BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

MICJWELCH

Jayne's Crush Part 7 (finale)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008

When Jayne and Simon venture out in the cold to fetch supplies for the now pregnant Zoe, they come back so sick that Kaylee has to take care of them both.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2774    RATING: 7    SERIES: FIREFLY

“If you harm my crew,” Mal said.

“You’ll what, Reynolds? Leave me to die again?”

“I’ll end you where you stand,” Mal said firmly.

They could hear gunfire from inside Serenity.

“Go hwong tong,” Mal said. “Jayne, take care of them.”

“Yes, sir,” Jayne said. Mal knew that the sir wasn’t so much out of respect as it was because Jayne was happy to follow that particular order, but he appreciated it anyway.

Mal ran back inside Serenity, and not seeing Zoë there, ran up the stairs to the mess hall. The gunfire stopped as he came to the top. He came into the room just in time to see Simon fire.

Mal got to Zoë at the same time they did.

“She’s alive,” Simon said as he examined her.

He and Simon had no trouble taking her down to the infirmary. As soon as she was on the bed, Mal left. Kaylee stepped in to bring Simon what he needed.

“Jacobs!” Mal started yelling as he came through the airlock. “Nee yow wuo kai chiung!?”

“He’s a bit indisposed,” Jayne informed him.

Jacobs and all the other men were sitting on the floor, bound and gagged.

“Very nice,” Mal told him.

“Seems River here is pretty good at tyin’ people up,” Jayne said. “It was kinda hot.”

Jacobs had a shocked look on his face. Mal reached down and pulled his gag off.

“Your man shot one of my crew,” Mal said. “Would’ve been more if we’d have given him the chance.”

“Where is he?” Jacobs asked.

“Oh, you want the body?”

Jacobs didn’t answer.

“Jayne,” Mal said, “Get the body and bring it to their ship. River, go muck up their navigation systems. Just enough to stall them for a few hours.”

Jayne and River both left quickly.

“Now,” Mal said, looking back at Jacobs. “What are you going to give me for wastin’ my time, and shootin’ my crew?”

* * *

“That’s the last one,” Jayne said as he closed the airlock. Five crates were sitting in the middle of Serenity’s hold. “I’d call that a pretty good haul.”

“Not bad,” Mal said, and then he turned to Simon. “How’s Zoë?”

“She’ll be fine,” Simon said. “Baby’s fine too.”

“Good,” Mal said. “Get us out of here, then, little albatross.”

“Yes, sir,” River said, and then she ran up the stairs.

“Simon,” Kaylee said. “I didn’t thank you.”

Simon immediately started to blush. “I, uh…”

“You saved my life,” Kaylee said.

“Way I heard it,” Jayne said, “You had you some down right quick thinkin’.” It was the first time Jayne had spoken civilly to Simon in quite some time.

“I was just doing what had to be done,” Simon said.

“Well,” Mal told him. “You saved these two girls’ lives.”

“Hey, Simon,” Jayne said. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you and Kaylee.”

That brought on a silence that no one had ever heard before. No one even moved.

“It’s good to have you on board,” Jayne told him.

“Well,” Simon said. “Thank you. I-”

“Now let’s see what’s in these crates,” Jayne said as he pulled the top off of the one closest to him. Mal picked up a hammer and started to help.

“Come on,” Kaylee said to Simon as she took his arm, leading him back to her bunk. “Let’s leave these men to their toys.”

COMMENTS

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 2:41 PM

MICJWELCH


If anyone's interested, you can download the entire fanfic at http://www.mediamax.com/micjwelch/Hosted/Jaynes_Crush.doc

Thanks for the kind words on this. It's my first fanfic. I would love to hear any constructive criticism over at http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=12&t=32889

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 4:24 PM

CALDAR22


Not Bad,Keep writing

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 5:18 AM

LEIASKY


Very interesting set of chapters. Some were far too short for my liking, though! I've held off commenting because I wanted to see where you were taking the whole story.

It's very plausible that Jayne was jealous of Simon and that's why he hated the doctor so much.

Kaylee's reaction when she found out didn't seem as believable, though. Is she really so shallow that she'd have to 'make a decision' to stay with her current man or dump him for someone that she just found out likes her? I didn't feel there was enough set up for her 'confusion'.

The resolution at the end seemed very forced and quick, as well. Jayne made a complete turn around to complementing Simon that didn't ring very believable.

The action was nicely done though you could have done more with Zoe being hurt and possibly the baby.

This is definitely not meant to be a flame, just some constructive criticism. Take it to heart or ignore it at your leisure:)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 1:36 PM

BIGBADJAYNE


Would have to agree, the conclusion is a bit forced and too quick, and the resolution suffers. I would have liked to see Jayne make more of a play for Kaylee's affections, if he is as interested as you wrote, and not just pine-away while he's sick. However, this is a really great first fic!. Keep writing and see where the 'verse takes you!


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