Scene: We see our Captain Reynolds sweaty and more than a little uncalm walking quickly into the dormitory hallway of Serenity . The shot settles as the captain’s face is seen in full on the left half of the screen and Kaylee can be seen coming in behind him out of focus on the right. He looks back not really looking like he wants to ask the question he is about to.

Mal Gasou! She’s hot! Kaylee what temp she runnin?

Kaylee Too hot, captain!

Mal (Ordering)Get the doc down there to help you and make sure she’s taken care of.

Scene: Jayne enters from where Kaylee and the captain had come from

Jayne She’s about to blow if you ask me. Leaking everywhere and making sounds I ain’t never imagined.

Mal (quickly)Shut up, Jayne! (yelling at the cockpit)Can you set a course and land somewhere River, preferably with all the help we’ll be need’n?

Scene: Cut to a close-up of River looking over her shoulder with a smile on her face

River Sure.

Mal Good crazy girl. I’ll be up there in just a sec. (Turns to Kaylee) Go. Now.

Scene: Cut to Kaylee entering Simon’s room. Simon is asleep with the blankets around him and in his pajamas.

Kaylee (worried and somewhat scared)Simon, Get up! We’re going to need your help!

Simon (sleepily)What?! Wait?! What’s going on?!

Kaylee (explaining and getting angry)She’s in pain I can hear her from here and you need to get your {ass} down there to help!

Simon (rationalizing and tired)Would you just hold on a second, Kaylee. We seem to be landing ok I’m sure whatever’s wrong with the ship can at least wait until I have my shirt and pants on. Can’t it?

Kaylee (explaining in the way one would about consequences to a third grader) Zoe’s water broke. She’s gone into contractions and we can’t figure out what painkillers to give her. She’s getting a tad irritable and we think she might be ill to make matters worse.

Simon (surprised and somewhat horrified) Oh.

Scene: Cut to Zoe’s face in pain in the infirmary

Zoe AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where in {the name of all that is good and holy} is that {worthless} doctor??!!!!!!

Scene: Zoom out to see Inara at her side holding her hand and Zoe squeezes maybe too tightly as evidenced by Inara’s facial expression

Inara: I’m sure Kaylee’s getting him now. Just try to hold it together a little longer.

Zoe: I swear if he doesn’t get here right now I’ll use every one of Jayne’s toys to give the doctor holes to fix for the rest of his short tenure on this boat!

Scene: Camera moves to the door as Jayne enters and leans against one of the counters

Jayne Who said I was giving you anything. I’m fairly certain we already had a shower for the thing.

Inara I don’t remember “you” getting her anything.

Scene: Jayne shrugs at this

Scene:camera moves to Inara’s eyes glazing over the to the entrance as Kaylee and Simon enter. Simon still in PJs

Simon Ok let’s see how this is going.

Scene: Simon takes a quick look between Zoe’s legs

Simon (nervously)Yep, you’ll be needing something for the pain

Zoe (Screaming)Really?!

Scene: Cut to Serenity entering the planet’s atmosphere We hear a sound of relief before it switches back to Zoe in the infirmary receiving her baby from Simon

Cut to close up of Simon

Simon Looks to be about ten pounds or so and as healthy as can be seen from what I have here….(deadpan pleading)Please don’t shoot me for not being here sooner.

Zoe I’ll consider it but don’t get your hopes up, doctor.

Simon Well the baby and mother seem to be fine. I think we should all just let them get a little peace and quiet now. Just get on the com if you need me Zoe I’ll be right here by fear of your gun, I promise.

Zoe {Damn straight}

Kaylee (deflated)But I wanted her to tell us his name

As everyone else leaves Mal finally comes in to lean against the counter and talk to Zoe.

Zoe Oh captain, my captain…where in sam hill were you, sir?

Mal Oh just making sure we had a smooth landing and that uh we were headed to where we could get you checked out all proper like. (same tone as Simon previously)Please don’t shoot me for not being here sooner. So it looks like you and Wash made this little bundle of happiness right around the time we got the truth out about the reavers. So when was that exactly?

Cut to a close up of Zoe giving Mal a somewhat incredulous look for being asked about her sex life

Mal (very nervous)I mean we were kind of busy back then and I guess so were….

Zoe Sir, are you sure you want to continue this line of questioning?

Mal You know what, you’re right. Let me just get out of here and give you some time alone here with your boy before we land.

Scene: Mal begins to walk out. He stops when Zoe begins to talk. He looks back over his shoulder at her

Zoe It was either right before we were goin through reaver territory or right before we thought we may get blown out of the sky by the alliance. We always like to make sure we had no regrets before goin out to die unlike some people.

Scene: Mal begins to turn around

Mal (not angry but not really wanting to talk about what he knows this is about) Now wait just a {darn} minute. What’s that supposed to mean?

Zoe (explaining)Sir, I’m in no mood to have this conversation-slash-argument right now. So let me just lay it out like this so I can spend some quality time with my son. (somewhat impatient)As long as this here bundle of joy has been growing and kicking in my belly you and Inara haven’t said nearly a peep to each other in private. (Incredulous)You don’t even invade the privacy of her shuttle to call her a whore anymore.

Scene: Mal snickers slightly then deflates when Zoe says…

I would think that this odd silence should end now cause there ain’t no way your toungue tiedness is goin to last more than my pregnancy without me shooting you, sir. After all what you’re carryin around ain’t goin to be nearly as painful getting rid of.(ends with a smile)

Scene: Mal smiles, looks away and walks out. There is a pause. The view is still on the door as Jayne peeks his head around and looks in at Zoe. He walks in with his hands behind his back and then kneels beside Zoe. She just looks at him like “what”?

Jayne presents a small box with a ribbon wrapped around it.

Jayne (Actual pleading)Please don’t shoot me for not getting this to you sooner.