CHAPTER 3

WEEK LATER: PLANET

"Stupid girl. Goin off on her own. Now I gotta go look for moonbrain." Jayne grumbles as he follows the footsteps. He groans when he sees a dress and boots lying on the ground. He continues walking only to come across a pond where he is startled to find River in the water. "Gorramit you crazy girl, how many times have we told you not to go off on your own like that!" He says coming into his anger quickly. "Now come on out of there and put your clothes on."

River looks at Jayne and smiles feeling his worry, discomfort and annoyance. "No" she shakes her head.

"I'm not coming to get you so get your ass out of there."

"No"

Jayne sighs knowing she is going to be stubborn about it. "River its going to take us past nightfall to get back to Serenity if you don't come out."

"You called me by name." River states

Jayne throws his hand up, "Get out of the water."

"No. I want to explore. Please?" River begs

"No now come on." He looks away as River finally gets out of the water and holds the dress out to her.

"I'm not ready to go back." River plops on the grass oblivious to her nakedness. She giggles seeing he is looking away. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Because your brother and Mal... hell the whole ruttin ship would kill me if they knew I looked at you when you was naked." Jayne says stifling a groan.

River giggles, "You've wondered before."

"Have not"

River stands walking over to him she stands before him. "I won't tell if you don't." She says mischievously.

Jayne groans, "Girl just put your dress back on." He puts his hand over his eyes.

River takes the dress then sits on the grass not bothering to put the dress on. "My brain maybe smooshed but I'm not a baby."

Jayne lowers his hand swallowing heavily when he sees she is still naked but somewhat covered. "Girl, don't make me force you to get dressed."

"You won't." River says calmly.

"Yes I would."

"No you are scared."

"I'm not scared." Jayne argues

"You don't want to lose your family Scared that if you touch me you will lose your family. You are scared that if you give into what is going on in your head... you lose your family."

Jayne stares at her knowing she means the few times he's wondered what it would be like to kiss her... feel her. What she looks like naked.

"You may treat me like I'm feng le (crazy) but you don't treat me like I'm a baby... like fragile glass." River turns her head, "Why?"

"Because you ain't. Feng le yes, but a baby? Nah. Anyone who can handle all you do... not fragile at all. You may look it... and sometimes talk it but you ain't."

River sits on the ground staring out at the water.

Jayne stifles a groan at the sight of her naked back and legs. His mind flashing over the times he has caught River watching him... or just sitting near him, 'Why?'

"Because there's no chaos." River says simply.

Jayne straightens up scowling "Last time no gettin into my head."

"Sorry. I can't help it. Yours is the only head around... other than mine. And mine has too many thoughts." She turns to look at him. "I like your brain; its simple; no chaos, always precise... except the Reavers. Only time your mind panicked."

"My brain is complicated." Jayne protests

"Think straight." River says smiling, "Zoë thinks of Wash, Captain... and survival. Wash thinks of Zoë, his dinosaurs and his flying. Captain... he worries about everything... and Inara. Inara... work... and Captain. Kaylee... the ship and everyone... especially Simon. Book... the book that lies... and souls... his past. Simon... me and what happened. Who gets hurt next... whether Kaylee likes him or not. Whether I'm going to get better." She sighs heavily as she drops to the ground. "You only think of what is going on in that minute. You don't worry about the future or good/bad… right and wrong. You think about guns... and your Ma. No chaos in the head of Jayne." She smiles "I like that, not having to listen to worries... and fears."

"That why you follow me?"

River nods

"Huh" he grunts

"You do worry though... but not constantly."

"What do I worry about?"

"What I said about touching me. You worry that I will hurt you again." She says sadly. "I won't. I didn't want to last time."

"Why did you?"

River sighs, "You were being mean to Simon... everything got jumbled up in my head."

"You're thinkin straight right now." Jayne remarks "Why?"

"Only you around. Not a bunch of worries to cloud me."

Realizing that River is calm and not going to hurt him Jayne sighs sitting beside her.

River twists at the fabric of her dress as she holds it close. "I'm not going to get fixed."

"Your brother will figure a way..."

"He won't. Too much damage to my brain and soul."

"Have you told him?"

"No... I'm all he has left. They won't let him back." River rests her chin on her knees. "You and Captain are the only ones who realize that I won't be fixed."

"Mal thinks that?"

River nods "But he wants to try anyway. Beneath his meanness and rules... he wishes I could be. He tries not to treat me like a child... but"

"You sometimes act like one." Jayne states

River shrugs "I can't think straight... I get confused."

After a few minutes of sitting there Jayne speaks, "We should get back. Your brother must be worryin."

"He'll think you lost me." River giggles "But you won't." She looks Jayne smiling at his expression. "When I get lost you always find me."

"You do have a tendency to leave a trail." Jayne says gruffly his eyes widen as she tosses the dress on the ground and straddles his legs. "River, gorram girl put your ruttin clothes on." He looks away

"Jayne."

Unable to stop himself Jayne looks at River who is staring at him, "No messin with my head." When she moves closer he swallows heavily his eyes locked on hers, "Girl you have no idea how much trouble I could get into."

"I won't tell... neither will you." River says simply. "Jayne... will you always find me?"

"No"

"Jayne, don't lie. You say no but your head says yes."

Jayne slowly lifts his hand brushing a stray curl out of her eyes. "Don't tell me what my head says." He says gruffly.

"Says you want to kiss me." River states "Is it lying? Head can't lie." Jayne closes his eyes trying to control his lust. He shivers when he feels her move closer feeling her breath on his face. He opens his eyes to see River staring at him... inspecting him. "Gorram" he growls pulling her close he kisses her.

River trails her fingers up his arms clutching at his shoulders as the kiss deepens.

Feeling her fingers dig into his shoulders Jayne breaks the kiss staring at River who meets his eyes unflinching. He lifts River off him and stands "Get dressed." He says gruffly walking away.

River sighs knowing he is angry and pulls her dress on.

Jayne sits on the rock his back to River as he thinks over what just happened. 'What was I thinkin? They'd kill me for kissin her.'

"I won't tell."

Jayne opens his eyes glaring at River "Don't do that!"

River shrugs "Don't mean too." She holds her boots out, "Knotted."

"Just put em on."

River sits before him slipping her boots on. She sits there

Seeing that River hasn't moved Jayne pulls her feet, "Let's go."

River stares at him as he pulls her along. 'Confused. Scared. Worried.' She smiles faintly, 'But he likes me. He just isn't ready to admit it.'

HOUR LATER: SERENITY

"River" Simon says relieved to see his sister even though the mercenary is pulling her along.

"Here you deal with her." Jayne releases River and stomps onto the ship.

"River you know you shouldn't wander off."

"I was bored." River says with a shrug. "I wanted to explore."

"Next time no explorin on your own like that." Mal says gruffly

"Didn't mean to go so far." River yawns. "Just got distracted." She walks away.

"Well the good thing is it looks like she wore herself out." Mal states

"Mmm" Simon nods

Jayne drops on his bunk with a groan, 'Kissed her. What was I thinkin? Besides the age difference and the sanity issue... and everyone here killin me for it.'

River drops on her bed with a smile and curls up, 'Jayne kissed me.'

Simon sticks his head into River's room and smiles seeing his sister asleep with a smile on her face. 'Well at least she had a good day.' He closes the door heading into the infirmary.

EVENING

River sits beside Simon listening to the conversations around her occasionally glancing at Jayne who is sitting across from her eating in silence.

"OW" Jayne yelps glaring at River who just grins "Don't kick me."

"You are grumpy."

"I can be grumpy. After all I had to drag your ass back here Brat."

River sticks out her tongue giggling when she hears Jayne's thought.

"River, don't kick Jayne." Simon sighs knowing the two can pick on each other and the mercenary can be mean to his sister.

"I'm in a good mood and he's grumpy. Messing with my good mood." River pouts

"Then go away."

River grabs a roll and heaves it at Jayne's head.

"Hey" Jayne protests

"Stop actin like gorram five year olds." Mal groans

"River, don't pick on Jayne." Simon sighs

"At least she's not throwing knives at you." Wash offs Jayne.

"Don't give her any ideas." Jayne glares at the pilot.

"I won't." River promises smiling sweetly at Jayne.

Despite the sweetness of her smile and the brief surge of happiness at her smile Jayne glares at her, "Don't try that on me. I'm not a sucker for the niceys."

"We know." Kaylee says dryly

Jayne scowls at the mechanic while everyone else laughs.

MIDNIGHT

Jayne looks up from cleaning Vera to find River watching him from the doorway of the mess hall. "Ain't you supposed to be in bed?" He asks gruffly.

River twists at the hem of her nightshirt shrugging. "Are you mad at me?"

"No. Just go back to bed. Got some work to do." He nods at the guns laid out on the table.

"Can I help?"

Jayne looks at her, "You stabbed me. You got me in trouble. And you shot someone with your eyes closed. Plus you ain't supposed to touch weapons."

River sighs, "Can I watch?"

"Ain't you supposed to be sleepin?"

River shrugs "Can't sleep." She settles on one of the chairs resting her head on her arms as she watches Jayne work.

"Where's doc?"

"Asleep. If I wake him he'll poke me with a needle." She scowls rubbing her arm.

"S'pose he would." Jayne muses carefully avoiding her gaze as he works.

"Jayne, do you miss home?"

"No."

"But you miss your family."

"I guess." Jayne glances at her, "Miss your folks?"

River shrugs "Fuzzy."

"Don't member them?"

"Do but don't. Can't go back."

"Why?"

"They'd send me back." She absently draws on the table, "Promise not to tell?"

"Tell what?"

River glances at the door then looks at Jayne, "Simon doesn't know."

"Know what?" Jayne asks curiously.

"They paid for me."

"Who?" Jayne asks

"Blue Hands." River shivers

Jayne stares at her, "Your ma and pa... sold you?" He says with surprise

River nods

Unable to ask more as Mal enters the mess hall Jayne turns his attention back to his weapons his mind going over her admittance.

"Hey little witch ain't you supposed to be sleepin?" Malcolm asks startled to find the two in the mess hall together.

"Too many thoughts. Can't sleep." River replies as she tilts her head.

"Well you did sleep after your adventure." Mal remarks "And you two ain't fightin?" He looks between the two.

Jayne glances at River then looks at Mal, "Long as she stays out of my head and don't touch the weapons"

Mal looks at River, "Will you?"

"No messing with Jayne's head. And no touching weapons."

"Good. Wake Doc if you have too." He walks out of the room.

"You won't have too." River says looking at Jayne.

"Keep the hands off the weapons and we be fine."

River nods watching him work, 'Gentle hands... despite their roughness. Touch was rough... yet gentle. Will I feel it again?'

Feeling River watching him Jayne studiously ignores her wanting to avoid his thoughts about the kiss and the feelings it invoked. After cleaning and reassembling Vera, Jayne glances at River who is still watching him. "What?"

River gives him a small smile

"Why ain't you told your brother?"

River shrugs "Wouldn't change the past. The past can't be changed. Once something is done... it is done."

"How do you know it happened that way?" Jayne asks "Maybe they lied."

"Head can't lie, a person can."

"Sorry."

River shrugs "She didn't like me. She was scared of my brain."

"Not like you were like this before." Jayne says

"No... smarter than Simon. She never wanted that. She thought I showed off."

"Why didn't you tell Doc?"

River yawns, "He already feels guilty. Don't want to make him feel worse."

Jayne nods continuing to work. He looks up to see River's eyes are closed. He smiles faintly then turns back to his work.

HOUR LATER

Mal walks into the mess hall to find Jayne still working... and River still there. "You two ain't killed each other yet?"

"She's asleep." Jayne shrugs "Not wakin her up. Seen how she reacts to dreams."

Mal sighs then walks over gently shaking River, "River"

River opens her eyes "Captain Daddy."

Mal smiles "Why don't you go back to bed."

"Comfy." She closes her eyes

"Your bed is more comfortable." Mal remarks

"When Jayne's done."

"Alright. But no biting, stabbing or hitting Jayne when he wakes you OK?"

River nods

"Or kickin me."

"I won't." River closes her eyes

Mal looks at Jayne "You sure you can handle this?"

Jayne shrugs "She ain't botherin me. 'sides I'm almost done."

Mal looks between the two then shakes his head walking out of the mess hall.

Jayne glances at River who smiles at him before he returns to his work. When he glances up again he sees River has fallen asleep again.

LATER

River opens her eyes to see Jayne standing beside her, "Hi"

"Hey. Come on go back to bed."

"Done?"

Jayne nods

"I'm tired."

"Then go to bed."

"Carry me"

"No"

River turns holding her arms out "Please?"

Jayne groans, "Fine but if your brother or Mal kills me it's your gorram fault." He picks her up groaning as she wraps her legs around his waist.

River smiles feeling his discomfort... and underlying desire. She wraps her arms around his neck closing her eyes, 'Smells good. Strong... rough... yet gentle.' Sensing his apprehension as they near her room River speaks, "Simon's still asleep. Hasn't woken."

Jayne nods opening the door he quietly enters the room. He walks over to the bed setting River down. "Go to sleep." He says gruffly.

"Night Jayne."

Jayne grunts walking out of the room

River crawls under the covers and falls asleep with a smile on her face.

Jayne returns to the mess hall and gathers his guns, 'Girl, ain't bad when calm.' He shakes his head returning to the mess hall.

TBC… AN: So what do you think? Any good? I’m trying to figure out voices and such and be a little more descriptive but I suck at descriptive in anything other than dialogue. If you read my other works you’ve figured that out.

Oh and for Cub... I wish I could write past tense but I can't... never been able too.