“WHAT?” It was too early for this.

Malcolm Reynolds ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at the infuriated doctor glaring up at him as if it was somehow his fault that his little sister was---and with---and all night---.

Shaking his head, the captain of Serenity took in a deep, shaky breath. He must be sleeping. That had to be it. He was having some very morbid dream thanks to the doc’s atrocious cooking last night.

That had to be it!

“Well?” Simon grounded out. “What the ruttin’ hell are you going to do about it?”

Simon had just said ‘ruttin’----didn’t that just prove that this was only a dream?

Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup…

“Why are you tellin’ this to me gorramit?” Mal asked the dream-Simon, since his subconscious seemed persistent in keeping him in this dream---which was quite vivid for a dream----the most vivid one he’d ever experienced actually.

Everyone were congregating about them, watching them in confusion.

He’d never dreamt of the whole crew together like this before.

“You’re the one who always says that this is your ship and that you want to be informed of anything that’s going on in it!” Simon roared out, face bled of all color.

“I said I wanted ta know what everyone was doin’ on this ship---NOT WHO everyone was doin’!”

“Who’s doin’ who?” Jayne asked Zoë in an excited whisper.

The first-mate just shrugged her shoulder in confusion.

“I want him thrown out of the airlock for abusing my sister!”

Jayne’s face went comical. “The moonbrain’s gettin’ laid?” He ignored the glares Simon, Zoë and Shazza were giving him.

“What’s all the shouting ‘bout?” Kaylee murmured as she appeared, dragging her feet as she walked and looking still half asleep. “There was so much screams I wondered if’n we hadn’t been boarded by Reavers.”

Simon turned to Kaylee, looking worried as he grabbed her hands. “Bao-bei, something happened, something very bad happened.”

Kaylee was awake in seconds and looked frightened. “It ain’t really Reavers, right? ‘Cause I was just jok---.”

“ No Bao-bei.” Simon looked deep within her eyes. “This morning I couldn’t find River and after searching the ship I found her in that murderer’s bunk!”

“Was she nekkid?” Jayne asked, and then made a sound of pain when Zoë and Shazza both elbowed him roughly in the ribs.

“Was she?” Kaylee seconded the question, eyes wide.

Mal winced, wondering if Simon should really let Kaylee know that the murderer had taken advantage of the young girl. Kaylee was a really sensitive creature. She mightn’t recover from the horror.

Simon took in a deep breath. “Yes, bao-bei. They were both naked.” He looked in pain. “I---.”

“Yeah!” Kaylee whooped, fist shooting up in the air as she giggled. “It worked! I’m so glad for them!”

Mal’s mouth fell open.

Simon dropped Kaylee’s hands, looking horrified before placing his palm to her forehead as if searching for fever.

“You knew?” Zoë asked, elbowing a silent yet leering Jayne Cobb harshly once more.

“Gorramit woman!” Jayne cursed, rubbing his now aching ribs. “I didn’t say no gorram thing!”

“But you were thinking git.” The caramel beauty deadpanned.

Simon finally found his voice, looking up at the mechanic in horror. “Kaylee, you knew that Riddick was taking advantage of River and didn’t say anything?”

Kaylee’s smile froze. “Now wait a minute there bao-bei, Riddick ain’t takin’ ‘vantage of no one. Your sister was the one who went looking for him last night to seduce him.”

Simon looked utterly sick. “River is a mentally unstable young girl! How could you—knowing this—allow her to do such a thing without at least telling the captain and I so that we could keep her from making such a huge mistake?”

Kaylee frowned darkly at her boyfriend. “River is more stable than you want to admit! She went without those ruttin’ medications you keep forcin’ down her throat and she did just fine! She was even more lucid and able to speak more normal without them!”

Simon placed his hand on Kaylee’s shoulder in what would seem to be a placating way. “Now bao-bei, I know that it would seem that way to you, but I’m River’s doctor, and I---.”

“Don’t you bao-bei ME bao-bei!” Kaylee shrugged off his arm angrily.

Mal blinked. Kaylee mad was a rare thing to see. Kaylee mad at SIMON had never happened until this moment, and the captain couldn’t help but find it all mildly entertaining.

“Medicines?” Shazza asked, speaking with a disapproving tone that’d been directed too many times in Mal’s direction in the past for comfort. “You were forcing medicine into that girl?”

Simon sighed in growing annoyance. He never did liked explaining his actions towards his sister. “I don’t know what you know about my sister, but she’s a mentally unstable young girl who needs me to take care of her and---.”

“No, ya don’t know yer sister like I do!” Shazza stepped forwards, looking so intimidating and angry that Mal had to gulp, remembering how his cheek had stung all last night from her slap. “She saved us, she ‘n Riddick both. If’n it hadn’t been for them we’d not have made it out alive!”

She shivered before continuing a shaky voice. “River personally saved my life, she made decisions, and she took care of us. Ask yer girlfriend if’n you ain’t believing me, she’ll tell you that maybe yer sister don’t need ya as much as ya need her ta need ya.”

Simon froze, looking torn, hurt, and somewhat angered.

Jayne looked absolutely entertained with the whole confrontation.

“She’s right, Simon.” Kaylee whispered, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Riddick understands her River-talk, he took care of her, protected her from Johns when he was trying to kill her, and he went up against one of those hundan creatures with just a bone-shiv and his bare hands to keep it from killing her.”

Mal frowned. He hadn’t heard that story last night. Why hadn’t they told him it?

“And she really likes him.” Kaylee went on in her soft voice, visibly soothing the hurt and angered doctor obviously suffering from a mighty dose of brotherly jealousy. “She searched him out, she made her choice, and I know that you love her more than your own life and that you still see her as that little girl she was before the Alliance messed her up---but she ain’t no little girl Simon. She’s eighteen, and she’s old enough to make her own choices.”

“Her own mistakes you mean.” Yet Simon’s voice was without malice. It was pure defeat. “She’s my little sister, Kaylee; I don’t want to see her get hurt. And—and—I mightn’t know Riddick personally, but I know men like him and Jayne. They don’t have a heart and no real desire for commitment. They’re just in it for the trim---and River has suffered too much already to just be someone’s trim.”

“ Hey!” Jayne cried out, clearly insulted.

“What’s ‘trim’?” Jack whispered to Suleiman, who just blushed scarlet and refused to acknowledge the question.

Mal looked down in amusement at the two youngsters before shaking his head and sighing, finally admitting to himself that this wasn’t a dream and his lil Albatross had indeed just taken up with the guy Jayne had referred to the night before as the ‘blackest hearted murderer tha ‘Verse ever had ever seen who could kill six men with a gorram teacup and a bottle of spam.’

“Does he really?” Simon asked softly.

“Does he really what, bao-bei?” Kaylee asked.

The doctor closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before asking: “Understand her River-talk?”

Kaylee broke out in a large smile as she nodded.

Shaking his head again, Mal pushed passed Simon and the others, making towards the bunk where the two in question were.

“Sir?” Zoë asked in confusion.

“Where are ya goin’ Mal? Tha party’s ‘ere!” Jayne called from behind him.

“I’m the captain of Serenity.” Mal announced over his shoulder, brown coat flying behind him. “I’m going to go to the source of the disturbance on my ship and get to the bottom of this. Hopefully they have on their clothes by the time I get there.”

There were rapid footsteps behind him as it would seem no one wanted to miss the confrontation.

“Now Mal,” Shazza appeared by his side, long dark curls bouncing wildly around her sun-bronzed face as she turned to look at him reproachfully. “Don’t go and do anything stupid.”

He frowned, turning to her, slightly insulted. “Now why would ya go and assume that what I’m about ta do is stupid-wise?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “’Cause I know you.”

He bristled, glaring at her beautiful face. “You knowin’ me when I was eighteen and you knowin’ me now are two completely different things! I’m not the same person I was back then.”

“True.” She agreed as they continued on the way to Riddick’s bunk. “You were handsomer back then. And more understanding.”

He froze once more, turning to look at her in outrage. “I’ll have you know that I’m a very handsome man! I’m also an agreeable, independent, self-supporting man who is the captain of his own ship and has the love, support, and respect of his crew!”

Jayne snorted somewhere behind them.

Mal ignored him, glaring down into Shazza’s unimpressed face. So...how does Zeke compare to THAT?

“If yer such a catch, Captain Reynolds, then why aren’t you married?” The woman challenged, obviously reading his silent question and pissed as hell at him for even thinking it.

“I was married!” Malcolm announced, slightly disturbed that she still knew him and his way of thinking oh-so well.

Kaylee and Simon moaned at the reminder while Jayne burst out into a long string of curses about conniving bitches.

“Sir, I don’t think bringing up Saffron was your best move.” Zoë announced flatly from his other side. “She is married to more men than one can count and did marry you under false pretenses before overtaking the ship and sending us off to be scrapped by pirates.”

Mal felt his face going red at the look Shazza was giving him. Dammit! Gorramit all to hell! Even dead Zeke was making him seem like an idiotic teenaged boy with a crush!

“Why am I na surprised that yer marriage was like that?” Shazza shook her head with a sigh.

Mal bit his tongue to keep from saying something to her in anger that he wouldn’t be able to take back, especially if that something proved to the beautiful woman that it hadn’t been as easy for him to forget her and move on completely as it’d obviously been for her. “Let’s go wake up Lil’ Albatross and Riddick and get this over with.” He snapped before stomping away.

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Stretching leisurely like a cat, River could sense Simon, Captain Daddy, and apparently the whole crew storming towards the bunk, but she was too comfortable to even try to move. After Simon had left, Riddick had told her to go and put on some clothes since her brother would obviously be returning with the captain, and the murderer didn’t want either to get a look at her bare skin, so she’d silently gone to her bedroom, taken a quick bath, changed clothes, and returned only to jump right back in bed.

The door flew open and Malcolm Reynolds entered the bunk, freezing in the doorway and causing those behind to walk into him. Shazza was the only one who avoided it since she’d been walking at his side, and the elder woman just smiled at River and Riddick.

“Gud’night I ‘spect?” She gave River a quick grin.

River blushed thoroughly and nodded.

Riddick chuckled at her.

River gave him a glare.

“Morning!” Kaylee pushed passed Simon and skipped into the room, bright smile on her face. “I would have gone and bathed, but I decided that I needed to be here to give cap’n the kicked-puppy look if he gets outta hand, and to catch Simon if he faints.”

“Hey!” Both men cried out.

Kaylee gave them a wide-eyed, innocent look.

Jayne snickered and then cried out in pain when Zoë elbowed him once more.

Mal drew himself to his full-height and looked at them. River could feel his worry about her and couldn’t help but smile at him. He really was her Captain Daddy.

“Now, Richard---Simon brought this occurrence to my attention, and since lil’ Albatross is like my daughter, I’m going to do the same thing to you that I did to Simon when I found out that when he was ‘helping’ Kaylee in the engine room he was fiddling with my mechanic and NOT with the machinery…”

Simon went beet red and Jayne leered at him. “Shut up ape-man if you don’t want me telling the captain something I’m sure he’d send you out of the airlock for.”

Jayne scowled angrily at the doctor who was obviously referring to the relationship the hired-guns was secretly having with Zoë.

Thankfully, Mal was so intent in his mission that he didn’t hear that, and continued on, glaring at Riddick. “What are your intentions when it comes to my pilot? She’s like my daughter and I won’t let you use her because you couldn’t wait ‘till we docked at port to buy some whores and have some trim.”

“Oh!” Jack’s eyes went wide from the back of the group as she finally understood what ‘trim’ meant.

Suleiman, caramel skin glowing red, refused to look in her direction.

“So,” Mal took in a deep breath. “Once again I ask you. What are your intentions with my pilot?”

Throughout the whole thing Riddick had been silent, sitting leisurely in the bed, leaning against the wall with River draped over him, resting her head on his lap. While his mental wall was back up completely, the girl could feel his amusement rolling off of him as he took in her family.

“She’s mine.” He finally announced in a ‘this-should-be-obvious’ voice. “I’m keeping her.”

“She’s not a puppy for you to just ‘keep’ her!” Simon’s aura vibrated with brotherly worry and indignation.

A slow smirk that was pure sex graced the face of the handsome murderer, causing the women in the room to smile and blush, some even sigh. “I don’t know ‘bout that Doc, last night was more animalistic than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

River blushed at the pleased satisfaction he felt when he remembered the night before and that very morning.

Simon looked ready to faint.

Kaylee grabbed hold of him just in case.

Jack was blushing and had inched away from Suleiman so that she was as far from the blushing boy as possible without looking too suspicious.

Shazza and Zoë shared knowing smiles.

Jayne was looking at River in consternation, not able to believe that the ‘moonbrain’ was getting laid.

Mal’s thoughts were as confusing as the expression on his face. “So…this keeping, it goin’ ta be done on my ship or are we gonna ta have ta hurt ya for tryin’ to take away my pilot? Serenity won’t fly without her.”

The amusement grew in Riddick. He obviously knew that he could disarm and kill the males on the ship easily and rapidly, and so he felt no threat from them at all, finding the whole situation amusing.

“We’ll be staying, for now.” Riddick informed Mal, hands behind his head. “You need a pilot, River’s that pilot and I know enough myself to help her in rough situations. And you can never have too many guns on your jobs.”

Mal’s eyes swung to River. “You told him about our jobs?”

River nodded.

Mal returned his glare at Riddick. “We don’t pay much.”

“You’re not much in the way of company either.” Riddick deadpanned.

Mal chose to ignore that. “But you’ll get your share of whatever profit we make, and food and board are free.”

“Talking about jobs, sir.” Zoë spoke up, hands behind her back. “According to the computer we’ll be reaching New Mecca in a couple of hours. We can drop off the holy man, resupply, and go see that client.”

Mal nodded, before turning to Riddick. “Well, Richard, seems I’ll get to see just how good you really are.” With that, he turned and made his way through the crowd behind him, leaving River and Riddick in the bunk.

“Well, what are you all still doin’ here looking?” Shazza asked the onlookers, hands on her hips. “I made breakfast ‘n it’ll be cold if y’all don’t hurry!”

Everyone turned and hurried away.

Everyone but Simon, who hesitated at the door and took in a deep breath before speaking to Riddick. “If you don’t take care of her or treat her well, I don’t care how badass you are, I have more than twenty ways I can kill or incapacitate you with what little medicine and surgical tools I have here.”

Riddick’s smirk grew, and he nodded silently, acknowledging the warning and reluctant acceptance.

Simon took in a deep breath and turned to leave.

“Simon!” River pulled away from Riddick and hurried to her feet, throwing herself into her surprised brother’s arms. The girl hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

He smiled down at her tenderly. “You tell me if he treats you bad. I’ll knock him out with chloroform and castrate him.”

“’Kay.” She smiled up at him.

Giving River a kiss on her forehead, Simon sent Riddick another glance over her head and left, closing the door behind him.

The young woman turned to the silent murderer. “Family accepted.”

“Doesn’t matter if they do or don’t.” Riddick told her.

“To girl it does.” She smiled before climbing back in bed, returning to resting her head on his lap. “To girl it does.”

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“Now you wave regularly.” Kaylee told Jack as she looked at the young girl. While she was going to miss her terribly, she was glad that Iman had decided to take Jack with Suleiman and him and keep her safe. Life on Serenity wasn’t for children, and the holy man had proven to be a good man and an obviously good father.

“Sure.” Jack smiled sadly at her. “I’ll need female advice in a bit, ‘n I don’t think I’ll be gettin’ any from Iman, so I’ll be gettin’ into contact with you. No worries.”

“Good.” Kaylee gave the girl another hug. “I want you to behave, though. I know you like bothering Suleiman, but he’s going to take care of you from now one so don’t make it hard for him, okay?”

Jack nodded obediently, returning the hug.

Pulling away, tears making their way down her cheeks, she stood. River, captain, Riddick, Jayne and Zoë had gone to go meet the client and Kaylee and the others were left to say goodbye to Iman, Jack and Suleiman. “Go on now.”

Jack nodded and hurried to where Iman and Suleiman were waiting. She looked like she was trying desperately to cry, and the grateful smile she gave Suleiman when the boy placed a comforting hand on her shoulder assured Kaylee that the younger girl was going to enjoy life with the Chrislams and be well taken care of.

“She’ll be fine Kaylee girl.” Shazza smiled at her side.

In a very awkward encounter, after breakfast (where everyone had been surprised at how delicious Shazza’s food had been), Mal had turned to the woman and offered her room and board if she wanted to stay on as Serenity’s cook since most of them couldn’t cook at all. The woman (and everyone else) had been visibly surprised by the offer, but she’d rapidly accepted it saying she had no where else to go and would love to stay on Serenity.

And with a small smile, Mal had left to go see the clients.

“ Wanna come with me to the market?” Shazza asked, basket under one arm and a list in the other. She’d taken her position as official cook seriously and had immediately looked through their supplies and made a list of what they would need, calculated approximately how much she would need to buy them, and somehow wrangled the money out of a usually closed-purse Mal as easily as Kaylee made Simon go ga-ga.

“ Sure.” Kaylee smiled, wiping at the tears still in her eyes. “I need ta go get some parts anyway. You can see that cap’n was piloting my poor baby, Serenity’s all shook up. She missed River’s piloting sorely.”

Shazza chuckled as they made their way into town. “I ‘member Mal’s drivin’. We actually met ‘cause I was caught in a torrential rain on my way home ‘n he had a covered mule ‘n offered me a ride. After a couple of minutes with his drivin’ I told him ta let me out in the rain ‘cause I wasn’t goin’ ta ride in that death-trap any longer.”

Kaylee giggled. “Well, his piloting is better, but he ain’t as good as Wash was, or as River is.”

Shazza nodded silently as they made it to the marketplace and started looking at the food on sale, taking notice of the prices and eyeing the sellers, trying to figure out which ones they could haggle with and get lower prices.

“Gorramit.”

Shazza looked up when she heard Kaylee whisper that, and frowned. The girl had gone pale. “What is it?”

“Alliance officers.” The mechanic whispered, seeing the small group of men in uniform enter the marketplace, looking over everyone as if searching for someone.

As the officers made their way to them, Kaylee pretended to be interested in some vegetables and Shazza looked up when the taller of the men came towards her.

“Good day ma’am.” The man announced in a detached way.

“Gud’day.” She nodded, face neutral. “How may I help you officer?”

“We have word that a very dangerous criminal was seen here earlier.” He showed her a frozen image of a younger looking River Tam, with her name and the words Dangerous written beneath the image. “Have you seen her?”

Shazza frowned at the image but shook her head, looking up into the officer’s eyes as Zeke had told her to do whenever in the presence of an Alliance officer. “No, I haven’t.”

“If you see her, find one of us and let us know immediately.” The man ordered.

“Of course.” Shazza nodded and watched as the man joined his friends, shook his head, and they continued forwards in the marketplace, showing everyone the frozen image of River Tam.

“They know she’s here.” Kaylee turned to Shazza, eyes showing fear and anger. “Gorramit, the ruttin’ hundans know she’s here!”

“Why is the Alliance looking for River?” Shazza asked.

“Not enough time.” Kaylee placed her hand on her arm. “Someone’s gonna remember seeing River and lead those hundans right to where she is. We need to warn the others!”

Shazza nodded. “Kaylee, you go ‘n tell Simon to ready the infirmary in case we have some injured. Start the engines, we’ll need to get offa this rock as soon as possible! I’m going ta go where they said they’d be meetin’ ‘n warn Mal.”

Kaylee nodded. “Be careful.”

Shazza nodded before shoving the basket into Kaylee’s hands and hurrying through the crowd towards the bar where Mal had said they could be found if they were needed.

Lemme get there on time.

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River knew that no one thought much of her when they saw her. Mostly all they noticed was a skinny young woman with flowing black hair and dresses that flittered around her in the breeze. No one noticed the shiv hidden in a strap around her thigh or the gun holster she had around her arm with the shiny gun blinking at anyone who paid attention.

Everyone thought it was just a rouse to make her look more intimidating---a rouse that didn’t work because she looked like a child wearing her mother’s shoes, but that suited their necessities perfectly. Everyone tended to either ignore or leer at her, completely comfortable in her presence, and that made reading them all the more easy.

She looked at the scene before them.

Mal was sitting with Jayne, a silent Riddick, and their two boisterous clients who wanted them to bring them some cargo from some ‘associates’ in Baeumonde. Mal was haggling prices, Jayne was making a comment here and there, and Riddick had been silent throughout the whole exchange, looking terribly intimidating (the men kept sending him nervous glances) and had only spoken once, to call the bluff of one of the clients on the price, causing the man to go red in embarrassment and finally agree to Mal’s price.

The captain looked at Riddick as if starting believe that he really would be a good addition to his crew. If anything he’d kept Jayne entertained as the mercenary had spent most of the ride on the mule telling a silently uninterested Riddick the names of his guns and the stories of the men he’d killed and taken them away from (the stories of the killing had struck more interest in the murderer).

“So, that should conclude our meeting.” The fat one announced, getting up and shaking their hands, looking somewhat relieved when Riddick wouldn’t shake his hand. “C’mon cousin.”

The clients left.

And it was a good thing too…

River gave a cry as the image of the Blue Hands and of Alliance Officials entered her mind…Officials that were heading towards the bar at that very instance.

“Lil’ Albatross?” Mal sounded worried, and his voice was far away and distorted.

“What’s wrong with moonbrain NOW?” Jayne asked in exasperation and a little worry.

Her legs collapsed on her and she crumbled to the ground, holding her arms and shaking back and forth, leaving this plane behind, her fear isolating her from reality.

“Hands of Blue touch her skin, bathing it in red, and when they take her back to Hell, the girl’s as good as dead.”

From somewhere far away she felt a presence and someone grabbed her upper arm, jerking her up to her feet roughly, shaking her violently.

“Hey!” Mal called out in protest.

The fog around her disappeared and she felt his presence, and realized he was speaking to her, anchoring her once more to reality and leading her back to the present.

“The only one taking you anywhere is me.” Riddick’s goggled gaze quickly scanned her face before he was sure that she had returned from whatever madness had taken over. He turned to Mal. “We’re leaving now.”

Jayne opened his mouth to protest.

There was a commotion and everyone looked up as Shazza ran into the bar.

Mal stood rapidly, worry etched in his face as he reached her. “What’s wrong? Shazza? What’s wrong?”

She looked up at him, curls a mess and face red from overexertion. “Alliance officers are all over the marketplace with frozen images of River. We have ta leave now.”

And that was when the Alliance Officials entered the bar, their eyes resting on River and Riddick almost immediately as they drew their weapons.

Riddick’s whole body tensed like a predator readying to attack. “Too late.”