How I joined the crew of Serenity

I amazed even myself with the splendid disguise I wore the day I got finally got caught. Even if my closest friend- not that I had one- looked straight at me, they would not have recognized me. I discarded the disguise the first time I found privacy. I turned a corner, took a step, and had my hands pinned and tied behind my back long before my step reached completion. The street was covered with men wearing blue gloves. I knocked two of them out, and then simply stopped fighting. Why did anything matter, anyway? I’d lost everything else. I supposed my freedom should be next. I wished the pieces of luh-suh surrounding me an especially painful death indeed.

I got my wish. Without warning, the men all reached for their mouths at the same time. I had heard about this on Hera, during the war. When the injuries of a person couldn’t be repaired, and the pain felt unbearable, sometimes their higher-ups would press a button in a different location, and a device on their molar would explode. A mercy killing, I heard this practice called. I fought free and ducked down just in time. After the explosion quieted, I suddenly found myself the only live one in the building.

I went to the nearest service station, and sure enough, no bounty existed for me. My "friend", an informant from Parliment, informed me that the non-existent place that had been hunting truly didn’t exist anymore. That despicable establishment, shut down ineradicably wouldn’t harm anyone else. What would I do now?

I wandered around, trying to decide, when a ship caught my eye. I strolled over out of pure curiosity on how an old Firefly like that somehow managed to hold together. I lip read what the man in the front- the captain, I assumed- stated. “Listen guys, just some dropping off of the cargo, and we’re on our way. Get in, get out. Absolutely routine. Just like always.” Something about the way he stated that almost made me laugh.

I noticed a thin, pale girl walking toward me. She stared at me as if she knew all my secrets. “River, come back here.” I heard the worried tone in a man’s voice, much like the voice a caring parent would use. Love and worry combined. I gazed toward the voice and saw an attractive young man, most likely a doctor or such. He was married, as the ring on his finger stated. “Simon, she’s fine, 'member? Her medicine's working perfect, and her brain’s fixed. ‘Sides, you’ve got other worries now.” Her laugh was very cheering.

The woman, also sporting a wedding ring, held a baby about a month old. The girl, River, beckoned me to come over. I admit, bewilderment surrounded me, but what else did I have to do? I started walking toward her and the ship. When I got to them, River introduced me. “This is my friend.”Interesting tidbit of news from someone I’d never met. The others seemed to take the information in stride.

The woman holding the baby smiled and declared “Apparently, you’ve already met River. I’m Kaylee. This is Mal, our captain, Jayne, Inara, Zoe, my husband Simon, and our lovely daughter, Amanda. Oh, and your name is…” I didn’t want to tell them anything, but I had a feeling River would see through any lies. “Sophie.” I wasn’t telling them anything I didn’t have to. Kaylee never stopped smiling “Shiny!” she stated. I couldn’t help but like her.

The baby in her arms started crying, resulting in groans from the entire crew. The man who resembled a bear spoke a little louder than was necessary. "You have exactly twelve seconds to stop that child from crying before we leave it here." Poor thing. It bawled of hunger. I could tell by the cry. Low, high, medium, stop. High, high, low. "She's hungry. Why don't you feed her?" I wasn’t craving to state the obvious, but someone had to.

River ogled at me like my existence made the mysteries of the universe appear simple. The others had pure shock exhibited on their faces. "Not another one!" The huge, burly man exclaimed. "You a psychic too?" Whoa. What was going on here? "What? Of course not." Had this man lost it? Then the real meaning sunk in. "What do you mean, too?"

The captain finally found his voice "Seems to me this girl's got a real special gift and I'm thinking we could use some 'round here."He turned to me. "How much you want?" Did they specialize in asking odd questions? I didn't want to sound like an idiot, but my brain could only find one way to phrase this. "Want for what?" Brilliance ensued at almost everything I tried, but occasionally common sense got in the way.

Jayne spoke up. "To join our crew. Take care of that kid. Heck, I'll pay for you myself. Name your price." Wow. Shelter and pay? What was the catch? “Will you give me a place to sleep?”The other woman, Zoe, spoke for the first time. She seemed dreadfully sad."Yes, You'll get your own room. Food, too. What do you say?"

Ummmm.... how was that even a question? I suddenly thought of something."I'll a cook for you, too. I figured out how to alter the protein in protein packs to give delicious flavors. Want to try?" Everyone leaned forward eagerly. I handed out the sachets I had, one per person. I really hoped they hired me. Those were my last ones.

They seemed pleased enough. The captain finished his and said "You still missed the part where you tell me how much you charge. Way I figure, we need a nanny something terrible, and you can make protein taste like strawberries. You're hired. Just name your cost." He seemed to remember something."One more thing. How do you feel about Alliance?" Was he crazy, talking like that out loud? "Why don't we go into your ship, and I'll tell you."

Five minutes later we were in his ship. I was ready to tell my story. I had never told the completed description to anyone. I took a breath, and began.

"I grew up on Hera, near Serenity Valley. I'm sure you see where this is headed. That's what the boat's named after, right? I hate the Alliance. I don’t have anyone else to blame for leaving me orphaned and alone. My father fought with the browncoat and my mother was fighting right alongside him when they died. My parents weren’t especially attentive to me or my sister, but my four-year-old sister still missed our mother, even though I had been the one to raise her. She went to search for my mother in the middle of the night, and got caught in the crossfire.

I found her the next morning, freshly bleeding. I went back home to find my house had been hit by a bomb. I was ten at the time, but already probably the smartest person for at least fifty miles in any direction. The sounds and sights of war were so revolting, especially within earshot of Serenity Valley, that the first thing I did when I got over the shock was take the first shuttle leaving, and do my best to lock it from my mind.

I wandered from planet to planet, getting any job I could, until I slipped up. I was tutoring college kids, and I didn't have a license. Can you think of anything more pointless? No college kids are going to check if their tutor is licensed. In my opinion, if you can understand the material at first glance, why do you need a license?

I'm still not sure how I got caught. But, at the time, I was tutoring someone with a strong need for vengeance and a relative incredibly high up. I was sentenced to a month on the Penal Moon. It was not fun there. I escaped that night. Just for the record, I'm the only one to ever break out. In retrospect, that was especially stupid of me. Breaking out of an un-escapable prison is really stupid for anyone trying to hide their smarts.

I make it my business to know what's going on about me. I actually have a "friend" who acts as a key informant of Parliament. Anyway, he informed me that a non-existent section of the government was starting to search for me, and I was doomed. I took insane precautions- moving every half day, a new planet twice a week- but they would have caught up with me eventually. Anyone with a bounty of one hundred thousand credits on their head has to be very careful indeed. There aren't a lot of young women travelling around by themselves.

They finally caught up with me a few days ago. As they were capturing me, their section must have been ended. They had molar bombs. I got out just in time. I was wandering around, trying to decide what to do, when I saw your ship and River beckoned me over. That's it, I guess. So, you agree with me, right?”

The captain seemed approving enough. Inara finally spoke up. “About ten months ago, the captain finally caved in and told Simon and Kaylee they could have a child. As a result, none of us have had any sleep the past month. Our crew has fought Reavers, the Alliance, and everything else you can think of. Nothing has been as awful as the past month. We were going to kick Simon and Kaylee out, but we need a mechanic and a doctor too badly. Hiring you would solve all our problems.” What else was there but to accept? "Tell you what. How about I join your crew, watch the baby, prepare the meals, and in return, you give me food, give me a place to sleep, and enough money to buy everything I utterly need, like clothes. That's usually about half a platinum a month." Why did they appear drastically shocked? At least pleasure mingled along with the surprise in their faces.