BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

VALERIEBEAN

Transition, Part 4
Monday, July 6, 2009

More of Inara's birthday - Cole dances with Genny, River encourages Michael, and Mal gives Inara a priceless gift. 25 years post-BDM. Reunion fic. Part of the Namesake series. Canon pairings. Minor angst warning - have tissues at ready.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2850    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

PART 4

There was no music, but Genny and Cole met in the middle of the yard as the first stars came out and danced as though there was. Genny loved that Cole danced with her, and that he learned how to lead, and that he took classes and taught her all kinds of crazy lifts. She was classically trained in ballet like Aunt River, so she was terrible at following, but Cole got this air about him when he led and if she relaxed into it, he’d spin her around until she had no idea where her feet were going, and she felt so amazingly free.

Tonight, they simply swayed. He knew the pregnancy was making her sick, and he’d been attentive without being obvious. The crowd had thinned significantly, the bonfire was built, and whenever Cole turned her toward the fire, the whole side of her body warmed up. He kept stalling their rotation, though, fixing his feet so he had a good view of his mom.

“She’s alright,” Genny said soothingly, without looking up.

Cole sighed and swayed them so she felt the kiss of fire glow again. “She looks better than this afternoon,” he allowed. “She has me worried, is all. My insides are twisted and I want to run back to the ship and see what’s in that file that she’s so afraid for me to know.”

“Stop being nosy,” Genny chastised. “There’s probably nothing to tell.”

Cole hugged her a little tighter. “You didn’t see her face.”

Genny knew he was right, but there was nothing he could do without violating his mother’s privacy. His hands were tied, and if he broke those bonds, she’d just tie them again to protect her mother-in-law. The only thing she could do was reassure him.

“Honey, my dad has been my doctor my whole life,” she pointed out. “I know he’s good at what he does. I trust him to be professional and discreet, but I am still very glad to have my own doctor now – you know – someone I don’t have to look in the eye on a daily basis or attend family functions with. If I were to get bad news from the doctor, I’d tell my dad right away and get a second opinion, but for run of the mill stuff, it’s nice to have some privacy.”

“Yeah,” Cole said distantly, then he shook off the fog. “Yeah. Companioning is a different kind of lifestyle.”

“You took a few classes at the Academy,” Genny pointed out. “How would you have felt if your mom were teaching you those things?”

Cole laughed at the thought and ducked his head. “You’re right. Oh, I hope you’re right.”

“If she wanted you to know, she’d tell you,” Genny assured. It was like their baby. It was good news, but Genny wasn’t ready to share it yet – especially not in this setting. She hadn’t planned it, and she’d wanted to see so much more of the Universe first. She felt guilty, because Cole was so happy. She wanted children … eventually. Now that Cole knew, she couldn’t abort this pregnancy and once the rest of the family found out, there’d be no turning back. There was no turning back now. She felt trapped and confused and it churned her stomach worse than the morning sickness.

Cole’s lips were warm and soft, pressing against her cheek and when she opened her eyes to look at him, she realized her face was wet. “Stupid hormones,” she murmured, her voice shaking. Cole embraced her, strong and protective, keeping her face hidden from the crowd.

“Everyone’s going to figure it out before we tell them,” he laughed. She bit back an angry ‘let them,’ and she worried that Cole was catching on to her reticence. Asking him to keep this from the Guild and their crew was a small thing, but asking him to keep it from his family was killing him. He was frustrated because he could tell he wasn’t reassuring her like she needed and she wished he’d stop trying long enough for her to sort through the mess of her own thoughts.

He cleared his throat and leaned his face close to her ear. “I know we agreed to raise the baby on Sihnon, but if you want to keep your space ship, we’ll find a way. We make our own ways, remember.”

Genny’s breath caught in her throat and her knees went weak. It wasn’t the most perfect thing he could have said, but it was damn close. He saw them so clearly as a family, living a dream, and it was hard not to step into that perfect future. She knew she couldn’t stall him for much longer. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket – he always seemed to have one since he started working for the Guild – and dabbed her face gently.

“I’m not ready,” she whispered. It took all the strength she had to ask him to keep quiet.

He nodded obligingly. “We can wait ‘til your water breaks and we’re on the way to the hospital to tell them for all I care.”

Genny looked sharply at him, wondering if his accommodating behavior was liquor induced, but he didn’t seem buzzed at all. “You told someone, didn’t you?”

“Only one,” he said slyly. As dismayed as she was, she was glad he admitted it openly and didn’t look guilty about it.

“Who?” she demanded.

He spun her so that they were dancing front to back, and they circled slowly so she could see everyone. Then he whispered teasingly in her ear, “I’ll never tell.”

She smiled nervously at his tone. “Uncle Jayne?”

“Not telling,” he sang playfully. He was making this a game, and somehow that made it easier for her.

“Your dad?”

“Not telling.”

“Michael read it off you and you just confirmed it, right?”

Cole laughed devilishly. “The person I told has been sworn to secrecy. But if you want to tell someone, I’ll tell you if they already know.”

Genny looked around at her various family members, wondering who she would tell first, but the notion of telling at all made her quiver with fear. She was suddenly glad Cole wouldn’t tell her, because otherwise, she’d be stuck with a white elephant in the room whenever she faced that person.

Feeling small and in need of protection, she sank against Cole and whispered again, “I’m not ready.”

Cole kissed her temple lightly, in a way that said her fears were silly, but he accepted and loved her the same. It was amazing how much he could fit into a single kiss.

*~*

The night was getting colder and Mal had bid farewell to all the guests he didn’t expect to crash on his floor, couches, or beds before morning. The family usually came rested and planned to stay up the whole night at gatherings like this, because they knew their time together was precious and limited. Coming in through the back door, Mal took a deep breath of the warm air inside and rubbed his palms together. He laughed when he saw Inara standing over the kitchen counter with a fork, eating a cake right out of the pan. He adored when she threw propriety out the window.

“I thought you didn’t want cake,” Mal teased, massaging her shoulders and enjoying the way she squirmed when his cold fingers touched her skin.

“I never said I didn’t want cake. You said there wouldn’t be cake,” she pointed out.

“My invitations did specify. Thanks to that, I think we only got two or three.”

“I’ve counted six, plus a stash of ice cream cone cup cakes,” Inara said, motioning to the other counter tops. Mal had spent so much time tending the meat, he’d hardly noticed the food in here, but true enough, there were a half dozen cakes of various shapes, sizes, and colors spread across the counters, and from the look of it, Inara had sampled them all.

“Want some?” she asked, holding up the fork for him to eat.

He wrapped one arm around her waist, hooked his chin over her shoulder, and then took the fork so he could feed himself. It was a chocolate chess cake that had Emily’s signature all over it. When Mal had started packing the garage a month ago, he’d found Emily’s baby book, and given it to her. Sky had tucked the recipe for chess cake into the pages, and Emily started making one every few days ever since. When Jayne refused to buy any more ingredients, she took the last few slices to school and sold them to the other kids, so she could buy them herself. Mal didn’t know if her persistence was due to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to make the cake on a space ship or if she was remembering her momma and stuck in a rut. She always got teary when she mixed the ingredients, and Jayne told her he could taste the love.

The chess cake was too rich to eat more than a few bites, and Mal set the fork aside and held his wife, and they watched their family through the kitchen window. He could feel the wistful tension in Inara, and see the way her jaw moved like she was trying to keep from crying. After a few minutes, she surrendered to the safety of his embrace, her chin dropped, and a single tear fell.

“That’s it,” he said irritably. “No more birthdays for you on account of you get pensive and morbid.” He went to the dining room and found her coat draped over a chair, and beckoned her over. “Plus, I’ll never top this gift. Come on.”

“Where are we going?” she asked as he helped her with her coat.

“Once around the world, like I promised,” he said. Inara paused, looking out the back door, and he squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry. They’ll all still be here when we get back.”

She inhaled slowly and didn’t move, so he took her hand and dragged her toward the front door. Going into the hall closet, he pulled out her walking shoes and a scarf, then dug out his coat as well.

“You’re playing at being social, but you’ve been avoiding me all night and I can’t stand it any longer,” he said. “You got something you need off your chest, so we’re gonna have a nice journey and leave the hardship on the road behind us.”

He didn’t mean to be so testy and brusque with her, but when something was wrong, he liked to fix it. They walked a few blocks in silence. She alternated from standing next to him and walking as two, to leaning on him and moving as one. Finally she said, “I have to go to Sihnon with Cole.”

“Is this to get your money from the Guild? I told you we can do without.”

“It’s partly that,” she said, closing her eyes and letting him guide her as she walked. “Also, there’s a Guild physician I need to see. It’s a routine decommissioning thing.”

Mal knew this wasn’t anywhere near the heart of the matter, but it was some part of the burden. “Is this … are you telling me because you don’t want me to go?”

“No. No, I want very much for you to come with me.”

Her eyes welled with tears and he had no idea what to do. He couldn’t help her until she told him what she needed and there was more fear in her voice than he’d heard in a long while. He squeezed her hand encouragingly and kept them walking, hoping to outpace the apprehension that threatened to over take her. No matter what, he was there for her.

*~*

Michael was glad Courtney hadn’t gone back to the ship with the others. It gave him hope that she was on the same wavelength as him. They’d been dancing around each other for weeks making eye contact and dropping innuendos, but tonight she’d taken his hand as he led her around and introduced her to everyone. It seemed like such a small thing, but his Mama always told him that the small, ritualistic markers were the most important for building the foundation of a lasting relationship.

As the crowd thinned, it became more difficult to hide from those who would embarrass him the most. After gorging themselves on marshmallows, he led Courtney to the front yard so they could sit on the swing and stare at the sky, but Aunt River was already there, rocking slowly with baby Serry in her arms.

“I wondered where you got off to,” Michael said warmly. He’d seen her around, but hadn’t gotten a chance to catch up with her yet. Being a reader herself, he always felt closer to her than anyone else. There was a oneness between her mind and her words that no one else had, and Michael had to concentrate or he’d forget to speak out loud.

River looked up and smiled warmly at them. “She likes the swing.”

Michael came up the front steps and peeked at the baby, who was awake, but sleepy. “Courtney, this is Aunt River and the newest addition to our family, Serenity Sky. We call her Serry.”

“Oh, she’s so tiny,” Courtney exclaimed softly. “May I hold her?”

“Of course,” River said.

Courtney sat on the swing next to River and took the baby in her arms. Serry was an easy going and social baby, and was accustomed to being passed around. Michael had been reading her from the womb, and he didn’t know if the baby had natural psychic ability or if she’d tapped into her mother’s, because after she was born, she got harder to read. River said she couldn’t judge, because she had the same bond with Serry that Michael had with his own Mama. Michael had never needed a hearing aid to hear his Mama’s voice.

Courtney nuzzled and cooed, getting smiles and spit bubbles from the baby. It was a strange side of her to see, given the work they did on a day by day basis.

“How old is she?” Courtney asked.

“Five months,” River said, wiping the drool from the baby’s face. “She came three months premature, but we expected her to.”

“Remember that heist we pulled on Osiris?” Michael spoke up. “The equipment saved her life.”

“Huh,” Courtney said, looking from him to the baby in amazement. “I’ve never met a family that plans a crime around a pregnancy. So are you from Michael’s father’s side or his mother’s?”

River giggled sweetly. “Neither.”

“It’s an honorary title,” Michael explained. “Baba has no siblings and Mama’s brother lives on Sihnon. I’m not blood-related to most of the folks here. Aunt River is sister to Uncle Simon who’s married to Aunt Kaylee, and they’re Genny’s parents, so Aunt River is Genny’s aunt by blood. Cole married into the family so whatever my brother’s father-in-law’s sister is, that’s how we’re related.”

“You’ll have to explain that to me again when there’s not a cute baby smiling at me,” Courtney said, nuzzling Serry again.

Michael felt their peace and joy, and he sank contentedly onto the step and leaned sideways so that his head was resting against River’s leg.

Are the new meds making you sick? he asked telepathically. It was nice being able to have a private conversation with her in the company of others. Unlike his Mama, River could hear him and talk back. Also, she could say whatever she wanted and not embarrass him.

It’s just crowded back there, River assured. I see why you like this girl.

He didn’t know if she’d picked up on the fact that Courtney was a soother, or if she recognized the simple truth that Courtney was an extraordinary woman. Come to think of it, he’d never spoken to Aunt River about soothers before, and he didn’t know if she experienced it the same way he did.

It’s easy to talk to her. It’s nice to feel normal.

River touched his head sympathetically and massaged her fingers through his hair.

Be careful, she warned and Michael cringed, feeling the heaviness of his secret.

I know.

But don’t be afraid to open your heart.

Michael looked back at her again, confused by the contradiction, but trying to hide the emotion from his face.

A broken heart will mend, but the secret cannot be unspoken, River explained. Don’t be afraid to love her.

Michael sighed bitterly, snuck a glance at Courtney and looked away before she could see something was wrong. How can there be love with no trust. If I can’t trust her to know I’m a reader –

Trust her to know, but don’t speak it aloud, River advised. She will know the truth in her own way, and she will understand and protect you. Trust her with your heart, and she will protect that too. Don’t be afraid.

Michael closed his eyes and hunched his shoulders, trying to absorb the paradox. Aunt River saw the world so simply and clearly, and in the rare cases where he could figure out what she was saying, she was always right.

“Babe, are you okay?” Courtney asked.

Michael sat up straight again and smiled at her, grateful that she’d noticed him, and he chuckled lightly. She’d called him ‘babe.’ She called everyone else on the ship ‘honey,’ ‘sweetie,’ ‘darling,’ or ‘dumbass,’ but she usually made a point of calling him ‘Michael,’ because Berke had them all calling him ‘Shorty,’ and she said if he didn’t hear his own name once in awhile, he’d forget it. He could get used to ‘babe,’ though.

“Just thinking,” he said softly.

Courtney looked at the baby who had fallen asleep in her arms, then back at Michael. “One step at a time.”

Michael laughed out loud. “Not what I was thinking. Come on.”

He jumped to his feet, and motioned for her to follow him inside. No more fear. No more dancing around each other. He certainly hoped Aunt River knew what she was talking about.

*~*

Inara could feel the twinge of discomfort building in her belly as they walked, and she knew she needed to sit down sooner rather than later. But when Mal took her into the space port and led her to the ship he’d requisitioned to fly her around the world, her heart nearly stopped. She’d never know for sure whether it was the pain in her body or the sight of the ship that made her faint into Mal’s arms. Mal must have assumed the latter, because she woke up in the captain’s chair on the bridge as he waved smelling salts under her nose, and he didn’t look concerned at all.

Gazing lazily about the cockpit, she reveled in the sight of each console, clean and polished like new. Mal was right. Forget going around the world. Even if all they got to do was sit here for five minutes, he’d never top this gift.

“Feels like home,” she said.

“Firefly Naught-five,” he said with a smile, glad to see her awake again. “More tricks and less broken parts. The Captain and I go way back.”

“War friend?” Inara asked.

“Before even that.” He moved easily around the bridge, running a start-up sequence, looking comfortable like he had forgotten nothing in their years planet-side. “Do you want to fly her?”

Inara shifted in the Captain’s chair, frustrated that the pain in her torso had not alleviated. She hoped it didn’t take too long to subside and she refused to let it spoil the moment.

“No,” she said. “It’s my birthday. I think I’ll sit in the Captain’s chair.”

Mal laughed at her and didn’t question her motives. His hands moved swiftly and the take-off was surprisingly smooth. Inara wondered if the naught-five had superior inertial stabilizers to the naught-three, or if Serenity had just been that bad off toward the end. They crossed the last breath of atmo into the black and the stars welcomed them home. Mal set a high orbit, chasing the light, setting the pace so they could enjoy a second, slow sunset over the world.

“Mind if I join you over there?” Mal asked enticingly.

Inara shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “I think I had a little too much cake for that.”

“I wasn’t planning to sit on ya,” he quipped.

Inara laughed, then winced as the motion twisted her stomach. “I’m sorry. That was a lie.”

Mal came quickly to her side and knelt next to her, his face covered with concern. Inara looked to the stars, trying to find a way to tell him all the things that had been scaring her to death recently – the things Cole had freed her to share since this afternoon, and that they’d promised to talk about when they were orbiting five miles above the planet. She loved this gift so much and she hated that she was tarnishing the memory.

“I keep feeling this sharp pain in my body,” she confessed.

“Where does it start?”

Inara hovered her hand over her belly and closed her eyes, waiting for the intensity of the pain to pass. Then she felt Mal gently, but firmly, pressing the pads of his finger tips against her face, then her palm, and then making small circles on her chest, trying different pressure points until he found the right one. With a whimper of relief, she moaned, and sank deeper into her chair.

“This is a little trick my wife taught me once,” he said. “Is it helping?”

Inara nodded and opened her eyes again, gazing past her husband and staring at the stars. If she’d known something this simple would help, she’d have told him sooner. But the pain wasn’t even her greatest secret.

“There’s a device implanted in my body,” she said. Even though she was allowed to tell, it was a difficult secret to reveal, and she couldn’t look at his face while she said it. She had to keep her focus outside. “Most Companions have them. I think it’s malfunctioning and that’s why I keep feeling this pain.”

Mal kept moving his fingers nonchalantly, like she hadn’t just betrayed his confidence. “Is it a tracking chip?”

“No, it’s a medical device,” she said. “It keeps me from aging, more or less. When the chip is removed, it’s called transition, and the natural aging process is restored.”

“That was Cole’s message from the Guild for you that upset you so much,” Mal checked.

She nodded and snuck a peek at him to see how he was reacting. He looked calm and collected and his hands still worked performing the acupressure. She hoped he wouldn’t snap angrily.

“You have to go to Sihnon to get it taken out, and then you start to grow old.”

He was starting to understand the source of her fear. So she told him the rest. “If they take it, I die.”

Mal’s hands froze and his eyes went wide. “No,” he said firmly. “No, if that were the case, Cole wouldn’t allow it. Why would the Guild sentence you to death?”

“They … it’s … It’s not them, it’s me,” she wept miserably. “I’m dying. I’ve been dying my whole life. That’s why I joined the Guild and became a Companion. I have a childhood disease and the doctors said it would be a miracle if I saw my twentieth birthday. I didn’t want to die. It was the only way.”

She took his hands and bowed her head, begging his forgiveness. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, but his own hands were shaking badly.

“This chip has kept you alive?”

Inara nodded. The Guild had been pressing her to transition for years, and now with the chip malfunctioning, they had their excuse. Her selfishness – her foolishness – had nearly left her children without a mother, and now she was running out of options to hold on to her life. “When I went into labor with Cole, it deactivated. That’s what went wrong. That’s why I nearly … And then with Michael – Simon used some kind of frequency emitter to keep if from shutting down again. And now my baby can’t hear.”

The guilt overwhelmed her, and Inara sobbed. She cried so hard for Michael’s lost hearing, and it was a cruel irony that she was the only one he could hear with perfect clarity. Inara felt she’d robbed Mal of so much.

“‘Nara, don’t blame yourself for that,” Mal soothed. “The hearing thing is genetic from my side. Besides, Michael would rip his ears off if he could hear with ‘em.”

He stroked her hair soothingly, rubbed her arms, and held her hand, wanting so much to take her in his arms, but she was in too much pain to move.

“We’ll figure this out,” he assured her. “We’ll go to Sihnon and ain’t no one gonna touch you ‘til we have a solution. I will take on the whole Guild before I let them take you from me.”

He would. She knew he would. He was crazy enough that he just might find a way to win.

“Maybe we can talk to the doctors Tam about this disease thing,” he continued. “It’s been a long while since anyone tried to treat you for it, and there are medical breakthrough happening all the time. Jamie probably made ten of them today.”

The hopelessness melted somewhat and for the millionth time Inara was grateful that she’d taken a chance and opened her heart to Mal. She didn’t want to die before him.

Tugging his hand, she sat up in the chair, forcing herself to move through the pain.

“Can you sit with me?” she asked, not caring that she sounded desperate and weak.

He wiped the tears from her eyes, stood up, and shook out his legs.

“Hold on,” he said, and ran off the bridge. She watched him, startled, and called after him, but he told her to sit tight and wait. He wasn’t running out on her. When he returned, he had a small cupcake with a single lit candle, and he knelt in front of her.

“Make a wish.”

Inara wiped her face, feeling joy fighting off her uncertainty. Even now, with all she’d said, Mal was trying to make this moment beautiful. She blew out the candle and he pressed his lips against hers. Wiping her tears away again, he lifted her up, and joined her in the chair, sitting her on his lap.

“What did you wish for?” he asked as they reclined and gazed at the stars. “Long life?”

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

Mal kissed her neck. “Did you wish to break orbit and run away to another world?”

Inara sighed dreamily, resting her forehead against his temple, letting her tears fall down his cheek. “And another and another until we’ve traveled the whole sky.”

Mal groaned lustily, his heart yearning for the adventure. “Let’s go then.”

Inara looked back at him. “What?”

“I told you I’d never top this gift. This ship is yours,” he said simply. “Happy Birthday.”

*~*

Please comment before reading on to Part 5

COMMENTS

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 12:19 AM

KATESFRIEND


Sigh. How beautiful. And so romantic. Nothing can ever top truthfulness in a relationship, and between Michael and Mal, the ladies have been well treated. Loved seeing all aspects of Cole and Genny's feelings. Fear and hope are so common with a new baby. Great job!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 6:33 AM

PLATONIST


Mal kissed her neck. “Did you wish to break orbit and run away to another world?”


Inara sighed dreamily, resting her forehead against his temple, letting her tears fall down his cheek. “And another and another until we’ve traveled the whole sky.”


All kinds of wonderful:)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 7:15 AM

AMDOBELL


I especially loved Inara finally opening up to Mal and telling him what was wrong. I am hoping like crazy that they can find a doctor who will be able to save Inara when they take out that implant. It makes sense that she would blame herself for Michael's loss of hearing but this is something that happens, nobody plans it that way and she isn't to blame. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 4:08 AM

BYTEMITE


I imagine the last scene on a bridge like the old one, all dark and silvery like the truth between them, warmed by the little gold flame from a candle in the cupcake. Face of the planet below and the stars beyond out the view. Ah, vivid.

Genny and Cole are adorable out by the fireside, too. And a nice surprise with a ship for all of them. Suppose Genny may not have to worry about finding a new ship after she returns the current one to the guild?

Thursday, July 9, 2009 2:40 AM

2X2


The implant keeping Inara from aging is an interesting idea, and I love that they have a whole 'transition' thing.

I've been enjoying this series. It's neat to see all your characters grown/growing up; they are all well defined.

Love the new firefly!
though I can't help but point out that it's 'aught' not 'naught' in the number designation... 'aught' meaning 'zero' like a '01' paint brush is called an 'aught one' etc.)


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