Tucker & Dale vs The Mars Girlz act1
Monday, August 30, 2010

Hello everyone, By the title I think folks have guessed that this is something totally not your typical FF type fan-fic. Nope! This fic is based on the upcoming comical movie “ Tucker & Dale vs. Evil”. Even though I have not seen the film…( not sure if it’s out yet) This is my attempt at a sequel. “ Tucker & Dale vs. The Mars Girlz”. A totally fictional look at a movie within a movie. Alan and Tyler retain their roles as 2 swampbillies just looking to have their simple backwoods connection with nature, yet they are thrown into a situation in which your common earth creatures have little experience……SPACE ALIENS!……. Act 1 can be read below. Hope my fellow browncoats will enjoy the fic which is my attempt at writing something funny. Alan Tudyk as an actor seems would be a lot of fun to be around….. And Tyler Labine seems to be an enjoyable person as well…….Hope to see more from both of them soon……BP


Tucker & Dale vs. The Mars Girlz (Tucker & Dale, the BDSequel)

Cast of players:

Tucker Trenton- Alan Tudyk Dale Dobson-Tyler Labine Renée Summers (alien actress1)- Kim Kardashian Peter Owen ( Writer/Director/Producer of Aliens Aren’t Serene)- Ben Stiller


Renée Summers put her lips to the stem that stuck out of the silver rubbery materiel. She took in a deep breath and began to blow slowly into the tube.

A girl will do a lot to break into show-business sometimes, she knew, especially movies, even to the point of helping out with film props. She blew, and a warm gust of air exited her lungs and entered the plastic inflatable doll that the actress was attempting to blow up. She watched as the thing began to expand. Well, it wasn’t really a doll, it was an inflatable alien made of formed constructed latex. Once filled with air the creature would stand about 4 foot 2 inches, have a big oval head with large, dark almond shaped eyes, with a grayish exterior to it. Your typical alien image.

Owen had gotten the F/X team to fabricated six of them for the movie he was starting to film down in Jupiter, Louisiana.

“ Aliens Aren’t Serene”, was a low budget B-movie and the brainchild of one, Peter Owen. A writer/scripter/ director/ Co-Producer, trying to make his way onto the “Hollywood” scene. Funny, because this particular venture of Peter’s was nowhere near Tinseltown California.

“Aliens Aren’t Serene” was Peter’s 3rd attempt at movie making, and by far his most involved. He had acquired the funding for making the low budget horror/comedy/thrill seeker, from a couple of wealthy business people trying to make a niche in the movie industry. Owen had gotten the legal permission for doing the film as part of a movie deal from Eden Rock & Urban Island studios. It was to fall in line with a group of movie sequels, about a couple of backwater hillbillies residing in the Louisiana marsh territory and living the life of unpredictable adventure. Swampbillies, would likely be a better name for his characters. Anyway, the story goes, that a couple of marsh stomping, third grade rejects named Rick and Casey were out in the stagnant laden bayou area of Louisiana on a fishing expedition and would come across other worldly beings, yes space aliens. The interplanetary space travelers would be hell bent are getting the two earth men under their control.

Jack Black had been approached to play the part of Rick Homestead while Adam Sandler was considering the role of Casey Homestead. Two cousins that head out into the back reaches of the Louisiana bayou countryside looking to do some fishing in order to supplement their meager wage paying jobs by putting fresh fish on the table for their families(Neither actor had committed to the project as of that time).

The story continued that, while in the wild the bayou boys encounter alien beings which are in the process of acquiring earth specimens to help in the reproduction of their dying planet, Mars. Of course the aliens know that to do this will require the humanoids to be totally mesmerized by the alien females which are attempting to lure them into the process. Hence the aliens will have to be ultra clever and deceptive. The movie was to be lighthearted and fun and Peter Owen had told the actors and actresses that the film may allow for a lot of improvised acting.

Since this was a low budget endeavor Peter had hired the best talent he could get within a certain salary range, and with the economy being as it were, he’d gotten a pretty good pool of skilled actors, prop people, wardrobe folk and others with good movie making skills. Also, to help keep cost down, Peter had asked the actors to help out with certain, simple chores such as assisting the props department.

Renée had taken her rented Saturn out to film location 2.…….a spot near an area called Widow’s Cove, and Peter had met her there. He’d asked her to inflate the alien dolls and said he would send another one of the cast members out to help her.

He left Renée there and headed back to oversee the construction of the town *Jupiter 2 ( *a fake town being constructed one half mile south of the real town of Jupiter)

Renée was to blow up alien prop dolls and check for air leaks. This was what the actress found herself doing at the moment. She was about halfway finished with her first one. She looked down to the ground where five others remained. She had no intention of blowing up all of them. That was something Peter could get some of the others to do. She would inflate two only. The first complete she propped it up against a fallen cedar stump which had broken limbs and moss all around. She was impressed with her work and surprised at how well the creature turned out. It could almost pass as a viable alien, and if filmed from a modest distance away the realism was almost eerie. Still, the film was not meant to be taken seriously. She knelt down and began blowing up the second inflatable alien.


Dale Dobson had just awaken from a restless nights sleep out in the swamps around Groome Lake. He and his friend Tucker were attempting to have a successful fishing trip out in the wilds of Louisiana in an area that was rumored to be haunted. Dale didn’t put much faith into such stories but still, after what had happened to him and Tucker last summer with that bunch of crazed college kids he was sure to be on the lookout for anything strange.

Tucker really hadn’t been in the mood for a new adventure, but Dale had convinced him that what had happened last summer had been a fluke. There was no way anything remotely similar could happen like that again. Be that as it may, Tucker hadn’t slept well the night before either. For one thing, he’d pitched his sleeping bag over a ant mound, and in the middle of the night he had awaken Dale screaming that he was being eaten alive. Ants had crawled up his pants legs and by the time he’d jumped into the water, and was waist deep in the Lake……..a thousand ant bites had covered his lower portions.

“ See! I told you it wasn’t a good idea to come out here! We’re cursed! Cursed with the deaths of a bunch of school kids!”

“ We are not!” Dale told his friend. “ Those were strictly accidents, or whatever! They sure weren’t our fault! And it‘s your own damn fault that you set your sleeping bag up over an anthill!”

Tucker seemed to relax at the reality of his friend’s last statement and decided maybe he was right. He might be acting a little paranoid.

Dale had calmed his friend down enough so that the remainder of the night they were able to get some rest. Still at the crack of early morning light Tucker remained sound asleep while Dale was up and ready for a full day of catfishing.

Deciding not to disturb his friend, Dale made a plan to head across the waters of Groome Lake and search for a good fishing spot. He would come back later and tell Tucker what he’d found.

Dale Dobson was paddling his small canoe around the edges of the lake when he thought he notice movement along the marsh brush and trees just up the bank from a spot known as Widow’s Cove. He pointed his boat in that direction and soon was silently making his way through the swamp grasses to a hiding spot against a felled cypress tree. These bayou folk weren’t trusting souls…… it was always a good idea to keep oneself hidden if you came upon their illicit activities such as moonshining. He looked over the edge of the log and couldn’t believe what he was seeing.


Renée Summers had all but given up on finishing the second alien inflatable. This one sure enough had air leaks all around and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. From her kneeling position she looked at the first alien creature. There were thin, almost invisible stiff wires attached to the arms just below the wrist. When she pulled on them she could manipulate the arms of the alien into almost anything position she chose. She smiled at how alive she could make the creature become. Before long she noticed this air filled alien was leaking also, although the leak wasn’t as sever as the other one, she pulled the inflatable space creature down and rested it on the moss covered ground next to her. She would have to inform Peter about this. She then stood and smoothed out her clothing.

This location was where several upcoming scenes of the movie were to be filmed, and for now the set was devoid of anyone but herself. She assumed the others of the work crews were beginning their morning duties at the fake town Peter was having constructed as part of the movie set. Although it was a bit muggy down in the south lands of Louisiana, the air was clean and the morning mist added a calm feeling of serenity. Renee took in a deep breath of fresh air and expelled it, she then walked up a ramp which led into what appeared to be an alien interplanetary space vehicle………spaceship in other words. In reality it was a long, flatbed truck with a thirty foot flying saucer movie prop mounted on the back. The ramp at the back of the truck resembled the ramp of the spacecraft lowered to the ground, and just as before the prop guys had done an excellent job of making plywood and fiberglass look like the real thing. The spaceship looked incredible! The wheels of the flatbed truck were hidden with marsh shrubs and swamp grasses and the vehicle’s cab was camouflaged with moss and tree limbs. The scene, an alien spaceship landed in the backwater countryside of Louisiana would seem very believable had there been someone around to see it…….which unknown to Renée at the time, someone was.


Dale Dobson had watched as a space alien had just turned into a beautiful earth girl. Holy Smokes!! The space alien had crouched down out of sight behind a tree stump and when it had stood up again it had transformed itself into an earth woman. This had shocked the country bumpkin to his core. Tucker would never believe what he’d just seen! Come to think of it, in his friend’s current state of mind, maybe he would.

Dale watched as the alien girl went back towards her spacecraft, then up the ramp and out of sight. Now would be the best time if any to make an exit without attracting the attention of the space creature. He silently crept back down to the waters edge and into his boat. Quiet as a dead garfish he pushed away from the bank and headed back towards his and Tucker’s campsite.

My gosh! Maybe all those stories he’d heard about local folk disappearing and animal mutilations around the lake had been true after all. Course if he went home or to the local town of Jupiter and told stories as such they’d think him crazy, or at least under the influence of the local moonshine, of which a lot of times he were guilty. Still it had all been real. He made a plan to return with Tucker later, and this time he would bring a camera. He’d have photographic proof that two ordinary boondocks, country boys had come across alien life forms. He paddled harder to get back to shore.

End Act 1


Monday, August 30, 2010 3:37 AM


This is fun and quite well written, BP. The writing style is very familiar though. ;) Waiting for another chapter. I can so see Alan as Tucker.

Monday, August 30, 2010 5:13 AM


Howdy Angele

Oh, you recognize the style do ya?...:) Ha…ha……I will be putting up Act 2 sometime this evening. Hope that you like it. Got 4 written so far. Always a joy hearing from you……BPZ


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