BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TRAINBANDIT

A Poem for River
Sunday, May 10, 2009

This poem is another description of River's experience


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1026    RATING: 8    SERIES: FIREFLY

Attacking, not stopping she wants to talk.

Mouth wide, teeth white and bare, she wants to talk.

She flies with knives on her finger tips; there was a siege.

Her face has been changed by all this: it looks like ivory, it looks like a cloud. It looks like a Gothic cartoon.

She thinks she may die at any moment and this is her last chance. Every moment is her last chance.

COMMENTS

Sunday, May 10, 2009 10:55 AM

BYTEMITE


One of the problems with having your amygdala cut on would be the constant, uncontrollable, primal fear.

I think you've captured that, and it also feels like you've brought that into a little moment study of when she's fighting the Reavers (that mention of the siege).

Sunday, May 10, 2009 1:22 PM

RALLEM


Direct and to the point. I am not well schooled in poems so I cannot grade you on format because I don't know much about formats other than they exist. The cadence sounds right when I read your poem though.

Monday, July 4, 2011 2:32 PM

TRAINBANDIT


I know this is year late, but thanks for your comments. I had fun with this. What I meant by siege was a double entendre: both the siege in River's mind, and the real siege on Mr. U's moon. TB


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