Why Don't You Like Me?
Monday, March 20, 2006

I’ve had an idea in my head for a while now… what must their relationship been like as they came to fall in love.


Wash sat in the pilot’s chair, one hand casually on the wheel, the other holding a fruity bar as he carefully examined it. “Don’t much look like anything good, but is good for you. You ever wonder why that should be?” he asked no one, as he was alone in the cockpit.


“Who you talkin’ to?” Zoe asked, entering from the passageway. She looked around, bewildered.

“I’ll have you know that the three of us talk all the time. We have marvelous conversations, about really interesting stuff,” Wash answered flippantly. She always intimidated him. He covered for it by being flippant. Hell, he covered all his shortcomings by being flippant.

Puzzled, “The three of you?” she asked, not sure she really wanted an answer.

“Me. Myself. And I.”

“Right. Cap’n wants in ETA on our arrival,” Zoe said, inching away from the odd man Captain Reynolds insisted on placing in the pilot’s chair.

He checked the chrono, “We’ll arrive Eavesdown Docks in 12 hours, 52 minutes, and 37 seconds… 1 hours and 23 minutes ahead of schedule I am happy to report,” Wash replied, beaming.

“Thanks,” she said as she quickly leapt down the steps. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

The job they had just finished, for once going according to plan, paid off better than expected. Even Jayne agreed to pulling some of the extra money together for a proper shindig. Food from various vendors around the docks sat covering the table. Several kegs were rolled in, and music was playing loudly as everyone celebrated.

“To Badger,” Mal said, raising his glass. “I never have liked the go tsao de son of a whore, but he did come thru this time. To Badger!” His toast was met with hisses from everyone around, but they all drank anyway.

Wash was sitting at the table, drinking and watching the goings on when he felt a tap on his shoulder, “Are the three of you enjoying yourselves?” Zoe asked, a wry smile on her face.

“We are indeed. And you,” he said, appraising her. “Are you having a good time?”

“I am at that. Been too long worrying over things,” she answered.

“I have a question. And I’m only asking ‘cause I’ve drank enough to feel bold,” Wash started, turning to face her straight. “Why don’t you like me?”

She briefly seemed taken aback, and then realized that she initially didn’t like him at all. That had changed over the time she knew him, impressed as she was with his flying ability. She realized long ago that his goofy exterior was a cover for his being basically afraid of everything. How did she cover herself? Always tough, deferring to the Captain so she wouldn’t have to make a decision.

“I like you fine Wash. I mean to say, you’re a little odd, but I like you,” she finally answered. Too much alcohol, fogs the mind and loosens the tongue, she thinks, looking around at everyone. “Excuse me for a minute; I’ve got to freshen up.” She didn’t wait for an answer, but quickly left the common area, heading the wrong way for the facilities.

“Jen duh sh tyen tsai, Wash!! Damn brilliant.” He followed her, grabbing a bottle of brew as he went, not sure what he’d do if he found her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Find her he did, sitting in the cargo bay. “Listen. I should know when to curb my enthusiasm. There you were, talking to me, and I blew it,” he said, taking a seat next to her. “Got all adle-brained, askin’ a question like that.”

“No, you’re okay. It’s me. I just don’t often talk about my feelings, and it suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t want to be doin’ it in front of everyone like that. I’m not so far gone that I couldn’t stop myself,” she said, indicating the glass still in her hand.

“Well hell, let’s change that. Just you and us here,” he smiled as he poured some homebrew into her glass. “To speaking our minds, only to regret it later!” he said and downed what was left in his glass.

She drank too and fixed him with a look, “Hoben Washburn, I constantly underestimate you…”

“I underestimate myself too,” he interrupted, laughing.

“I’ve seen you fly this boat in ways I wouldn’t believe possible. You ask, and she responds. You’re just so damn strange sometimes.”

“I know. Everyone thinks that. That way, when I do something truly amazing, they’re even more impressed. It’s all part of my dastardly plan to take over the ‘vers.” He smiled, seeing her smile. She truly is a beautiful woman, he thought… funny I never noticed before now.

“Well, it works.” They drank in silence for a while, listening to the festivities still going on. “Hey, pour me more of that rot-gut, I’m feeling not yet loose enough,” she said, indicating the bottle sitting between them. He poured and sloshed some over both their legs.

”Ai ya, hwai luh! I’m sorry ‘bout that.” They both got up suddenly and found themselves standing face to face on the step, laughing at the mess they both were.

“You’ll ‘prolly kill me, but I’m gonna kiss you,” he said, leaning in.

“Righly so. Though I might should kill you if you don’t,” she replied.

They kiss. Gently at first, as Wash is still very afraid of this warrior woman and how she might hurt him. She takes charge suddenly, masterfully kissing back and letting him know he’ll LIKE the way she’ll hurt him. Without preamble, she drags him to a nearby crate, hidden from prying eyes by the overhanging walkway. They clumsily strip the clothes off each other and go at it like rutting rabbits, only it’s she doing the riding, in full control. ~~~~~~~~~

And so it went, every night for a week, sneaking about the ship.

“Zoe, tell me about you and Wash,” Mal asked out of the blue as they were going over supplies for their next job.

“Nothing to tell Sir,” she said, hedging away from admitting their relationship.

“Don’t make me make it a order now… I know somethin’ is goin on, gorramit! He’s all mooneyed all the time… more mooneyed than was usual! And I aint seen you smile so much since… well, since never!!”

Watching his eyes bugging out, Zoe can’t contain herself, “Sir, we’re in love. I mean to marry that man and there’s not a whit you can do about it,” she replies, standing defiant against him.

“Wuh de tyen, ah! If there was one! I was wonderin’ if ever there’d be a man could do that for you!! I’m happy for you, truly I am. Now, you got to do somethin’ for me…tell everyone about it, ‘cause they’re driving me mad, everyone one of ‘em, askin’ all the time what’s goin’ on with you,” Mal says, smiling at her.

“Yes Sir!"she says, smiling back, feeling happy for the first time in a very long time. ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

go tsao de “Dog humping” Jen duh sh tyen tsai "an absolute genius" Ai ya, hwai luh "Sh** on my head!" [exclamations for bad news] Wuh de tyen, ah! “Dear god in heaven."


Monday, March 20, 2006 2:18 PM


You're right... she'd say "Yes Sir!" I thought the same thing on my drive home today.

Monday, March 20, 2006 2:41 PM


Pretty damn shiny! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, March 20, 2006 3:06 PM


There, fixed it.

Thanks Amdobell!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 12:13 AM


Just a question i may be completly wrong but do you remember in war stories when mal said that he didnt want zoe to marry wash?? or was that just the torture talking... anyways i love it

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 5:26 AM


I do remember that. Just watched it again yesterday. I figure it was the torture talking. ;~)

Sunday, May 28, 2006 5:56 AM


sweet, in a "there's a definite possibility she's going to kill him" kind of way


Sunday, May 28, 2006 7:30 AM


Thanks B!


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Why Don't You Like Me?
I’ve had an idea in my head for a while now… what must their relationship been like as they came to fall in love.