Mediocrity’s for the Birds!
Sunday, July 31, 2005

Mal get's married, only to find out, she's not who she says she is


No spoilers... this is based between the end of the show and before the movie.

Sometimes you just gotta wonder why. Why you were dealt with a mediocre life, and why did it turn out so bad? The thing that got Mal the most was, this wasn't even his doing. He was just zipping along on Serenity when he met this gal… got married to her, and then boom! And you’d think that was good, wouldn’t you? But no, even a marriage has got to be hard. Well, given the fact that he woke up to her and her compatriots trying to steal his ship. What was it about HIS ship, that made everybody want to jack it?

What the hell! And hadn’t this already happen to him once before? The whole Yo-Saf-Bridge incident, as he liked to call it, was now happening again. Only ‘her’ name was Eve. And this time… he KNEW about the marriage. This time… he actually loved her. And this is what he gets in return.

He should have listened to the crew. They knew something was up with this girl… but his instinct told him different.

It was love at first sight. That never happens to him, not Mal Reynolds… no way. But it was… and he relished in it. Things started to go good for him… and the crew. They got more business… he was thinking of even hanging up the old gun and buying a moon somewheres, once they got enough money on their latest endeavor.

A smile crept to his lips, but then SHE walked past, and he started to glare at her.

But like all good things, they’ll come to an end eventually. Most times… harsh!

She looked back at him, saw the glare, and felt so bad. She couldn’t tell him why she was doing this, or else ‘they’ would kill her. So she turned away, pretending to look out the main bridge window, trying to force back the tears.

She turned to Wash, who was sitting up at his console, also, glaring at her.

“How much longer we got?”

He wiggled in his chair, trying to reach the nav computer, pretending to strain with all his might.

“I don’t know… I can’t reach it.”

She walked up the gangway to reach the nav, saw that he was being the smartass as usual, and smacked him on the back of the head.

He winced from it, then yelled at her.

“Hey! You’re the one that’s got me tied up here… so if you want to know where we are, do it yourself!”

She walked back down towards Mal.

“We’re almost there.”

“Good! Want me to go get the girl?”

She looked at the man who was helping her. Helping… more like forcing. She had a lot of debt that she owed to a guy name Mack. Mack had ties to the Alliance, and those ties he needed to strengthen. So he thought maybe if he could get his hands on that girl the Alliance wants so badly, he could get funding on a little project for a company creating laser weaponry… which he could later SELL to the Alliance.

For that, he needed to recruit. A ‘little birdy’ told him of a certain crew that might have the information he needed, so he invited the Serenity Captain to a little, soirée. He arranged for the Captain and Eve to meet, and things went off without a hitch. Things clicked between her and Mal, and so the plan was on. Mack arranged for her to join the crew for a ‘special mission’, and so she joined up, and started her spying. She never expected to fall in love with Mal. She just wanted to get in, get the girl, and get out.

Things just kept happening, they were on the run from the Alliance… a lot. The Alliance, in the search for the brother and sister, was cracking down on a lot of the smaller ships, searching any they could catch. And the more she was with Mal, the more she fell in love with him. When he asked her to marry him… was when she knew she couldn’t go through with the plan.

She tried contacting Mack, and he gave her two options. He was going to send two of his men out to their next drop off, and she could decide… whether to do the mission, or to be killed. Of course, she chose the former. She had just hoped that Mal would understand.

“Yeah, go get her, Jack. But be careful, and get Shaw to help you.”

“She’s just a girl!”

She rolled her eyes at him, as he left the bridge. Yeah, they’d find out just how much of a girl she was, when they let their guard down.

“So you’re still going to do this?” Mal asked.

She turned to him, pain in her eyes, and seeing the pain in his eyes.

“I don’t have a choice, Mal.”

* * *

Mack boarded the Serenity, noticing how dirty it was. He traced a finger along one of the railings and looked at it.

“Don’t you keep your ship clean, Captain? I mean, you are a married man now, you could have made your wife do it.”

Eve winced as he said that, seeing that all familiar glare staring her and Mack down.

“What are you going to do with my ship and crew?”

“Quick and to the point… I like that. You and your crew are free to go, after we get the girl.”

“The girl is part of my crew!” Mal said as he looked at the man, then to River, who was smiling back at him. She WAS a weird one.

“Well then, I guess we got a problem. So… how about we just kill you all, and get it over with?”

“Wait… killing?… Mal? C’mon, let ‘em have the ruttin’ girl and be done with it!” Jayne piped in, sitting uncomfortably on the floor, hands tied behind his back.

River looked back at him, glaring.

“Bite me!”

Mal looked up, as did the other crew, to River. They all stared in disbelief at the girl, when the man named Shaw came over and grabbed her, unceremoniously plopped her over his shoulder, and started to walk towards Mack.

It was then that Mal noticed another smile on River’s face. She was looking at Eve, and he noticed something between them. Eve came back to stand behind him and Jayne, and he paid no attention to her as she leaned down to give him a kiss.

All of a sudden River pulled out a knife that was located just between her breasts, cut the ropes that binded her hands, and stabbed Shaw in the back. At the same time, Eve pulled a knife out of her boot, and cut the ropes, and handed him a gun. He gave her a look that seemed to last an eternity, and she smiled back at him. She then went to cut Jayne’s ropes.

River was already at work, she jumped off of Shaw, doing a roundhouse kick to the groin and he fell back onto the knife, killing him. She then turned her attention to Jack, as bullets flew past around her.

He was hiding behind a few cans of some sort of acid, trying to fire his weapon at Mal. He didn’t even see her coming until it was too late, and she grabbed him by the neck, twisting it hard until she heard a snap. She let go and his body fell to the ground, right beside Mack. He immediately looked up into her eyes and dropped his gun, and got down on his knees.

Jayne saw what happened and immediately rushed over to secure him, while Eve untied the rest of the crew.

Mal not seeing what happened, checked the pulse of the lifeless body laying in front of River. He looked up to see Jayne as white as a ghost.

“What?” With no answer he asked again.

“Sh… she…” Jayne tried to sputter out.

“Snapped his neck like a twig!” River chimed in. “It was fun, can we do it again…” She said, not really asking, and before Mal could even think, she walked off, hopping every few steps.

Mal looked befuddled, and looked up as the rest of the crew came to him for answers. He simply had none to give. What he did have, was a camera that he put in here a few weeks ago, when some crates went empty. He used it to find one of the crew he’d hired to do this gig, was stealing and selling stuff on the market. That would hopefully later give him some answers.

He turned to Jayne, who was still a pale pink, but holding on to Mack pretty tightly.

“Wash, let’s take off… quick like. Jayne, as soon as we hit atmo, dump him out the cargo hold, let him burn up on re-entry.”

Mack started to protest, but Jayne shut him with a quick elbow to the head. Then Kaylee started to protest, and Mal gave her a look.

“Get to the engine room and get this bird up, ok?” He told her sternly.

She gave Mal a look of disappointment, but Mal was used to it. Lately he and Kaylee have been at odds about a few things, including the Eve sitch.

Mal then gave a look to Eve, then to Zoe.

“Take her down to the hold… make sure she’s tied up nice and tight,” he told Zoe as he started to make his way up the stairs to the bridge, behind Wash.

* * *

Eve couldn’t believe it… Mal had come in, cut her ropes off, and left. She sat there for a few minutes, trying to gather her wits and follow him. She eventually got up the nerve, and started up the stairs, opened the door to the room, climbed out, and turned right around into Mal’s chest.

“Took you long enough!”

“Sorry, I was looking for a grenade to be thrown down.”

He harrumphed, “Nah, that woulda put a hole in my ship.”

She nodded back, as they started walking down the hall. She noticed the strained look on his face, wishing for anything that she could console him. But she knew now was not the time.

“You dumping me off the ship?”

He stopped mid-stride, looking at her with hurt in his eyes, and she regretted the statement.

“I just… I just thought that…”

“Thought of an easy out? You’re my wife… however little you think of me, we’re married!” he interjected.

“I just thought that you hated me… and wanted to get rid of me. I love you Mal… I just didn’t have a choice.”

“Sure you did.”

“It was either that or be killed!”

“See… you had a choice!” He told her… anger in his tone.

She shrunk back from his last statement, tears welling in her eyes. She started to turn away, to run down the hall, but he reached out and grabbed her by the arm.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Just… what you did. It hurt. I realize you had no choice, and it all worked out in the end. But I’d appreciate it if next time, you come to me first… dong ma?”

“Next time?” She couldn’t believe it… next time. “You’re letting me stay?”

“You’re my wife,” he said matter-of-factly.


“I love you. I can’t stop that. And we’re married, at least ‘till you kill me.”

She let out a giggle at that, then noticed his feigned hurt look, then tried to stop, and started laughing all the more.

“That’s funny, huh?” He picked her up into a loving embrace, holding her tight. “Way I see it… we’re two peas in a pod… you can’t split us up. Besides… I love you too much, and I’m smart enough to know that you never let a good thing go.”

“What about the rest of the crew?”

“Well… it seems River filled them in on ya’lls little plan… but forgot to tell me.”

“We needed you to be truly mad at me… or else Jack and Shaw would’ve caught on.”

“So it seems.”

“So all is forgiven?”

He looked at her, seeing her smile, melting the more he looked at her. How could he hold a grudge against her… she was the love of his life.

“Not quite… seems Wash is a little angry about a certain head slap. Says you gave him a bruise.”

“I barely touched him!”

“Still… the man says he owes you one,” he laughed as she started up the stairs to the bridge and found Wash. He heard a slap, and another ‘Ow’ resounding from Wash.

* * *

After making sure the take off was easy peasy, and talking to Eve, he walked back down to the cargo bay, and saw Jayne closing the outer doors. Jayne felt kinda bad for the man. He’d been in a similar sitch a few months prior, and well, it wasn’t pretty.

“So did he squeal like a pig?” Mal asked as he jumped down the final two steps.

“Oink, oink!” Jayne resounded, grinning from ear to ear.

“So is our ‘little birdy’ who we thought he is?


Mal nods an agreement and heads to his quarters.

* * *

Alone in his quarters he kept rewinding and playing the vid, not comprehending what he was seeing. He saw the look in River’s eyes, almost as if she enjoyed that moment… of killing. It must have been that same look that Kaylee told him about on Niska’s skyplex. A sheer determination.

He saved the file to a vid disk and erased the file from the hard drive. Jayne was still in disbelief about what happened… and started saying, to all the crew, that the man was a wuss, and “even little ol’ Kaylee could have killed him.” But if they saw this… then they’d really want to get rid of her.

But something inside of him clicked, and he really didn’t want to get rid of River. She protected this crew… and that was downright fine with him. But still he wondered… what in the ‘verse, had he gotten himself into!

He reached over and hit the comm to the bridge.


“Yes, Cap’n?”

“Set course for Persephone,” Mal replied, a little hint of anger in his tone.

Wash thought he heard wrong. Why are we going to Persephone? It’s over a month away, and…


“Just do it!” Mal said, noticing his tone and calming it down a bit. “We’ve gotta pay a little Badger a visit!”


Monday, August 1, 2005 4:15 AM


This is great. Are you going to do a second part?

Monday, August 1, 2005 7:26 AM


Okay, so are we going to find out more about Eve? I was surprised Jack was ditched right into atmo like that but then I suppose they couldn't afford to let him live. And River, pretty creepifying but neat. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me


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