And Baby Makes 11
Friday, March 24, 2006

There is going to be a new addition to Serenity's family. Zoe and Wash discuss their future. Mal takes a job that Zoe isn't on board with and forces her to make a choice. (updated)


I think I want to do a little bit more of this, but this is what I got for now.

Zoë and Wash where in their bunks. Zoë was lying in the bed trying to rest, but it was hard because Wash had decided that her stomach would be his new play land. “What should we call this fertile land?” He said in Bradley the Brachiosaurus voice. “We shall call it…it shall be named Wolfgang.” Wash said in Violet the Velociraptor voice. “No.” “Ok, it shall forever be named…Basil.” This was Bradley the Brachiosaurs voice. “No.’ Wash gave a whimper. “Then it shall be called Hubert.” Bradley proclaimed. “No.” Hopefully Wash suggested. “Hoban Jr?” “Do you want our baby to get beat up?” Zoë replied as she rubbed her husband’s head. “And how do you know it will be a boy anyway?” Wash sat up and bang on his chest. “Because I am a manly man and manly men have boys.” Zoë just laughed. “Ok…how bout Hobannette then for a girl?” “Hell no husband I am not naming our daughter Hobannette. I love our baby.” Wash flopped down back on the bed. He kissed his wife’s belly. “I guess I don’t care really…as long as it’s healthy and safe.” He played with her belly button for a while. Zoë relished the quite, but she knew that it wasn’t going to last. His finger’s trailed to the scar that she had on her stomach. “We really going to do this…here?” This was Wash’s serious voice. Zoë took a deep breath, she was waiting for this. “No better place.” “Do you think this is the right environment to raise a little helpless baby? Sweetie we live a pretty rough and tumble life out here in the black…I just think that maybe now is the time that we settle down. Maybe start that farm.” He rubbed her belly as he spoke. Zoë pulled him closer to her. “Don’t matter where we go, life is going to be hard. Life is hard. At least out here we got people who have our backs and love and care for us. They would rather die than have anything happen to our baby.” She kissed her husband. “Besides you don’t know how to farm.” “You haven’t listened very well to my plan women. The plan is to have the kids do all the farming and we just watch from the porch. Beside I can’t be out in the sun too long. I burn too easy.” “Wash I need do on the bridge.” Mal yelled over the com. Wash gave out a deep breath and buried himself in his wife’s chest. “Muqīn hé tā shén māo fēngkuang!” Zoë pulled Wash’s face up. “You should see what the captain wants.” Slowly Wash got up. He stopped at the bottom rung of the latter and ran back to Zoë and kissed her belly. “See you later Fabiyan.” “No.” “Jeb.” “No.” “Cosmo.” “No.” “Dexter.” “Wash. Out.” Zoë commanded. Wash climbed out of there bunk. Zoë took a deep breath. Finally peace and quiet. “Zeus.” Wash called down from the top of their bunk. “No.”

Mal was waiting on the bridge. He was growing impatient. It had been a week since Zoë announced that she was expecting and ever since then, no worked had been done. Everybody was fussing over a baby who wasn’t even born. “Nice of you to join me.” Wash just ignored him and sat down in his chair. He turned around so that he be facing Mal who was standing in the doorway. “Set a course for Jiangsu.” “Jiangsu? No ruttin way Mal. I ain’t flying no where near Jiangsu.” “Wasn’t asking.” “No, I’m not taking her anywhere near that mógui moon.” Mal wasn’t sure if Wash was talking about Serenity or Zoë, but he didn’t care they had a job to do. “You want to feed that budding family of yours, so I suggest you set a course for Jiangsu.”

With that said Mal walked out from the bridge. He could hear Wash’s slue of swears behind him. He stopped at Zoë and Wash’s bunk. He thought about going down and talking to Zoë. He had been avoiding her all week. His mind was telling his foot to move but the gorram thing wouldn’t budge. So, he gave up. As Mal was turning to leave he bumped into Inara. “Sorry.” “I was looking for you.” “Well you found me.” “I hope that we are going some place that I can screen some respectable clients.” “No.” “Mal, I’m tired of going to back water moons and….” “Look I know that you have a burning desire to service some man Inara, but I go where the money is and right now the money is telling me to go…” Mal paused for a moment. “You amazed me Mal, you’ll do anything to keep people from being happy. You just want people to be as miserable as you.” “I’m sorry if I’m keeping your…what is that you call them…clients from your finely trained services, but I got to keep my boat flying and my crew fed. And if you haven’t heard I got myself one more mouth to feed.” “How could you use Wash and Zoë’s baby for an excuse…you haven’t even told Wash or Zoë that you’re happy for them. It’s been a week since Zoë announce her pregnancy and you haven’t even spoken to her let alone look at her since.” Inara studied Mal’s face. “You are happy for them?” Mal didn’t answer he just walked away. It amazed Mal how Inara could get under his skin.

Kaylee, Simon, and River where in the infirmary. Simon was disinfecting the room for the fourth time. “How many times you gonna clean this room.” Kaylee asked as she hopped up on the counter. “Until it’s clean…Kaylee…don’t sit up there.” Simon gently guided her off of the cabinet. Kaylee blushed at Simon’s touch. “You’d could eat off the floor in here if you wanted to Simon it’s that clean.” Simon wiped down the area that Kaylee was sitting at. She gave him a funny look, but he didn’t notice. “Yeah well I want to make sure that everything is set for when Zoë delivers. Delivery can be a dangerous thing, even in the best…River don’t touch that.” Simon took the Stethoscope from River’s hand. “…of conditions. We’re in the middle of no where. I just want to be prepared.” Kaylee laughed. “Simon, you got plenty of time before Zoë has her baby…” “Seven months, two weeks, three days, nine hours, 42 minutes…” Simon and Kaylee both looked at River as she calculated the time that Zoë would give birth. “You need to relax and have fun” Kaylee ruffled Simon’s hair a bit. “You do know how to relax and have fun?” “No.” River answered for him. Simon turns and looks at his sister. “I know how to have fun…its just…River don’t do that.” River had gotten into the cotton ball jar and starting throwing them everywhere. “Snowball fight. Come on Simon play in the snow.” Kaylee laughed and joined River in the fun. “Come on Simon play in the snow.” She threw a cotton ball at him and hit him between the eyes. “Oopps. Sorry.” Kaylee kissed Simon where she had thrown the cotton ball. Simon froze. “I should…I should check on Zoë. Can you watch River for me?” Simon quickly ran out the room. “See no, fun.” River said.

Mal was playing horseshoes with Jayne and Book when Zoë stormed into the cargo bay. “What kind of job you have lined up for us that we have to go to Jiangsu?” Mal threw another horseshoe. “Ain’t looking to talk about that now.” He began to throw another one when Zoë stepped in front of him. “What are you looking to do?” “We need the job.” “Not that bad.” “Not that bad…not that bad…we got parts that need to be fixin’, fuel, umm let’s see what else oh yeah food.” Mal and Zoë where standing toe to toe. “Jiangsu? Did you say Jiangsu? I ain’t going no where near that ruttin place.” Jayne snorted. “Shut it Jayne.” Mal barked. “If you got a better job lined up Zoë...cause I’m all ears.” Zoë didn’t answer. She just stood there looking like she might actually shoot Mal. “We don’t have to take the job. We made it threw worst before.” “Well I’m tried of just making it Zoë. This job will pay for its self ten times.” Jayne stepped in. “Zoë right Mal. No amount of coin is worth going to Jiangsu.” “Jayne is your mouth still running, you might want to check that.” Mal stepped a little closer to Zoë. Their noses where almost touching. “If you don’t want to do the job…” Shepherd Book interjected he didn’t like the path this was going. “Maybe we should all cool down, before we say something we might regret.” “Too late for that Shepherd.” Zoë said still in her death stare with Mal. Kaylee, River, and Simon came to see what all the arguing was about. “What’s going on here?” Kaylee asked sounding a bit worried. The captain and Zoë looked like they where going to kill each other. “Captain…Zoë?” Jayne walked around Zoë and Mal like a cat ready to pounce. “Captain here seems to have lost his gorram mind…seems he’s lined up us a job on Jiangsu. Zoë just trying to talk some since into him.” “Do I have to shut that gorram mouth of yours myself?” “Look I ain’t the one to turn down good coin…but Mal you got to be crazy to go anywhere near Jiangsu.” “We should all calm down.” Book put a gentle hand on Jayne’s shoulder. This seemed to tame the beast a bit. “Captain, why don’t you explain…” “Explain…preacher? When does the captain have to explain himself. Look this is for all of you. This is my boat and I’m the captain. We take the jobs I say. If you don’t like them, then the next piece of rock is your destination. Dong ma.” Kaylee was about to burst into tears. “Captain.” Mal didn’t respond neither did Zoë. They just stood there looking at each other. “Well Zoë, you with me?” Mal had crossed the line at least two times over, but he couldn’t loose face, at least not now. “Stone statue. Erosion eating away at it making it into smaller pieces. Easier to sallow…” River’s voice trailed off a bit, “when she leaves…” “Always, Sir.” Zoë said coldly not breaking her stare down with Mal. “Good.” Mal was the one breaking the stare off with Zoë. “If anyone else has an objection, speak up now.” Mal looked around at everyone. No one spoke up, not even Jayne. He dropped the horse shoes and left the room.

“His lost his gorram mind. Zoë you should of put Mal in his place.” Jayne barked as the stood in front of Zoë. “Ain’t nothing good about going to Jiangsu and you know it. He’s going to get us all killed.” Zoe felt like she was going to be sick. She had never felt like this before, all types of emotions rushed her at once. Jayne was right, Mal had lost his mind. “Zoë, you alright?” Simon asked sounding a bit concerned. Zoë’s face had become pale. “Maybe you should lie down.” Jayne stepped back it looked like Zoë was going to throw up. “I’m fine doctor.” Zoë left in the direction that Mal had left. This wasn’t over at least not for her it wasn’t.

Kaylee looked all kinds of confused and scared. “What just happened here?” “You ain’t heard of Jiangsu?” Jayne asked. Kaylee shook her head no. “It’s a penal moon. They send the worst criminals in the verse there.” Book told the girl. Jayne looked at Book. “Yeah they make me look all warm and fuzzy like Santa Claus.”

Mal was in the kitchen. All this insubordination was making him thirsty. He knew that round two with Zoë was coming soon, so he poured some of Kaylee’s wine he stashed away in a cup. The mug barely touched his lips when Zoë joined him. “Mal I’ve followed you to hell and back, no questions asked. Didn’t have a need to question you, because in the end I always had faith in you.” “Didn’t ever asked you to have faith in me…” Mal gulped the rest of the wine and poured himself another glass. Inara came into the kitchen; of course she was mad at Mal too. “Jiangsu, Mal. It’s suicide going there.” “Don’t recall asking for your opinion Inara.” “I don’t recall caring. There other jobs you can take that does not involved you going to that lawless place. You might as well be dealing with Reavers.” Inara stood beside Zoë. Mal looked at the two women it was too much estrogen in the room. He had to get out. “If you would take me up on my offer, I’m sure I could find someone to buy the Lassiter.” “Thought we been down this road before.” “We have, but it’s a better road than the one you’re currently going down.” Inara looked at Zoë who was pale. “Zoë you don’t look so well.” Zoë staggered a bit she had to hold on the counter for balance. “I’m fine.” She fell to the floor. Mal instantly went to her side. He shook a bit to wake her. “Zoë…Zoë…don’t you dare…don’t you do this to me.” Inara just stared for a moment watching Mal rock Zoë. “Get the doctor.” Mal barked. Inara didn’t argue and ran out the kitchen. Moments later Simon was in the kitchen followed by all the crew except Wash. “What happened?” Simon looked at Mal. He should have made Zoë rest before. “Help me get her into the infirmary.” Mal quickly scooped up Zoë and ran her to the infirmary. Mal gently placed her on the bed. “She gonna be ok, doc?” Mal looked worried. If anything happen to her he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. Simon didn’t reply he just went into doctor mode. “Doc!” Mal yelled. Still working, “Please, Captain I need to work.” Simon said as calmly as possible. “Wuh de tyen, ah, Zoë baby…” Wash came into the room and immediately to his wife’s side. Mal backed up when Wash came in. “Doc what’s wrong?” Wash took his wife’s hand and kissed it. Simon kept on working. Shepherd Book came in to comfort Wash. “Let the doctor, work.” Book tired to pry Wash from his wife’s side, but he wouldn’t budge. “Come on. It’ll be ok. Simon is an excellent doctor.” Wash looked into Book’s eyes. He believed him, but he still didn’t want to leave her. Wash kissed her on her lips. They felt cold. He whispered, “I love you.” Before he let the Shepherd take him out. Mal stood there a moment watching the doctor work. Simon was definitely good at his job. He figured the Shepherd was right so he left. Mal looked at Inara and Kaylee standing in the window. Kaylee looked at him like he had just shot a crate full of puppies. Inara just gave him one of her signature glares. Mal was heading back to his bunk when he heard a beeping noise, a wave was coming through. Mal went to the bridge and pulled up the wave. “This is Captain Malcolm Reynolds, how can I help you?” “It’s me Mal, Bernoulli.” “Bernoulli what can I do you for?” “I was hoping to catch you before you were too far out. Your probably still close enough to get vid, put me up” Mal cut on the vid screen. It flickered at bit, but he could still make out Bernoulli’s face. “What’s up.” “I got a job for you. I got a client who needs some merchandise moved off world, discreetly.” Mal sat in Wash’s chair. “I’m listening.” “The powers that be on his planet don’t take kindly to the type of merchandise he sells. So the only way he can make any profit is too sell it off world. I’m in a bind here Mal, the guy I usually hire for this job, went and got himself pinched by the feds. It’s good coin. And if all goes well, this could be a regular gig for you and yours.” Mal thought for a moment. Bernoulli’s job wasn’t half as dangerous as the job he had lined up. But Bernoulli’s job wouldn’t pay as much either. He had a choice to make. “We’ll take it.” It wasn’t a hard of a choice to make. “Good. The job is on Diphda. Your contact is a fellow named Pete Lester. You can meet him in New London docks. He’ll be waiting for you.” “The payment?” “You’ll get half when you pick up the goods on New London. The other half when you drop them off on Shenyang with a fellow goes by the name of Wake. In all you should make away with 275 coin.” “What’s your take.” “I already got mine. So, when can Pete be expecting you?” Mal scratched his head. He wasn’t sure how far out they were. “Give us a week or so.” “I’ll tell him you be there in two how bout that?” “Sounds good.” “Good doing business with you Mal.” “Likewise.” Mal cut off the vid screen. He was pleased with him self. Now he wouldn’t be the hideous monster that his crew had made him out to be. This job seem easy enough that him and Jayne could handle it by themselves. Mal tried to change course, but the way Wash had set things Mal couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. “Kaylee need you in the bridge ma shong.” It wasn’t long until Kaylee came up to the bridge. She didn’t look too happy to see him. “What is it captain?” She asked folding her arms. “Need you to change course. I can’t make heads or tails of the nav system. Wash got it all kinds of confusioning.” “Shah muh?" “Change of plans. We got a job on Diphda.” Mal got up giving the seat to Kaylee. Kaylee clicked a few buttons to change course. “Captain.” Kaylee turned around to face Mal. “Yeah lil’ Kaylee?” She paused for a moment. “You and Zoë going to be alright?” Mal put a comforting hand on Kaylee’s shoulder. “Let me worry about Zoë and me. You just keep Serenity flying.” “These bits and pieces ain’t the only thing that keeps Serenity flying, Captain.” Mal just looked at his mechanic and smiled.

Simon entered the common’s area where Book and Wash where waiting. He took a deep breath before speaking. “There was some bleeding…I was able to stop it. Zoë going to be fine. She’s resting.” Wash let out a sigh of relief. “And the baby?” Simon smiled, “The babies are fine.” “Can I see her?” “Yes for a little while.” Wash and Book both got up. Wash was half way up when he stopped. “Did you say babies?” “Yes.” “As in plural. More than one.” “Yes. I don’t know how I missed it before, but when I was examining Zoë I got two different heartbeats.” “Their having twins?” Book asked grinning ear to ear. “Yes.” Wash grabbed his chest and sat back down. “Twins…I’m having twins.” He sat there for a moment happy as sunshine. “Hoban One and Hoban Two.” Wash got up and ran into the infirmary. Book and Simon both looked at each other with puzzled looks. Simon asked, “What’s a Hoban?” Book just shook his head “I think it’s Wash’s first name.” “Ah. I hope Zoë doesn’t let him name the babies.” “I pray that she won’t.”

Mal was in his bunk he pulled out an old box that was on his shelf and he open it. It was a bunch of old pictures. He took out one. It was a picture of him and his regiment. It was taken a week after he was “promoted” to sergeant seeing how their old sergeant was all corspedified. He turned the picture over and read it. “57th Balls and Bayonets Brigade 2508.” He studied the picture. They were all kids. Kids who were dead now. He threw the picture back in the box and shut it. Mal laid back into his bed. How could Zoë even think about bringing a kid into the verse. His mind wondered back to Tracey. Tracey made it through the war, but it was real life he couldn’t handle. He was dead too. He thought about River and Simon they were just babes. They had all the fineries in life and look at them now. Fugitives. River was just a kid and the Alliance had toyed with her just for giggles. Simon had his doctor career in front of him and gave it all up for his sister. Zoë was crazy Mal thought bringing a baby into this verse. Didn’t make any sense to him. But he knew if he wanted to keep Serenity flying he needed Zoe by his side. Not only because of Wash, but because he needed her. Mal knew he had to bit the bullet and apologize.

Everyone was in the infirmary talking to Zoë and Wash when Mal came in. The room grew silent. Mal looked around the room at the faces of his crew and took a deep breathe. “Why don’t we give the Captain, Zoë, and Wash a moment alone.” Book said quietly. Inara looked at Mal. “Kaylee why don’t you help me prepare dinner.” Inara stretched her hand out to Kaylee and they left the room. Jayne hopped down from the counter and followed them out, but not without giving Mal a death look. “I’ll be back to check on you later…River let’s leave them alone.” River spoke barely over a whisper. “It’s better to love and lost then to have ever not loved.” She quietly followed her brother out the room.

Mal stepped in closer. He could feel the tension. “Zoë, I…” He didn’t have the words to say. “It’s ok sir.” Zoë’s voice was weak. He came closer to her and took her hand. “No its not…I was a zìsī yúchǔn bèndàn.” Zoë gave a weak smile, “And when is that out of the ordinary.” Mal chuckled a bit. “I take it Kaylee told you our change of plans.” Zoë nodded. Wash had a big grin on his face as he squeezed his wife’s hand. He was too happy to be upset with Mal. “Can I tell him…I wanna be the one to tell him.” Mal looked at Wash. “Tell me what.” “We’re having twins.” “Twins?” “Yep twins. Little Hercules and Hextor.” “Hercules and Hextor?” Mal looked down at Zoë. “I was thinking along the lines of Malcolm and Pascal.” Zoë looked at Mal. “Pascal?” Trying to sound offended, “What’s wrong with Pascal. It’s a good name. It’s my middle name. Yep. Pascal Washburne gotta kind of a ring to it.” Zoë laughed, “Hell no to the both of you. I ain’t naming my kids Hercules, Hextor, Malcolm and definitely not Pascal.”

Hoped you liked it. Still not really sure if I want to end it here. But as of now here where its ended. Wacky fun?


Saturday, March 25, 2006 7:22 AM


The conversation between Zoe and Wash about the baby's name was so hilarious!!! I was LMAO, and I think you have a cute little story going on here!

Saturday, March 25, 2006 9:50 AM


I sure wish Mal wasn't so uptight, don't want him to push a wedge between himself and Zoe. If that happens the crew may not hold together. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Saturday, March 25, 2006 9:58 AM


I think Mal is so uptight not because he doesn't want the baby to come, but because he realizes he'll be as responsible for its health and safety as Wash and Zoe. It will automatically be a part of his crew, but unlike the rest of them, it won't be able to care for itself and that makes Mal all kinds of nervous.

And the naming thing was absolutely hi-larious! God, I love Wash!


"Wash. Out."

Just great ... :O)

Saturday, March 25, 2006 10:56 AM


That was great. I love the naming thing, not to sound cliche, but it was just so awesome! Please find a way to get Mal's head out his pigu before he ruins his crew!!! :)

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 2:38 AM


*yells through megaphone at mal and wash* step away from the baby names!!



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