She Shot Me
Thursday, December 14, 2006

Mal gets into a little trouble...


“Come on here let’s be adults.” Mal stepped back with his hands up. Mal and Zoë were out numbered and backed against the corner of a small storage room. “See, look I’m being an adult and putting my gun away.” Mal put his gun away in his holster. Mal turned to Zoë. “Zoë, you gonna put your gun away?” Zoë just looked at him. “I wasn’t planning on it, Sir.” Mal laughed. “Zoë.” Mal stressed her name. “Put your gun away so we can talk like normal folk.” “Sir, I don’t think the 5 men pointing guns at us are normal folk.” “You have a point there.” Mal stepped in closer to the men. “As my first mate has finely pointed out you out number us 5 to two.” Mal gave them a huge smile. “Mal, Mal, Mal.” An older woman stepped in between the men who were pointing their guns at Mal and Zoë. “Patience, you want to call off your boys?” Mal asked. “No.” She replied flatly. “Zoë.” “Patience.” “Mal, Mal after all I’ve done for you this is how you repay me? By stealing what’s mine.” “Won’t yours to steal.” Patience shrugged. “Schematics.” She walked closer to Mal and Zoë. “You know goodness well, that if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even have meet Colby and now your stealing jobs from me and mine.” “He went with the prettier of folks.” Mal walked up to Patience and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Look because I’m a generous person I’ll give you 3% of our take.” Patience looked at Mal’s hand as if it was covered in maggots. “Mal you don’t seem to understand what I am saying here. I want what is owe me.” She plucked Mal’s hand off her shoulder. “5, Patience. We were the ones who put our butts on the line all you did was sit there.” “After all I’ve done for you. You insult me by offering me 5%? If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have that rusty piece of niu lashi you call a ship.” “No need for name calling.” Mal stood beside Zoë. “Did you here what she called our ship?” “She has a point sir.” Zoë replied. Mal gave her a sharp look. “Yeah on the top of her head. Zoë, you calling Serenity…” “Well give you seven.” Zoë countered. Patience smiled. “I knew I always liked you Zoë. Got a good head on your shoulder.” Mal dug in his pocket and pulled out a pouch. “So, we’re giving her 7?” He said sarcastically. “Seems so sir.” Mal threw the pouch over to Patience. She opened it and examined its contents. “Mal good doing business with you.” “Like wise Patience….Now, I would take it as a comfort if you and your boys turn and leave.” Patience just nodded and waved for her boys to follow her out the door. Mal stood proud of himself as if he had accomplished a great feat. “I think that went well?”

Zoë just smiled. “Yes sir, you’re a real genius.” “What?” Mal put his hands on Zoë’s shoulders. “Did you….did you think? Zoë I had all that planed out from the beginning. I knew that Patience and her boys where going to corner us and try to take our coin. And I knew that we could haggle her down…I am truly hurt by your lack of faith and trust in me.” “Uh huh.” Mal and Zoë walked out of the storage room. Patience and her boys were on their horses waiting for them. “Why you still here? Need a receipt?” Mal asked. Zoë unbuckled her gun slowly. Patience smiled and drew her gun and amid it at Mal. He fell. Zoë drew her gun and returned the gun fire. Between the gun play and the laughter, Patience yelled out, “Zoë, when you tired of this old bum you know where to find me.” “Wode tou la shi ta ma de hun dan …that old goat shot me.” Mal grabbed his leg. Zoë helped him up. “I see that.” She gave him a look. “Don’t you dare say it.” “Say what?” She said innocently. “You know what gorramn well what…I can’t believe that zang jie hema… she shot me.” Zoë and Mal hobbled back to Serenity.

“Wash we’re on.” Zoë hit the com and helped Mal to the infirmary. “Zoë remind me next time not to deal with Patience.” Mal struggled to get on the bed. Zoë ripped his pants where he got shot to examine his wound. “It’s just a graze.” “Just a graze? Just a graze? You say that like it's no big deal. She shot me.” Zoë got some saline to clean out he wound. “I was there.” Mal winced. Zoë gave him a shot in the arm for the pain. “Ouch…you know your bed side manner is horrible.” Mal rubbed his arm. “What happened?” Kaylee peeked her head around the corner. “Zoë let Patience shoot me.” Mal said. Zoë ignored him and started to stitch up his wound. “Who’s Patience?” “A crazy old goat that Zoë let shoot me.” Zoë dug the needle in deeper. “Hey.” “Sorry sir.” She gave him a devilish smile. “Zoë are you ok?” Wash asked as he joined Mal and Zoë in the infirmary. “Is she ok? I’m the one on the infirmary bed.” Zoë finished up stitching up Mal. He stood up on his good leg. “I can’t believe you let her shoot me.” He hobbled out of the infirmary.

**** Translations niu lashi cow shit Wode tou la shi ta ma de hun dan sh*t on my head mother humping son a b*tch zang jie hema dirty old hippopotamus


Thursday, December 14, 2006 7:11 PM


*giggles* Funny! I always wondered what happened the first time around with Patience. Mal and Zoe were really in character, which is always a good thing.

Thursday, December 14, 2006 9:32 PM


That's not really what I imagine happening, myself. I think Patience would've shot him more suddenly than that.
I suggest you find yourself a beta reader; this was pretty stilted in the grammar dept.

Friday, December 15, 2006 2:32 AM


Very funny! I think you did the voices well.

Friday, December 15, 2006 4:39 AM


Not a bad piece of work, Tonyahuqt03. Certainly humourous with all of Mal's caterwalling...but I gotta agree with PhoenixRose: Mal getting shot would have been a surprise and a lot more potentially fatal than a leg wounding;)


Friday, December 15, 2006 4:14 PM


I liked it. There were some very good lines.

Monday, February 9, 2009 2:04 PM


cute. sweet. funny. if you're looking for a beta reader, look me up. i live for grammar and you have a fun gift for Mal & Zoe. i'd love to help. :)


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