Chapter 2: I Heart Frankie

I sat on the mauve sofa lounger as she sat opposite me on her bed.

Quickly, knowing that if I didn’t slip it in at that moment I probably wouldn’t have the courage to later, I asked “You alright?” It was a vague unassuming question, the kind that could be taken as a greeting or, in this case, as a genuine enquiry of a person’s wellbeing – be it emotional or physical.

Instantly shrugging it off, she replied “Fine”

It seems she was being just as vague, but I continued with my line of thought anyway, in the hope that she would open up a bit. “The guy…” I began to ask

“Just a jerk. They all are”

“What… Guys?”

“Yea… well no, not all guys… just… him, he’s a jerk.”

“Yeah, I gathered”

Already I could sense that the conversation was heading into a direction contrary to the one I thought she might need to talk about. But if that’s the way things are going, so be it, I thought. I wasn’t going to force it out of her – I could end up making her feel worse. Trouble was, at that moment, I couldn’t think of something else to talk about. Fortunately, before I began to really struggle with my brain to conjure up a decent talking point, Frankie stepped in and killed the silence with “So… what’s the problem this time?”

“What do you mean?” I asked innocently

“Well you know the routine by now. You come in, talk about a crazy sexual encounter you have or are about to experience, and I dispense wise wisdom. So what is it this time? Peg-leg strikes again?”

Her friendly cynicism caused me to raise a smile, not just for the comment in of itself, but in admiration of her. No matter what kind of moron was thrown her way, usually the kind of jerk that would have to be dealt with diplomatically, she was still able to bounce back and retain her humour. It seemed that nothing could break her. With all the weirdoes that pay her a visit, she has to put up with a lot, the last thing she needed was dishonesty, I reasoned, especially from a friend which I consider myself to be. The only reply I could bring myself to make was an honest one. “No. It’s nothing”

“Nothing?”

“No problem” I admitted

She looked slightly stunned “Well, that’s a first. I must have taught you well.”

Her smile was still there - seemingly unforced - so if she had been affected by the argument she obviously was a good actor adept at putting on a brave face… either that or she had the memory of a goldfish. “So, the question is, why am I being honoured with a visit?”

My next reply was less honest. “You know… I just wanted to see how you were. Just happened to be in the neighbourhood so I thought I’d pop by”

“You made an appointment”

“Yeah, well… I thought I might be in the neighbourhood so I, thought I would, make an appointment… just in case. You know how it is”

“Not really” she said with a laugh that was quite clearly at my expense.

“Oh, ok” I sighed, clearly not knowing what to say. It was seemingly obvious that she didn’t want to talk about what had just happened, made certain by the fact that she was making small talk with me and not even trying to explain what just went on. It was her business, and although I didn’t want to pry, I didn’t want to seem ignorant or heartless either. Deep conversations never were my strong suit, but I sensed that it was one of those times that required one. However, starting one was even harder than maintaining one. I had already tried the “You alright?” approach which, incidentally was my best approach. Hell, it was my only approach! After seconds of silence, seconds that felt like minutes as they so often do in awkward situations, I conjured up a foolproof icebreaker:

“Well, you know if you wanna talk…” I started, already cursing myself for my own ineptitude. What kind of words are they? Then I went one step further towards making a fool of myself by thwarting my own self and adding “you probably don’t wanna talk, with me at least.” Inside I was kicking myself. Why do I open my mouth? Yet she answered.

“It’s a… whole long-winded story. It’s not as interesting as it may have sounded. I wouldn’t want to bore you” she offered

Thankful I got a reply, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind “I’m ok with being bored. I live for boredom… no wait, I live for whoredom. But it’s close enough”. It was a lame comment, but strangely I felt a bit better when she let out a little laugh at my comment. It wasn’t much, more of a snigger than a laugh, but the slightest indication that I could actually make someone feel better, make her feel better, if only for a split-second, boosted my confidence.

“Nah, it’s alright. Sorry to disappoint you by not dishing out juicy gossip”

I shrugged and consoled myself in the knowledge that even if she didn’t want to talk about it, maybe I could at least take her mind off of it. It wasn’t long before she had taken the first step in redirecting the conversation.

“Tell me about what’s been up with you though. I mean it’s been what, a good day or two since you were last in here?”

“At least”

“How’s Miss Lanche, did you find her glass eye?”

I cringed and laughed before admitting “Yeah, it had rolled under the bed

“Good work. And Miss Pugh… what did the proctologist say?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “It wasn’t pretty”

“I know. I saw the photos” she said laughing again

“You did?”

“They’re doing the rounds”

“Great.” I added sarcastically “Actually talking of uncomfortable encounters, maybe you could help me.”

“I’m listening” She generously offered

“I dunno if you’ve dealt with Maxwell Laurel before…” I started before stopping myself as her smile instantly disappeared. “You have?”

“What do you think?” she asked, seemingly quite offended

“Well, I know he’s a regular here, I just wondered if you knew him personally. I guess you do”

“You’re serious?” She asked me, observing that my statement did seem genuine. “You’ve never met him?”

“No”

“Sorry, I thought you were being… never mind.” She apologised before gesturing towards the doorway and admitting, “That was Maxwell who just left here”

I followed her gaze to the entrance as my brain computed who she was referring to and why she was just so short with me. Next came the realization that I had upset her, and I kicked myself for saying the wrong thing yet again - this time by bringing back to her mind what I had been trying to make her forget

I mumbled a quick apology and then desperately thought how I could make things better. She didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t have a time machine to take back what I had said… the only thing I could think of doing was to lighten the mood once more.

Then frankly I started, “So… have you any advice?”

“With what?” she asked, slightly lost

“… How to deal with old hothead back there? I’ll be doing his daughter in a few hours” I stated matter-of-factly hoping the phrasing of my statement would do the job.

It seemed to work when a slight smile appeared at the side of her mouth and she replied “Well, for a start, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Which bit?” I asked, playing innocent

“That you’re doing his daughter”

“He hired me” I admitted

“Yeah, but he’s a bit funny. Well not funny ha-ha more like funny homicidal maniac.”

“Funny being the politically-correct way of putting it?”

“Sure.”

We may not have been off the subject, but I felt that my diversionary tactics were working somewhat, as her mood seemed more upbeat

“Just, you know, don’t put your foot in it” she added.

“Are we still talking about me having sex with his daughter?”

“No” she replies bursting into laughter. “You can put your foot where you like in that regard”

“Even her ear?”

“I don’t know about that. How big is her hole?” I raised a cheeky smile before she quickly added “I mean her Ear hole!”

I laughed again

“You’re a bad, bad man”

“Why thank you” I said in a deeper, almost victorious, voice

“It wasn’t a comp…” she stopped as she shook her head. “What are we gonna do with you?”

“I don’t know, how long have we got?” I asked suggestively.

It seemed like she was starting to blush before she put her hands over her face and laughed into them. Then, she pretended to turn serious as she looked at her watch. “Oooh, not long enough I’m afraid.”

“Shame”

I never would normally make such a comment had it been anyone else I was talking to, but with Frankie I felt comfortable in myself, or at least as comfortable as I could imagine ever feeling. It wasn’t because I felt that I could get away with anything, but that I was confidant in the knowledge that we shared something special. Even if Frankie was to come out and say that she didn’t like me romantically, I still would have like to think that we nevertheless had a close and comfortable relationship with each other, and that nothing either of us could say would drive the other away.

After my last comment a moment of silence fell between us. I don’t know what it was; we just sat there with wide grins on both our faces until she said:

“Yeah, sorry, but I’ve got to get back to… doing whatever I do.” She shook the dazed expression that had lingered upon her face “What do I do again?”

“You… er… well… you’re a whore” I replied deadpan

“Well thank you for that” she replied sarcastically before adding “Bitch”

“And thank you for that”

“Just telling it like it is”

“Sure” I replied. What followed next was another minute of silence, this time with both of us looking around the room instead of at each other. Then slowly I stood up and walking towards the doorway mockingly concluded the conversation with “Well, I’m going to let you get back to your whoring.” Unfortunately that wasn’t all as I quickly added an “Ow” to the end of it, as an object hit me square in the back of my head. I shot a glance to the floor behind my feet where the suspicious looking sex toy that Frankie had thrown lay. Then I shot a look up at her. “I deserved that, didn’t I?”

“Yeah” she replied, nodding her head.

“Okay, fair enough” I replied defeated whilst backing out the door. Then in a last attempt to reach her on another level I added “You know… I am here if you do need to talk.”

She looked up at me seriously, which as always, led me to blunder. “I mean, not here here, but you know here in spirit… or, wherever you need me to be. “ Her look of confusion must have been nothing compared to my own confused expression. Damn tongue-twisting words. “Let’s just say, I’m available!” Now it seems like I’m coming on to her. “Emotionally… available! Well physically as well… but that’s beside the point.” She smiled at me as I went through the list of “Ways To Screw Up A Decent Conversation”. I knew I should have just shut up. After a few seconds of silence from all the blabbering I sighed and said defeated “You know, speaking… not really my strong suit”

Laughing under her breath, she shook her head and replied “No, it really isn’t”

“At least you’re not giving me any illusions otherwise.”

“Hey, you’re a good listener, that’s gotta count for something right?”

“I guess”

“It does, believe me. And I appreciate the offer.”

“Really?” I asked, not quite believing it

“I mean, I’m not gonna spill my guts to you right now if that’s what you’re expecting. I mean there will be a whole mess, intestines everywhere…”

“Nice”

“… but if that’s what floats your boat…”

“It really is”

“Maybe later… some days, weeks, months down the line.”

“I’ll look forward to it. And I’ll have a medic standing by in case you cough up, I don’t know, your small intestine”

“Smart.”

I turned again to leave, for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, knowing that each time I did it; I didn’t really want to leave. Fortunately she threw me a lifeline when she spoke again

“Thanks”

I turned back to her and asked “for what?”

“For stopping by… you know, doing the friend thing. For being here... I appreciate it”

I downplayed it and shrugged. “Erm, no problem. Feel free to stop by yourself… I mean, to my humble little abode” I looked around her room once more “I mean, it’s not as shiny as this place, but it’s er... cosy I guess”

“Sure, if I get the chance that is. We should do something together at least, we don’t often get to. I mean apart from…”

“Prazer, right” I finished her thought, referring to the little vacation we shared together a few months back

“Right. That was fun, Crazy singing cultists but, you know, fun”

“I’d like that. Definitely need more fun.” I replied before realising how odd the statement sounds coming from a male companion “Well spontaneous fun that doesn’t come with an appointment in your diary”

“Sure. I guess we’ll see what fate has in store for us” she added, smiling

That was one thing Frankie and I didn’t share – the belief in fate, destiny that sort of thing. It wasn’t so much that I refused to believe it as it was I hadn’t really given it much thought, whereas Frankie often talked about “what fate had in store” or where a person’s destiny lied. I admired her for having strong beliefs, even if I didn’t particularly buy into the notion myself. Whenever she mentioned it around me though, she would often smile, knowing that I didn’t quite believe what she was talking about.

Just then, as if right on cue at the end of our unofficial appointment, a voice called from behind me.

“Francesca?” Nemmi started, popping her head in to the room as if not wanting to intrude. “Your 10:15 is here.”

“Thanks Nemmi” Frankie replied, tilting her head to see her. It seems I was stood in the way.

“Ok, I’m actually gonna go this time” I conceded.

“Ok” Frankie replied in a tone that indicated that she was as disappointed with our separation as I. “I’ll see you later. Have good sex”

“Thanks” I said laughing “You too… I guess” For the last time, I turned my back and faced the doorway. The only difference between that time and the others was that I actually walked out of the room, following Nemmi as she walked back to her post, where a tall dark and handsome waited. The man obviously had no need for the services of a companion. Then again, for all I know, maybe he did. Or maybe he had a thing for Frankie. Either way, I couldn’t help thinking as I passed him, he is one lucky hundan!