even give us a baby gift.” “Is that what this about, I didn’t give you a gift. I didn’t know you where so materialistic.” “You know damn well that ain’t it. We’ve been together a long while. You never been shy about telling me what’s on your mind. Why all of sudden you all mute.” “You want the truth.” “It would be nice.” “I’m mad at you…” Mal paused for a moment and looked at Zoë. He hadn’t really paid much attention to her. She had really gotten big. “I just don’t get it. Why would you go and get yourself knocked up. Why would you want to bring a new life in this verse. If you hadn’t notice it ain’t been to kind to us.” Zoë laughed. Mal had sounded just like Wash. Why where these men so scared of a little baby. “Yeah, we’ve seen our share of heartache, probably more than most…but I can’t let the bad things define how I live my life now. I want this Mal, probably more than I wanted anything in my life. You know what I also want?” “No.” “I want you to be happy for me. Truly happy for me. I don’t think that I could do this anywhere else but here on Serenity with all these people.” “You don’t need me…never did.” “Yeah…I do. I need you just as bad as I need Wash. You got me through the war…need you to get me threw this…cause I have know idea what to do.” Mal laughed. “You sure you want to do it here?” “Where else would I do it? These babies are going to be most spoiled loved babies in the verse. Between Wash and Kaylee these kids probably not only be able to fly but build their own ship. If Jayne had his way they would know how to shoot before they walk. Book would make it his duty to help them become good people. Inara would make them all mannerable. They would never get sick or have a scar with Simon around. And I know they would always be safe and have a home with their god father around.” Mal perked up. “God father?” “If anything was to happen to me or Wash I want you to look after them.” Mal thought for a moment, maybe Zoë was right that the verse wasn’t as big and bad as he made it out to be. She was right about most things. “So this godfather position you speak of…how’s the pay, any perks.” They hugged. “Zoë, uh what’s that?” They both looked down. There was liquid coming down Zoë’s leg. “I think my water broke sir.” “You’re what…why’d it do that for.” Mal stepped back. “That’s disgusting.”

I just finished watching the friends episode where Rachel is overdue...and I thought it would be wacky fun if Zoe was overdue...Any way hope you liked it.


Tuesday, March 28, 2006 2:24 PM


I love it, more!

Friday, June 2, 2006 3:22 AM


“You’re what…why’d it do that for.” Mal stepped back. “That’s disgusting.”
*rolls eyes and sighs* men!



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