Bullets n' Prayers - Part 2
Monday, November 1, 2010

Part 2 of “Bullets n’ Prayers” follows below. Went with my spouse to the Texas Renesants Festival yesterday (10-31) and had a great time. Wore my “ Browncoat-Aim to Misbehave” shirt to show my loyalty to the browncoat cause and support Firefly and Joss… was fun, and heard plenty of music that reminder me of the music from the series. Hope everyone’s Halloween went well….BPZ, out.


Bullets n’ Prayers

Part -2 Disappeared:

********************************************************************************* The Setup,

Samuel J. Cobb ( aka Jayne Cobb) has just returned to “ The Temple on the Mound” church of worship in the township of Marshal, on the planet of Greenleaf. His part of a plan, conceived by Mal, was to lure the townsfolk into a sense of community and trust. Now that they have a holy man in their vicinity who can save their souls they have become overwhelmingly hospitable.

Ironic wasn’t it, that Jayne has become a savior……if only for a short time, and was being looked upon as a portal to the Most Divine? It brought back deja vu of the time he spent with the mudders.

Jayne usually would find a situation such as this hil-larry-ous, if he weren’t involved himself. But being the Go-To man, while having it’s perks, also has it’s responsibilities. Those he weren’t so happy with.

Although he doesn’t mind being a low-down dirty deceiver, Jayne does have a moral code. He doesn’t like deceiving the unfortunate….or the people he deems as being less fortunate than himself.

All that aside, he does have a job to do, and Mal, being less trusting of Jayne when it comes to the finer-details of his plans, has not included the big mercenary in on everything.

All Jayne knows is that he’s supposed to be a preacher, which will help in the final outcome to Malcolm Reynolds plan…….we’ll see if things go smooth?

Part -2 Disappeared:


Jayne Cobb, or Samuel J. Cobb as he was known in the Township of Marshal, was making a list of items he might need for his stay here as the reverend of Marshal county.

“ Eggs, milk……although I’d prefer mudders milk,” He thought, “ though, regular milk will suffices as needed to continue my façade as Reverend Cobb until the job‘s over……..” The big merc said aloud, then continued….

“ Steak, potatoes, and……” Jayne looked around the living quarters of the church, “ Women!”

Of course he couldn’t add “ women” to the order of items he wanted Gabe to bring back to this house of worship! ( although there was a companion house at the southwest side of town Jayne had thought of visiting…..that was before Mal had turned him into a preacher).

This was one of the points Jayne had argued with the captain about when Mal had suggested that he put on one of Shepherd Books clergy suits and pose as a preacher, while back on Serenity.

“ Mal you know I’d never be able to fool people such as being a holy man! Be hard to explain why a preacher is visiting a brothel six times a day don’t ya think? Why even ask me?” He had told the captain.

“ The only reason I’m wanting you to do this Jayne is because we left the Shepherd back on St. Albans to perform memorial services for our dearly departed from the “Unification War”. There are several families that have requested the preacher say words over their departed sons and daughters that were KIA( killed in action) during the war. His services will be needed for near two weeks and this was before I got the wave from Badger telling us about this new job offer.” Mal told him. He paused a second….

“ Six times a day?” ________________________________________________________________________________

Mal had been informed by Badger that there was someone he wanted disappeared. That someone was named Maxwell Vogg, the person Badger had learned was a spy in his organization.

“ I can’t have an informant in my operation!” Badger had told the captain. “ Get rid of him and there’ll be a substantial bonus to your check come your return to Persephone.” Badger concluded.

Badger gave Mal the name of the planet and town where Vogg’s last whereabouts had been known. __________________________________________________________________________________

Back on Serenity----

“You know that you’re the only one that comes close to being able to wear any of the preacher’s cloths….so, why are you making such a big deal outta this?” Mal asked the big mercenary

“ What about Simon?” Jayne quizzed.

“ What about him?” Mal responded.

“ He looks more like a preacher than I do, why not him?”

“ He’s not the Shepherd’s size and besides, I got other plans for the doc.” Mal had said.

So it had been decided. Jayne would pose as a preacher, and do his part in Mal’s plan to infiltrate the village of Marshal township.

The big merc was doing it, but he didn’t like it.


Back at the church----

In a couple of hours, after the general store manager’s stock boy had returned with Jayne’s supplies….he was putting the things away when there came a knock on his apartment door. Jayne’s hand automatically went to his hidden weapon beneath his vest, but then he realized that it was likely another one of the town residents bringing him a home-cooked meal.

This was one of the perks the big mercenary was enjoying. If he remained a preacher much longer they’d have to rename his song from “The Man They Call Jayne” to the “Mountain They Call Jayne” he chuckled.

He opened the door and there stood in front of him a fellow more or less dressed as Simon Tam would be. Fancy fittin duds and hair all dolled up as if he were headed to a Ares whorehouse.

“Hello Reverend Cobb…..let me introduce myself, I’m Maxwell Vogg.” The man extended his hand to the preacher. Jayne shook it.

“ Yes….my young man, what can I do for thee?” Jayne hated talking this way but he did it to help in his disguise.

“Well preacher….” The young fellow began again, then extended his arm out to the side……In a split second a tiny hand entered and interlocked within his own, then a young maiden also entered into the doorway.

“…..This is Sky Watson sir, my fiancée…..and in two days we wish to be married. We‘ll like you to do the honors.”

Jayne’s eyes nearly fell out of his head.


“ Don’t think I can go through with it Mal!” Reverend Samuel J. Cobb was telling the captain over a cortex wave to Serenity.

“ Sure you can. Just say the words and do the deed. Eazy as raisin pie!”

“…..Or stealing raisin whiskey?” Jayne said sarcastically, “I screw this up and they’ll be RAISIN cane!” He continued, “ And it wouldn’t be legal. The marriage license wouldn’t be worth the stock it was written on.”

“ So! It’s just a piece of paper.” Mal said.

“ It ain’t just a piece of paper. It’s a matter of devotion……just as you are to Serenity!” Jayne knew this would anger the captain and he was right. He also felt he was expressing himself more and more as a preacher every minute played the part, which he didn’t want. He wanted to get back to the old Jayne.

Mal Reynolds was as hot as a branding iron over Jayne’s words. But the big merc was right! Mal knew it. He planned to go down with his ship come the day. He was just hoping that “the day” was a long time off.

Anyway, Jayne was right. But it didn’t change a single iota of Mal’s plan. Fact was Vogg and the captain had been planning this together. Badger had told Malcolm to “Disappear Vogg”, and that’s exactly what he planned to do. They were still working out some of the finer details, which meant somehow getting Vogg off planet. Having a wife to smuggle off-world too added to it’s complications, and doing it so that Badger and Vogg’s Alliance affiliates would be less likely to track him would make it even harder.

Still, in two days, as it stood, Samuel J. Cobb would be performing a marriage ceremony.

“ Just make the same speech you did back in Canton Jayne, only with the appropriate changes, well….you know what I mean!” The captain said.

Mal had been impressed with the straight forward, yet simple public display Jayne had made to the mudders back on Higgin‘s Moon. He felt that if Jayne could mesmerize 150 mudders, then it wouldn’t take much of a stretch to con 57 celebrating, drunken wedding guests.

Jayne wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t good with words,…..his thoughts. Anyway, it had already been decided. Mal had pretty well placed the responsibility on him ,that he would be the grand instrument in joining two innocent souls in the state of matrimony. He looked up at the church ceiling….

“ Lord help me through this.” He requested…..” Gorram, I sounding more like Shepherd Book every day!”

End Part 2


Monday, November 1, 2010 3:02 AM


Last line was quite awesome and Jayne speaking to God... very interesting. His reaction to having to marry the couple is just on point for him. I am really liking this tale, BPZ!!

Monday, November 1, 2010 3:41 AM


Good Monday morning to ya Angelle! Hope you and the family had a great Halloween weekend.

I had a really good time as can be witnessed by the mangling of the word “Renaissance” in my pre-story notes up above. My heads still paying the price…

Anyhoo, glad that your staying with me for the “Bullets n’ Prayers” ride. Jayne, although I don’t think would make a good preacher, does have a good heart. Adam Baldwin played the role to perfection!

Looking for more “ Bouncing Ball” from you & Jane0904.….? Hope for more adventures soon!

Thanks for post’n up….see ya, BPZ

Monday, November 1, 2010 1:16 PM


I did laugh at Jayne getting worried that every day he is getting more like Shepherd Book. I can see the cloth rubbing off on him and can't wait to see how he handles the wedding. Amused too that Vogg and Mal have planned an alternative way of making him disappear to the one Badger no doubt has in mind. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"


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