Tucker & Dale vs The Mars Girlz act4
Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hello everyone……adding Act 4 of T&D vs. TMG. This time there a little twist to the story. I’ve got Nick Nolte playing the part of Percy Thibodeaux. I had this vision of him in his role as John “four leaf” Tayback from the movie Tropic Thunder and felt that, that was the ideal look for Percy. Anyway hope this part contains a bit more drama……BP……..PS: sorry, there will be no Booty Sweat found floating around in the bayou.


Tucker & Dale vs. The Mars Girlz 4 ( Let’s Make a Deal )

Cast of players:

Tucker Trenton- Alan Tudyk Dale Dobson-Tyler Labine Dr.Rita Scales- Christina Hendricks Renée Summers (alien actress1)- Kim Kardashian Peter Owen ( Writer/Director/Producer of Aliens aren’t Serene)- Ben Stiller Zoë Beckett (alien actress2)- Paris Hilton Claudia Jewel (alien actress3)- Allison Scarlatti (WH13) Percy Thibodeaux- Nick Nolte Marshal Tucker- Jupiter auto mechanic Gable Tucker- Marshal’s son Victor Reynolds- Nathan Fillion Bryan Scully-Props guys & set director

ACT 4 ________________________________________________________________________

Tucker Trenton had just finished his lunch with Doctor Rita Scales. They had talked about a lot of things and they had talked about nothing at all. Rita used her car to drive Trenton down to Marshal Tucker’s gas station and garage.

“Nice making you acquaintance Mr. Trenton.” She offered her hand.

“ Likewise Miss Scales.” Tucker said. Then he crossed the street to the mechanic’s shop.

Bryan Scully was standing outside Marshal’s Garage. Bryan was a props guy for Peter Owen and was in the process of making a deal to purchase a sign from gas station owner. He had noticed Marshal’s sign which was displayed outside the business. It was supposed to read:


Now, after many years and the harsh, damp weather conditions of bayou country, most of the letters on the sign were faded beyond recognition so that it read:


Which made it humorously perfect for the town of Jupiter2.

“ I’ll have a fresh one painted for you after we finish production.” Bryan promised the gas station owner.

Tucker didn’t know what they were talking about. He really didn’t care, he just wanted his vehicle and wanted to head back to camp and his friend Dale.

“ Well, there’s a problem.” Marshal told Tucker. “ Your battry’s gone dead.”

Tucker couldn’t believe his run of bad luck.

“ I’ll send Gable into Rosedale this evening to get you a new one. Won’t be back till tomorrow. Till then looks like you’re stuck here with us.”

Tucker was disappointed in the news but what could he do? He’d have to find a phone to let his friend know what was going on. He walked back the seventy-five yards distance to Main Street.

Rita Scales was a little bored, there wasn’t much excitement in the small town of Jupiter, there hardly ever was, then she noticed the hillbilly Tucker walking back up the street. She went outside to meet him.

“ What’s up Mr. Trenton?”

“ Tucker, please…” He bade her call him. “ Just got the news my truck battry is dead. Can’t be fixed until tomorrow. Just looking for a phone and a place to stay for the night.”

Rita again felt sorry for the rugged hillbilly. They seemed to have had this connection somewhere. A connection out in the vastness of space at some point? Anyway she informed him of the payphone inside the pharmacy. Her cell phone was out of service at the moment. She also applied…….

“I have a friend renting a room at the motel across the road. His name’s Victor Reynolds, he’s the Key Grip for……” She paused considering what to say next, “ ……in town and has an extra bed if you need a place to stay.”

Tucker was much obliged at Rita’s offering. “Key Grip”? He didn’t recognize the term. Maybe it meant he was one of those guys that waded in the murky waters of the bayou and caught catfish by the mouth? He’d always known them as noodlers.

Anyway, he accepted her offer and went inside to call Dale on the payphone.


Dale Dobson had decided to make a return trip to Alien HQ………the spacecraft. He wanted to see if he’d caused a commotion. With his alien prisoner securely bound and sleeping in the tent, he felt secure leaving her unattended. His cell phone began to buzz, it came up “Unknown Caller” on the display.

So, maybe they had noticed their friend was missing? Maybe this was how they meant to track him, get a fix on his position. They may be using the phone system to find his location! He turned his cell phone off.

************** Tucker Trenton hung up the phone. His friend Dale wasn’t answering which confused him but Dale must have a reason for not answering. Maybe he was mad, or having a good day of fishing and couldn’t stop. Whatever the reason he would try to phone him again later.


Renée Summers had finished her lunch at the reconstructed eatery in Jupiter2. She now was headed back to film location 2 to meet up with fellow actress Zoë Beckett. She was preparing herself for all the complaining she was about to hear from her friend about not getting to meet Jack Black and Adam Sandler.

When she returned to the film location she found that it was abandoned. Where had Zoë gone? Maybe she was out somewhere in the swamps collecting her thoughts? Anyway the dark-haired actress decided to sit and wait for her friend…….and finish off what was left in the thermos. That might help her deal with Zoe’s bitching when she returned.


When again Dale had entered the alien campsite he found another creature fallen into his trap ( thermos spiked with moonshine). This time it was the first alien he’d witnessed from that morning. The creature was passed-out solid and the big man grinned when he decided what he would do.

“ So, two for one!” This was a great turn of events. Even creatures from outer space would recognize a bargain when they came across one. He’d bargain these two for his friend Tucker. Dale bound this alien just as he’d done the first. With his courage built up a little he ventured just far enough up the spacecraft ramp to scan inside. He could see four other aliens occupying the vehicle. They were all seated and seemed to be in suspended animation. Not wanting to press his luck Dale went back to the dark haired alien.

At that very moment the cell phone the first creature had been conversing on began to sound. Dale realized that the phone had been left on the table when he‘d captured the blonde alien girl. He was a little hesitant, but then decided to pick it up. He was already at their base camp after all. Tracking him there may confuse them.

“ Yeah…I’ve got them.” He whispered hoarsely into the phone.

“ Zoë?!!”

“ Yeah, Zoë and Shmoe! I’ve got both of them!” Dale voiced into the phone.

“ Who is this?”

“Your worst nightmare. I’ve got your friends and you will not get them back till I get what I want! Don‘t jack with me and they‘ll remain safe. Try anything and you‘ll never see them again!” Dale ended the connection with an evil scratchy throat laugh. He made a quick exit back to his boat before any of the sleeping aliens found him.


In the freshly constructed town of Jupiter2, Peter Owen sat across from actress Claudia Jewel in the small eatery used by the movie and production crews of his film.

“ That had to be the weirdest phone conversation I’ve ever had.” He told Claudia. “ Some nutcase telling me that he had Zoë, and that I knew what he wanted.” He paused looking at his cast member.

“ Likely some local yokel Zoë talked into messing with your head.” Claudia told him.

Just then there came a grunt from the table next to theirs.

“ More to say it was likely the Ghost of Groome Lake.”

The two turned their heads to see Percy Thibodeaux sitting across at a table beside them.

Percy Thibodeaux was an old fart. Oldest man in Jupiter folks said. Some claimed that he’d started the town himself, while others said he’d only claimed the honor after murdering it’s founders. Be that as it may, Percy was keeper, if not creator of the Jupiter mystique. He was at least a century old, Ok 80, but this part of the county was the only area he’d ever known. He was famous for alligator hunting and making up tall tales….. but his talent was, that he always mixed his tales with a smidgen of the truth. This way no one ever knew if his stories were real.

“ Ghost of Groome Lake?” Peter quizzed, “ I’ve never heard of the thing.”

The old man slowly turned his head to look in the couples direction.

“ Yes…..Ghost or legend…..whatever you want to call it. Story goes that in the 30ties, 19&33 I think, a young married couple on their way to Baton Rouge stopped here late one full moon night on the eve of their honeymoon. It had been a long day for each of them with drinking and celebration, and when they resumed their journey it’s assumed the bride fell asleep in the car right off……while the bridegroom kept his eyes open just long enough to make it to Breaux’s Bridge, just east of town.” He stopped, then began again….

“ They never made the crossing. The vehicle went over the edge of the bridge railing and into the mucky waters of the lake. The groom was able to save himself but his bride was never found. Some say a giant gator claimed her body and nestled it in the dead branches of a willow tree deep beneath the lake waters. The groom could barely live with himself afterwards. A year late he returned and drowned himself at the very spot he’d lost his bride. Legend has it that he comes back every full moon this month of the year. If he can’t find his bride he takes another, sometimes more. Some poor living soul that finds herself near the shoreline. Likely it was the Ghost of Groome Lake that got your girl……. And also who you talked to on the phone.”

Peter Owen had never heard of such bullshit!

“ It’s spelled Groome Lake, with an E.” He voiced.

Percy never showed a blink of emotion.

“ A misspelling by the papers of the day. Anyway, it’s how Groome Lake got it’s name, and until the ghost gets appeased it will not release it’s victim no matter what you think. Her souls being restrained in the darkness between life and a watery grave.” Percy Thibodeaux finished his story and finished his tall glass on Catgut Groome Whiskey.

“ You’re just a crazy old man.” Peter told the fellow. “I hired you as an extra…..not as an investigative reporter in charge of local folklore. I might just notify the authorities about this!”

“ Yeah, be that as it is, if I’m right you’ll have to live forever with the mysterious disappearance of one of your employees,” he paused, “ ….and if I’m wrong the authorities will come in and ruin your picture. It’s your choice. He finished.

Peter contemplated what the old Jupiter resident was saying. He looked over at Claudia. There were only questions in her eyes. This might be something he should think about for a while!”

End Act 4


Tuesday, August 31, 2010 2:14 PM


UFO Service the irony. And I really like Percy. No killing him, you hear that, Bruce?! ;)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010 2:19 AM


Kill off Percy? Sounds like a fellow that has lived so long has nine lives, like a CAT……how can I kill someone off like that? Maybe Percy is the Ghost of Groome Lake? Or maybe he’s a space alien himself…..I don’t want to spoil anything, only say that he is pretty clever at getting what he wants….thanks for your post……..BP


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