Title: Secrets Author: Goldenthorn74 (goldenthorn74@yahoo.com) Featuring: Mal, Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Inara, Simon, Book and River. Category: Science Fiction / J.W strangeness (PG - I guess) Summary: Inside lay your deepest secrets. The ones you dare not mention. The ones you must now share. Disclaimer: I don't own them. ME (as in Mutant Enemy) and Fox do. Just doing this for fun. Feedback: Please!

"Inside lay your deepest secrets. The ones you dare not mention. The ones you must now share."

The aroma of spices and herbs filled the common area of Serenity. The crew had just left their last destination, where they had purchased some fresh food along with some extra protein rations. The job had been simple--find the contact, drop the cargo and make the trade. It had gone so smoothly, it left the captain longing for a little action. Back in the black, the crew gathered around the dinner table involved in a pleasant conversation--if only, for a little while...

"Jayne, could you pass me the juice?" Simon requested gesturing at the seal packed container on the table.

"Grape juice? How can you like this crap?" Jayne growled making a face when he handed it over to Simon. "Pour me some *real* juice, would ja?" He lifted his cup to Mal, who filled it with the closest thing to beer they could find in their last landing spot.

"I will have some of that." Shepherd Book extended his cup. "How long will we stay in Denia?"

"Not sure. Ask the 'Ambassador'" Mal responded looking at Inara questioningly.

"My client has requested my services for two days" she responded taking a sip of water. "I would also like to visit a friend while I'm there."

"I have never been to Denia" Kaylee smiled tapping a small metallic box she had placed on the table. "I heard it is real nice."

"What's that you have there, Kaylee?" asked Wash, his curiosity peaked at the strange object in front of the girl.

"Oh, this?" she responded picking it up with her hand. It was a cube the size of a fist, with an inscription on each of its sides. It was cold, and heavier than it looked. Kaylee was not sure of its composition, but it looked very much like silver, or maybe platinum. Despite its brilliance, it appeared to be quite old. "An old man gave it to me while we docked in Meganon. He said it would bring 'peace and clarity to its beholder'." She imitated the mystic tone of the hermit who had given her the cube as a present.

Mal exhaled audibly and dropped his chop sticks on the plate. He looked at Kaylee with a frustrated expression on his face.

"And you believed him?" he said incredulously. "What if it's a tracking device, or even a weapon? How could you be so careless!"

"Don't be mad at me" Kaylee said in a small voice.

"Mal, don't be so paranoid" Inara jumped to the young mechanic's defense.

"Stay out of this, Inara" Mal warned.

"It does have an inscription" Zoe interjected sensing the situation was about to get out of control. "What does it say?"

"I don't know. It is in a foreign language" Kaylee was squinting to better decipher the characters carved in the object.

"Let me see it" the Shepherd requested in his patented calm voice. He examined the piece for several seconds. "It is Aramaic" he finally said. Everybody looked at him with a blank expression in their faces.

"That language has been dead for millennia" Simon said frowning. "Are you sure?"

"Very sure. It says: 'Inside lay your deepest secrets. The ones you dare not mention. The ones you must now share.'" The older man rotated the cube to read each side. "It says the same thing on all six sides."

River was looking at the object intensely. She started feeling lightheaded, and her mind began to expand to another dimension. She closed her eyes to allow herself to better concentrate on the feelings bombarding her mind and body. It was an odd sensation that she had never felt before. It was an entity--old and, from what River could sense, wise. Very wise. She was not scared, in fact, she felt safer than she had in years. Slowly she came back to, the voices of the crew seeping into her mind...

"...if it really is that old, could it have come from Earth?" Wash asked scooping the last remains in his bowl.

"Shiny! From Earth!" Kaylee exclaimed excitedly.

"It is very possible" Book replied. “It is quite a remarkable object.”

River glanced at the cube once again. Its power could be easily felt by the teenager. She cocked her head and tried to listen to it. She could hear it whispering to her. She did not understand what it was saying, but it sounded like a soft song carried in the air--an ancient melody whispering secrets. She could see it glowing. A blue light was enveloping it like a bubble. The glow intensified and the room became quiet. River looked around and realized that the others could see it as well. They were looking at the enchanting light with enthrallment, not quite believing what they were seeing. The object had a singular beauty that was hypnotizing.

"Glowing. Like a firefly" River smiled.

The power in Serenity went out all of a sudden. Both doors to the common area slid shut with a slam activating the locks automatically. The glow of the cube was now illuminating the entire room, becoming brighter and brighter until the energy emanating from it began elevating the object itself. Once it was about a foot above the table, it started spinning in the air, slowly at first, and then becoming faster and faster until it turned into pure energy. Then, in a fraction of a second it dropped back to the table with a thump. The glow was now faint, almost imperceptible.

No one said a word for a long while. They were all dumbfounded, looking at the object as if it were alive and waiting for it to jump out of the table at any moment.

"What t’hell just happened here?" It was finally Mal who broke the silence. He was already looking around trying to assess the situation. He walked to one of the doors and tried to deactivate the locks. "No power" he said flatly. Jayne had walked over to the other door to try his luck. No dice.

"Are we locked in?" Inara asked worriedly. She wrapped her shawl around her shoulders feeling a chill running down her spine. Her eyes were trained on the cube as she spoke.

"It appears so" Mal replied. "Kaylee, can you work on the electrical systems from here?"

"The breakers are in the cargo area" the girl responded. "And even if I could get to ‘em, we seem to be dead in the water. I’d have to work on the engine first. At least the emergency lightin’ is workin’, which means auxiliary life support is on."

"This... device" Mal stated picking up the cube. "Is it what caused the failure?"

"Are you kiddin' me? That puny thing?" Jayne was trying to pry the door open as he talked.

"It seems to have incredible power" Mal continued. "An electromagnetic field of some sort. Powerful enough that it affected Serenity's electrical systems.” He was re-entering the code into the control panel hoping the ship would recognize the command. After a couple of tries he desisted. “Any theories?"

"I have never seen anything like it" the Shepherd admitted. "Could it be a prototype of some sort?"

"What about the inscription on its sides?" Wash reminded them. "Do you think they used that as some sort of encoding?"

"The only way we could know for sure would be to open it up to see what's inside" Kaylee offered feeling a little bit responsible for what had just happened. "I don't know how..."

"What if it belongs to the Alliance” the doctor cut her off suddenly panicking. “They could be using it to track River. What if someone tipped them off! The incident in Ariel... they got so close!" he looked directly at Jayne, making the mercenary feel very uncomfortable. "I don't want River to go through that again."

Jayne misread the doctor's intensive stare and turned to Mal accusingly.

"You told them?” Jayne glanced over the room at Mal.

“Jayne…” Mal began to say.

“I said I was sorry! I thought we were gonna keep it a secret!" He felt betrayed as he stared at Mal with pained eyes.

"What is he talking about?" Simon turned around to face Mal confused. Mal glanced at the doctor and then at Jayne.

"I did keep it a secret" he deadpanned answering Jayne's question. "You seem eager to share the story, though."

"Did we miss something here?" Wash's eyes were darting from one side of the room to another. He turned to his wife frowning in bewilderment and she just shrugged.

"Oh God!" The doctor went livid, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. "I cannot believe you would... We trusted you!" he spat holding back the anger threatening to consume him. "And you" he turned to Mal again. "You knew? You.. you knew and did not tell us about this?" Mal was about to answer him when Wash yelled:

"Look!" Everyone turned their attention back to the cube. It started moving again, this time opening one of its top flaps slowly. They all became very still waiting for it to move again. Nothing. The cube was now partially open, but gave nothing away of its content. They would have to open it completely in order to find out what was inside.

"How did that happen?" Zoe broke the silence this time.

"It began to move when the argument started" Inara pointed out. "What if it responds to sound waves?"

"We could all start singing" Wash suggested.

"I don't think so, dear" Zoe replied patting her husband on the back.

"Maybe it senses anger. Negative energy. Our brainwaves might be the ones controlling it" Shepherd Book offered.

"Yeah, I guess Jayne wasn't helping the doc much. His brainwaves are short range" Wash teased holding back laughter and looking at the bigger man standing by the door.

"One day you're gonna wake up with that tongue of yours slit in half, little man" Jayne stepped forward to intimidate the pilot.

"Secrets." River spoke for the first time. She was looking at the metal object with curiosity. They all looked at her wondering what had prompted her to speak. Very quietly, she continued. "Inside lay your deepest secrets. The ones you dare not mention. The ones you must now share." The words sounded even more puzzling coming out of her mouth.

"I think I know where she is going with this" Mal stated after a pause. "The cube only started moving after Simon found out about Jayne's *secret*. The inscription also suggests secrets have something to do with it." Mal could hardly believe where he was going with this. He had never been one to fall for magic or the metaphysical.

"So... we just go around the table telling each other our deepest secrets?" Inara questioned not really convinced.

"That's insane!" Jayne retorted.

"You got a better idea?" Mal asked leaning his back against the counter and folding his arms over his chest.

No one said anything. They were all exchanging glances expecting someone to come up with a more conventional plan. After several minutes of silence, Mal finally said:

"Ok. Who’d like to go first?"

"Hey! I already got my turn. You can count me outta the plan from this point on" Jayne protested.

"I'll go" Kaylee volunteered looking at the object in front of her that had caused all the trouble.

"Kaylee, you sure you wanna go first?" Mal asked her. She nodded taking in a deep breath.

"I was in the infirmary the other day" she started speaking. "I went to get some headache pills. I wanted to ask you for’em but you was with River" she looked over at the doctor. "Anyways, your diary was layin' open on top of the counter and I read some of it." She could feel her cheeks burning with shame. "I'm sorry, Simon. I know I shouldn't have. I just couldn't resist." She could not look at him or anybody else on the table by that matter.

"What exactly did you read?" Simon asked feeling a little violated by her intrusion.

"It was mostly all about River's progress" she answered. "And then I read your feelings towards some of the crew" she continued in a small voice. She stared up at him and he held her gaze. She could detect betrayal in his eyes.

"How did you get into the infirmary? I lock it every time I leave ever since Jayne wrecked it last time."

"I can over-ride the individual locks through the main computer" she confessed.

"Well. Do all your secrets involve *me* in one way or another?" he inquired throwing his arms in the air.

The cube started moving again at that point. Another flap was released slowly. Two flaps were now opened, making the object appear as if it had two wings. The interior still remained a secret of its own.

"It's working!" Jayne exclaimed approaching the table to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "I'll be damned!"

Again, they all became quiet. Realization started dawning on them one by one. If they were going to make it out of that room any time soon, they were going to have to share their deepest secrets. That is what the box was asking from them. That was the only way out. They waited a while for someone to volunteer to go next.

Inara had been pondering about the significance of sharing her deepest secret with the crew. She despised the idea of exposing herself in such a way, especially to the captain. She was a big girl, how dared he judge her all the time? If he only knew how much his comments hurt—why did she care so much about what he thought anyway? Simon was about to offer when Inara started speaking.

"I hate my job" she said simply. Everyone turned their heads towards her in surprise when she started speaking. She took in a deep breath and continued. "Sure, it sounds glamorous and exciting--other women even look up to me." She was looking at a point on the table straight in front of her, but she seemed miles away. Her eyes began to water and, for the first time since she had boarded Serenity, the crew could feel a profound sadness emanating from her words. "Do you know what it is like to go from place to place, not knowing who your body is going to be used by next?” her voice was shaking slightly. “Knowing that the people you are there to service see you only as a mere object--something to quench their needs and then move on." A single tear was running down her face, yet her expression did not change. "Do you know how hard it is to repress your own feelings and urges to be able to continue doing your job? Do you have any idea how many nights I have cried myself to sleep trying to convince myself that my youth is not being wasted on misfits and perverts?" She was speaking to herself now, not even aware of the audience who was listening to her attentively. "I want to know what it is to love and be loved. It sounds so simple" she chuckled in between her tears. "If I am not a companion, then I am nobody.” She turned serious again. “If I stop doing my job, then I will lose my identity. I was raised to be what I am today. I cannot quit." She was now openly crying. "I cannot quit" she whispered again.

"Inara..." Mal stepped up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Not now, Mal. Please" she pleaded as she dried her tears with a tissue. She was afraid the slightest touch from him would send her over the edge. Mal stepped back respecting her request. Kaylee got up from her chair and went around the table to embrace the companion, who allowed the young girl to console her. Inara was trying her best to hold back her tears, sensing everyone's stare on her.

The third flap started opening as the cube moved once more. No one was ready to talk yet. They had all been surprised and shaken by Inara's confession and the mood was grave throughout the room. They sat in silence for a long while, knowing the process was not going to get any easier.

"During my third year of med school I had this crush on one of my professors" Simon started speaking out of the blue after what it felt like an eternity. He had quietly been gathering strength to share his secret with the rest of them.

"Wow, Doctor. That is one deep, juicy secret" Jayne interjected sarcastically.

"Shut up, Jayne" Mal warned with a stern look. Simon ignored him and continued.

"I was in the lab late one night, studying for a midterm when my professor walked in and we started talking. We were alone and I started flirting. The funny thing is that I didn't even realize I was doing it" he said reminiscing of the past. "At any rate, before I knew what had hit me, we were kissing. It felt wrong and dangerous, but I didn't care. I knew my father would get a fit if he ever found out, which made it all the more exciting. No one had ever kissed me like that before." Simon sighed and closed his eyes before continuing. He needed a minute to collect his thoughts.

"So, you made out with your college professor. Big ruttin' deal. How old was she anyway?” Jayne jumped in.

"That's just it. My professor wasn't a *she*" Simon finished. Nobody really knew what to say.

"Don't get me wrong. I am *not* gay" the doctor felt the need to clarify that point.

"You coulda fooled me!" Jayne retorted with a smile.

"Jayne!" Mal, Zoe and Kaylee shouted at the same time.

"It was my rebellious stage, I guess" Simon replied. "I don't necessarily regret it, Jayne. I just never thought I would be sharing this around the dinner table."

Less than a minute later, the fourth flap had opened. The cube was slowly opening up in front of their eyes. Four down, five more to go...

"I don't know about you, but I need a drink" Book said getting up from his chair and retrieving some brandy from one of the cupboards.

"Fill me up" Simon said handing his cup to the older man. The rest raised their respective cups to the shepherd who filled them generously. Wash took a sip and closed his eyes trying to swallow not being used the bitter liquid. He decided to go next.

"Ok. I guess it is my turn" he cleared his throat and sighed in anticipation. "I know this is going to be hard for you guys to believe, but I..." he paused before saying: "I take my plastic dinosaurs to the bathtub with me. There, I said it." They all turned to look at the cube waiting for it to react to Wash's recent confession. A minute went by. Then two. Three. Nothing.

"If that is your deepest and darkest secret, I think we're in trouble" Mal told him with a smirk. Wash looked at him and inhaled deeply breaking eye contact.

"No, Mal. That would not be my deepest and darkest secret. I thought I might give it a try to see if... well.” His expression turned dark and serious. He started fidgeting with the cup of brandy in front of him, taking a gulp from it and allowing it to slide down his throat. He made a face at the burning sensation down his digestive track, and then continued.

"We were being held by Niska" he started. "Remember our little pissing contest that time?" he chuckled trying to relieve the tension. "We were being poked and probed and electrocuted and..." he shook his head at the awful memories. "Then Zoe came with the ransom--she looked just like an angel in the night. Niska told her the money she'd brought would only be enough to release one of us." He was staring down at his cup as he continued. "I was tired and scared... and I just remember thinking 'please God, let her choose me.'" His voice broke as he was saying his last words and he covered his face with his hands. He was trying to keep his sobs to a minimum. "I am sorry, Mal. I am so sorry! You kept my sanity that day. You kept me from breaking and I... I am really sorry!" he rested his forehead on the palm of his hand and closed his eyes--he didn't want to deal with anybody right now, not even Zoe.

"Wash, is ok" Mal reassured him in a calm voice. Wash didn't answer--didn't move.

True to its nature, one of the pieces of the cube moved to allow the inner structure to shift. A couple of more moves, and it would be the cube's turn to relay its secrets.

Wash remained quiet in the same position for some time, and then took another sip of brandy. They were all lost in their thoughts for a while, staring at the cups in front of them, the ceiling, the floor... whatever inanimate object they could find to avoid eye contact.

"One of you has to go next" Kaylee stated voicing what the rest of them were thinking. She glanced over at Mal, Zoe and Book. Mal and Zoe exchanged glances briefly, communicating without words that they might as well be the next ones to confess. The captain nodded at her giving her permission to speak, estimating that she probably would want to handle this one herself.

"As you all know by now, Mal and I fought together in The War" she began voice calm. "After the battle of Serenity we realized that there was nothing waiting for us out there. We had lost our homes, our families, and even our futures." She paused for a second and looked at her husband. Wash was staring at her, intrigued by her secret. He was sure he knew everything there was to know about Zoe, whatever her secret was, he was convinced he knew about it already.

"A week after the war ended, once we had been released from the military hospital, we met again in a little town near the valley of Serenity. The truth is we didn't have anywhere else to go. We rented a room, had a *real* dinner--which we hadn't had in years--and talked about our plans for the future. Before the night was over..." she stopped unable to get the next words out.

"We slept together" Mal finished the sentence for her. He didn't want to be so blunt, but hated beating around the bush when it came to these things. The rest of the crew stared at them in shock. None of them would have ever guessed given the mutual respect and camaraderie the two of them shared. Sex would have destroyed those qualities for sure.

"What did you just say?" Wash asked in a dangerously low voice.

"It was a long time ago" his wife said defensively.

"How could you not tell me about this?" His voice was loud—his hurt resonated against the walls of the dining room.

"Wash, settle down" Mal interjected.

"You bastard!" Wash spat standing up to confront Mal. "You lead me to believe that you and Zoe had never..." he flinched at the thought of completing that sentence. His rage got the better of him and in an act of desperation he swung his arm trying to punch Mal across the face. The captain had good reflexes and backed from the swing right on time. He grabbed Wash's arm and twisted it behind his back, holding the smaller man with his free hand until he could no longer move.

"You're gonna sit down and you're gonna relax, dong-ma?" Mal said through clenched teeth to Wash's ear. When he felt the pilot relaxing, he let go of his death grip.

Wash pushed himself away from the captain throwing him a disgusted look before sitting back down on the chair. Zoe placed her hand on his forearm in an attempt to let him know that everything was going to be ok--he jerked his arm away from her. All his previous anguish had been replaced by rage after the recent revelation.

During the commotion everyone failed to notice that another piece of the cubic puzzle had shifted out of the way, opening the mysterious box yet another notch. Still there were two people aboard Serenity who had not shared their secrets with the rest. The cube waited patiently for the inevitable.

Shepherd Book started to laugh. It sounded like a low rumble coming from his throat at first, and then turned into a full fledged laugh. He had his fingers around the cup in front of him, and was looking at it as if it had just told him the funniest joke he had ever heard.

"Mind tellin' us what is it you find so amusin', preacher?" Mal spoke in a serious tone. He really was not in the mood for one of the old man's sermons.

"Where do I start?" Book said, his laughter subsiding. "For starters, I must tell you that I am *not* a shepherd, so you can drop the title and start calling me Book from now on." They were silently staring at him not quite knowing what to make of his statement. Mal was frowning, not really surprised, but intrigued nevertheless as to where his story was going.

"Is that even your real name?" Mal asked sitting back down without taking his eyes off Book.

"One secret at a time, young man" the old man smiled speaking in a low tone. "I am what they call a 'Guardian Angel'" he continued glancing around the table and expecting somebody to make sense of what he had just said. Nobody spoke or even moved. "We are a body within the government especially trained to protect high profile individuals--to ensure their safety."

"You work for the Alliance?" Simon's heart started racing and he became very nervous. He stood up and started pacing, his mind reeling with potential problems that might arise from this recent discovery.

"Relax, boy. I am on your side" Book said calmly. "I am here to protect your sister."

"You work for the Alliance! The very same people who mercilessly tortured my sister and cut open her brain without any regard for her life! How exactly are you on my side!"

"I must say, preach... Book" Mal corrected himself. "We got no reason to trust you. You have been playin' us all along." Simon gave Mal a small smile--or the closest thing to it he could muster--wordlessly thanking him for his support. For the first time, he felt that the captain and his crew were on his side--Jayne's little disaster mission not withstanding. He would deal with his feelings of distrust towards the mercenary at a later time.

"I am part of an elite group trained by the Secret Service. There is just a handful of us. The Alliance knows I am not a shepherd, but most of the agencies in our government are not aware of the 'Guardian Angel' operation; most likely they know me just as a high ranking officer."

"That's why the Magellan rushed to your aid when they scanned your identity card" Mal stated as he realized the weight of what the other man was saying.

"They probably didn't even know I am Secret Service" Book replied.

"So, you are trying to keep my sister safe from the Alliance?" Simon inquired. "That doesn't make sense."

"Your sister showed certain abilities that the other test subjects failed to develop. She became more valuable to us than any of the others. Those fools at the Department of Defense wouldn't know a miracle if it bit them in the ass."

"Ahhh, talkin' like a preacher again" Mal quipped sardonically. "So what you're sayin' is that the left hand don't know what the right hand's doin'"

"Precisely."

"What are your plans for my sister?" Simon asked flatly.

"I am to protect her from those who want her back at the lab, for now. Until we can figure out what is the best way to proceed with her... talents."

"Doesn't the Secret Service have any authority over the Department of Defense?" Zoe joined the conversation. "You said it yourself: you are an elite group within the government."

"It is not that simple. There are many conflicting interests between the different agencies. Things we cannot just agree upon--things that require immediate action." Book smiled once again. "You really thought I work out every day just for fun? Or that I learned to shoot back at the monastery?" He downed the rest of the coppery liquid before saying: "I don't know anything beyond what I have just told you of what's in store for the girl. All I know is that in the months I've been here, you all have become like family to me. That is the truth." His voice sounded sincere.

Silence reigned again. There had been some pretty strange and juicy secrets shared around the dinner table that night, but the last one took the cake, no doubt. The cube was now shifting one of its last inner pieces out of the way. Nobody was concerned about the oddity of it anymore. They were all trying to digest the overload of information that had been shared up to that point. How long had it been since they had sat down at the table that night? A couple of hours, four hours, a day? None of it mattered anymore. Life as they knew it had positively and completely changed and their relationships would never be the same.

"It was chanting a beautiful melody" River spoke; a smile was forming on her lips. "I could hear it."

They all looked at her, having forgotten the young girl was also sitting at the table. They were suddenly curious about what she had to say. What secret could she possibly have that had not been shattered into a million pieces during the time they experimented on her? Simon walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. 'I'm here' his gesture indicated. River closed her eyes and swayed her body from side to side in a gentle motion as if she were dancing to a distant melody.

"I knew all your secrets. The song told me about them." She opened her eyes and looked at the mysterious cube with wonder, stretching her right arm to touch it lightly. "I know your secret too" she directed her comment to the box. "I know what lies inside you. I know why they sent you to us. We needed you. Now you have helped us." Everybody was staring at her--confusion clouding all of their faces.

The box opened completely releasing a blast of light so bright it blinded them. The room radiated with energy that could be heard, touched, felt in the very core of their souls. It was overwhelming. All their senses where being overloaded, paralyzing them completely. The room started spinning, then expanding. It felt as if they were standing at the very center of the Universe, their individual energies merging together into one. And then, it all went black.

**************************************************

"Jayne, could you pass me the juice?" Simon requested gesturing at the seal packed container on the table.

"Grape juice? How can you like this crap?" Jayne growled making a face when he handed it over to Simon. "Pour me some *real* juice, would ja?" Simon looked strangely at Jayne.

"Wow!" he said. "I just had the strongest feeling of 'deja vu' I've ever had."

Simon looked at Jayne, who wasn't really sure what the young doctor meant. Mal looked at Zoe who in turn glanced over at Wash. Inara and Kaylee exchanged glances and the shepherd directed his attention to River. River was smiling, her eyes on a small metallic object Kaylee had brought to the table. Something felt different that night. For some reason they felt closer to each other--as if the emotional walls that separated them had broken down.

The End.