Tucker & Dale vs The Mars Girlz act5
Friday, September 3, 2010

The story of Peter Owen and his difficulty and problems with the production of making his movie continue. Dale and Tucker have their own things to deal with…….and the film is become a BDM (Big Damn Mess)…..anyhow, maybe Peter should stop trying to make a film about ET and just turn it into a horror movie…….BP


Tucker & Dale vs. The Mars Girlz 5 ( Legends, Mysteries & Cures )

Cast of players:

Tucker Trenton- Alan Tudyk Dale Dobson-Tyler Labine Dr.Rita Scales- Christina Hendricks Renée Summers (alien actress1)- Kim Kardashian Peter Owen ( Writer/Director/Producer of Aliens aren’t Serene)- Ben Stiller Zoë Beckett (alien actress2)- Paris Hilton Claudia Jewel (alien actress3)- Allison Scagliotti Percy Thibodeaux- Nick Nolte Marshal Tucker- Jupiter auto mechanic Gable Tucker- Marshal’s son Victor Reynolds- Nathan Fillion Bryan Scully-Props guys & set director



Peter Owen, with the remainder of his cast and production crew spent the rest of the day looking for Zoë and Renée out at film location #2. They found Renée’s car but there was no sight of either actress. He’d already lost a half days filming, and he, not for one minute believed old man Thibodeaux’s story about a swamp ghost having kidnapped the actresses.

Of course, the one thing the old man had been right about was alerting the police. That would certainly bring the picture to an end. Maybe it was just Zoë pulling some her crap, but he didn’t think she could talk Renée into agreeing with this foolishness. At dusk he called an end to the search. He told everyone he felt confident that the actresses would show up the next day ready for work. He bid them all a goodnight and left for his motel room. He’d have some of the crew investigate things further the following day.

Back at the motel Peter asked that Claudia find Percy Thibodeaux and have him come to his motel room. In fifteen minutes there came a knock at his open door.

“Come on in Mr. Thibodeaux,” Peter told the old Cajun. The old man entered slowly not knowing what to expect.

“ There’s nothing here to be cautious about. I just want to talk to you.” Owen said. “ Claudia will you get Percy and myself a beer please?”

The actress left and headed to the local mom & pop store.

“ So…..Percy….let’s say that somewhat of your story is true. What would the “ Ghost of Groome Lake” want in order to free his captors…….I mean Zoë and Renée, from this evil grasp he’s got them in?

Without hesitation Percy spoke….

“ Three cases of liquor!”

“ Liquor?!! Three case…..”

“ Not just any liquor. Three cases of “Old Groome” Whiskey. It’s distilled with some of the waters of the lake! For some reason the essence of the Groome Lake bride still lingers within it’s water molecules and when poured back in the waters of the lake the ghost becomes confused and releases any captive he has within his restraints. As long as a bottle of whiskey a day is emptied into the lake the ghost will spend his time hunting the location of it‘s origin.”

Peter nearly fell off his bed. Either this guy was a master con man or he was an expert story teller…..maybe both.

“So, if he lets the women go after one bottle is pored into the lake why is there a need for three cases?”

“ There are 31 days this month Mr. Owen. I’m obliged to keep the women in this town safe. Whether visitor or resident. To make sure that the spirit of the lake stays on the hunt for his illusive bride and not hunt down another victim, one bottle of the cure will need to be distributed into the waters a day.

The man did have an answer for everything.

“ SO! If I purchase three cases of Old Groome whiskey and dump one into the waters of the lake each day while the film is in progression the spirit of the lake will remain at rest?” Owen questioned.

“ No! I have to do it.” Thibodeaux said. “ There is an incantation that has to be spoken during the process. Like an old Indian ritual… understand? …and I‘m the only one who knows it”

“This guy is good!” Peter thought.

“ So, I purchase the liquor, give it to you. You pour it in the lake and the girls are set free?”

“ Bingo.” Thibodeaux muttered.

At that time Claudia arrived with the beers. She gave one to Peter and to old man Percy.

“ Have we reached a solution?” she questioned.

“ Bingo!” Peter said.


The next day Peter began filming a part of the movie inside an old general store in his new, fabricated town of Jupiter2. Claudia Jewel was in the scene and had fallen victim to alien abduction. She was laid out on a table waiting for alien experimentation. The film shooting would run through the morning and finish around mid-afternoon.

Owen had also gotten Victor Reynolds to send one of his assistants over to Rosedale to purchase three cases of Old Groome Whiskey so that Percy Thibodeaux could perform his ghost chant ritual in order to appease the haunting specter. Not that he believed anything the old coot was saying, but he did know that Percy had influence in the bayou community. He was like a witch doctor when it came to these parts of Louisiana. If Peter didn’t remain on good terms with the town elder, the whole town might rebel. Owen didn’t want that.

Also, he had, had one of his production people do a little research on the history of Groome Lake. There was evidence found that what the old man was saying was true, at least some of it. There had been an automobile accident on the bridge in the 1930s which had resulted in a death, and there was a suicide on the bridge a year later. Much of the details were sketchy though, and beyond proving Percy right or wrong. Peter decided to concentrate on doing his movie. Once Victor Reynolds’ associate arrived with the cases of whiskey then the whole film crew would find out if the old Jupiter resident was full of spoiled crawfish.

The filming that day was going well. The two small children from the swamp town of Jupiter had been hired to play a couple of space aliens. With foam rubber heads and gray body suit’s they were wearing the little people did resemble small creatures from space.

Owen noticed some prop people mounting a fire hydrant on the sidewalk in front of a building that was to be Jupiter City Hall. The placement of the hydrant was fine, but the color was way off.

“ Yellow!!? When were fire hydrants ever painted yellow? Get some red paint and cover that up!” He told the props crew.

Peter Owen went back to see how the filming was coming along in the general store.


That morning Dale Dobson had come to realize something he hadn’t considered before.

“ If the aliens knew where they had abducted Tucker, then it was a sure bet they might search the same area for him and their aliens friends.” He decided to move his camp. As a precaution he’d placed thick sunglasses on each of his captives and covered the lenses with mud so that they couldn’t see where they were being taken.

Satisfied with his new hiding spot, he again got the urge to investigate what was going on at “Alien Central”. He felt sure if he used the same route he’d taken the day before they would see him coming. He chose to take an alternate route.

He packed some supplies and using his boat he would head east and dock his craft under the Breaux Bridge causeway. All this took some time because he had to mount his Mercury outboard motor to his craft. It was midmorning before he was able to leave, and then there was a forty minute boat ride to the bridge. He accomplished all without problems.

Once he was in position, and with the boat hidden and secure under the causeway, Dale strung out a trout line in order to catch some food for the evening.

He’d had his fill of eating cold briskets for his meals. He then waded through the knee deep water and onto shore.

At the causeway’s west side he noticed two road signs, both in very poor condition. The first read “ Jupiter- Population-52”…..

“ Yeah, 52 aliens and 1 poor human.” Dale spoke aloud. He then looked at the second sign, also barely readable.

“ Area 52” He spoke, “ Heck, the nerve of those alien scum….they don’t even care to hide the fact that their here. Hell, maybe our own government knows all about ’em and they’re in partnership together? I guess Area 52 is one step better than Area 51?”

To the hillbilly’s discredit, if he’d read the back of the sign, which was more legible, he would have noticed that it actually read… “Rest Area 152” with an arrow pointing to a gravel access road heading south. Of course that didn’t happen.

Just at that moment he spotted a new model black expedition, with dark shaded windows coming up the road. It turned south, the same direction the arrow on the sign was pointing. This vehicle was way too nice for anyone making a living on the bayou. It must certainly belong to the space creatures which inhabited the town of Jupiter. Maybe inside were the “Men in Black” guys?

Dale decided to follow. After about a forty minute walk he could hear activity in the road up ahead. He ducked into the roadside bushes and decided he’d better use stealth to continue. Dale Dobson crept into the southeast corner of Jupiter2 without anyone alerted to his presents. He found that the building on that corner was unoccupied. He crawled inside and set up an observation post.

From his hiding spot he notice what seemed to be a town going through it’s normal daily routine. There were a few regular folks around, like himself, but not much else going on. The devil is in the details though, and Dale noticed the sign in front of the gas station had “UFO Service Here” and the building across from the general store read “Jupiter- Town Hall- Visitors Welcome”.

“ Visitors Welcome! Yeah, just like the ones on tv! they’re welcoming the little bastards.” He spoke softly to himself.

“ Heck the average looking people walking around may be aliens themselves, or maybe earthlings under alien control. They were such crafty little devils. It was Dale’s duty as a loyal American, hell, as a servant to the folks of planet earth to find out what was going on.”

It was about mid-afternoon and Dale was still collecting info on the body snatching space creatures when a small alien creature sprang from the doors of the general store and ran across the road.

Had he been discovered? Did they know he were there?

Dale ducked down behind the window frame and out of sight. It was at that time he began to realize how tired he was. His throats was still scratchy and he hadn’t had a descent nights rest in two days. He closed his eyes and before he could stop himself , he fell sound asleep.

End Act5


Friday, September 3, 2010 4:04 AM


You cast the characters so well. I love how everything seems to lead toward aliens for Dale and Tucker. This is great fun. Please continue, BP. And what is this little alien creature that has come from the wonders.


You must log in to post comments.



Levels of Heaven: Depths of Hell part3
Chapter 3 up and running. Some questions answered, and a few more created. Some characters folks may like, some not so much. But Isn’t that the way things really are? Jayne has always wanted to be the commander of his own ship. Mal, unknowingly lets him play for a while……Ok, also, a villain arrives on the scene….boo-hisss, the crowd makes wicked catcalls….BPZ

Levels of Heaven: Depths of Hell part2
This chapter….not much of a connection to chapter one, but the link is coming. Introducing a few new characters and the meaning and purpose of their mindset. Hope you enjoy and continue to follow….BPZ

Levels of Heaven: Depths of Hell part1
Post BDM. Let’s explore souls…..BPZ

Trouble for Nothing 4.0 final
Serenity finds herself on the last leg of a trip to deliver some well needed goods to Whitefall. Things look to be going rather smooth, but that can fool ya. Something happens …..and Mal finds that he has a war buddy reunion out in the deep pitches of the black….things are gonna get interesting. BPZ

Trouble for Nothing 3.0
Finally, a bit of cohesion to the confusion. Mal & Kaylee talk about things. The purple star is still around, and the one that’s dangerous, and doesn’t belong…..saves the day….

Trouble for Nothing 2.0
Mal, Kaylee and Wash land on Persephone for hull inspection. He shouldn’t feel alarmed, but the Captain is always apprehensive about such things. He’s a little nervous, but remembers the advice of the family physician that used to be his doctor on Shadow. “Just take a sugar pill with your medicine and things will be alright” least that’s what ‘ol Doc Jenkins used to say. Of course Mal ain’t on Shadow anymore….. And his mom didn’t used sugar pills, she used castor oil…. as a chaser for medicine. And for those who are familiar with castor oil…..all I can say is that you have to sit still and let things progress naturally……BPZ

Trouble for Nothing 1.0
Malcolm Reynolds, and his crew find themselves ordered to serve Serenity up for “Verse Travel Compliance”…… or rather, space worthiness inspection, and although there is no reason to be alarmed, having strangers examining his boat does make Mal feel a bit uneasy. This is also a bit of a hassle, but isn’t that what governments are for, to get in a man’s way?

For fic purposes, at this juncture Shepherd Book and Inara are both on their respective worlds. What remains of the crew of Serenity are Kaylee, Jayne, Zoe, Mal, and Simon & River as crew/passengers.

Polished Memories 2.0 - The Mission
Howdy Coats!! Been a while since I’ve been able to jot something down, but here goes. …Continuation of the “ Polished Memories” series, and more of what Mal remembers about the battle of Serenity Valley. We can see that the pain, and suffering, and casualties of war are chipping away at the Captain’s beliefs. Is Mal losing his soul? Only the Shepherd would know the soldier at this point, and maybe his Corporal, Zoe. Read on for clarification….

Polished Memories 1.0- Boot Camp
New approach at mixing things up a little. “Polished Memories” folk trying to sort through their emotions and feelings, and make themselves feel better. Doesn’t always work.

MIA chap5 Final-Clash of the Titans
More like Clash of the bed fleas or dust mites. But that can be a good thing. Being the small guys can keep you off the Alliance radar and have the old bloodhounds barking up the wrong tree. Petty crime can pay well enough, yet not have the Feds crawling up your backside…. Oh yeah, also, Mal & Zoe pick up the heat in this one. I’ll not say more. Maybe Wash does have a reason to be jealous? Hope you enjoy the final of “Missing in Action” BPZ